I wake with a heavy weight on my chest. Not a metaphorical weight. There's something physically heavy on my chest. When the events of last night return, my mind immediately goes to Casper. Of the two, I assumed him to be the cuddly type. But I'm surprised to find Lawson's head nuzzled between my boobs, and his strong arms wrapped around my hips.

      I usually don't make it to this part of hookups. The minute the cuddling starts, I make a run to the bathroom. But I'm so comfortable in Lawson's arms, that I find myself sinking into the mattress. I don't dare move an inch, laying beneath him until he starts to stir. When his eyes flicker open, his hold tightens, and he moves his face from my chest to my neck. He stays there as he stretches his legs. His breath on my neck gets me hot all over again, and I'm glad I don't have to worry about morning wood. Although... something is definitely poking my thigh, so I don't think he would judge me much.

      "You smell good," he mumbles against my skin.

     "Is this really Lawson?" I'm tempted to take his face between my hands to gage it. "Or did some other brunet hunk sneak into my bed in the middle of the night?"

     He chuckles. "I'm cuddly when I'm tired."

     He makes move to pull away, but I wrap my arms around his torso. "I wasn't complaining. This is nice."

     He hums his agreement, making himself comfortable again. I could get used to this, and what a terrifying thought that is. The only thing that would make it better would be Casper nuzzled into my other side...I'm so screwed.

      The clinging of dishes interrupts our peaceful moment. Lawson and I both tense. I wrongfully assumed Casper to be in the bathroom or snooping around my laundry. He's cooking.

     In one swift move, I flip out of bed and reach for one of their discarded shirts. "How concerned should I be?"

      Lawson makes a show of sniffing the air. "I don't smell smoke, yet. We've got time."

     I don't take a chance. In only one of their shirts, I scramble towards the noise.

     If this is the sight I'm greeted by, I wouldn't even care if Casper had burned my kitchen down. I bite my lip, as I watch him stand by the stove top, in nothing but the joggers that sit low on his hips. He's just finishing up, scooping scrambled eggs onto three plates.

     Lawson walks up beside me, butt naked. He kisses me on the cheek before coming up behind Casper. He rests his chin on Casper's shoulder and reaches around him to steal a piece of bacon from the sizzling pan.

     "Hey!" Casper protests and swats his hand away. "Get your dirty fingers away from my food. I already made you a plate."

     With a kiss on his neck, Lawson wipes his greasy fingers on Casper's chest and steps away to grab his plate. I don't know where to look. Casper's exasperated huff is so cute, and the streak of grease glistening on his chest makes me want to lick him. But then there's Lawson, going about my drawers, pulling out utensils with a morning wood that has yet to go down.

     What is this life? What did I do to be watching these two beautiful men in my kitchen? I think my mouth might be permanently parted in bewilderment. One night of catching up with old friends, and suddenly this is where I find myself.

      Casper smirks and hides his mouth to whisper shout at Lawson. "I think your sending Desi's brain into overdrive. She's not used to seeing open Lawson."

     Lawson blinks down at himself as if he's unaware of his nakedness. "You stole my pants," he offers him in explanation.

      "My bad. I forgot that that ass doesn't fit in my pants." To emphasize his point, Casper slaps his bare ass, before grabbing two plates. He sets the plates down on the kitchen island and nods his head towards one of the stools. "Have a seat, love."

     I take my seat almost robotically, both at ease and jumbled. I don't think there's much they could do to make me uncomfortable, but I'm so confused with where this is going. How do you move forward from a threesome with friends? Are we doing this again? Casper had certainly implied so.

      Casper puts his face right in front of mine and flicks my nose as if he hasn't already grabbed my attention.

      "Sorry, this is just weird...Even weirder that I'm enjoying it."

      "Aw," Casper coos as Lawson joins us at the island. "She like us."

     I groan as my cheeks pinken. That's not what I meant. I was referring to the domesticity. I hope stuffing my face with food will distract from my color.

