Disclaimer: I do not own uglydolls. I also do not own the pictures, or the songs.

(This is a uglydolls 2019 fanfic)

(Its, lou and ox-centric)

(Warning there is arguing that might be a bit sensitive to viewers)

(I haven't uglydolls a lot, so forgive if some of the characters are ooc..)

(qwertuno and In13579 and LoveGamer3)

(If anyone has any suggestions for somethings Ox and Lou should do, or any songs that could be sung! Just comment and let me know!)

(Hope you enjoy this little fic~😗)

Step

/stɛp/

1. the distance covered by a step.

2. a short or easily walked distance.

Ox's body is tense as he and the leader walk in silence to the location that is intended to be there. Each step he takes is one closer to confronting the past.

God, the past is the one thing that Ox doesn't want to face. He figures that he would rather be in the furnace than this. Yes, he is that afraid.

The fear that he feels constantly terrorises him and Ox isn't sure what his mental state is like anymore.

He knows that it isn't normal though, he knows that it isn't like anybody else's. His hands shake wit the nervousness and fear that refuse to leave him alone.

He fear has always been like this, always haunting his mind and his everyday life. Making his mind seem either crazy or just not normal.

It makes Ox do things that he doesn't tell the others about. Things that aren't worth sharing.

He looks at the scars on his wrist, luckily his fur covers them. But to his eyes, they are still red and just barely there.

The blood from the previous one still stains him, Ox has actually had thoughts about just....going.

Letting death take his souls from his body and maybe taking him to hell where he belonged.

The thought makes him smile in the silence.

But the silence seems to reign, Lou doesn't even look at him, never mind breathing near him. He looks like he's thinking, but his eyes are glazed.

"...Why are you staring?" He looks at the bunny. His eyes scan him for a second to long. "Is there something wrong? I'm perfect."

Lou knows that Ox stared at him, he stared because he reminisces about the past. Reminisces because he knows that Lou isn't himself.

"...You've changed." Ox states, his hands traces she fabric of the suit. "You never wore this that long before."

Lou knows that Ox is going to stain his suit. He somehow doesn't care.

"...We all change." He puts his hand to his chest. "I've just become some doll better. A leader."

"A fake." Ox hisses, tone venomous. "Some doll who you aren't. You forget that I know you. Isn't that right, brother?"

The green doll glared at the leader. This isn't a regular argument. It is actually a rare one.

"I belong to the factory." Lou clenches his hand and he frowns. "They ordered me to change and I did. I dare say that I've become better. Our little separation has done us some good."

His head turns to see the surroundings. The sky is blue and it looks to be a perfect day. Than Goodness, Lou can't handle the rain.

"On some level." Ox frowns. "Jesus Christ, Lou. Why do you obey them?"

They approach his house. It is as white as Ox remembers. There isn't a single stain present. It is all the same as before.

"Because." Lou closes his eyes as he steps inside. "You know that I have no choice. I'm not like the others."

I'm not like anyone. They don't know who or what I am.

"I know." Ox shuts the door and they arrive in the living room. He sits on a couch and looks at a picture. "...You kept it."

The photo is a precious one. One where a favourite memory is stored for both of them. He thought Lou would have gotten rid of it by now.

But no, he kept it. The leader actually fucking kept it.

Ox feels something flutter in his chest, a warm feeling. Something tells him that the leader was an act.

Lou looks out the window with his eyes scanning the dolls. They're just going to their normal day. They don't realise that there things in this world that are broken.

Like me. He thought. Like my soul. I can't feel, I watch as they have their dreams and mine are repeatedly broken.

The leader is someone who Lou uses to mask his feelings.

"...I did." His reply is sarcastic. "I had to go hide it though, the factory could come after us again. The risk was to great."

It comes out more caring than intended. Lou despises the bunny.

Yet, a part of me longs to keep him close. He thinks. I like him better than fucking Tuesday. Annoying little doll.

He shivers at the time he nearly had the deed with her while drunk. She had taken advantage of him.

She had gotten a week's time in the washing machine for that. Lou felt good about himself, no one ever took advantage of him again.

