𖣯 ✹ 🌷(úlfheðnar) ꏍ ！┈─❟
╰───►chapter sixteen; hiccup
❝ the useless, part two! ❞

    THE door slammed behind Hiccup. He scrambled into the dark Great Hall, almost tripping over his own feet. Statues of his ancestors gazed down at him, leering━as if their faces were alive right now and glaring at him for what he had done. How he had completely disrespected his entire heritage; their work. And he had done willingly, and wantingly. 

    And in the shadow of his father storming in through, slamming the door so hard behind them it swung back open, Hiccup has never felt so small. 

    "I should have known," he growled, storming so loud his feet pounded on the stone of the Great Hall floor. "I should have seen the signs!"

     Part of Hiccup felt stupid that through all of this, he never actually thought his father would find out. He always thought he could hide it from him. He thought he could just avoid this conversation forever. It was ignorant and naive of him. And now, Hiccup truly has put himself in a compromising situation. "Dad?"

    "We had a deal!"

    "I━I know we did!" Hiccup chased after him past the statues, feeling a lump grow in his throat. "But that━that was before ... Aw," he tugged at his hair, "it's all so messed up..."

    His father grumbled, furious, "So, everything in the ring━a trick? A lie?!"

    "I screwed up," Hiccup pleaded. "I━I━I should have told you before now. I just━you━" he continued to stagger after his dad, the lump stopping his words from coming out like he wanted them to. "Please, take this out on me, be mad at me, but please━just don't hurt Toothless!"

     Stoick the Vast froze in his step. Hiccup jumped when he spun in his big boots and rounded on him with a shout of, "The dragon?!" he exploded. "That's what you're worried about? Not the people you almost killed?!"

     "He━he━he was just protecting me!" cried Hiccup, desperate in the steam of light from the ajar door. "He's not dangerous!"

     "THEY'VE KILLED HUNDREDS OF US!"

     "AND WE'VE KILLED THOUSANDS OF THEM!"

     Hiccup's voice rang out into the Great Hall, echoing across the walls with the words no Viking has ever thought about. He watched his father pace angrily, lips sealed shut at what his son said. Hiccup took this chance to continue, holding his hands out in prayer for his father to finally listen to him. "They defend themselves, that's all! They raid us because they have to. If they don't bring enough food back, they'll be eaten themselves. There's ... something else on their island, Dad. It's a dragon like━"

     He faltered as he realised what he said. His father stopped pacing, eyes widening as he finally turned to his son. He had his full attention, but not in the way he wanted. "Their island?" he echoed, stepping closer. He towered over Hiccup, and his shoulders hunched, oh, what has he done? This just keeps getting worse and worse... "So, you've been to the nest?" his words were a whisper; bated with horrid excitement.

    Hiccup stammered, wanting to take back what he just told him, "D━D━Did I say nest?"

    "How did you find it?" his father asked, rushed. 

    "W━what? No! I━I didn't," Hiccup gestured widly, his heart beat rising by the second. "Toothless did. O━Only a dragon can find the island."

     Stoick's eyes snapped to the left, and Hiccup knew that face. His stomach dropped. "Oh, no, no, no. No, Dad," he begged, wanting to get through his father's thick skull. If he faced that dragon, he would be no better than dead. Hiccup couldn't lose his father. No matter their fights, their differences, he was all Hiccup had━ "No, no, no, please━it's━it's not what you think! Y━You don't know what you're up against it's like nothing you've ever seen━" 

    His father pushed past him, and Hiccup was tearful. "No!" he cried. "Dad, please━!" he reached a hand out, trying to get to his father before he left, marching with squared shoulders to the doors. "I promise you, you can't win this one!" But he was nothing but a voice in the back of his head; a fly buzzing ready to be swatted. "No, Dad. No."

     Hiccup grew angry himself━or perhaps it was anguish. He ran to his father on his short, skinny legs and grabbed at his big arms that were as big as boulders, "For once in your life would you please just listen to me━?!"

     His words were stuck in the back of his throat and replaced with a strangled gasp as his father shoved him down. Hiccup skidded along the stone, staring up at his gigantic father with wide, shocked eyes. 

     Stoick the Vast turned back to him, glowering. "You've thrown your lot in with them," he snarled. "You're not a Viking." He took a step back, then said━to Hiccup's horror: "You're not my son."

