A week later Shawn and I were standing in front of each other, wondering what to say. He has to move on, it's better for his career. For now.

- you know, I dont think I ever loved someone as much as you but your right .. It's my career or .. You. I'm sorry but I have to do this

We were both crying but we also both knew it was the best for us. I didn't want to wait for him.

Shawn looked at me for the last time and then took his suitcase.

-I'll miss you, you know?
- I'll miss you too Shawn.

[...]

He left. I didn't heard of him since then. It's been a month day for day. Yes , I was sad. I would say I was almost depressed but I was sure that he was happy, and that was what really mattered.

I was homeschooled . I couldn't  go to school because I was too sick.

I was just laying in bed when I got a notification from Instagram. I looked and it was telling me that Shawn posted a picture. I forgot that before all of that I was a fan of him.. I opened it anyways. I was shocked.

Oh my god. A month , A freakin month and he already moved on. My heart just broke in a thousands of pieces. I really thought he loved me but I guess no.

I want to call him so bad. I want to know how dos he do to move on so fast. To forget. I had to text him.

I just couldn't believe he moved on so fast. I don't want to see him now. And I don't know when I'll be ready. He just put it out there knowing I would see it.

He was my first love. He helped me in rough times. And now that I really need someone to understand me, to help me think of something else than my sickness... He moved on.. And I don't blame him but it was so fast.

My cancer isn't going very well but I'm okay , I still believe it can get better.

[...]

A week later I decided that I wanted answers. I want to know. I can't let myself believe Shawn never loved me.

After this conversation, I figured I'm not totally ready to see him again..

Shawn posted this 5 minutes after I texted him and I wonder two things: is that about me or her and why didn't he have a profile picture ?

We need a face to face but .. I don't know when I'll be ready honestly
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• I hope you liked it:) don't worry it won't be sad like that for ever 💗