There's a song in this chapter, as you might have noticed. if you don't like this one you can get Candles, by Daughter. Its lyrics are actually exactly what is happening! (or you can simply get one dramatic song you've got on your playlist lol)

*Luke's P.O.V*

During the rest of the party, I don't let go of Laurel, not even a single moment. She talks to my friends and, to them, she looks happy. However, now that I know she struggles with something, I can't help realizing some features of pain on her face.

Laurel and I go get her a little more whiskey. I stop drinking since I'm driving us home.

"Oh well, hello Luke." A woman greets me.

Hell no. I know this voice.

"Hello, Hannah." I sigh, pressing Laurel tighter against me.

"Who's this? Your new toy?" Amanda's ginger best friend mocks, and I feel Laurel tensing by my side.

"Nope. Not that it's any of your business, though." I roll my eyes, walking away.

"Amanda won't be happy when she finds out about this." She warns, following me, and I laugh sarcastically.

"At the moment I couldn't care less about what Amanda would think."

"Actually, take a picture, you'll have proof." Laurel retorts and Hannah glares at her.

"Oh, so she barks?" She raises her eyebrows.

"If I want you to be able to understand me, then yeah, I do bark." Laurel spits. She's clearly a little drunk.

And why am I feeling amused with that?

Hannah rolls her eyes and let us be, and I look at my feet.

"I'm so dead when Amanda finds out" I admit, and Laurel sighs.

"I'm sorry that being with me causes you so much trouble." She wraps her hand in mine.

"I love trouble. But no more alcohol for you, miss." I kiss her forehead, heading back to where Ashton is standing with Bryana. For some miracle Calum is finally talking to Natalie, and Michael... well, to be honest I don't know where Michael is.

After half an hour of conversation, Laurel and I say goodbye to everyone. During the ride home she doesn't speak, and neither do I. She's sleepy, tipsy. I turn on the radio and switch the station to one with... Less loud music.

A random songs starts playing and Laurel suddenly tilts her head, groggily chuckling.

"I love this song." She says, humming the lyrics. "Take my hand, I'll teach you to-" Hiccup. "dance... Spinning around, won't-" Hiccup. "let you fall down..."

"What song is this?" I ask, trying my best not to laugh at her drunk hiccups.

"It's All About Us, by He Is We. It's old." She replies, keeping on humming. "It kind of reminds me of... Us. Remember? That day back in my apartment, when we danced."

"Yeah, I remember that." I smile to myself, not taking the eyes off the road. I feel Laurel's hands in my thigh, and I straighten up on the seat, shivering.

"I always catch myself thinking about it. About you." She smiles.

"I'm glad, because I always think about you, too." I admit, feeling my heart beating faster.

"Cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love. Spotlight shining: it's all about us..." She sings and I frown. Is she, like, singing it to me?

I need to understand my feelings for Laurel, and quickly.

When we get home, I wrap my arm around her waist to help her walk inside. She's starts shivering because of the cold air of night, and I don't even have a coat for her. Damn it.

We get inside and she heads upstairs, coughing a little. I go right after her, holding her waist.

"You need a warm bath asap." I joke, touching her cold cheeks.

"Can I use the bath tub, then?" She weakly smiles at me, holding my arms. I chuckle and nod.

We get to the guest room and she kicks off her heels, contracting and relaxing her toes. I turn on the bathroom lights and when I turn around, Laurel is struggling to unzip her dress.

"Do you need help?" I ask, cautious.

She glances at me for a moment and then agrees.

She turns her back and I come closer, pulling her hair to the side. I slowly unzip her dress and it drops to the floor, leaving her in nothing but her black panties. I gently lean down and kiss her shoulders, feeling like I need to touch her the same way I need to breathe.

Laurel tilts her head and lets out a small moan. I try to stop myself but I simply can't, so I feel my hands traveling down to cup her breasts, but as soon as I get to them, she grabs my arms and pushes them away, crossing hers over her chest.

"My... Bath." She stutters, and I clear my throat, embarrassed.

"Sure."

Laurel follows me to the bathroom and I turn on the faucet, making sure the water is warm. I look over my shoulder and she's leaning on the doorframe, her eyes shut.

"I guess it's good. Take your time." I say, preparing to leave the bathroom. "I'll be in my ro--"

"You are perfect." Laurel interrupts me.

"Then why won't you let me make you feel good? Why do you push me away?" I question, holding her arms and she cringes, clenching her eyes.

"And I owe you an answer. But first, I think I really do need a bath." She says, and I sigh, frustrated.

"Okay."

