"Please universe, just let this work once."

That was the fourteenth try at making pain medication. It was probably yet another step towards being thrown in the slammer, but I know what I'm doing when it comes to medicine. I was in all of the biomedical classes in highschool.

The machine stopped whirring, though a similar sound continued to buzz in my head because of the generator on my right. I took a shallow tray out of the new steel machine that sat on the wooden-slab-for-a-desk in front of me, which had been filled with white, powdery pills. I set it back down as I unenthusiastically marveled at them.

"These better be the ones or I'm going to throw a fit."

The singular dim bulb above me flickered and died as the boxy machine powered down from being left idle. It was a nice day, yet I stuck myself inside. That wasn't new. I looked out of the window with no pan into the wilderness. It was nothing interesting but it helped me calm down. I've been in a working mode ever since three this morning. I tapped my phone that laid on my left, and the face powered on. I was greeted by a stupid photo taken by my friends as my wallpaper.

The photo was from high school, probably junior year back in 2017. I remember it. Trevor and Sage stole my phone and snapped a picture before I could grab it back during study hall. I was studying for finals.

They sat across one of the library tables from me, giggling, and then Trevor finally struck first like a damn viper. He snapped the photo and held it away from me, making all three of us get out of our seats. Curse my short body, he just held it up high enough that I wouldn't be able to reach it, the asshole. I say that with love, I could barely breathe from laughing. Cackling like idiots afterward, Trevor and Sage were the ones that managed to get told off by the librarian. It was the same annoying shit every time: "It isn't very polite to be so loud where other people are studying". They were being threatened to be kicked out of the library when we were the only ones there. I swear teachers are smart but stupid... at that point they'd known us for three years and knew Sage and Trevor are utter dumbasses when they're mixed. Out of all the classes, "Oh yeah let's put 'em in study hall together!" However, it was their way of making me laugh for a change that week.

Out of everyone who lived here on the property, I knew Sage and Trevor the longest. Then came Landon and Dylan. I know the rest, yes, but I never feel like actually getting to know them. Is that wrong?

I couldn't help but shiver as a chilly breeze flew through the shed. It snapped me out of spacing out, and I caught myself staring at a family of deer. One doe, one buck, and one fawn. They were quite adorable! It wasn't like I'd go over and hug them to death if I could, though. Was that normal? It was two in the afternoon, now.

Realizing I forgot an actual container for these pills, I prepared to search. I jumped as a voice radiated through the room like sun rays.

"Hello, Mr. Livimore."

I sighed. I turned over my shoulder, surveying the room. No one was there— awesome. I sighed,

"You can just call me Mewan, you know."

I walked, which revealed to my eyes and my eyes alone a long, narrow cave that was eerily lit by white, black-speckled crystals. I glared at the robotics as it exclaimed a dirty chuckle. As I walked deep into the decline of the cave, a small shiver ran up my spine as a cold, bitter water droplet plodded my blue sweater. The subterranean air flowed behind my neck and between my legs, curious and playful. My nostrils filled with an earthy smell, a hint of warm metal detectable. My heart paused as I hastily looked back up the narrow branchwork from which I came. I checked for shadows— there was not even a soul to be seen. I looked back at the room.

"Listen, is it alright?"

"You did it perfectly, Mewan. It'll work."

I glanced to my feet as I walked, unsure, still. I scanned the room and found plastic bags, tucked away between two scraps of metal. I snatched one, and it was ripped. Just my luck. I grabbed another from the deck and used it.

I turned to see a machine which appeared as a capsule shape, with tinted glass encompassing the middle of it. The nose was as solid a metal as the base, both being made of steel. Copper snakes of wires were sprawled across the ground, all leading to a control table that was behind a thick wall of stone. I don't know how I managed to create something as complicated as this. It still astounds me. As I walked past it and advanced to the mouth of the cave, I heard,

"To be honest, I think it's okay to take it home."

I couldn't tell if I was having a stroke or if I was hearing by that correctly. I went with it.

"You think? I don't have to do any... testing?"

"What testing would you do? See if it smashes to bits if you throw it against the wall?"