Ox traces the paper and puts it closer to him. This memory is one of his favourites.

The infamous (secret) duo wondered around perfection. It was night and the darkness covered them from sight.

"Ox?" Lou asks with his eyes closed. "Where are we going?"

The bunny has just recently called him to the house. Lou rushed over as the fear that he could be hurt ruled him.

Ox grabs the leader's hand again as they walked on the slippery path of perfection. The place always has to be spotless for some reason.

'Courtesy of the factory. You gotta give credit to the cleaner though. He knows his stuff.'

Ox really wants to thank whoever did it later. The floor is never slippery. No one ever has accidents.

You can't afford them here.

The sky shines bright that night, the colour is perfect. It's neither to dark nor too light.

Just real perfect.

The stars keep their shine, like they sense dolls who actually feel happy and hopeful. Like they're trying to make it known.

But the two dolls present know it can't happen. It is too much of a risk.

"Ox!" Lou whines, yes, he whines. "Where are we going?"

The leader is himself around the bunny. He knows that he won't judge him. Ox feels proud to have that honour.

He beams as they approach the destination, Lou feels slightly cold now. He wishes he brought his jacket. "Ox?"

"Here!" He exclaims. "Open them!"

Lou does and is surprised, the fight is amazing.

It is a little cafe and the place has dolls who are with each other. The outside reads:

Little Perfection.

Lou feels a little irony of the situation, Ox does to. They share as laugh.

"I found this place a couple of days ago." Ox tells him. "It's really neat!"

"Ox." Lou protests wearily. "You know we can't be risking this. We'll be seen."

The cross-eyed doll just smiles like an idiot. "That's the thing, I know the owner. We have the place to ourselves!"

Lou crosses his arms and examines it. Ox sees the blank expression on his face.

"Do ya not like it?"

The other just stares for another moment, then he laughs. "It's perfect."

The bunny cheers with full happiness. The leader just laughs. Then a camera is pulled out.

"Picture time!"

Lou yelps when Ox pulls next to him. Where the hell had the bunny got that thing from?!

"I got it from Alex." How had Ox known he thought that. "He sells these things for cheap."

He shrugs. "Alright."

Lou bends down and lets Ox sling an arm over his shoulder. He holds the piece sign and grins.

He does the same. He sticks his tongue out and holds up two fingers. They looked like idiots.

The picture is took.

"Hey, guys." Angeline comes out. "You coming or what? Oh, hi, Lou! Nice to see the leader taking a break for a change!"

He blushes. "Yeah, I guess I am."

Ox laughs in happiness. "I managed to get him out for a change."

"I can tell."

Lou folds his arms and pouts playfully. "Shut up."

Ox sees the secret grin on his face, his own grows on his face.

It's nice to be here, to see Lou let loose. The leader is a good doll.

Ox knows that he isn't fake around him.

The picture being taken from his hand snaps the doll out of it. He squeals in surprise.

His hand accidentally touches Lou's and the leader recoils like he has been burned. Like flames were on his skin.

Lou gasps as the he feels something shock him, electricity. The connection that he had felt is many years ago had been there.

For a second, he had felt whole again. Like he wasn't the only doll who was broken.

But no. He dusts his suit, there is a smudge. You are the only doll of your kind. The only one who is like this.

He closes his eyes for a second, he takes a breath. He feels something in his chest calm.

Lou grasps the picture and look at it. He feels his heart beat a second too long.

Ox has nearly dropped this, Lou can't let that happen. He will admit that he has some attachment to the bunny.

After all, they had been like brothers in the past. Maybe they had been just a little more?

More than JUST brothers?

The thought makes him cringe. Lou feels something burn.

Ridiculous. That thought isn't even allowed.

He is glad that Nolan isn't here yet.

"Lou?" Ox calls. "Are you alright?"

Lou feels like his going to collapse, he searches. Where the fuck was capsule?

He pulls out the cabinet and Ox sees tablets. Lou pops one into his mouth.

Are those anti-depressants?

He sees Lou take a few breaths. "Fuck, fuck. Not again."

Ox sees Lou clutch his head, the voices are trying to take over his mind.

He hates them so much.