I close the bathroom door and head to my room, leaning against the wall, my hands in my head. I slowly slide to the ground, siting down.

How do I feel about this?

I'm going mad if I don't get my shit together.

Even though I know it wasn't more than 30 minutes, it seems like an eternity until Laurel finally steps inside my room. She's wearing a black shirt - so big it became a dress for her - and wet hair.

"We can talk now. I'm feeling better." She sighs, pulling the shirt sleeves so they protect her hands. She comes towards me and sits on the floor by my side.

"I'm all ears." I say, waiting for her to start. She looks like she's struggling with her words, until she finally speaks up.

"When I was a freshman back at my first college, I was nothing but an innocent and naive girl. My high school sucked, a lot of things happened with my family and I lost all my closest friends. I thought university would be a restart, where I could get to know new people that would stand by me."

Laurel stares at my window, sighing. I can see tears forming in her eyes.

"And I really did make new friends that I still carry with me. I also, um... I also got to meet someone I fell in love with. A friend we had in common, Vanessa, introduced us. His name was Sean. Oh, I remember how in love I was! He had me at hello, literally. Handsome, athletic and reckless guy. He started talking to me, making me feel more and more special. We would make out in hidden places around campus, he was the first guy ever that didn't give up on me at first. I was dying for him to ask me to be his girlfriend but he wouldn't, at least not if I didn't open my legs for him. I was a 19 years old virgin at the time, scared of what it could mean deflowering. But Sean would always push me, and the more time went by, the more he would insist and the less patient he would get.
One day, we were at this party at his friend's. There were drugs and alcohol everywhere. Sean was high and drunk, and he decided that day he would get what he wanted, whether I liked it or not. He would offer me beer after beer in hope to make me drunk, and to be honest, he almost did. When I got a little out of myself he carried me to one of the rooms, locked the door, laid me in bed and-"

Laurel starts sobbing.

"I asked him to stop, several times. But he was too strong and I wasn't exactly sober. He took my virginity and it was the worst night of my life. I cried for two weeks in a roll, just remembering how traumatic it was. And he didn't stop; he would always get drunk and fuck me whenever he wanted to. And I let him. I did because I thought I was in love, I thought he loved me, well, in his own way.
About three months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I thought everything would change; we would be the happy couple I imagined we could. It turned out that after one single fucking month being my boyfriend, he cheated on me. With Vanessa. And they would make sure to rub it on my face every day. Oh, and they would also say terrible things about me. People called me a slut out of their declarations, Luke. From that day on I swore I'd never have sex with anyone I'm not 100% sure I love and they love me back."

Laurel is crying so much I don't even know what to do.

"That's why I craved so much that scholarship. That's why I left to North Carolina. I spent 2 years suffering because of Sean, I needed to get away from him, from the memories, from the pain... I got traumatized by the whole experience, Sean was my first boyfriend... And here we are now."

She wipes her eyes and glances at me. I'm shaking in anger, pain, surprise, all together. I feel like punching a wall or whatever the fuck is in front of me. I can't believe someone could ever do that to Laurel. Or to anyone!

But what can I possibly do? Filling her up with questions is definitely something I can't right now, despite my confusion.

I take a deep breath and open my arms. Laurel hugs me, her head buried in my chest, her tears running down. I wrap my arms around her in a protective way.

"You're alright now, love." I say, gently combing her hair with my fingers, kissing the top of her head. "I'm with you. Nobody will hurt you again like this, I promise. I won't let anyone get close to you, ever."

She doesn't stop crying, and I can almost hear my heart breaking in my chest. I'm feeling like someone has just stolen the most precious thing from me. I can't stand seeing Laurel like this, crushed, sad, hurt.

"Please, Luke, you can't tell anyone about this" She asks, between hiccups.

"No one will know, I promise." I pull her chin up so she looks at me, taking a brief moment to kiss her forehead.

Laurel cries for some more minutes until she gradually stops, her breathing becoming steady. She's about to sleep. I stand up, carrying her on my arms. I lay her on my bed, placing the covers on top of her. I turn off the lights and lay by her side. She falls asleep and I support my head with my left arm, while gently rubbing Laurel's cheeks, caressing her hair.

"I won't let anybody hurt you, my angel." I whisper at her, even though I know she's not listening. "No one will ever make you harm."

I'm not sure when I close my eyes and sleep, but my arm is around Laurel, and I'm ready to protect her from anything, even if it's a nightmare.

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Thank you for reading my book, we hit 12K already! It means the world to me. Stay beautiful 💗 xo

PS: to whomever it may interest, the song is called Youth, by Daughter. I've already mentioned it in the book. I love it.