I shrugged.

"You do have a point."

I reached the top and turned back to the tray of pills. I carefully dumped the tiny abominations into the bag, though a few managed to leap away like tree frogs. I edged to the doorframe. I felt like I was doing something wrong. No tests? Not like I tested the others but I never took them to the base. I stepped out and it felt like I touched fire. My back tickled with the unnervingly loud scream that surged from my nerves. My conscience was wailing. I stepped both feet out. There.

"Are you sure I won't get arrested for this?"

No response except for a door slamming into my face. Great.
___________________________

"What if it was more like-"

I made random guitar noises that sounded decent. I think. Nothing was written down, we were just hoping random stuff would sound good together. I sat there with my knees tucked into my chest as Trevor stared at me with the weirdest face ever. He tried to be nice about it but it was obvious that it was a complete no.

"Eh, that doesn't really fit the rest of the album, y'know?"

I shoved my face into my knees as I whisper-croaked,

"I think this is writer's block and I hate it."

"I'm having an everything-is-blocked-out-of-my-head block."

I lifted my head to look at Brody, who was on the other side of the couch. He was holding his head with his right hand as he leaned against the side, typing on his phone. He wore a coral-orange t-shirt and cargo shorts, and he was one of the only blonds I knew aside from my sister's friend. He'd always been pale and had a bigger build, despite being the calmest out of the three of us. A gentle giant, if you will. I couldn't tell whether it was me or Trev that was the most chaotic.

The three of us were sitting in my living room, or, our living room. It's complicated. I sat in a comfy brown lounger closest to the door while the brothers sat on opposite ends of the sofa. Brody has had this never-ending headache that wouldn't stop for the past few days. I hoped he wasn't getting sick— I felt bad for the guy. I asked him,

"Do ya' want something for it?"

He glanced at me through the sunglasses... that he for some reason always wore inside. Quickly looking back at his phone and typing, he muttered,

"It's fine, I don't need anything."

Trevor butted in, concerned as well. Brody gently smiled at his phone as Trevor went on,

"You said that like twenty minutes ago. Get something."

Brody powered off his phone and lazily put his hands up as innocent.

"Okay, fine. I can guarantee you it's because of the weather."

"That doesn't matter, you should still get—"

I stood up and stretched, cutting off Trevor.

"I got it."

I shoved my hands in my pockets as I walked around the lounger and down the hall. I turned left into the bathroom, fighting back a hiss as my bare feet planted on the cold tile. I looked into the mirror and grimaced— quickly shaking it off and opening the hidden cabinet.

Advil, Tylenol, Motrin... or nothing. Damn it.

Trevor's rambling was the only noise in the moment as I cursed myself out in my head.

"Yeah, it has been pretty stormy recently. Ain't it usually though, in the middle of September?"

Peeking around the doorframe, I joked,

"Unless toothpaste has some crazy secret like my ex, I think I'm going to check with Mewan if he's got any Advil or something."

Brody looked back at me in amused confusion. I continued as I walked toward the door, down the squeaky floorboards.

"You guys can stay here, I'll be back."

I slipped on my brown sneakers— without socks— which felt weird to say the least, but I wasn't going to be gone for long. It was only a five minute walk or so. Trevor giggled.

"Sage. I promise me and Brody won't get attacked by ducks while you're gone for ten minutes, tops."

I stood back up and grabbed the doorknob. I didn't want to leave, really.

"I'm just saying."

I opened the door, and halfway out the other side I heard Brody scoff.

"Where did the ducks come from?"

I shut the door. Well, now what? The chilly September breeze glided along my jacket, ruffling my dark brown hair. I ducked and bounced forward a few steps. It felt like someone touched me. It freaked me out. I'd learned through college that I do not like being touched on the head. Anywhere.

I stubbornly zipped up my hoodie, consciously trying to spite the wind. Walking along a dry dirt path, dust kicked up and clouded behind my feet. I stared at the path, ignoring the nature around me and locking myself in my own head. Figures. It always happens, and I'm conscious of it too. The gentle tapping of my soles on stone gently poked my ears as the path came to transition into something man-made. Just like the noise: "click, click, click", my brain did the same. I decided I'd give it a try. Try doing what my therapist mentioned while I had him.

