A silent hum filled the room as students piled into it, some in groups, some in pairs, some as individuals with earbuds drilled into their ears, their body swaying ever so slightly to the beat. It was a rather large room, so large, in fact, that if you sat on the highest set of seats, the professor looks about a foot shorter than he actually is.

As Evan waited for class to start, he looked around the room in complete awe. College was already so much different from high school then he had previously thought. He messed with the sleeve of his hoodie, itching to scratch at his scars even though it was nearing two years since he had last touched them. It was a nervous habit, he supposed, most likely triggered by being put into a school environment again.

The hair-tie bracelet he wore dug into his wrist because of how tight it was, despite having worn it for over a year, but it was oddly comforting. It was always there, if he ever needed it. Not for his hair, though, he used it for something else.

—

"Ev?" Jonathan knocked softly on Evan's doorway, watching as Evan's head snapped up from where the boy had been laying on his bed. He had only been home for a few days, but he was miserable. Ever since he had returned home his mother had given him so many rules. The only thing he could do without someone constantly checking on him was laying down. "You okay?"

Evan smiled at the sight of his boyfriend. "I've been better. You?" He patted the empty space besides him, laying his head back down as Jonathan settled in next to him. Instead of laying down like Evan was, he just sat cross-legged, looking down at him.

"I'm good." He ruffled Evan's hair. "I brought you something." He reached into the plastic bag that Evan barely realized he had in his hand. "It's not anything special, but I thought it might help." Evan sits up as Jonathan pulls out a pack of hair ties, opening it up and handing him one of them. Evan held it in the palm of his hand, confused.

"Help with what? What am I supposed to do with this?" Jonathan chuckled, taking the tie from Evan's hand and sliding it down onto his wrist.

"You put it on, and whenever you feel like hurting yourself, just snap it against your wrist. Like this." Jonathan gripped the band between his thumb and pointer finger, his face scrunched in worry as he pulled the band away from Evan's wrist. He was scared to let go and possibly hurt him, but he needed to demonstrate. The band snapped against the boy's scarred wrist, and he winced. "Are you okay?" Jonathan was quick to ask, suddenly feeling guilty for demonstrating.

Evan nodded, though, pulling his wrist closer to him and trying it himself. Once again there was a quick 'snap' and he winced, but then he smiled. "I'm fine, Jonathan. Thank you." He looked back up at him, smiling. Suddenly, he pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly. "Its a great idea, I'll try it, I promise."

—

Unknowingly, Evan snapped the band against his wrist a couple more times. By now, he was already used to the quick sting it made against his scarred over flesh after he released it, so it was more of a nervous habit than a coping mechanism. If anything, he was just trying to keep himself from falling asleep. He hadn't slept all that much the night before, consumed with worry of being in a school environment again.

Two years later, and Tyler was still in his head. Frankly, Evan wasn't sure if he'd ever leave. There'd been countless nights where he woke up and had to tell Jonathan to leave the bed because the memories were so strong, other times he had been too worried about triggering a memory in his sleep that he kept himself up. It was torture, but Evan lived with it.

Although, it tore him apart.

Finally, the professor called out to get everyone's attention, and suddenly Evan was glad that the room was huge because he was so nervous that too many were going to pay attention to him. Luckily, there was no one sitting next to him. He snapped the band against his wrist once more, trying to get rid of both the urge to sleep and the nerves that came creeping back in. He opened his notebook to the first page almost immediately after his professor made his introductions, picking up his black pen to begin writing down notes.

Before that, though, he decided to try out a trick that Jonathan had given him the day before. He pulled out his phone and went to the recording app, shrugging off the memories that came with it (just barely) and hit record right as the lecture started. Placing his phone face down, Evan began to scribble away in his notebook, trying his best to listen to every word he was saying. It didn't take him long to fall into the familiar note-taking routine.

As the class neared its end and the professor brought his lecture to its close, Evan stopped his recording and set a reminder for himself to listen to it later on. Unexpectedly, the doors burst open and two out-of-breath boys came stumbling in, not caring that they had just interrupted the class, or what was left of it.

The professor, though annoyed, didn't say anything since there was barely ten minutes left, instead letting the boys find a seat as they climbed up the stairs alongside the rows of seats. Evan, still listening as the professor continued on speaking, snapped the hair tie against his wrist as the boys settled into the seats besides him. Of course they had, since they were the only two empty seats. Hurriedly, they pulled out notebooks and scribbled down all that they could get from the end of the professor's lecture until he finally dismissed the class. Evan was packing up his things when he felt a tap on his shoulder, which made him jump in surprise.

"Sorry," one of the boys who had come in late apologized to Evan, who had just finished zipping up his backpack. "It's just, well, we didn't get the notes, obviously." He gestured to him and the other boy who was late, his cheeks beginning to turn flush with embarrassment. "Could you send us a picture of them?" Although everything in him was telling him to say no, Evan didn't want to seem like a huge dick right at the beginning of the year, and besides, it could be beneficial to have acquaintances in his classes, so he just nodded.

"Y-yeah, um, just give me your number." Evan stuttered, pulling out his phone nervously.

"Thank you so much! You're a literal lifesaver." The boy who had initially asked him praised, the trio now walking out of the room together since the professor had another class to teach. "I'm Smitty, by the way, and this is Scott." He introduced himself as Evan was typing in their numbers that Scott had scribbled down on a piece of paper right before they left. He glanced up, briefly.

"E-Evan." His voice was quiet, like all his social skills had just left him as soon as high school was over. In a way, they had, since the only person he ever really talked to these days was Jonathan. "Nice to meet you." He said, putting in the contact names. "I should be able to send them to you sometime around noon." He kept his eyes on the floor as he put his phone in his front pocket.

"Alright, perfect. Do you have another class right now, actually?" Smitty asked out of the blue. Evan took a second to think before shaking his head, immediately regretting that he didn't say no. He really did lose all of his social skills. "Okay, well this is gonna sound weird since we just met, but would you maybe wanna grab some food with us? Just to say thank you for giving us your notes? Don't feel like you have to! I know, we literally just met." Smitty rambled, tripping over his words so much that Evan actually cracked a smile.

"What he's trying to do is invite you for breakfast as a thank you for your notes, Evan." Scott said, saving Smitty from the humiliation of trying to form a coherent sentence. Evan chuckled.

It can't hurt, Evan thought to himself. Jonathan said I should try to make friends, he reasoned to himself as he replied. "Sure, why not?"