Beta(Johnny): Hey everyone! I'm Beta Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!

The gang ride down a hill in a shopping cart, with four fire extinguishers strapped to the sides. Upon crashing into the canyon below, the fire extinguishers explode, sending a white cloud over the horizon.

———

Beta(Johnny): Okay! First up, we got the most famous of famous! Bee Facial Treatment! You ready over there my two loyal subjects?!

Jeff and Luigi put a thumbs up, both of them were covered in honey. Beta nods and turns to the camera.

Beta(Johnny): Great to hear! Let's get started! Shall we?

He opens a jar of bees up letting them loose onto them both.

Jeff: Whoa...

Luigi:..Eh..heh..ok..looks good so far..

Beta(Johnny): Oh those bees..oh shoot..

The two immediately got worried and turn to Beta carefully as to not provoke the bees.

Luigi: W-What's wrong?..

Beta(Johnny): That's bad! Um..I accidentally released the wrong bees..the ones I was supposed release were just regular honey bees..but those?..weelllllllll...those are a special breed of bee, a crossbreed between the Giant Asian Hornet and the Africanized Bee..both very deadly insects..

Jeff & Luigi:

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Beta(Johnny): Okay..it's okay..don't freak out..if you freak out they can easily be pissed off and uh..well, sting you to death..

Jeff: What gave you that idea?!? That's terrible!

Beta(Johnny): Don't worry! You'll be fine! Just watch!

He splashes them both with honey and opens the containers, letting the hybrids fly onto them. Both the werewolf and the green plumber remain still, feeling all the tiny insect legs puttering around on their bodies.

Luigi: I don't like the sensation..

Jeff: Neither do I..

Johnny checks the box of the killer insects, his eyes widening..

Beta(Johnny): Uhh..well that's bad!

Luigi:W-What?..

Jeff: What's bad?..

Beta(Johnny): These fellas hate humans that big furry mustaches, green clothes and they especially HATE overalls..

Luigi:

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

The bees proceed to sting Luigi as he ran away, falling into a ditch and crying his eyes out.

Beta(Johnny): Well, at least you're safe Jeff..

Jeff: Thank god...

Johnny then checks more on the back on what these bees hate.

Beta(Johnny): As long as you don't have any facial hair..look like a bear..or have a severe allergy to silver, you should be safe! Uh..Jeff?..

Jeff was gone, leaving Johnny confused.

Beta(Johnny): Uh, anywho! Let's move on!

———

You continued through the maze, panicked and on the brinks of losing your mind.

Y/N: Cmon! THERE HAS TO BE A WAY OUT! R-Right?..

You look around more and more, banging on the walls and only running into a dead end.

Y/N: GOD DAMN IT! HELP! SOMEONE?!?- PLEASE!!

———

Meggy: Uh..did you hear that?..

Beta(Johnny): Hear what?

He asked, completely oblivious, Meggy's nerves were going off, fidgeting with her hands.

Meggy:..I think I heard someone..

Bob: It WaS pRoBaBlY jUsT tHe WiNd!

Beta(Johnny): Eh, you don't say..Okay! Now! Let's see! Our next stunt is the Tubby Toss!

Meggy, Luigi, Bob and Boopkins were in Teletubby onesies and a catapult was built on a hill.

Beta(Johnny): For this one, our four brave soldiers will climb aboard the catapult! And be launched all the way over the hills and far away! Where the large ass bowl of tubby custard awaits their arrival at the end! Will they land? Let's find out!

———

Mr Puzzles watches in shock..

Mr Puzzles: Wait, why are we reenacting the inappropriate behavior of that show?! I didn't approve of this!!

Staff: Yeah you did! You signed it here.

The staff shows Mr Puzzles the signature on the clipboard. He snatches the clipboard and saw his initials on the empty space below.

Mr Puzzles: What- I...don't recall doing that at all! There must be something going on here!

Staff: Well, it has your name written in ink.

Mr Puzzles grips the clipboard and watches in both worry and frustration.

———

Beta(Johnny): Now, go on ahead and see who makes it!

The four climb in, feeling nervous about the flight.

Luigi: I dunno about this...

Meggy: Are you sure this will actually work?

Beta(Johnny): Hah, I HAVE NO IDEA! Now, FIRE!

Boopkins: WAIT-

Too late, the catapult is triggered and launches the four of them forward over the hills and far away..

Where the teletubbies come to play. Thankfully they all landed in the custard.

Except Bob, he completely missed and broke his bones like a fidget popper.

Bob: Ow. My BoNeS....mY eGo.....

Beta(Johnny): Can't break it when you don't have it.

———

Beta(Johnny): Now, I know my own game. Time to play it fair. This time! I'll volunteer to this next one called The Cup Test!

*Insert crowd Le gasp*

Beta(Johnny): Yep! Now, in this thick layer of underwear I'm wearing right now, a few contestants are gonna come up and punch me right in the..well, the crotch! It'll hurt, probably won't have children after this stunt..

He laughed nervously before seeing a few people line up.

Beta(Johnny): Okay! Who's first?

Leggy hops up.

Beta(Johnny): Huh? How are you gonna-

She does a flip and kicks him right in the no no square, making him flinch.

Beta(Johnny): Oof-! okay! Wow..for a goomba, she packs a kick..but I'm still standing! Heh, who's next?

Next was Belle..

Beta(Johnny): Oh..boy..uh-

Belle then kicks Johnny square in the groin, making him whimper.

Beta(Johnny):...Ow...okay..that had some pain to
It..oof..

Belle: Nothing personal..just wanted to have some fun..

