Sorry if this chapter is kinda bad. I didn't really know what to write cus the manga confused me and stuff. Plus i've been working on something different this past week so i wrote all of this today haha.

Enjoy

Btw it might be a little graphic

Pain. It was the one thing that came to mind. I could feel it, taste it, hear it, and smell it but could not see it. The thought of being lied to by the people that you trust most is a painful experience. Knowing that your whole life is a lie. It felt like something has been missing from my life now. My heart felt broken and shattered. Something important was missing and now I know that it is my memories.

I would give anything to have my real memories now. I didn't want to feel this way anymore. The darkness surrounded me again but in the distance there were glowing red eyes staring at me. They appeared not too long ago but it was starting to make me feel uncomfortable. More eyes started to appear around me watching my every move.

"Why am I being tormented?" I whispered.

Of course no one had answered me. I was all alone here in this dark abyss while darkness took over my soul. I didn't want to feel this way. I felt so....lost... It didn't feel right. All these negative emotions were consuming me making me feel even worse. I felt all alone and betrayed. Why does this feeling feel so familiar? Soon I was sucked into another vision.

A little girl was curled up in a tiny cage covered in blood and dirt sobbing. Blood covered her from head to toe, her clothes were tattered leaving only a few pieces left to cover her. Her hair was a mangled mess tied in knots. She rubbed her eyes wiping away the tears and looked out of the cage.

"When will I be let out?" She asked innocently to the man that stood guard outside.

"Silence!" He snapped.

She coward at the tone of his voice. Her mismatched eyes looked down in fear and also in disappointment. She let out a shaky breath as silent tears once again streamed down her face. She looked very young about five or six. Bruises and gashes covered her body mixed in with dirt. She was skinny, too skinny. You could see the outline of her bones in her face and hands. It looks as if she hasn't been fed in months. Her skin was ghostly pale looking like she was on the brink of death.

Footsteps were heard in the distance which made the young girl look up in fear. She coward to the deep depths of the cage not wanting to face the person approaching. A figure approached the room which she was held in.

"Let her out," A males voice ordered.

The young girl bit her lip as the cage door opened and was forcefully pulled out of it by the guard. She let out a yelp but her mouth was then covered by a large hand silencing her. She refused to look up at her captor but a pale hand reached out grabbing her chin forcing her to look up at him. She then gazed into the green snake like eyes of Orochimaru. A smirk was plastered on his face as he grabbed her wrist pulling her into the dark halls of his secret lab.

She let out a scream resisting him but it was futile. She was too small and weak to fight off the sannin.

"Hush child." He hissed.

"Why Orochimaru-nisan! Why must you do this! I trusted you!" She screamed.

"Because my dear Mariah, you're a very strong child."

That girl was me....another one of my missing memories. She was terrified as Orochimaru threw her onto a lab table strapping her to it. She began to thrash around the table wanting to break the binds but she was far too weak. I watched in horror as Orochimaru brought out the syringes and medical supplies placing them on another table. Orochimaru then gagged her attempting to silence her screams.

I was shaking. This is too horrific for a little girl. This is cruel.

"Now my dear Mariah, you know the routine. Stay still and this will be less painful."

He stuck a needle into her vein in her wrist injecting her with some kind liquid. He released the needle from her flesh then picked up a clipboard scribbling something down on it.

"Hm, seems to be a dud. It needs to be improved. Let's see what this one does."

"No!" She muffled from behind the gag.

"Shut up," Orochimaru growled as he smacked her across the face.

She whimpered but stayed silent. Orochimaru strapped her legs together and undid the ones binding her arms. He sat her up and made hand signs forcing her to stay still. I could see her struggle but the straps was too strong for her to escape. Orochimaru got out another needle then began to bring it close to her unique eye. She tensed, fear struck her. Just by looking in her eyes I could tell that she was scared for her life and wanting nothing but to escape. Even though she couldn't feel it, the needle was in her eye.

Her breath quickened along with her heartbeat. Orochimaru retracted the needle then placed it on the table and released the girl. For some reason she was exhausted and fell right off the table landing on the ground with a thud. Orochimaru showed no attempt of helping her up.

"Hm I guess it did work. It slowly numbs the body." He chuckled.

He walked over towards her grabbing her wrist then dragged her back to the cage that she was being held in. The last thing that I saw before I was back in the abyss was the tears that she was shedding. When I returned I noticed that I was also crying. I looked down at my arms seeing each scar from where the injections were. This has been my childhood? Being experimented on by Orochimaru?

"How did I manage to find happiness?" I questioned.

Suddenly a group of people stood in front of me. They were all smiling down at me as if I was welcomed.

"Who are they?"

I was brought back into another memory. Five figures sat on a roof in a circle. One was obviously me, other was the Kyuubi kid, another was the Uchiha, the older one was that Kakashi guy, and last was some girl with pink hair.