Prototype.

Useless.

Heartless.

Not leaving.

The last one affects his core before they disappear. He feels himself wanting to cry.

He doesn't let them fall though, Lou has cried enough.

He feel something on his back. A hand rubbing it. Ox is trying to comfort him.

Lou doesn't know why, but he accepts it. He knows he is fucking up right now, but he doesn't care.

It feels so right to have the bunny near him. To just let him.

He relishes in the touch. Lou leans into it more, the hand goes to his face.

Lou opens his eyes to realise that they were sat down on a couch. When had they gotten here?

"Oh, Lou." The bunny sighs. "I know the real you is here. I forgive you for that song."

He rubs his face, why wouldn't these feelings go away? His chest constricts.

The hand stroked his face and Lou just looks out the window. For a second, it feels like the past. Like it was just the two of them.

Their eyes meet and Nolan isn't here yet.

Nolan isn't here yet.

Something clicks in Lou's brain, and his body reacts before his mind.

Ox and his lips connect. He pulls the other close out of sheer desperation, he needs to something to stabilise himself.

Lou feels the other shriek in surprise, but moans as he kisses him. Ox then finally responds (why, why did it take so long, so long-) and his hands go in his shoulders.

Their lips oddly fit together as they do this. Lou's hands wrap around the other as he pulls him even closer.

He doesn't know what he is doing, he just needs to feel something again.

This void had a demand to be filled.

And it was filled. Ox grabs Lou as much as he grabs him. He feels like this is right.

Why were they doing this?

The thing  they used to have in the past comes up, their minds replays it in their heads.

They just need to be themselves again. To feel like they weren't half of any wholes.

To feel like they were together, not like they were separated beings from their bodies. To feel like their souls were actually theirs.

To feel like something belonged to them.

Lou clutches Ox closer, he doesn't want this to go. He wants the void to stay filled like this. Why was it refusing to let him go?!

His hands start to stroke the bunny's fur, and he hits the spot that he knows Ox likes. His leg starts shaking. He likes it.

Their eyes are closed, but they don't see the doll that's in the doorway.

"L-Lou?"

The blonde snaps out of the trance and slowly looks behind him.

God, no.

"N-Nolan." Lou stands up, Ox sits up and the couch. He looked surprised. "God, I can explain. Just give me a chance."

Lou's heart thinks as the other just looks away, he is guilt tripping him.

He is going to leave you.

He doesn't love you.

He knows that to be true. But Nolan looks back with a smile, like he forgives him.

Lou craves that. The leader act has fallen now that he is inside his mansion.

Nolan approaches him, Lou feels smaller for a second.

"I'm sorry.."

His feels arms around his torso. Nolan is hugging him? The doll is confused.

"I told you before." He whispers. "I forgive you."

Ox watched as the two interact. Lou grabs the other's hand. He doesn't want Nolan to go.

He clutches it and turns around. "Do you love Luckybat?"

Ox doesn't reply, Lou just rolls his eyes

"There's a guest room across the hall from mine. Stay there tonight."

Lou's tone is cold, not like earlier when he warmly kissed the rabbit. His hand tightened around Nolan's, he needs him right now.

The door shuts with a bang. Ox is left there alone. His finger traces his lips, it feels warm.

He wishes he could do it again.

***

Bring

/brɪŋ/

Verb

1. cause (someone or something) to come to a place.

2. take or go with (someone or something) to a place.

Lou and Nolan kiss as soon as they go upstairs, Lou brings him to the top. Their arms are around each other, he can't stop getting enough.

He wants to feel something again. Something that isn't the void that haunts his mind and body.

He wants to make his body react to this, make his mind react to this. To make his souls react to this.

Leader is the one who takes care of the dolls daily, leader is the one who rules them all with the confidence that Lou is known. Leader is the one who is the bad guy.

Leader is the one who becomes, the one who he refers himself to on a daily basis. Leader is the one who hides in the deepest pits of his mind.

Leader is the voices who speaks in his head. He whispers promises, praises, insults, truths, lies.

He is the one who everydoll fears and loves. The one who every doll knows. Lou becomes him when he can't handle a situation like earlier with those dolls.

