Everyone turned to her.

That feeling of awareness that people are staring– the one that makes a person's face burn with inexplicable shame, skin crawling as though fire ants are crawling over it– was a sensation Emilia had always hated. She experienced it often, given whispers of her abnormality were never far from her ears. People liked to stare at the things that they didn't understand.

All the demigods were looking at her as if she'd sprouted another head or a set of tails. She would've shrank back if it weren't for Pollux pinching her side firmly.

"My mother is known as Lady Strife," she said, trying her hardest to keep her voice from wavering. "I've been called the Daughter of Strife. And... I had a dream about Hera. She told me that if I wished to make up for what I've done, I would free her. Without me, it all falls to chaos. I have to prevent it this time, not cause it."

Annabeth and Nyssa were silent, until at last the daughter of Athena said, "Emilia, I... I don't mean to put you on the spot, but have you had any other dreams? Heard any whispers?" She didn't say the rest aloud but it was implied that maybe, just maybe, she expected Emilia could know who had done this to Hera.

Her cheeks felt like they burned, and she had to take a deep breath to keep the shadows from surging forward to shield herself from view. She didn't like how everyone was suddenly looking at her.

Only Will Solace offered her a kind, encouraging thumbs-up. Whatever the truth was, they wanted to hear it. Will knew that she still heard Kronos's voice, but they'd already determined it wasn't really him, it was her own conscience, it was her own associations with him that kept the voice alive. Not Kronos, he was gone for good.

But she had nothing to offer regarding who this enemy was, who Hera's kidnapper could possibly be. "No dreams," she said. "Not... that kind anyway. But even just imagining Hera being broken out makes me think of when he broke out. Even Chiron mentioned other things... stirring. Hera told me there's a way to make up for what I did. I've wanted to do that and this is my chance... amends unmade. I can set things right."

Chiron and Annabeth shared another look, and Emilia could already imagine that they were thinking about the fact that four people weren't supposed to go on a quest together. But instead, she was surprised when Annabeth looked to Will, as if he had a say in this.

She had a feeling that he did have a say. He was her therapist, he was the one most closely monitoring her emotional progress. If she had to take a guess, it's possible her stay here had come with conditions. There were only a handful of others she knew here who had served Kronos, and none had been as involved as her but had fought in a few more battles. They could all be on a probationary period, a test run to see if they were making any proper contributions. If not... well, she wasn't sure what they would do but it wouldn't be good.

"I believe the line is about Emilia," agreed Annabeth. "Whatever she's going to do on this quest will be important in carrying out the Great Prophecy."

Jason looked over at her, most likely knowing nothing. Emilia wasn't sure if her status or that of the other 'traitors' would be the first thing mentioned on a tour of Camp Half-Blood. Usually new campers stayed away from her from the start and eventually when they learned the truth, the behavior persisted to an extent.

"I think she's meant to come with us," Jason said. "The four of us will go and rescue Hera."

Everyone started to leave at that point. Leo was the first to dart out, Jason turned to speak to Piper, and Emilia couldn't get to her cabin fast enough. Pollux and Will both darted after her, but she dissolved into shadows and traveled directly into the cabin to lock the door before they reached it.

"Emilia," said Will, knocking hard even as she stayed in the dark, to make it seem like she wasn't there at all. "Emilia, please, let me in."

She couldn't speak, let alone open the door. She realized what was going to happen, that she was going to leave the safety of the camp and be allowed to see the world again. Could she be trusted? Did she know enough to go out there and risk herself?

No, of course not, you'll never learn anything with the way they restrict you here. You were made to take over worlds, you were made to destroy the weak. She put her hands over her head, she tried to tell him to be quiet. Still, her conscience formed his thoughts. You nearly helped me emerge victorious during the last Great Prophecy, now you really believe you are what holds together the next one? You're a fool if you believe you can bring 'hope' to any prophecy.

"Pollux is going to grow vines until they rip the door open," said Will outside. "I'm not supporting this but he threatened, so I might as well make sure you know that."

She turned and opened the door, glaring at Pollux just as he was making a patch of strawberries crawl up the steps. "What if I just wanted to come in and pack for my quest?" asked Emilia in as steady of a voice as possible. "What if I wanted to go to sleep early?"