      "Don't worry." He pats my thigh. "It's been a long time coming. If I tell you I like you, will you say it back this time?"

      "Casper," Lawson chides. "Maybe we need to have a serious conversation about this."

     "Alright." Casper straightens in his seat. "I'll be the blunt one. Lawson and I have already discussed this. We'd love to turn this duo into a trio. The decision is yours, darling"

      "Christ." Lawson swears under his breath and drops his head in his hands.

      "Well, don't do that!" Casper whines. "She's going to think I'm lying."

      Lawson composes himself, and twists in his seat to face me. He looks exasperated but genuine. "What Casper is trying to say, is that we are very open to opening our relationship. With you. But there's no need to make a decision now."

      I nod along to his words, eyes dropping to his crotch every couple of words. I can't help it. It's right there. Taunting me as we're trying to have a mature conversation. "I'm sorry. I'm getting a little distracted by your dick."

      He uses both of his hands to cover himself, as if that helps. "This conversation probably could have used clothes...But the point is that we'd like to keep doing this. It doesn't have to be serious yet, but Casper and I are excited to see where this could go."

      Yet... They imagine this eventually becoming serious.

     "Just to clarify, you want to do the whole dating thing, not just sex?"

      They both nod and I blow a breath. I'm not sure what to say. I've never had a problem with polyamory or threesomes, but this is a lot to take in. It happened so fast, and it scares me that my heart is desperate to agree.

      "I think we need to ask her directly," Casper whisper shouts to Lawson, who chokes on a breath that's a mixture of exasperation and contained laughter. "Do you want to give it a shot, Desirae?"

      Though I hesitate a little, I nod. What's the harm in trying? After last night, I owe it to myself to at least try. I don't want to regret missing out on something that can potentially be great. They're proposing casual dating. Nothing official, yet. It's the perfect opportunity to explore what I really what.

      They grin at my agreement.

       Before I lose my chance, I lay a few ground rules. "I'd like to keep this on the down low, until we decide what works. Especially at work." I send Casper a look. He rolls his eyes but promises to be good. "Are you both clean?" Maybe it's the nurse in me for asking this so bluntly, but it's a question everyone should ask. STDs are taken seriously in this house.

       They nod. "We've only been sleeping with each other."

      "Does that mean adding a third party isn't something you typically do?"

      I ignore the twitching of Casper's lips. "Never actually," Lawson admits. "This is brand new for us too."

       Before they can tease me for the question, as I know Casper is about too with that smirk on his face, I change the subject. The tension in my chest as I asked that question had nothing to do with jealousy. "Alright. And I'm on the pill, so I'm cool with no condoms if you are."

      "We won't object to that," Casper answers.

      "Now, in terms of limits—"

     The more we talk, the more comfortable I grow, finding our usual ease. This doesn't have to be complicated. Lawson and Casper are making this too easy. It amazes me how well we blend, like we've been doing this forever. There's nothing uncomfortable about the conversation. Casper twirls on his stool as Lawson and I do the dishes, listing various ideas for our safe word.

       Tears streaming my down my face at some of Casper's ridiculous ideas, we decide on pomegranate. Laugh you may, but it's the most reasonable option that they gave me.

      "Are you sure you'll remember it?" I taunt Casper.

      Without further explanation, he understands what I'm referring too. I used it against him for so long.

      "I forget your birthday, one time... one time ten years ago!" he complains.

     "Sounds like the one time you almost burned Lawson's kitchen down."

       Lawson snickers as Casper narrows his eyes at me. "Our kitchen," he corrects. "I contribute."

      I raise a brow. "No need to pretend as though Lawson doesn't do all the work."

      Casper huffs. "I help in my own way."

      "Just in the kitchen though, right?" I can already tell that he loves when Lawson takes control in the bedroom.

      His gaze darkens. "And the brat comes out again."

      The shift in his tone makes the smile on my face flicker.

      "That was barely bratty," I object, subtly backing away. Is that really all it took to turn their dicks into game mode?

