Jeon Jungkook found himself in a wedding.

In the fucking wedding of this guy he had worked with for a few times and Kim y/n, whoever she was.

When you left the place, Jungkook was broken. He saw you leave his home as his tears fell. He was angry at you, but more than you he was angry at himself. Why couldn't he just stop thinking about who he preferred to fuck instead of who he actually loved?

He moved away from the window and started walking towards the bed but his foot caught into something. Your fem boxers.

He picked them up and was about to throw them in the bin when the whiff of that flowery beautiful scent stopped him.

"That's..." he mumbled. He was at a lack of pronouns but his heart didn't even need any. It ached for you already.

He went back to his bed and thought about it. About you. Your smooth beautiful skin, your perfect curves and the way you had moaned when he touched you there...

He could've ignored everything and told you it was okay, he could've ignored the whole fucking world, told Saera and Sungmin to find some other damned place to bicker, ignored the fact that you were a woman biologically and just buried himself so deep inside you.

How bad could it have been? He kissed you and he loved it. He could kiss those lips knowing you were biologically a woman. He could kiss you all day... and just like that he started craving your lips again. And when looked down he realised he had a hard on.

He took a shower and thought of you. He cooked himself a dinner and you were on his mind. He slept and kept dreaming of you until he was about to go crazy. That's when he decided to go to the club. He kept drinking until he pushed your thought to the very back and when a guy told him to get into bed with him, he was ready. But then he saw you there again, said things he wasn't sure he really meant and pushed you away once more. He went to look for you but only could get a glimpse of you being taken away in a car. He pretended he didn't care and came back to the room where the guy was waiting but he was unable to do it. Nothing about the man in front of him turned on. No man turned him on any more.

As a last resort he decided to go back to his hometown, to his parents' home. Which was now only his mother's. Maybe going back where all of his traumatic past happened could get him out of the present he lived in.

He remembered his childhood when until the age of eight his parents were happily living together. Then one day his mother brought another guy and told his father she wanted him to explore his sexuality... simply meaning she wanted a threesome. Jungkook's father was a simple man and he ran for the hills when he heard it.

His mother lived with this man she had brought and he sexually abused both him and Saera but his mother never listened, until that guy left them for good. His mother brought home more random guys and women who did the same thing over and over to both the kids when their mother was not around. But their mother was too hung up on the idea of finding her own fantasy she never cared about them. So he learned taekwondo to protect himself and his sister.

Some years later she found a guy who loved her and respected her, and he didn't treat Jungkook and Saera like the others did. Everything was perfect until his mother again tried to have another man involved. By the morning the two guys fell in love with each other and bid his mother good bye. That's when his mother finally decided to stop her chase and get settled. With a tree.

His mother found out that she was actually a dendrophile and married a tree. She strictly told them to call the tree "dad" and to respect her decision.

And when Jungkook went back to Busan, she told him that he wasn't capable of loving someone with feminine anatomy so he should stop trying.

Jungkook knew his mother wanted him to stay away from girls because it would bring her line of perfumes for gay men (that Jungkook modelled for) crashing down but he still decided to listen to her. He decided to just forget about you and move on but it wasn't happening. You stayed on his mind every single fucking second. With every breath he remembered your eyes, your lips, your smile, your skin, your hair, your hands... you.

His manager made him attend random events because in the ring he had become a monster, receiving his opponents on legs and sending them away on stratures and this wedding was one of those 'random events'.

Jungkook was sitting there miserably in the hall, waiting for the ceremony to end. He saw Seokjin, your brother move towards the altar and get in conversation with the groom. He wondered if you were there in that wedding too and a little curious side of him made him look around and see if he could spot a small boy in a tux but he couldn't.

Damn it, after all this you were still his baby boy.

The chatter in the hall died down as they announced the entry of the bride. He wasn't interested so he didn't look back like the other desperate people around him. The bride walked ahead, holding hand with someone who seemed like a weak old man.

The bride walked up to the stage and read her vows. Jimin did too. And then she turned around to kiss him. She looked familiar, he thought. Why did she look so...

"Kim..." he gasped as he stood up and everyone in the hall looked at him, the bride and groom did too and that's when your eyes locked with him.

His heartbeat stopped for a while.

The thing he had dreaded the most before you told him about yourself was happening right in front of his eyes, but you weren't wearing a tux like he had imagined you. You were in a white dress.

"Please sir, sit down" one of the managers told him and he sank back into his seat, his mind still with you.

"You may now kiss the bride" he heard them up there but your eyes were locked with his and you couldn't move. He knew that.

Jimin leaned in and pecked you lightly on your lips and the crowd cheered but you kept looking at him and he was looking back at you. He was mesmerised at how beautiful you looked, and he wondered what Jimin must be feeling as a straight guy who just got married to you.

He must be ecstatic, he must be on cloud nine.There in front of him is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, even I want her in this moment, how can he not? He's going to touch her tonight, he will be the one drowning in all the pleasure that could've been mine only if...

Only if what? He questioned himself.

He envied Jimin in that moment. He envied him so much. He wished that was him there holding you, kissing you, receiving congratulatory messages from friends and family. He wished he was the one taking you home tonight, making sweet love to you for the rest of his life. Touching that little baby bump on your stomach few months later... feeling the miracle he could create growing safe and happy inside the woman he loved...

He so badly wanted all those things and he though his heart would literally stop with desire for things he had never wanted before.

For something other than just empty pleasure.

A/N:

Fam,

We're near :)

Also i was so effed up with life I forgot to include these covers in the book I'm so sorry my talented babies I should've done this earlier 😭😭😭😭

Tysm @acupoftaewithakook81 😍😍😍😍

Tysm @the_fuckin_duck 😍😍😍😍