I stopped.

"Take a minute to breathe,"

I forgot my meds this morning..

"Tell yourself three things you can see,"

It might've been for panic attacks or whatever, but it still helped. The lush, green trees around me were the most obvious. They sprouted and branched off just as much as their roots would. Many of the leaves were heart-shaped. Individually, there were slightly-off-colored shades of lime with a twinge of yellow, and others with a shade that belonged on pines instead.

Below the trees were bushes that looked like mini trees of their own. Some grew white flowers with petals that looked like blades, and others had furry, reddish buds on them. Some were prickly and some weren't.

Finally, what stood triumphant at my feet surrounding the path were wild grasses. Each blade swayed calmly with no fear, no matter how small they were. It was like an army ready to charge. At the same time, there were dandelions that littered the area. They were small little puffs, and others were like platters of gold. Clovers, twigs, and dead leaves were scattered.

"...then two things you can hear,"

Birdsong and the gentle brushing of leaves. Small, naïve chirps poked me from all angles— soaring above and sometimes at my sides. Occasionally, I heard rustling in distant bushes made by chipmunks and squirrels.

"...then one thing you can—"

I grunted as I walked face first into a wooden pole. It was the bottom anchor of the deck steps, which belonged to a large building that laid in front of me. If I were anyone else, I probably would have ran off thinking I was about to be shot for trespassing. I chuckled at myself as I walked up, careful not to trip on my own sweatpants. Ten minutes goes by fast once you zone out enough, I guess.

I gently closed the framed glass door behind me and slipped my shoes off, mindful not to drag any dirt along before I got any further. It was quiet, oddly. Usually Nathan was running around with Muffin, annoying someone while they begrudgingly continued their everyday tasks. I walked past the couch, turning right down the hallway. After jogging down another one, I decided that if Nathan wasn't going to be the annoying one, then I would be.

"Memey! Can you please give me some Advil again?" I asked in the most pretty-princess-iest voice I have ever made. No response. I resorted to knocking on Mewan's door for an absurdly long time, enough for a phantom plank of wood to stubbornly stick to my knuckles even after I had stopped. A small pain seeped into my left forearm, the memory bleeding throughout my head and lightly spoiling my joyful facade.

Distant stomps across the wood floor faded once Mewan finally opened the door, grumpily reminding me "not to call him that". His deep blue irises were hidden behind half-shut eyelids, and he looked like he was capable of passing out into REM sleep at any second. His black hair was ruffled, and the usual fluff of hair that stuck out above his forehead in self-defense 24/7 was deflated and sad. I thoughtfully leaned on the doorframe, hoisting one arm on my hip as I grabbed the frame with the other. I chuckled,

"Gets ya' to open the door though, don't it?"

"What do you want?" He spat coldly. I decided to cut the bit and get the point so he could go to sleep.

I bluntly repeated, "Brody's got a headache." I glanced at my jacket pocket as my phone vibrated, nagging at my brain. Dragging my attention back to Mewan, he groggily ran a hand through his hair. He recalled,

"Didn't he have one yesterday?"

I gnawed at my thumbnail in a familiar boredom with the need to flee. "Yeah, why? Do ya' not have any more?"

Instead of answering, he reached behind and grabbed a plastic bag off his desk. He growled, "Take it," and shoved it into my chest.

As I caught the pills, I stammered out, "Oh, Thanks. Sorry about—"

—the door was slammed in my face before I could finish. A pinch of anger flared in my throat to yell, but I held my tongue. I walked five feet away before I couldn't help but angrily mutter to myself,

"Alright then, damn!"

I ripped a glare away from the door, and instead focused on the bag as I began to walk. There were white pills inside, and I noticed that a few had some gray splotches mixed in as if they were tie-dyed. I've never noticed that in other pills before. It must be a different brand. I was about to take a few out to have a closer look when I bumped into a blob of green. The rare, socially anxious side of me decided to show himself, apparently. I think his head did the same thing.