      They stalk towards me and cage me against the counter. I plant a hand on both of their chests to keep them away. "We just woke up," I try to object. "I haven't even brushed my teeth!"

      "Luckily were not interested in your mouth right now." Casper claims, though his gaze is fixed on my lips.

      "We went easy on you last night," Lawson butts in. "Moving forward, you do something that warrants punishment, and you get it. Let this be a lesson for the future."

       I clutch the counter behind me, desire building in my chest. A small part of my ego reminds me that I haven't done anything warranting punishment, but the idea of being punished by Lawson is all too appealing. I'm starting to understand why Casper is such a tease. He probably aims to rile him up.

      I'm frozen in place as I wait for their next move.

      "Turn around and bend over," Lawson instructs.

      I huff, making no move to follow his command. I might like to submit but I'm not that easy. I know damn well what kind of punishment would follow bending over, and he has another thing coming if he thinks I won't put up at least a little fight.

      "What are you punishing me for?" I ask Lawson. "I was teasing Casper."

      "Disrespect, nonetheless, on top of these new protests."

      "You're only making things worse for yourself," Casper adds inching a little closer. I have to tilt my head to look at him. He watches me with a crooked smirk, clearly looking forward to bearing witness to my degradation.

      Lawson agrees. "That little show just earned you a few extra slaps."

     My body tenses as I consider my options.

      "I would be happy to put you in his desired position, if you don't want to do it yourself." The smirk on Casper's face makes me wish he was getting a spanking too. I moan at the picture that that thought paints. Casper leans down to press his lips against my ear. "Be a good girl and do as he said...he may choose to reward you for it. Take it from someone who has experienced the fury of his hand." Yep. Definitely hoping I get to see that one day.

      I swallow my pride and turn around. I would probably enjoy Casper manhandling me a little too much. I take a deep breath through my nose, and bend at the waist as I grasp the edge of the counter.

      "Come on, Dez," Casper tiffs, and pushes down on my back so that I'm closer to bent over in half. In this position, my shirt rides up, uncovering my ass. I grip the counter tighter as I resist the urge to cover up.

      They grunt in approval.

      Casper palms my pussy and drags his wet hand from my center to the top of my ass. He lifts the shirt too fully uncover me and grips the extra material on my hip.

      I get no warning.

       Lawson's hand comes raining down on my ass and I yelp. I barely take a breath before the next one comes. His smacking echoes across the room, marking my face just as red as I'm sure my ass is. I pant against the counter, fighting to stay still. Something told me, they wouldn't appreciate my escape.

       "Say the word, Desirae," Casper taunts. "I do remember it."

       I don't say the word. I don't want to say the word. My ass is on fire, but I have no plans on making them stop. I take six more blows before they stop coming. I wait in anticipation. Surely, he'd tell me when he was done. I don't dare move as I fear I'll get rewarded with extra smacks.

      I stand still as Casper rubs his hands against my red skin. Through the corner of my eye, I see Lawson pull up a chair from the kitchen table. He takes a seat, hard dick sticking up in his lap. I don't stand a chance as Casper takes me in his arms, holding me by the waist with my head hanging down like a child. I try to wriggle out of his grip but it's useless. He sets me down, ass up on Lawson's lap. His hard cock pokes me in the stomach.

       Before stepping away, Casper bends to whisper in my year. "Do yourself a favor and stay still. He loves to watch me squirm; you'll only rile him up more."

      With that said he disappears from my sight. I don't like the sound of him rooting through my cupboards again, but Lawson's firm hold on my lower back distracts me. With one hand he holds me in place, and the other teases my bottom, promising to deliver more blows. But he toys with me first. He squeezes and pushes my cheeks, before using his fingers to spread them. I inhale at the obscenity and squirm as he glides his thumb over my puckered hole.

      "God, that's hot." Casper's back. I can feel his gaze burning into my asshole. He walks around me to kneel in front of my face. For a second, I think he's there to reassure me, but he kneels in view to show me the wooden spoon in his hand.