"You don't," said Pollux. "I don't know a lot of things but I know that. You'd rather panic pack in the morning than do it now. I've never been on a quest, I can't imagine what you're feeling. What if we just want to talk and see how you're doing?"

She looked between him and Will, huffing and drawing the shadows back to let the cabin light up again. "Fine, come in. Isn't this against the rules?"

"I don't think it matters," said Will matter-of-factly. "Pollux's dad is Dionysus himself. He can't get in trouble for anything and neither will we if it's through him."

She rolled her eyes, annoyed that they wanted her to talk about this with both present. She hardly told Pollux anything about her feelings. "Can we just get this over with? I'm nervous, I don't know if I should be going anywhere, I don't think I should be trusted with a quest. There, what now?"

"For one," said Pollux, "you have the advantage of shadow travel. If things get really bad, you can hopefully get out of wherever you are. Your spear can be conjured with shadows, you know how to use your abilities and I taught you enough sword so you can fight with another weapon if need be. Just try to be a team player. You're not the best at it."

"Thanks a lot, Pollux, real comforting."

"It's good advice," said Will. "You're a strong fighter, you'll be a big help. We're only an Iris message away."

"I don't think Iris particularly likes me. I've never been able to create a rainbow no matter how hard I try."

"Maybe because you're trying too hard. Just try to relax. Follow your instincts. Don't think too much, just do what you feel is right. You're the oldest one on this quest, you have to keep them safe. They don't know enough about you to be afraid. Prove to them and everyone else what Pollux and I already know. You're not a bad person, Emilia, no matter what you've convinced yourself of. You showed us that you don't do things with malice, you were tricked and misled and you could've gone down with the ship but you chose to be here, you chose to be better than the others."

"And what if–" she stopped when she saw Pollux was looking through her desk, casually putting away a sewing kit.

"What?" he said innocently. "I didn't know you could sew."

Emilia turned back to Will, agitated. "And what if I can't control it?"

Pollux peered over with great interest but Will motioned for her to ignore him, "You can and you will. You're stronger than it, you just have to remind yourself of your own volition, your own choices, your own path in life. You're the only one who controls it. Nothing can break you unless you let it. Fight back when it starts getting out of control and reign it in. Then, you'll be the only one holding power over yourself."

"What he said," Pollux added helpfully, gesturing toward Will. "The kid's got a point."

Will made a face, annoyed that he was being referred to as a kid. If anything, Emilia would consider Will the oldest person in the room. Mentally, he was far above her and it seemed Pollux wasn't the brightest bulb in the Home Depotlight section, either. "All we're saying," said Pollux, "is that you're going to be fine, Emilia. You have probably the scariest abilities out of anyone, maybe even scarier than Jason, Percy, and Nico. And you're shorter than all three of them so aside from all this—"

He gestured to her expressionless and intimidating face, making her frown and lean away, "People will underestimate you if you work to make it happen and then you'll have the advantage and catch everyone by surprise. Imagine being all sweet and smiley one moment then absolutely destroying everyone the next. I mean, I've seen Percy conjure up hurricanes and I'm sure monsters pissed themselves a bit from that but you can create darkness, cut with it, make someone go to war with themselves. If I was Hera's captor, I'd be shitting bricks right about now."

It was a statement so odd and unexpected that she had to let out a hard laugh, which almost sounded normal. Pollux seemed pleased with this. "Go pack," he said. "And sleep well."

"Thanks, Pollux," she said genuinely, trying her best to make her voice sound soft and kind. It was hard to do despite the fact she actually appreciated it. It was probably one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to her in regards to her powers. "I'll try."

She stuffed a small bag with five pairs of underwear, socks, two pants, two undershirts, two t-shirts, two long-sleeves, and one hoodie in case she got cold. She hoped they weren't going to go anywhere too cold. Sometimes, there was only so much the shadows could do to keep her warm if she willed them to. She fit into the small pouch as much nectar and ambrosia as possible, as well as a first aid kit for minor scrapes. She really hoped they wouldn't have to use it.

She considered her spear for a moment, wondering if she should take the real one or find a Celestial bronze replacement. Before she arrived at camp, she thought of it as Nightmare, but had wanted to change its name to something people wouldn't recognize so easily. Pesadilla, the Spanish word for nightmare, hadn't sounded cool enough, so Nico had suggested the Italian word, Incubo. She settled on that and almost immediately regretted it because she liked it too much and had done nothing to get rid of a sinister-sounding name. She'd had no ideas since and hadn't even been using the spear in training. Still, she had a bad feeling she'd need it.