I've known Landon for a while, but we just never get to talk to each other. We're always busy, I guess. It's not like we have similar interests either— all he did was somewhat save my life when I was drunk during a college party. Trevor is closer with him than me. It's a little sad that after two years, we're still at the "how's the weather" stage.

We stared at each other for a moment, muttering our apologies for stepping into each other's way. We both turned to leave, and coincidentally in the same direction. Great. More awkwardness. He's probably assumed that I'm a drug-addict by now, with how often I complain that my prescription does next to nothing some days. It's like another person I know, except I've known her my whole life. I haven't talked to her in some time, but I know my mom feels that way. Everytime I bring up anything related to mental health with her, she has a tone in her voice that makes me want to throw myself in a garbage can.

Landon broke the silence first as we walked down the barren, dusty hallway together.

"Where are you goin'?"

Small talk always strikes me by surprise.

"Oh, I was going to grab a cup of lemonade before I went back to the house," I painfully explained. "You?"

"Getting hydrated."

I couldn't help but force myself to choke down a wheeze. I don't know him well at all, but I know for a fact he definitely went for the right major. You'd be able to tell right away that he was a science guy just from the way he talks and what he considers "humor". He has such a large vocabulary that I can't decipher what half of his sentences mean.

We walked back into the room I first entered, which we all agreed to dub "The Room Next to the Stairs", or as some like to say, the "RNS", and turned into the kitchen. Landon went to the left side, which held all the cabinets with cups, and I went to the fridge. One glance and I was disappointed. I demanded,

"Where is Nathan's lemonade?"

"I haven't made any."

I turned around and saw a bat flying in the middle of the archway, holding a muffin by the foot with his claws. A shorter, teenage girl peeked around the edge. I whined,

"Aw, man. Your lemonade's really good."

Landon turned around with a full glass of water, and we both watched in awe as a blood-colored dust cloud was summoned around the bat as it shifted back into its human form: Nathan. It's a little disgusting to see his silhouette being contorted, and to not completely understand what was happening to his anatomy when he did this, but it was satisfying at the same time. Apparently he doesn't feel a thing. Nate launched the muffin, creatively named Muffin, into the air, and just as the dust faded away, Mr. Pastry landed perfectly into his palm. Muffin sarcastically remarked,

"I didn't fall on the floor this time!"

I gently clapped in applause, catching a glimpse of Landon's confused, logical brain being visibly captured on his face. The reality was that teenage Nathan was a vampire. He goes out into the forest to feed off wildlife instead of feasting on us. I found it crazy cool. However, Landon, being the biochemistry-wired nerd that he is, cannot comprehend how it is physically possible— because it really isn't. That's why it's called magic, I guess. I've had multiple debates about whether magic is real or not with Trevor, and Landon usually just spectated and occasionally agreed with me.

Nathan had dull indigo eyes and short, black hair with gray streaks. He was of course really pale, and was always forced to wear long sleeves and jeans. He rarely wore any other shoes apart from the pair of comfy, black boots Mewan had gifted to him for his birthday a few years ago. Nathan, out of the two siblings, was the hyper one, and he'd always been protective of his twin sister, Willow, and cynical of everyone for as long as I've known him.

Willow hopped out from behind the wall, seeing the perfect time to poke fun at Nathan. Willow had bright pink eyes and long, thick, black hair that covered her ears and ended behind her thighs. She always wore this large, purple scarf and dull blue sweater. Behind her, as she came into view, was a fluffy, black wolf's tail that ended in silver. Yes, they are a werewolf and a vampire duo. Ironic, we know. She was holding a beaten up, old tophat with a pink bow that they had shared ever since they showed up here. Willow assured Landon,

"Trust me, I've already questioned my life so many times because of this lunatic."

As Nathan stood up straight, he yanked the tophat away from Willow and sat Muffin inside of it. He elbowed Willow as he playfully scoffed,

"Seriously?"

I warned, "Guys, we don't need a repeat of Twilight."