"Okay so let's introduce ourselves," Kakashi said.

"Like what should we say?" The girl asked.

"Well your likes, dislikes, goals, dreams, hobbies." He explained.

"You go first," She said.

"My name is Kakashi Hatake, my likes I have a lot, my dislikes I have some, my goals and dreams...... my hobbies well it's none of your concern." He explained.

"So all we learned was his name," The girl whispered.

"Next," Kakashi said.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto! What I like is cup ramen. What I like even more is when Iruka- sensei pays for my ramen. What I dislike is waiting 3 minutes for the ramen to cook. And my dream is to surpass the Hokage and to have the people of this village acknowledge my existence! Hobbies, pranks I guess." Naruto said messing with his head band.

The younger me rolled her eyes at his introduction.

 "Next," Kakashi said rubbing his head.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are lots of things I dislike and I don't really like anything and I can't really call it a dream. But I have an ambition; the resurrection of my clan and to kill a certain man." Sasuke said.

Everyone paled at his introduction while the younger me looked unimpressed.

 "And girl in pink."

"My name is Haruno Sakura. The thing I like is well the person I like is (giggles and looks at Sasuke with a blush on her face) and um my dream for the future (blushes at Sasuke). My hobby is *she giggles again*

"And your dislikes?" Kakashi questions.

"Naruto and Mariah!"

Naruto looks offended and sadden while I looked annoyed.

 "Alright you're the last," Kakashi said.

"I'm Mariah Kira, I like making the Chuunin scared by just staring at them, singing, drawing, I dislike a lot of things, mostly this village because they didn't help the people close to me when they needed it, my hobbies are drawing and training, and I don't have a dream." I said coldly.

I was back in the abyss once again. That was my team? Were they the ones who made me happy? There was a tug at my heart once again. My soul was slowly disappearing.

"What happened to my clan?"

I appeared in a place surrounded by fire. People were all coming out into the streets screaming while on fire or dying from enemy ninja. I saw silhouettes of ninja wearing cloaks running around killing everyone in their way. I looked up at the biggest house seeing a smaller version of me staring out the window with tears running down her face. I appeared inside the house to see Pein and Konan in front of who I guess are my parents.

 "Where's your daughter?" Pein asked.

"I don't know who you're talking about." My mother replied.

He then kicked her sending her a little aways while my father attempted to protect his family but was too weak and was tied up.

 "Where is the prodigy of your clan?" Pein repeated.

"I'll never tell you!" My father replied.

Pein grabbed his metal rod and stabbed my parents repeatedly. I watched as the blood oozed out of their wounds and mouth. They tried not to scream but they couldn't help it. My mother's blood curtailing scream running through my ears. One by one the rods went into their bodies and little me watched in horror.

 Konan appeared behind little Mariah trying to catch but she jumped in the air dodging her arms. Konan reappeared where she landed but she threw a kunai at her. Konan caught it and threw it back. It grazed her arms but landed on her feet in a crouching position.

"It seems like my partner has found her." Pein said.

"No!" My parents yelled.

Little me stayed calm and did some hand signs.

"Fire style fire wall Jutsu," She said.

Fire then came out of her hands and made a wall around her so that Konan couldn't get thru. The fire was blown away and she was pushed against a wall with a kunai to her neck. Chains were being cuffed to her hands and feet. They dragged her to where my parents were.

"Mariah!" My mother cried.

"There is no use for you two anymore. We have what we came here for." Pein said as he reached for a metal rod. 

He lifted up the rod and cut my father in half.

"No!" My mother and little me shouted.

The blood went everywhere in the house. On the walls, floor, my mother, Pein, and little me. I saw my father's insides. His lungs, heart, brain, intestines, kidneys, and many more arteries. Pein and Konan didn't have any reaction to the scene in front of them.

Pein turned to my mother then lifted the rod up. He brought it down and cut my mother's head off. Her head landed right next to little me. Her eyes wide with fear, the hair scattered all over the place, the horror struck face. Blood oozing everywhere.

Little Mariah quickly got up trying to escape from the chains. She used my fire to melt the chains and ran out of the house. Pein and Konan chased after me with a few others following me. They all surrounded her.

"There's no escape so come with us."

"Never!" She shouted.

She changed my eyes to the Renningan. She lifted up her hands and pushed them away from herself. She ran out of the compound running past every burning building and body.

Darkness surrounded me again when I returned. I couldn't believe my eyes at what I just witnessed. No wonder I was distant from everyone. I didn't want to lose anyone else close to me so I didn't make bonds. A little kid shouldn't have to suffer through that kind of horror. Why am I suffering this torment? Is this the price you have to pay to be a devil? If it is then I don't want it. This torment is too much. I don't want to relive my past. I don't want my memories back if this is what I have to remember.

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