Alex needed to get back to her room.

She rushed past the guards who stood outside the Councillor's doors, waiting for her. She knew they would follow her regardless, but after talking to Treyan, she needed to be alone, and quickly.

All but running back to her quarters as fast as her body would allow, she shut the door as soon as she could and locked it behind her. Only once she was certain she would not be disturbed, Alex sat on the edge of her bed, held her head in her hands, and cried.

She cried for the first time in a long, long time.

Why? she had to ask herself.

Was it because Treyan truly believed aborting her pregnancy would fix everything? Or was it because she had once considered it a viable option?

Was it having to communicate with Treyan about the pregnancy in the first place? Or was it due to having to communicate with him at all?

It could have been all of it, or none of it whatsoever. Her hormones might be surging, but this time she was certain her reaction was legitimate.

Despite being surrounded, she'd never felt so alone.

Treyan was right. She didn't want to get married.

Some days she didn't even want to be the Empress anymore.

And the pregnancy...

She didn't want any of it.

There was no one she could talk to because she had pushed everyone away. No one had any idea what she was going through because she wouldn't allow them that satisfaction.

Day in and day out, she asked herself how long she could keep up the charade. And the answer always remained the same.

As long as she had to.

It was her predestined duty.

The Empire depended on her, and she made the promise to herself, ever since that first attack—ever since she met the little boy, Cairn—that she would do anything she could to keep it from happening again.

To do all she could to ensure there would be no more orphans.

No more death.

Not even her own unborn children.

Which brought her to the upcoming nuptials.

Initially, moving on as planned was as much her idea as it was the Councillor's. They agreed the people needed to see that everything was as it should be within the palace, especially since the added patrols along the Borderlands were causing concern among the Empire's surrounding villages.

She also knew that if anything was going to drag Reylor out of his snake hole of a castle, her impending marriage to Treyan would be a good place to start. The Betrayer would answer for his crimes against the Empire.

And against her.

Should Reylor show up on the wedding day, she would be waiting for him.

The preparations for the wedding happened like clockwork. For an event that was to be such a joyous occasion, Alex had little interest in the specifics and allowed the Councillor to handle the details. On the rare occasion, an unknown servant would seek her out to ask about flower preferences, or meal choices, or tapestry colors for the reception, but none of it mattered to her. Often, she'd consider sending them away to Treyan to make the decisions but quickly thought better of it.

All she needed to do was show up.

For the Empire's sake, she hoped Treyan would do the same.