Jan tells mum and Tony for me first. They both come in to the hospital to see me – I know it must be serious because Mum AND Tony have taken a week off work.

They pull up chairs beside my bed, and sit down. Tony looks as if he would rather be anywhere but here. I don't blame him, seeing as I feel exactly the same. I wonder to myself if this will be the most uncomfortable, awkward and embarrassing few minutes of my life so far.

More embarrassing than when the police came round to the house and tried to interview me about the blog? More embarrassing than being discovered lying in a pool of my own vomit and surrounded by sweet papers?

Well, I managed to wriggle out of the police interview and when Daniella found me I was unconscious as horrible as those experiences were, this one looks like it is going to top it.

My mum has this brave look on her face – a kind of 'we must get through this and we will!' look. I can't make things any easier for her because I can't be the one to start this conversation.

"So love," Mum starts. "Jan's told us what you told her."

"Bet you think I'm awful, don't you?" I burst out. I can't help it and I think now of my mum's opinion and how it is that I actually want her to love me and think I'm wonderful. "I don't know what to do," I add.

Tony clears his throat, still looking wildly uncomfortable. "Savvy love, we don't think you're awful. You've been going through a lot of... stuff, and we think you probably haven't been thinking straight for a while.

"There's a guy I work with–" Tony has gone quite pink, "and his little sister was an anorexic so he's talked quite a bit about her. She died last year because–"

"Tony!" my mother hisses, probably frightened about him talking about someone with an eating disorder dying.

"I don't have anorexia," I say, "even though I pretended I had it on that website."

I can tell from the look they share that they have looked up that pro-ana website and found the stuff I said on there, and the conversations I had with Ally904, Mali-minx and FatGirlThin. No wonder they both look so frightened.

"It's true," I say, "look at me."

And they both glance at my prone body quickly. I don't know if this reassures me or not. Jan said I'm thinner. Am I? I don't feel it.

"Anyway," Mum carries on bravely, "we want to help you with the food stuff first Savvy love – that's the most important thing. Getting you better from that and we will do all we can, won't we?" she nudges Tony and he nods.

I wonder about his colleague and I wonder what discussions Tony and all his macho workmates had with this guy. It's kind of difficult to imagine, but at the same time I find the idea of it sweet and comforting.

It's time for me to be brave.

"And what about the Mr A stuff?" I ask. "Is he in a lot of trouble?"

"Well love, he was suspended as soon as the school found out about your blog – suspended pending further investigations. I did speak to the police and I said you had said the blog was all made up. I was hoping we could leave it at that, but I'm afraid you'll have to tell them yourself love."

I nod. I had been hoping Mum's solution was going to work too, but I suppose I should have known it wouldn't. I think of all the stories there has been in the news over the years of teachers who have had affairs with pupils or people in authority positions who have done stuff with kids and you can see why the police feel they must check out everything properly.

And of course, at the end of the day – Mr A could lose his job. Because of me, because I liked writing about him and because I'm such a saddo I couldn't find any other way to get a boyfriend.

"When do I need to tell them?" I ask. Now that I've faced up to this, I want to get it over and done with as quickly as possible.

"Depends on how you're feeling love. Your recovery is the most important thing. I've had a word with the doctor and you can come out of here pretty soon, but she does reckon – er, she does think–"

Poor Mum. She is remembering how I reacted when Daniella visited me and suggested we go to a support group.

"She thinks I need to get some kind of treatment doesn't she?" I finish for her.

Mum nods relieved.

"Like what?" I say. I wish there was some kind of magical pill. A pill that made me thin, but at the same time made me not think about food. In fact, seeing as this is a magic pill and it can do every bloody thing, I wish it would make me pretty and popular, and I wish it would take away all of my problems too.

"Well, there's a lot of approaches," Mum says. "I've been chatting with the doctor-" I flash her a look of irritation, annoyed that they have been talking about me so much, though I guess it was to be expected.

Mum pretends not to see it.

"... and she can refer you to a specialist, a doctor who deals in these kinds of things. And then there is a support group, which you can go to voluntarily. But only if you want Savvy. And Tony, Ben and me will do all we can to help, we promise Savvy."

There are tears in her eyes as she says this. Well, there are tears in mine too.

"OK," I say. "I'll come home if I can and can you come with me to the police station?"