A/N: This chapter may get a bit homo and has such references too and you need to have an open mind to read this otherwise the chances of you regretting reading this chapter are 125% {also because there is a BIG cliff hanger at the end} so um... you can skip it but please I don't want any hate in the comments towards anyone. We all are humans and we all deserve to be respected. and please understand that it's a story and I am supposed to write all the parts no matter how they are 😖

"Bro, hey! Wake up" someone shook your shoulder and you opened your eyes to see Namjoon's tall figure standing over you. You had fallen asleep in the couch holding your father's hand.

"hyung.." you murmured, rubbing your eyes and looking up at him.

"I'm glad you're back kido" he pinched your cheek and hugged you "but you need to get some rest. Yoongi is already here and hoseok will be coming too. Let me take you home baby"

"I- I need to go and..." you mumbled incoherently.

"Come on," he helped you get up and walk out.

"Namjoon. Where's the plastic surgery department of this hospital?" you asked him after some thought.

"I think it's near the burns unit. They put it on the map in the lobby... wait a minute, y/n?" he turned towards you and held your hand, looking at you in confusion.

"I want a g-gender reassignment surgery..." you told him, looking downwards. It was breaking your heart to say that. You loved your body though you never said it out loud. You were completely comfortable in it even when you wore compression bras and baggy clothes to hide your figure and appear boyish.

"It's about that jerk, isn't it?" Namjoon asked.

"It's the only way. The only way he would accept me..." a tear rolled down your cheek but you were too pre occupied to address it.

"What the fuck y/n? How can you say this? Do you even know what you're talking about?"

"You said you would support me..." you looked up at him.

"I would. If you felt uneasy with your body or if you wanted this for yourself but you don't! You want to do it for some dude who probably wouldn't want you even if you grow a dick and what then? What are you going to do?"

"He would if I just... I'm going to do it. Maybe I don't want this but I'll do it"

"It's not a fucking joke! I won't let you!"

"I don't need your approval! I'm going to the department, get it done as soon as possible..."

"Okay. Listen to me. Calm down. Have you talked to Jungkook about it?"

"No"

"Do you know how he'll feel about this?"

"No"

"Then just go talk to him first. Please. Think about how you would feel about it. I'm not going to ask you to think about dad or how he's suffering already but please do think about yourself"

"I don't wanna waste anymore time..."

"Please. Take my keys. Talk to him first, okay?" he handed you the keys and you decided to listen to him again. You rushed out to take his car and drive it to Jeon mansion.

The guards told you that Saera had left for Busan and Jungkook wasn't home either. You stood out there thinking about what to do. You didn't even know Jungkook's new number. Then as if an epiphany, it hit you.

Mikrokosmos.

You drove to the notorious club and went running inside. The guard didn't stop you because he thought you were going to see Jungkook again.

Once inside, you looked around, desperately searching for him. You saw him sitting on a couch at he back of the club. But he wasn't alone. There was an extremely skinny guy wearing a crop top and tight leather pants sitting in his lap.

The guy whispered something in his ear and he smiled, nodding a yes to whatever it was. Your blood pressure shot up seeing him all cheerful and flirty... as if nothing had happened. Maybe it meant nothing to him, you thought.

The guy got up from Jungkook's lap and headed towards a staircase that led to the private rooms at the floor above. You hurried towards them but they were already gone, and the guard standing at the bottom of the staircase stopped you.

"You need to show me a key to a room. People without bookings aren't allowed upstairs"

"I just need to see Jungkook"

"Oh everyone wants to see Jungkook" he rolled his eyes.

"Just let me...!!"

"Bring-a-key" he gave you a bitchy smile and stood erect again.

You looked around desperately, for help. Your smart mind made a plan right away but there was no one you knew so you just silently walked towards the dance floor and sandwiched yourself between a couple.

"Oh wow, this is surprising" one of them spoke, stroking your soft hair. You just hoped his hand wouldn't land on your chest or crotch.

"You guys up for a threesome?" you winked at the one in front of you.

"If you top us, sure" he replied.

"This is so exciting, I'm going to get a key!" he squeaked and rushed towards the reception. In less than five minutes you were walking up the staircase, sticking your tongue out at the guard.

Now the problem was, you didn't know which room Jungkook had gone into and the guys were practically dragging you to their room. Before they could push you inside their room and receive the biggest shock of their life, you looked back and saw Jungkook coming out of a door, a phone pressed to his ear.

"You guys go inside and I don't know, prepare yourselves..?"

"Yeah we'll be all prepped up for you" the guy winked and headed in after sliding the key. You hurried after Jungkook but he had already gone in so you knocked on the door.

"Do you mind dude?" the same guy you had seen downstairs opened the door and asked. He had discarded the shirt and was clad only in his boxers.

"where's Jungkook?"

"That's why I hate hot guys, they always have some random bitch or dude asking about them, like what the fuck? Jungkook!" he yelled.

"What?" an even more naked Jungkook appeared, stepping out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his lower body. 

"Jungkook..."

"I clearly told you to leave!" he said angrily as he came striding towards you and pulled you inside the room. 

"I- I have something to say..."

"What?" he snapped.

"I-" you looked at the guy " It's personal..."

"I don't wanna listen to anything!" Jungkook said.

"P-please..."

"Fine. You. Leave!" he told the guy.

"Are you for..?"

"SHUT UP!" Jungkook yelled at him and pushed him out of the room.

"Dude I'm only in my boxers!" he cried.

Jungkook closed the door on him and turned to you.

"Spit it out now!"

"I... Jungkook. I want to... I will undergo gender reassignment for you if you d-don't like me this way..."

He looked at you as if you had finally gone mad. Then he laughed a bitter laugh, still watching you.

"Do you even get how ridiculous you sound?" he asked you, wiping off a tear. 

"It's the last thing I can do to save our love..."

"It's of no use though. What would you become after the surgery? A trans? I respect all trans people but I'm not into them! Just like I respect women but I'm not into them. Why don't you get it? I-don't-want-you!"

"But you said you loved me..."

"I would... but I can't" he replied simply, avoiding your eyes.

That was it. The bare ugly truth.

You then just took a last look at his face. Those big round eyes, that cute nose, the perfect lips, that little scar near his cheek bone...

He doesn't love me.

It shouldn't matter.

But he's the first man I fell in love with... And he has thrown me away...

In that moment you felt something break inside you.

No.

No please no.

You literally felt it break and in that moment you just knew that you had become that bitter person you didn't want to be.

You walked out of the club with heavy steps and you continued walking. you kept walking without any specific direction in mind. just walking. you walked for some miles without stopping a second until you ran into someone's back.

The man turned around and held your arm.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

His voice was familiar. you looked up at him.

"Jimin" you smiled and passed out.