     Hiccup was stunned to silence, his heart racing as he tried to comprehend what his father just told him. Stoick the Vast stormed out of the Great Hall, slamming the door behind him with a shout of, "READY THE SHIPS!"

     And his only son was left there, in the dark, miniscule in the glares of his predecessors, his mind going over and over what his father said, you're not my son.

     You're not my son.

     Hiccup let out a choked sob and curled up in the dark, crying. 

𖣯 ✹ 🌷(úlfheðnar) ꏍ ！┈─❟

     HE watched them leave. Standing alone on the edge of the cliff walk, Hiccup stared down at the docks, seeing nearly every ship they had to offer be loaded with supplies, weapons, catapults and anything they'd need to go against the Dragon's Nest. But they had no idea what they were up against, no idea.

     He felt numb, eyes still red from his argument with his father. He didn't know what he expected━but he always thought his father loved him in his own way. Now ... it seemed that even Hiccup had ruined that, too. They called him the Useless, and that was what he was.

     Hiccup felt the need to cry again, seeing his father's gigantic figure of firey red hair and beard amongst the rest of the village. He felt like he was sending him off to his death sentence, and he was. He was sending his father off to die and there was nothing he could do about it. Hiccup had lost; he had lost everything.

     Almost the entire of Berk was leaving; armoured and with their very best weapons, to head to the island to kill every last dragon. It would be a massacre. All that would be left would be the elderly, the sick, the children, some wives and mothers who didn't fight, and Hiccup. Hiccup would be chief of the forgotten; the left over; The Useless.

     No you wouldn't, he reminded himself. You're as good as a bastard, now. 

     His eyes travelled across the fleet of ships, and his heart jolted at the figure of black in ropes and chains. Toothless struggled in the hold of his cage, pulling at the bars jolted around his body and anchored to the wood of the ship. He was to lead them to the end. Passage them through Helheim's Gate and to the island where a dragon far bigger than any other sat waiting; waiting in the lava dephts, unbeknowest to the feast she was going to receive. 

     Hiccup should have done something else; something more. He had failed Toothless. He had failed to protect him. It was like he had gone full circle, but instead of shooting the Night Fury down, he had betrayed him━given him off to the rest of the village when all he wanted to do was save his life. Hiccup couldn't do the same for him.

     "Set sail!" he heard his father shout across the waters. "We head for Helheim's Gate."

     Then he looked up, and even from this distance, Hiccup knew his father met his gaze. He couldn't tell whether he was angry, regretful ... or felt nothing at all to see his son so miserable; a little figure in the midday sun. A ghost to haunt him, that was for sure, even if Hiccup didn't know. 

     But as quick as he did, he looked away and marched to the front of the boat.

     The fleet set off, and Hiccup didn't move. He watched them leave until they disappeared past the horizon, as if they had fallen off the edge of the world. 

     If only he had been stronger, had been bigger, and not been ... Hiccup. Then, maybe, things could have been different. 

     Hiccup didn't know Yrsa was behind him until he heard her step up to his side. She didn't say a word, and neither did he. They just continued to stare out after the ships that were now long gone. But he could hear her silence. It was louder than anything she could say. He wanted her to just spit it out, and in the end, she did:

     "This is just a big mess of dung, isn't it..." she murmured.

    Hiccup rolled his eyes. He expected something along those lines. 

    "You've lost everything," she went on, giving him a side glance through her long, dark lashes. "Your father ... your tribe ... your best friend ..."

     "Thank you," grumbled Hiccup, "for summing that up."

    What was she doing here? He thought angrily. To make me feel worse? He already thought to himself plenty what she just told him. This was no way to cheer up someone, that was for sure. 

    But Yrsa wasn't one to sugar-coat anything, that was for sure. That wasn't who she was. 

   Hiccup sighed. He saw her fiddle with her fingers and he pursed his lips, finding himself speaking up even though he had wanted to stay silent. "Why didn't we just kill that dragon when we found him in the woods?"

    Yrsa nodded, "Yeah, we probably should have."

    "Would've been better for everyone."

    "You're right," she said. "Everyone else would have done it."

    Hiccup glowered at her, not sure whether he appreciated her simple answers. "Are you just going to agree with everything I'm going to say?"