She leaves, next was Will.

Beta(Johnny): Oh dear god..

Will: BREAK BREAK!

Instead of kicking him, he punched him down there.

Beta(Johnny):

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Will: Hm. Is nice!

Johnny was on the floor, rocking in the corner..

Beta(Johnny): This was a terrible idea..

He felt a poke on the shoulder, he looked up to see who it was, and surprise, it was Jeff.

Jeff: Stand up..I want my turn..

Beta(Johnny): Oh come on! Can't we settle this over some burger?..

Jeff:..Tempting, but still.. that won't cut it! C'mon! Stand up!

Beta(Johnny): Ight...fine..make it quick..

He weakly stands up, and he gets a running start, and just like that, he kicked him so hard that his head flew right off his body.

Beta(Johnny): AAAAAAAAAHHAAHHAHAH-

He pauses the screen and looks at the camera.

Beta(Johnny): Oh, hey! Uh..if you have a minute. You mind doing a favor for me?..make sure to be awesom- oh wait you already are..huh! Well, good!

He falls back down and hits the dirt.

Beta(Johnny): My poor scrotums..they're broken...

———

Commercial Break!

Eggman: Hello you snooping little shits! Are you tired of being banned from Discord? Well not to worry! Now you can have 70 ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS! Come on down to Eggman's account salvation movement today! No payment required!

He puts a thumbs up with a smile at the end with a phone opened to discord.

———

Beta(Johnny): Hey..I'm Beta Knoxville..and welcome back to Jackass..

He strapped an ice pack over his pants, hoping it would help ease the pain he was experiencing at the moment.

Beta(Johnny): Now..for our next stunt..we made it to the snowy mountains..let's go sledding!

He jumps down a hill on a sled, as well did everyone else.

Meggy: Oh you're all gonna lose!

Bob: NoT bY tHe HaIrS oF mY oVaRiEs!

Saiko: When I win, you're all buying me KFC!

Ghosti: Eat my dualies assholes.

Mario: Mario is gonna beat your asses.

Skully: Erm..have fun!..

Everyone looked at Skully with a deadpan expression.

Skully: What?..

SMG3 then pelted a snowball at Skully's face.

Skully: Ow!

SMG3: You needed that.

Skully: I did not!

Beta(Johnny): SEE YA SUCKERS!

He passes by them, catching them off guard.

Desti: Oh that's bullshit!

Everyone takes off, sliding down the hill. Upon getting to the trees, Kate and Boopkins crash into the trees.

Kate: Ow..

Boopkins: Aw man..

———

SMG4: Sucks to be them!

Luigi: Luigi's gonna die!!!!

Tari: Don't worry Luigi, you'll be fine!

Luigi: O-Ok..

He slightly lightens up, Tari smiled sweetly but ends up getting trampled by an avalanche.

Luigi:.....Help me..

They continue sliding down the hill, Mr Puzzles steps out, angered.

Mr Puzzles: STOP! THIS ISN'T BEING AIRED-

He ended up getting ran over and being buried in snow.

Simon: I think the snow is freezing my nose!

He sneezes and causes himself to slide off a cliff.

Saiko: Hah, stupid..

She said smugly.

Beth: That wasn't nice, c'mon..

Beth then gets grabbed and pulled into a cave by a yeti.

Beth: HELP-

Ghosti grew concerned and wanted to turn back, but the snow was too slippery to stop.

Ghosti: Damn it..

He jumps off his ski and clings onto the icy mountain.

Ghosti: HEY! SHITHEAD!

The yeti turns around with Beth in its hand, roaring at him.

Ghosti: Back away from the inkling..

The Yeti flipped him off, which he didn't seem too proud of.

Ghosti: Oh, so you wanna go that route? Fine by me.

He grabbed an icicle and hurls it the Yeti's ass as it turned around to go into the cave.

Yeti: OH MAH ASS!

The beast falls down, rubbing its ass, Beth falls out of the grip and slides down, Ghosti grabbed her hand and they both slid down on their shoes together.

Beth: W-Wha- Ghosti?..

Ghosti: I've gotcha!

Beth smiles and looks at him..

Beth: I've got you too..

They both refocused and go down the hill, catching up to the others.

Will grabs a bottle of vodka and takes a drink.

Will: Ah, is good day to be drinking vodka!

Mr Puzzles: No..alcohol can't be produced on national tv!-

He falls face first in the snow.

———

Leggy was sliding down the hill, having the time of her life.

Leggy: Weeeeee!!!! ^w^

———

Skully: Uh, guys?! LOOK!

They all look to where Skully was pointing, seeing a large wall of ice ahead and a Johnny silhouette, they all scream and crash in.

Beta(Johnny):..so..how have you all been?..

Ghosti: Well..I'm better now..

Bethany blushed and looked away, smiling whilst holding his hand.

Beth: Ah...stop...my face can't handle this much..

Beta(Johnny): Heh..well! I can't say I'm surprised..but hey, at least we won't have to worry about the wall of ice moving! Just..carefully pry ourselves off..and we should be fine and not go over the messy cliff below..

Jeff: Okay..yeah..let's do it..

As they were about to, Axol saw someone coming.

Axol: Oh no..uh-

Leggy: Eeee!-

She gets bonked against the ice wall, shaking her head.

Leggy: Owie..

Everyone else went toppling down the cliffside.

Everyone:

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

———

Beta(Johnny): Hello everyone! I'm Beta Knoxville! And thanks for tuning in to Jackass!!

(So..Mr Puzzles didn't agree to this, wonder what happened..hm..)

........

......

(Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me!)