He sighs when his back hits the door, his feet skid the carpet when Nolan pins him. He knows that the other is mad. His hand is on his and squeezes hard.

Lou oddly likes the punishment, he takes it like a good leader. After all, the other wasn't in control.

Leader is how he copes with the problems, leader is the one who he created in his mind. His natural mechanism.

But it's all Lou's fault? He doesn't know.

Is it? He doesn't know. I don't know.

He doesn't tell the difference between reality and fantasy here. His room is a place where there is no cameras.

(The factory watched constantly, constantly, they never let him off the hook, paranoia plays a role, it plays a role-)

He knows that he needs to be watched ever since the incident, it's the reason he knows how to put in a show.

(Be the fake, fake doll-..No, he is the fake doll-)

Be a little puppet, pawn? He doesn't know the answer. He belongs to them all the time, he doesn't have free will.

Not here, not anyway. It's why he sometimes rebels against them. Dolls think Lou to be a 'golden boy' or a 'perfect doll'.

He is none of those things. Nothing can redeem the things that he has done, become. He is nothing like the rumours say. He isn't free.

He is trapped. The factory make him stay.

(He does remember in the past where they were more lenient, more willing. He remembers being happy, being sane-)

His sanity is...questionable now. It registers what he does and the bad things that have happened.

The things that he knows he isn't guilty of. He only follows the rules, he is perfect. He follows what they say.

Lou knows that he is the bad guy. He can admit that.

He knows that he has done things that have been deemed 'criminally insane'. Dolls words, not his.

(Like the time where he sent multiple dolls to the furnace for not being perfect, the smudges, the stains, the happy looks on their faces-)

He hates happiness, he hates those that crave it. Like him, he hates himself. Lou admits that he tried to commit suicide once.

Nolan saved him, it's part of why he's with him. He feels like he owes him for saving him and encouraging him to go on.

Nolan brings him back to reality by grabbing his face. Lou has a habit of going into his thoughts.

It's partly why he puts on a show.

(His thoughts are the things he has control of, he digs deeper into his mind like he owns it. He knows that he doesn't own anything else, he needs it-)

"Are you thinking again?"

Lou looks at Nolan. "Yes, sorry. It's those uglydolls, they're...persistent."

He isn't lying, he was partly thinking about them. They really are something, Lou actually admires them in a way. No doll else has ever tried to stay.

Not like Ox.

(The times where he actually laughed, the times where he could put a simple fucking smile on his face. Where he didn't put on a show, where he was pure. Before the rules came into play-)

The doll who made him feel sane. The doll who made him feel.

The rules play a large role. His status depends on them, they can change any second.

He knows they he needs to do something to get rid of the doll-

"They can be." Lou's head snaps to hear him, it causes a slight pain in his neck. "I can't believe you did that song though."

He smiles. "I needed to do something to get a little revenge."

(Not the proper one he would want, Lou's mind plans something big, he doesn't have to think to know that leader has a way. It's sadistic, twisted, not him, he wants to do it his way, an idea might come to him-)

He wants to do something else, not a song. More practical. Old school. Not like where he could just throw them out.

His reputation is fragile. He could go form hero to zero in less than a second.

They dolls are pretty, but they have minds of their own. Intelligence can be a tactic, it makes up for the lack of brawn the dolls are given.

The factory make them like this so they don't rebel.

Lou really hates them.

"I guess." Nolan puts a hand on his chest. "I guess that's why everyone calls us Nolou."

Their ship name, dolls are good at coming up with those. Their minds are programmed like a group of gossiping people from the big world.

Lou only knows based on what he saw. He has memories like the rest of them.

"I guess."

He kisses Nolan again before he can respond, the doll is the nicest, boldest, he's met.

(But his heart craves something else, different, it wants the old thing that was in his life all those years ago, the things that haunt, plague his mind in a way that he doesn't want it to, he hates Ox-)

Then why does my heart ache?

Lou brings the other to his bed, their shirts are long gone. He doesn't know how long has passed since they've kissed.

He hits the mattress with a thump, he hates how big his bed is. It leaves too much room for him to move, want somebody there.