     Yrsa arched a brow, meeting his harsh gaze with a strong one of her own. She was stunning in the sunlight. A Viking beauty was supposed to be blonde haired, like Astrid, but Yrsa was a different kind of striking. A fierce, fiery striking━a striking that was sharp (and a little snobbish) and yet so insightful with dark eyes that were much older than the rest of her. At those eyes stared Hiccup down. "I'm agreeing with you because you are right. It would have been easier. You could have taken his heart and showed it to Stoick, and been the hero of a Viking your father has always wanted. But you didn't. Why?"

     When she put it that way, Hiccup didn't know. He could have had everything he wanted, except he chose not to. 

     At his lack of a response, Yrsa faced him. "Why didn't you?"

     He sighed and turned away, "I don't know," he mumbled. Shrugging, he decided, "I couldn't."

     "That's not an answer."

     Those words frustrated him. What did she expect? A hero's answer? The answer that will fix everything? Hiccup didn't have an answer! He didn't know! "Why is this so important to you all of a sudden?" he snapped.

     Yrsa leaned in closer, brows furrowed with determination. "Because I want to remember what you say right now."

     What did that even mean?! Hiccup grew so frustrated, the words flew out of him without even thinking━ "Oh, for the love of━I was a coward! I was weak!" he spun to face her again, jabbing at his chest. "I wouldn't kill a dragon!"

     "You said wouldn't that time."

    "Whatever!" Hiccup threw his arms up, annoyed. "I wouldn't! And nor would you!" he pointed his finger at her, growing more and more angrier at the second. "If it weren't for you, I would have just left Toothless there in the woods to starve!"

     "You would have let him go even if I wasn't there."

     "How are you so sure of that?!"

     "Because I was there! I saw you! I saw that hesitation!" they were so close, their boots almost touched. Yrsa jabbed his chest this time. "You looked at Toothless and you weren't going to kill him!"

     "Fine!" Hiccup exploded, and he hated the triumphant look in her gaze, like she expected this all along. "Fine! I wasn't going to! Three hundred years, and I'm the first Viking who wouldn't kill a dragon! Is that what you want to hear?!"

     Her furrowed gaze faltered a little, and Hiccup felt those dark eyes bore into him gently, and he couldn't stay staring at them any longer. He looked away, glowering at his feet. That was the truth; she was right━of course, she was. Hiccup wasn't going to kill Toothless, even from the moment he grabbed his knife and held it up ready, even when he told himself, kill him, kill him, kill him ... he wouldn't do it. 

     Behind him, Yrsa mumbled a soft: "First to ride one, though."

     Hiccup froze. 

     "So...?"

     Those words struck a chord with him; a realisation as he remembered that day in the woods, standing over Toothless, staring straight into his bright green eyes ... and the truth hit him. The real truth; the truth all along. 

     "I ..." Hiccup's shoulders slumped. "I wouldn't kill him, because he looked as frightened as I was." He glanced back, and could meet her gaze. Determination flickered back inside him as he finally understood; finally understood everything he felt, all the emotions he had been fighting this past month. Yrsa watched him, a faint smirk on her face. "I looked at him ... and I saw myself."

     Yrsa nodded slightly to the ocean. "I bet he's really scared out there, right now." Her eyes glinted. "What are you going to do about it?"

     Hiccup shrugged, "Eh ... Probably something stupid."

     "Well, you've already done that."

     And then━like that, an idea hit him. Hiccup's eyes widened, and the smirk on Yrsa's face grew bigger and bigger until it was almost a smile. It was stupid, insane, dangerous, improbable ... but it might just work. Soon, he had a slight grin on his face, his heart leaping with fresh hope. He started to shuffle back towards the village, "Then something crazy."

     He ran off.

     Behind him, Yrsa grinned so broardly her cheeks hurt. "There he is," she said before taking off after him. 

𖣯 ✹ 🌷(úlfheðnar) ꏍ ！┈─❟

    a/n: i love the first movie. The fact that it's been over ten years since really makes me feel something ... 

    also not me already juxtaposing their conversation with the one in httyd iii. 

    we're getting closer to the end of the first movie!!! i'm a few chapters into the second movie, so i'm pretty prepared for this book. i'm trying really hard to make things different between my three hiccup x oc's, especially this one and valkyrie. make each relationship special and unique in its own way but also respecting the original canon conversations because these movies and series mean so much to me.