       I watch with horror-stricken eyes as he passes the spoon to Lawson. My cheeks clench in anticipation. He toys with me again, running the wood against my tormented skin.

When the first blow finally comes, I cry out. "Fuck," I breath out. Beads of sweat accumulate on my forehead.

       Lawson gives me no time to recover. Two more swift blows come, and I'm moaning and writhing in his lap. I've dabbled with spanking in the past, but no man has ever gone all out in the way Lawson does. Casper tries to comfort me by running his hand through my hair and whispers soothing words in my ear.

      "Just a few more," Lawson reassures.

      I'm panting, and tears gather in my eyes, but still, I refuse to use the safe word. Maybe I'm a little bit of a masochist. Maybe I'm stubborn. Maybe I'm enjoying this too much.

      "Last one."

      He spreads my legs further apart and I can't help but yell out as it lands on my aching core.

      I moan and writhe long after he discards the spoon.

      I may as well be a rag doll, deadweight as they sit me up in Lawson's lap. I try to lift off his lap, as my tortured skin rubs against his. He takes mercy on me, and inches me forward to place most of my weight on my thighs.

       Casper kneels between my spread legs, and I don't even care that he can see just how wet I am. I lean my head against Lawson's chest as I try to catch my breath. Casper takes my face in his hand and lays a gentle kiss first on my forehead, then my nose and finally each cheek. "You did so good, baby." He caresses my hair, and I'm ashamed of the way his words of praise make me preen. He's so close that his nose brushes mine, lips a breath apart. Though I was counting on my reward being an orgasm, right now all I'm thinking about his kissing him. He knows it too because he doesn't give in. He licks his lips as he traces mine with his thumb.

       Casper's lips get closer and closer, as they both rub their hands up my thighs.

      When he finally kisses me, he takes all the air from my lungs at the same time. No sooner are his lips on mine, are there fingers sliding inside me. Lawson holds my thighs apart, as Casper's fingers dip inside me. I'm so wet, that both his fingers slide right in.

       He doesn't pull out, even when my orgasm explodes on him. He draws it out until my whole body is trembling.

       I sigh when he retracts his fingers and jerk my hips as he brings his lips to my sensitive clit.

      "Enough," I pant. I try to squeeze my thighs shut but Lawson is much stronger. I reach for Casper's head with the intention of pushing him away but end up grasping his locks. I moan and let my head fall on Lawson's shoulder.

       I'm on the verge of my second orgasm when knocking at my front door startles me. Though I jump in surprise, I have no doubt who the culprit is. It must be Ivy. She's always showing up un-announced. We don't have much time before she lets herself in. I shove the guys towards my room with urgency. "Put some clothes on."

      I try to pat my hair down as much as possible and throw on a pair of sweats before meeting Ivy at the door.

       "Took you long enough," she greets. She moves to step around me but pauses when she gets a good look at my clothes.

       Her brows fly into her hairline. She looks me up and down, twice. "Well, you look properly dishevelled."

      My face betrays me by warming. No chance of secret keeping with my blushing tendencies.

      Her jaw falls slack and then she jumps on her toes. "Omg, are they here?!"

      I don't have to answer, she knows by the horror on my face. I resent the fact that she knows it's them.

      Most people would take my dismay as a cue to leave. Not Ivy. She pushes past me, and plops down on my couch to get a front row seat of this disaster. Her head swings in every direction in search for traces of the guys. "I need all the details!"

      "Please, shut up." I put a finger to her mouth and point to the bedroom.

      She taps her feet on the floor, only more excited as I confirm that they're still here. She's practically bouncing in her seat as we wait for them to come out.

      They stay in my room longer than it should take to throw some clothes on. Something tells me they're waiting for the blood to rush out of their dicks. A small smile flickers on my lips as I picture them in hiding, willing their cocks to behave. A chuckle rises in my throat when I hear Lawson mumble curses across the hall. I can picture Casper making the situation harder. Literally.