The last thing she made sure she carried was a necklace she rarely wore. From it hung a small, dark apple, which she liked to think of as the apple of discord, her mother's symbol. Really, it had been a gift from her aunt. If one pressed on the stem, the apple would open into a skull, a mouthpiece apparent that if blown into would emit the same chilling sound as an Aztec death whistle. She'd used it the day she led Kronos's troops into battle. Since then, the necklace had been untouched.

"Amends unmade," she muttered to herself, clipping it on. "At least this will freak somebody out if we need it."

She had no idea what Leo was going to do to fix their transportation problem or how Piper was going to get herself quest-ready overnight, and she especially had no clue what Jason's plan for the quest was, but she tried to think that it would be fine. Will and Pollux had a point. She had control. She had great powers. In the end, it would keep her relatively safe.

Listen to the lines, foolish girl, read between them. The son of Zeus will fall and you will not catch him, the forge and dove will fail, you'll build no hope and make no amends. You are a monster just like the ones you will encounter as soon as you leave. You can't live among them out there. You'll never be like a mortal and you'll never function as a half-blood. You could have been an immortal, a Titaness at my side, and now you've become this. Deep down, you know you're a wicked person, you know you still want your revenge. Have it. Kill them, let Hera rot in her cage. Let the stirrer rise at their leisure. Fix your mistakes, do what is right. Crush Olympus.

She willed two shadows to plug her ears and forced herself to hum as she got herself ready for bed. Crawling beneath the covers, the shadows made the room nice and dark, drifting around and creating enough white noise to lull her to sleep.

Sleep, then, but know what I say is true. It's why you hold onto me. You are a bomb waiting to go off, daughter of Eris. Your rightful place is Tartarus. Who will you drag with you when you fall from grace?

-

Their transportation was going to be a problem.

She'd just gotten out of bed and willed herself to brush her teeth, hand shaking the entire time, when she heard the panicked shouts outside, campers asking for help. Butch was banging on cabin doors, demanding everyone come and do something.

"The dragon is back!" he was shouting. "The dragon, it's here!"

Emilia had only ever heard about it, never having bothered to go into the woods and certainly not about to confront any dragons in her spare time. She avoided most social gatherings as often as she could, unless Pollux happened to stick by and wordlessly drag her around. Really, the way he wasn't bothered by her inability to be normal was oddly concerning. Perhaps the son of Dionysus was a little mad himself.

She hadn't even had a chance to eat breakfast before the dragon was already swooping down, probably about to destroy everything. Though, it became apparent pretty quickly that it wasn't planning to do that. Emilia blinked several times as she shouldered her bag... why was Leo riding the dragon?

"Leo!" Piper yelled, emerging from the Aphrodite cabin and staring up at him. He looked like an absolute lunatic, even crazier than the satyrs that were running around begging the dragon not to kill them (as if a bronze dragon would listen to them).

"It's cool!" said Leo as he landed. "Don't shoot!"

The Apollo archers lowered their bows. Emilia narrowed her eyes as the light began to reflect off the dragon, a sixty-foot long serpent with steel talons and drill-bit teeth and glowing ruby eyes. It reminded her of a hellhound, but if they flew. It had bat-shaped wings twice its length that unfurled like metallic sails, making a sound like coins sliding together.

(She wasn't sure how she felt about flying around during this quest. Zeus probably didn't like her very much, he could blast her off the dragon and send her right to Tartarus to meet her mother.)

"It's beautiful," said Piper, the only one who seemed to think so. If Emilia wasn't so blinded by it, she might have been swayed to say the same. The dragon made a creaking nose, rearing its head and shooting a column of fire into the sky. How it could produce it, Emilia didn't understand.

Leo slid off calmly, holding his hands up in peace, though he was grinning like crazy. Emilia almost felt insulted when she remembered Will once described her smile (she tried to make it less creepy, really she did) as that of a serial killer. For that reason, she did her best not to smile with teeth. Arguably, Leo's smile was a lot more unsettling. Whatever he'd managed with the dragon, he was a mad genius.