"It's already happened before!", Muffin reminded me. Muffin was an interesting case. He was, well, a literal muffin— cinnamon flavored if I remember correctly. He had arms and legs just like one of us, a stubby straw that was poked directly through the top of him, and cinnamon jam that leaked out from the puncture and rolled down the sides. He was very polite toward us adults, but when it came to Nathan and Willow, he was just like them.

I rolled my eyes at their craziness and turned to leave, beginning to fish my phone out of my pocket to see what the vibrating was about. Nathan stepped after me and asked, almost pleading,

"Wait, where are you going?"

That was a first. Usually he never wanted me to stay. Nothing has ever happened between us, but I thought I was always considered an extra benefit to him. I looked back at the kitchen.

"Back to my place?"

Nathan poofed back into bat form as he asked, "Can me and Muffin come with you? Willow is going to be crazy annoying." Muffin agreed. Willow, witnessing the conversation first hand, retorted,

"Flip that around, idiots."

Sensing the tension, but at the same time wanting to get home as fast as possible, I corrected, "Uh, that would be a no," but Nathan insisted still. Muffin squeaked,

"We won't be annoying, pinky promise."

"Maybe some other time? We're watching shows that ya' probably shouldn't watch. Y'know. A lot of blood."

I lied through my teeth. I didn't feel like having anyone but Brody and Trevor, let alone a kid in the house right now. Nathan gave me a look like I just asked him what one plus one equaled. Or what color the sky was. It was obviously orange. He scoffed,

"Says the one talking to a vam—"

He was cut off by the force of Willow's hand grabbing his bat form in the middle of his comeback. As she grabbed the hat from Nathan's claws, she scolded,

"You guys gotta learn to accept no."

I couldn't help but let out a bit of a snort as Willow dragged Nathan back into the shadows of the hallways. Nathan's muffled bat screaming echoed— and through the midst of most of it, Muffin was completely silent. I looked back at Landon, who was still pretty baffled by the three kids. Feeling the awkward silence beginning to rise, I quickly slipped my shoes on and waved.

"See ya' later, Lan-man!"

As soon as the door shut behind me and I took the first breath of woodsy air, I felt my lips curl as I cringed at my own anxiousness. Who the hell is saying "Lan-man" to Landon, a guy I barely know. Oh, the wonders of my frazzled head.

As I followed the stone path once more, I finally pulled out my phone. Eight notifications from the person I suspected it to be— Brittney. As I opened my phone, I couldn't help but smirk at the spams she sent after I didn't answer her daily question from this morning— when I was still asleep. It was something about which outfit looked better on her, since she goes on her morning jogs at seven.

I still haven't told Brittney about what me, Trevor, and Brody are doing with our band. She doesn't know that Start The Beat even exists. I feel sort of bad for leaving her out of it, but she gets a little possessive. That's the reason we broke up the first time, anyway. Then again, I haven't told Brody and Trevor that me and her are back together, either. A lose-lose scenario for each. How fun. The texts from Brittney were two photos of her in different outfits, followed up with:

How does this look?

Baby, the 1 or the 2 one?

I gotta start in like 5 min.

Also we should totally plan a date this week!

Sage I know you rn't still sleeping in its 9.

R u ok? Answer.

It was all nice, until I saw the two most recent messages from just a few moments ago. Those read:

Sage r u ghosting me again.

Did u find someone else? U were so desperate for anyone to be there for u that I took pity on u this time and now this is wht u do? Wow. Good luck.

I stopped in my tracks on the trail. I couldn't help but begin to panic. The sudden tsunami of terror made my arm's arching feel like a prod with a pillow. I replied to her:

Brittney I've had my phone on silent all day I'm sososososososo sorry. I've been hanging out with Brody and Trevor all day and it's been charging in my room all day since I fell asleep with it last night. I'll make sure to check my phone more.

I sighed a sigh of relief, happy to hit the send button. Nothing but a "read" receipt. I continued:

What about Tuesday or Wednesday in town? We could grab dinner or see a movie if you want :) Also I like 2 better.

After hitting send, I continued walking. My face was still glued to the screen. Brittney quickly responded,

Tuesday dinner works! Love you, tree-hugger.

So you're a tree now.

Would you still love me if I was a tree?