       When the door creaks open, I'm not sure what I'm expecting, but it's not the shy popping of Lawson's head. He just barely itches his head in the hall, before stumbling forward as Casper shoves him forward. They scramble along the hall, somewhat composed by the time they reach us.

       Lawson offers Ivy an awkward nod, hands shoved in his pockets.

      Casper isn't the faintest bit affected by her presence. If anything, he's amused. "Ivy Wilson." He grins. "Good to see you."

     "Casper," she greets back. By the grin on her face, I can already tell that it'll be better for my sake to keep the two away from each other. They're a lot alike, in the sense that they're both gigantic pains in my ass. "I don't think I have to give you the shovel talk again."

      And just like that my plan to get them out quickly is ruined. They jump into the story of Ivy's third grade shovel talk.

      Twenty minutes later, I finally get to walk the guys out. I look back awkwardly at Ivy. With a nod and thumbs up, she sticks her fingers in her ears and closes her eyes. Not quite what I was intending.

      "I'm so sorry about her," I groan.

      They laugh in unison, at least somewhat accustomed to her quirks. They're stood in the doorway, and I shuffle awkwardly on my feet. I've never walked two people to a door before. I'm not sure what the right move is.

      "Well text you later," Lawson says, head bobbing forward as if he was going to kiss me goodbye but decided against it.

      Casper on the other hand goes right for it. He leaves a loud sloppy kiss on my lips, before taking Lawson's hand and shutting the door behind him.

      I wait until I see them enter their car to slide against my door to sit on the floor. A little dramatic maybe, but I've yet to allow myself to freak out.

      Ivy screeches, rushing forward to pull me up. "You didn't tell me they were that hot, now!"

      "I think I'm still processing it."

       She drags me back towards the couch where I collapse theatrically on my back. "Everything is only now starting to feel real..." I shoot into a sitting position. "What am I doing?"

       What am I hoping to achieve with this? A relationship with two guys... I couldn't even make one last with one guy. I tell Ivy all about our deal to give it a try, cursing myself for being so foolish. How was I going to survive this? Getting in the middle of an established couple?

      "Girl, you've been reading about menages, forever," Ivy tries to calm me.

      "That's fiction!"

      "Lots of people are polyamorous. Sure, sometimes it can get messy, but it does work."

      My lip remained tight between my teeth.

      "Desirae, do you enjoy their company?"

      There's no hesitation there. I nod.

      "Then everything else doesn't matter. Do what feels good... How good was it?"

      Her tone is enough to release the tension in my shoulders. I release my lip as it twitches upward. How good? I blush some more just thinking about it. Good was an understatement.

      "I knew it!" She pumps her fist in the air. "They made you finish, didn't they?"

      "Don't you have any shame? Shouldn't we have some boundaries?"

      She gasps. "They did!" She leans towards me with a pointed finger. "Didn't I tell you? Are you finally going to start listening to me?"

      I try to shift away from her and grimace as the raw skin on my ass rubs against my pants. She gasps again, slapping the couch in excitement. "Didn't I tell you that you needed a good spanking?"

      I hide my face in my hands, unable to stop my shoulders from shaking with laughter.

      I let her tease me some more, going on and on about how she was right. I was happy for the distraction.

       As I lay in bed that night, of course I think about them. I click on Lawson's name first.

Me: Can you send me a video of you spanking Casper for the little show he put on when Ivy was here?

Lawson: I'll do you one better and give you a front row seat to the show, next time... Maybe I'll even hand you the paddle.

Casper: What are you and Lawson up to?? That smirk on his face is telling Desirae Larue

Me: You'll find out soon.

Casper: Careful who you play games with

Casper: see you tomorrow ;)

       I frown, momentarily hit with the fear that I forgot plans we might have made, but then I realize that he means work. I groan. Martha's going to read me like one of her porn books. Discretion is not a natural talent of mine. He said he'd see me tomorrow, but I was going to make it hard for him. Avoidance was my best shot at keeping any sense of privacy.