"People of Earth, I come in peace!" He shouted, his body covered in soot and grease. It was hard for Emilia to mask the cringe that rose in her mouth, both because of his comment and the way he looked. She had a bad feeling her facial expressions were going to need emergency work if this quest was going to kick off on a good start. The last thing she needed was for her strange companions to think she was side-eyeing them when all she was doing was zoning out.

Leo's bloodshot eyes and curly hair sticking up all over did little to assuage anyone's fears about the dragon. Emilia had half a mind to send shadows over to cover him and the dragon, really, they were both a strange sight. "Festus is just saying hello!"

"That thing is dangerous!" snapped Clarisse, brandishing her spear. "Kill it now!"

"STAND DOWN!" yelled Jason from the entrance to Cabin One. He pushed through the crowd, followed by Annabeth and Nyssa. "Leo, what have you done?"

"Found a ride!" Leo beamed. "You said I could go on the quest if I got you a ride. Well, I got you a class-A metallic flying bad boy! Festus can take us anywhere!"

"It– has wings," Nyssa stammered in shock.

"Yeah! I found them and reattached them!"

"But it never had wings. Where did you find them?"

Leo stuttered, "In... the woods. Repaired his circuits, too, mostly, so no more problems with him going haywire."

"Mostly?"

Emilia stepped forward as Festus twitched his head, tilting it to the side and letting some oil pour out of his ear, all over Leo, who laughed awkwardly, "Just a few kinks to work out."

"But how did you survive...? I mean, the fire breath..."

"I'm quick! And lucky. Now, am I on this quest, or what?"

Jason scratched his head. "You named him Festus? You know that in Latin, 'festus' means 'happy'? You want us to ride off to save the world on Happy the Dragon?"

It was probably the stupidest thing Emilia had ever heard (and she'd heard many stupid things... or maybe she simply thought they were stupid because she'd never had a normal sense of humor) but Festus twitched, shuddered, and flapped his wings enthusiastically. Leo took this to mean approval. "That's a yes, bro! Now,um, I'd really suggest we get going, guys. I already picked up some supplies in the– um, in the woods. And all these people with weapons are making Festus nervous."

Jason frowned, looking at Emilia who was in shock, glaring at Leo as if he was insane for wanting them to fly off without an itinerary. "But we haven't planned anything yet. We can't just–"

"Go," said Annabeth softly. "Jason, you've only got three days until the solstice now, and you should never keep a nervous dragon waiting. This is certainly a good omen. Go!" She came to Emilia as Jason and Piper started climbing onto the dragon. She lowered her voice and spoke kindly, "Hey. Percy trusted you a lot, he thought you were a great person and because of that, so did I, so did Will, Pollux, everyone else. The past doesn't matter anymore. Just what you do now. If you can change things, if you can make this prophecy kick off on a good note... then I believe you can do it."

"Thanks, Annabeth," said Emilia gently. "I hope you find him before we're back. Otherwise... assuming all goes well... I'll go out on foot myself. I'll send shadows to every city and town until I bring him back to you."

Annabeth smiled weakly. "I hope I find him, too."

"Come on!" called Leo. "We still got room for one more!"

Rather than try and clamber up the oddly-framed dragon, she had the shadows carry her up to sit in a single file line with them. Leo in front, then Emilia, then Piper, then Jason holding up the rear.

"Here," said Leo helpfully, "hook your feet there." He gestured to chinks in the armor running along the dragon's spine. He did it first to demonstrate, then Emilia tried it to follow the line. As soon as they put their feet in properly, cleverly concealed leather safety harnesses rose up to hold them.

As the dragon kicked off and flew into the air, she gave a sharp gasp and gripped the bronze slabs beneath her tightly, hands clenching over something she couldn't properly grab. She hated it instantly. She'd never flown in a plane, much less on top of a dragon. Even on Mount Othrys, so high up, she was never really outside. Always in the palace, mostly in a corner. Even with Kronos in Luke's body, she wasn't exactly choosing to linger in the open air.