Is it bad that I want the bunny here?

He doesn't know what right and wrong is, he just knows that he is capable of thought.

Why is Lou so bad? Why does he not appreciate what he has?

He has an empire, mansion, a fucking boyfriend who loves him.

Why does he feel so damn empty?

Nolan travels down more and Lou arches his back at what he's doing. He sucks, he twirls. He's giving him pleasure. His mouth of good.

He moans as Nolan continues. It's so good, wrong, but good. The tip is swirled around and he moans.

This feels so good.

Nolan should be the one on Lou's mind, but he can't, he just can't.

It this what being apathetic feels like?

It certain feels like it. Lou knows what he should feel, but he just can't.

He knows he did back in the past. A memory comes to the surface.

He travels with Ox to a place where they have been before. The two walk and walk and don't talk.

Lou knows that he rhymed, but he doesn't care. He just feels joy at the moment.

He and Ox had their first official kiss. Last night of all nights! He felt so god damn happy!

He isn't afraid to admit it, it fills his core with a funny feeling. He doesn't mind it for once, Lou embraces it.

(Especially since he never felt this before, since his mind plays the images of dolls going over and over again, always leaving-)

His hands clap together and he smiles for once. It's sincere, it's something he hasn't done since he first got here.

His smile is one of pure fucking happiness. And around and a kiss.

But Lou has never kissed anyone before Ox, he still feels the fact that he had received one so...good.

He knows that it's stupid to go on about, but this is his thoughts, the audience are just viewing them.

(Especially since he has been watched, viewed, he has no control of privacy that he craves, needs, he's forced to constantly look over his shoulder-)

Lou knows he is paranoid. But it's part of who he is.

No one can know the real him.

Ox partly does, Leader has tried to come out multiple times. Lou turns stone cold at the weirdest moments. He doesn't want to.

"What are you grinning about?"

He looks. "Just about last night."

Ox grins, it's a goofy one, a lovestruck one. One that suits him. "I see, I'm the one who initiated it."

"It was my first one." Lou playfully jabs. "I got nervous."

"The leader? Nervous?" Ox mock gasps. "I wouldn't believe it."

(He has no idea how nervous Lou was. How much he was worried that he would mess up. Make the bunny not be with him, a fear that haunts him-)

"Yep." His mouth refuses to go to a frown. "I really was."

His mouth still goes into a smile, but now it is fake. It is one that he shows daily to everyone.

"Huh." Ox's hand grabs his. "I guess that's understandable. It was our first one after all, my first one to."

"I guess it's both."

It really is both. Lou's never kissed a doll until now.

(Lies, he has kissed a doll before, but they're empty. Lips connect to fill a void that cannot be filled. Not until now where he hasn't felt it, he craves that-)

"I have kissed a doll before." Lou confesses. "But they're empty. Your the true doll who I like."

It isn't a lie, he truly likes the doll, but love is another term. He is only learning this foreign feeling. He doesn't know just yet.

Ox smiles, it's strained a little. He doesn't show how upset he is. "That's okay, I don't need to know about your past romances."

Lou feels a stab, he doesn't know why. He feels guilt, but he has been here so long.

It's kind of inevitable that he has found a few dates here and there.

(Especially since he just wants to feel something, is it bad that he just wants someone? He doesn't think so, but others do, they call it being selfish, they call it seeking something that you don't deserve-)

Lou works hard for what he has. "I know, I just wanted to mention it."

He swears that something is on the bunny's face, a flash of anger. Like he doesn't want to hear it. Like he doesn't want to be near him.

Lou frowns, his mouth finally moves. "Are you okay?"

"Yep!"

Ox moves to walk past him, there is a brush to his leg. Lou feels a sting, he clutches his chest.

His head bends, and for a second.

He doesn't feel.

Lou screams in pleasure when Nolan hits the right spot. He muffled it by the pillow.

He is still aware that Ox is here. He could be listening right now. In his room, not at the door.

That could be creepy.

Nolan goes rough and Lou sees stars. He almost wants to pass out.