Ofc baby :)

You'd kiss me like you kissed that tree on our first date?

That was accidental.

Sure, weirdo. Still jealous.

I left it at that. I didn't feel like explaining myself again. No one else knew and no one else had to know of the horror that was college me— at least as a freshman. It was over a year ago. I used the leftover adrenaline in my arteries to jog the rest of the way back. The wind flying past my hair felt nice now, the way it dived past like I was wearing a helmet. It didn't feel like I was being touched, but evaded.

I ran over the door and through the living room, loudly singing,

"I got the drugs!"

I caught myself on the opposite wall as I looked back at the seats, and both of the Comneer brothers stared back at me with visible amusement. Sitting down on the couch next to Brody, now that Trevor had stolen my original seat, I plopped the bag of pills from Mewan onto the coffee table in the center next to three water bottles. Brody chuckled,

"Welcome back, I guess."

"Thanks. No ducks in sight, good job," I deadpanned as I handed Brody two pills and a water bottle. Trevor's freckled face scrunched as he saw them. He halted Brody as he timidly asked,

"Are you sure these are the right pills?"

"Why wouldn't they be?"

"Dunno'. I got that feeling again. Why are they in a bag?"

I raised an eyebrow and shrugged, simply looking away from Trevor and looking at Brody expectantly. I felt a glare pierce the air and make sharp contact with my temple. Brody held the two pills in his hand as he twisted the bottle cap off with a satisfying snap. He sternly tried to affirm.

"So am I taking these or not."

I nodded, "Yeah, go ahead. They're fine." I glanced back at Trevor, trying to discern his concern. They were just pain pills, nothing like hard drugs. As I thought, my arm sent a pang of aching up my nerves. With a small hesitation, I caved and grabbed two pills for myself as well. Trevor visibly tensed up as I did, getting defensive. He always did that.

"What's wrong with you, now?"

"My arm, again."

As Brody threw the pills in his mouth, he playfully scoffed, "Dumbass," and gulped a swig of water. I elbowed him as he swallowed, earning a smirk out of him. Trevor found no hilarity in the subject.

"You need to listen to the engineer when he tells you to cut away from yourself when you're using a damn box cutter."

Starting out lighthearted but slowly getting less sure, I explained, "Listen, listen, Dylan is usually a bit..." I paused, trying to find words. "Paranoid? I mean, I love the guy and everything but he needs to chill out."

"Fair enough, but still. You could've stabbed yourself."

I half-heartedly wheezed and sarcastically bellowed, "Woah, really?" To Trevor's discontent, I pulled back my left sweatshirt sleeve to show the gauze wrapped around my forearm. The clean white had been worn by the day, slowly getting a bit dustier every twenty-four hours. Trevor glared. I continued, "It's like I had to go to the hospital."

Brody extinguished the fire that was starting to ignite. "He means, like, accidentally stabbing yourself in the chest."

"Well, couldn't you still bleed out from something on your arm too?" I redirected. I grabbed a water bottle as Trevor admitted,

"You'd have to ask Mewan. I don't know anything about the body."

"I'm not walking back there again," I said harshly. I wanted to get off the subject.

I observed the pills once more, still curious as to how they got their tie-dyed look. Trevor insisted,

"I wouldn't take those."

"What's wrong with it? Are they haunted?"

"I don't know, but something bad's going to happen."

"Come on, ya' know I don't believe in that bullshit. They're fine."

The two of us stared at each other, equally frustrated. Out of pure spite, I swallowed the pills, and for extra bonus points I chugged the whole water bottle in one go. Neither of us let up eye contact. We were both determined to keep our egos. Brody, silently fed up with our petty antics, snapped his fingers and asked,

"So are we done here and turning the TV on? There's a game on."

Trevor forfeited first, and leaned back in his chair. He looked away, clearly still salty as he grabbed the remote and pressed the power. I rolled my eyes and stood up, walking into the kitchen on our left. I yelled,

"If we're doing that I'm grabbing pretzels."

Brody looked toward me as I opened one of the cabinets.

"Do we at least have barbecue chips this time?"

"Yeah."

__________
5213 words :]