If she hadn't already felt bad about the quest, she certainly did now. Freezing cold wind was rushing past her face, and it didn't matter that the dragon's metal hide generated heat, it just made her feel like she was being cut and boiled at different angles. The grooves worked as a comfortable saddle, so at least her tailbone didn't ache, but Emilia hadn't even been on a pegasus. No horse had ever let her close enough to ride it. This was her first time on top of any sort of moving creature and she loathed the lack of control, the lack of a solid footing on the ground. She never realized how much she missed it.

You belong in Tartarus, girl, you're not meant to be in the sky.

Leo held onto the reins so confidently, it made it seem like he'd been riding dragons all his life. Emilia wondered what it was like to be genuinely good at something. At least, something proper like this. Pollux and Will could praise her all they wanted, but being good with her abilities wasn't the most honorable thing in the world.

She missed breakfast and deep down already missed Pollux, Will, even Annabeth. And she certainly missed Percy. He probably would've given her the most ridiculously helpful pep talk for this quest. Scratch that– if Percy were here, everything would be fine. Emilia could have stayed at camp until she was ready (if ever) to exit into the rest of the world. She might've made more progress if Percy was still here. Really, she'd never considered how much she appreciated him until he was gone. Until he wasn't there to chirp a 'hello' in the mornings and show her to hold a sword properly in the afternoons.

"Cool, right?" said Leo as they shot over Connecticut, climbing into the gray winter clouds.

"What if we get spotted?" Piper asked.

"The Mist," said Jason. "It keeps mortals from seeing magic things. If they spot us, they'll probably mistake us for a small plane or something."

"Does that still hold true for metal dragons that aren't necessarily monsters?" muttered Emilia.

"I appreciate you saying that," said Leo happily. "Festus isn't a monster at all."

"We're making good time," said Jason, looking down at the distant mountains beneath them. "Probably get there by tonight."

Piper hummed. "Where are we heading?"

"To find the god of the North Wind," replied Jason. "And chase some storm spirits. Quebec is the goal."

"Don't like storm spirits," muttered Emilia. "Unpredictable. Loud. Not easy to reach."

They were quiet for a moment until Jason admitted, "I asked Annabeth about you. Not because I don't trust you but just to know some things."

"Drew had plenty to say," added Piper. "Things I don't think she'd dare say if you could hear."

"Nyssa didn't say anything bad," offered Leo, which Emilia could tell was a lie. Really, he wasn't a very good liar. And she had the sense he was also in conflict with himself most of the time, which didn't do wonders for playing pretend. She hated that she was still too good at lying. If she wanted to deceive someone, she could do it way too easily.

And just as easily, you can be deceived. You've become weaker...

Emilia let out a harsh breath. "Whatever you've heard is probably true. Some people probably still consider me a traitor even though I never went to Camp before the war. To the demigod... community, I guess you could call it... I am one. I served Kronos, I brought him demigods and monsters, I hated the idea of the gods and I wanted to help him get what I thought was his rightful throne. It wasn't until I saw the mercy they showed me at Camp Half-Blood that I realized how wrong everything was. Chiron gave me a chance and I've been trying to make up for it since."

Piper let out a soft sigh and Emilia could feel a stirring inside of her, as if debating internally if she should say something or not. "Tell me," said Emilia. "Whatever it is, I'm sure I've heard worse."

"Drew said you were... in love with Kronos."

"Oh." She frowned. "I wouldn't say 'in love.' That's a strong way of wording it. I don't think I can feel that." She tried to think of Percy's patience, of Annabeth's wisdom, of Pollux's humor, of Will's honesty. She didn't want to overshare but she didn't want to seem like she was hiding anything. She didn't want to scare them but she didn't want to mislead them, either.

"I was... confused," she added. "About what families should be like, about what my place was in the world. Kronos... manipulated me. I fell for his trap, made some choices on my own. In the end I realized a pretty face made it easier for me to accept his words as truth. He wanted me to be blind to the truth and I was. I couldn't figure out how wrong I was because he willed me to and I did. I... I don't really know how to talk about it. I suppose I'd respond easier to direct questions."

"No need," said Piper. Her voice was sweet, she didn't sound upset or judgmental at all. It was exactly what Emilia needed. "You seem nice." Somehow, Emilia knew she wasn't lying as she said it. No charmspeak involved, only... sincerity? "And what matters is that you can fight. I don't know what we're going to see on this quest but we need you."

"Thanks," said Emilia quietly.

It won't last, silly girl. These people will never be your friends.