(He forgets the past for a second, forgets the constant loneliness and hurt he feels on a daily basis, the void that demands things from him, he forgets Leader, a doll that he becomes daily-)

He forgets the pain and pleasure enters his core. Nolan may think that he had taken his innocence, but he hasn't.

Lou gave his virginity to a doll named Ox.

He closes his eyes-

***

-He opens them to feel a sleepiness that isn't familiar. Lou doesn't know how long he was passed out for.

He just knows it has been a long time. Lou sighs and tries to close his eyes again.

Uglydolls need to go. The thoughts comes. They want to ruin the empire I have WORKED for.

Lou opens them and growls. The sleepiness suddenly fades. He is suddenly wide awake.

Nolan's head is in the crook of his neck, but Lou doesn't care. He doesn't care for the warmth that he is supposed to be feeling, the care he is supposed to feel.

He replaces himself with a pillow and gets up. He puts a suit on, instinct even if he is staying in his own house.

He walks out and shuts the door. He needs to get this out of him. He needs to sooth the boiling anger that threatens his core.

(He knows that he isn't supposed to be like this, but jealousy is a common emotion here, pretties can be prettier, and he is the prettiest doll here, anger is bound to be present sometime in every doll-)

Lou growls. "Why does this bother me? I just need to get this over with."

He whines as he clutches his head, he doesn't realise that he has arrived at a room.

Get it over with.

Pretty doll~

Destined to never leave~

He sees that and knows everyday of his life. Lou clenched his fists as tears threaten to fall.

At least Nolan and Ox are asleep, they don't see this. The insanity that takes over him.

(It does everytime, he can't stop it even if he wanted to, society has made him develop like this. He can't stop his mind from thinking, forming, plotting-)

But Lou knows that he needs to do this. Needs to get this thing out from his chest, mind, heart.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

"Ugly Dolls"

He slams the door open, he growls. Lou hates this.

"I'll crush them all
Destroy their dream"

He walks through the room with his fists clenched, Lou needs to get this out, the anger.

"To save my perfect empire
Nothing's too extreme."

He walks past his his paintings, ornaments, and even a statue a statue of himself

Lou admits he is that that vain. Kinda hard not to be since you receive attention and praise nearly all the time. It's bound to raise anyone's ego.

"And I know how to do it
Without looking too uncouth"

He approaches the window and his reflection appears. It is a doll who cheats and lies constantly.

It's also a doll who used to feel alive in the past. Now Lou just feels dead inside.

"Plan it so foul, gross, hideous, nasty."

His face does into insane, his eyes shine, and his mouth curls into a grin that isn't his.

Lou feels both sick and satisfied as he sings this.

"they'll never see the ugly truth."

He shuts the blinds and turns around. Lou hums as the void backs down.

He laughs a little, that song so short.

"Lou?"

Shit.

He turns around to see Ox there. God dammit, has he heard him?

"Yes." He replied calmly. "What are you doing up?"

"I heard singing." His eyes narrow. "Why?"

He knows Lou too well.

"Just...in a mood." Not exactly a lie. "Felt like it."

Not going to tell you anything else.

Ox seems to tired to ask. Thank God. Lou doesn't want to answer any...unnecessary questions.

Luckily his smile is so perfect that even Ox doesn't see through the act. "...Okay. I guess that's fine."

Lou folds his arms as the green dolls leaves. What did he expect? Some kind of conversation?

We're past that. There is nothing to talk about.

There is plenty to talk about.

He knows that. Lou slams the door on his way out. He knows that there is things to talk about, a lot of things to talk about.

Lou just doesn't accept it.

He approached his room. He takes his shirts and shoes off and slip into the bed.

He brings Nolan closer to him, the other lays his head into his neck. Lou doesn't mind.

He settles down to sleep. He has a lesson to teach tomorrow.

He has a feeling that it's going to be hell with the Uglydolls there.

Things were going to change.

He just knows they are.

(A/N: Hey guys, hope you enjoyed the chapter~😁)

(If anyone has any suggestions for somethings Ox and Lou should do, or any songs that could be sung! Just comment and let me know!)

(Vote, and comment if you like this~😚)

(Hope you enjoyed this chapter~😘)