this was weird

i keep a pair or scissors at my desk bc im crafting and cutting wire and all that stuff right?

im just sitting there at my desk just screwing around and i look at the pair of scissors and suddenly my mind immediately goes to chopping into my fingers with the scissors and its very graphic and actually made me squirm and groan bc holy crap it was terrible??? and i couldnt get it out of my head?? everytime i rubbed my fingers or saw the scissors i immediately felt/thought of it

i finally had to like shove my scissors under my desk and watch some video on my phone to distract myself

it keeps coming back to geez

ive done this before last year (had the sudden and painful thought of shoving a piece of pencil lead into my eyeball) but not this bad or persistent

and?? i havent watched anything that graphic or bad that would inspire it?? brain pls