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A week later...

*Laurel's P.O.V*

I'm trying hard to forget how much I'm missing Luke, given my most recent discovery about what I feel for him. It's been three days since I came back and I've been avoiding Austin at all costs, he must be extremelly pissed at me right now.

Truth be told: I can't be with him. Not anymore.

I'm in love with Luke.

Wow, this is so weird.

"Laurel?" Damian calls me, snapping me out of my daze.

"Hm?"

"Uh... I hate getting in the middle of this but Austin just texted me asking me to ask you why you're ignoring him."

"I'm not ignoring him." I lie.

"Oh, really?" I hear another voice, coming from the entrance. I look over my shoulder and there he is, the last person I wanted to meet right now.

"You can't be here, Austin." I say, turning away from the microscope to take off my gloves and my coat to talk to him.

"If at least you answered my calls I wouldn't need to cross the entire campus after you." He snaps. "What's wrong?"

"Do you really want to talk about this now? Right here?" I ask through gritted teeth. Austin looks around, realizing he's causing such a damn scene and everyone in the lab is looking at us.

"Fine." He groans, holding my arm. "But please stop ignoring me. I mean it. I've missed you so much, Rel. Let's do something later today, what do you think?"

Ugh, Austin. Why are you always nice like this?

I take a deep breath and small smile at him, nodding.

"Show up by 6 at my place. Okay?"

His eyes shine bright and he cracks that beautiful smile of his.

"Okay love." He says, kissing me quick. Too quick for me to escape.
                               •••
I'm walking around my living room, trying to think of what exactly I'm going to tell Austin. My initial plan was making our "relationship" unbearable, so he would simply give up on me. I hate breaking someone's heart, this is something of mine... Better someone making me suffer than the opposite, I feel so guilty and sad... How the heck am I going to tell Austin?!

Someone knocks on the door and I jump in surprise. My heart is racing in my chest and my mouth is dry. All good, Laurel, just be honest.

When I open the door, Austin is standing right there, with a rose in his hand.

Oh no.

Austin wide smiles at me and leans down to kiss me again, giving me the rose and passing through me to come in.

"I also brought a movie" He shows me his other hand, which was behind his back, and shakes a small DVD box, smiling timidly. "I know you love it."

Shit, that's Star Wars.

"I really do." I say, smiling softly at him while closing the door. "But I was hoping we could talk..."

"Later, babe." He cuts me off, heading to my bed and getting my laptop. "First we're watching this, what episode is it? Return Of The Jedi."

"It's the VI" I answer. Wait, what? "Anyway, Austin, I really need to speak with you--"

"Do you have popcorn? Or maybe Doritos? We could order a pizza!"

He's avoiding the conversation. I stand on his way and hold his arms so he pays attention to me.

"Austin, I'm serious." I look him in the eyes. "I have to tell you something."

His smile fades away and his gaze becomes heavy, sad. He takes a deep breath.

"At least... Can we watch the movie first? I've missed you so much." He gently rubs my cheek with the back of his hand. I sigh.

I'm gonna tell him, whether it's now or later.

I agree and he takes me to my bed. We lay down and put on the DVD on my laptop. During the first part of the movie Austin remains frozen, but his hands gradually make their way towards me, and before I know it Austin is on top of me, sucking harshly on my neck.

"Austin." I whisper, his hands cupping my breasts. I try to stop him but he kisses me hard, sliding his tongue inside my mouth.

"I need you." He whispers back, pulling up my shirt and throwing it somewhere on the room.

For a moment, I imagine it's Luke. I imagine he's here, with me, kissing me and touching me. However, his touch is so different from this one; my imagination isn't powerful enough to trick me when it comes to the way Luke touches me.

I open my eyes and gently push Austin's shoulders, so he gets off me. He sighs and sits on the bed. I follow him, holding his hands.

"I'm sorry, Austin. But I can't. I'm sorry I've been avoiding you ever since I arrived. It's my heart, it was confused, you know that." I begin, unable to look him in the eyes. "And now I think it has decided what it wants."

"And it isn't me, is it?" He questions with a sad voice. I softly shake my head in denial. Austin sighs and holds his face with his hands. "I really did think I had a chance."

"But it's not something you've done, Austin, come on!" I hurry, rubbing his shoulder. "You're awesome, you know that, I've always told you how flawless you are. Someday you'll find a person that will deeply, madly and completely fall in love with you, and you'll love them back."

"Why did you choose that dude Lucas, Laurel?" He stands up, unbelieving. "I mean, fuck, he brought his freaking girlfriend when he came, do you think he wants something with you?"

"To begin with, they are not dating" I retort, standing up and crossing my arms. "And even if they did, my heart chose him, what can I do?"

"He lives across the country, how will you manage to see him oft..." Austin stops, looks at the wall behind me. "The scholarship. In San Francisco, that's why you're craving it so much. You want to be closer."

I look down, waiting for him to say whatever he still needs to say. He's angry, I get that.

"Laurel, have you ever considered that you might ruin your whole future for that asshole?!" He grabs my arms and forces me to look at him. "You have no guarantee that you will get the scholarship, there are like 3,000 people wanting it as well!"

"He's NOT an asshole, and I'm pretty confident I can get that scholarship, my project is--"

"No special! Everybody is trying the same thing! You haven't invented penicilin, Laurel, let's get down to earth. And besides, why would he be with you when he could have a freaking model or whomever the fuck he wants? That girl A is pretty hot if you wanna know! He's fucking famous, he's not like you!"

Ouch.

I look at him, disbelieving, hurt, offended. Did he really say that to me? I can't stand gazing into his eyes, so I face my feet, waiting for another punch in the stomach. It doesn't come, though. Instead, Austin clears his throat.

"I'm sorry, I'm upset. I didn't mean to say that."

"I think you've said enough. And so have I" I stutter, feeling the knot in my throat. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to rest."

"Laurel, please..."

I walk through him to my small living room, silently opening the door and standing by its frame, my eyes on the floor. I hear Austin's steps near me, his hard breathing. He tries to grab my hand but I hide it behind my back. So he sadly steps out of my apartment.

"Goodnight, Austin." I whisper, gathering all my courage to look him in the eyes one last time. His gaze meets mine and I know he's devastaded.

"Laurel, please, let me..." I shut the door, not even bothering to hear what else he has to say. And the tears run down my face, like I knew they would.

Within half a minute I feel like I've eliminated all the water in my body through my eyes, but I can't stop crying, even though I'm not sure if it's because I just finished my "relationship" with Austin. Actually, I'm feeling more hurt about what he said, mainly because well, I know he's right.

Having so many gorgeous, rich and powerful women surrounding him 24/7, what would Luke possibly want with me? That explains why he never lets go of A. Austin is right, she's beautiful, and she lives in LA. My relationship with Luke is against all odds, supported by only one single thing: our effort. That's everything that keeps it alive, even when we are most of the time apart.

I'm doomed for loving Luke, but I simply can't stay away. I wish I could say "Oh, from now on I'm not gonna call him, not gonna think about him, not gonna miss him", but it's impossible. I literally need him.

And for that matter, I'm doomed, I'll watch Luke fall in love with other people while I hide my feelings for him. I'll watch as he travels around the world and lives his dream.

My phone buzzes, there's a text message. It's like he could feel it.

Luke: i'm always here my angel. youre special to me, remember this :-) miss you

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Double update today! 😁 keep on reading!

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