🛡️ ERIC 🛡️

I’ve been like a horse with blinkers, focused on what’s ahead of me and haven’t paid attention to Jean’s feelings. I will do everything for Jean. I want to make him happy.

We went back to the tents of the war council. King Jaques was alone in the tent, writing.

“You’re absent at the meeting.” He pointed at me then focused on Jean. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be on the battle field.”

“I’m sorry, King. I brought back Prince Jean here. He'll go back to his job in the Alliance Affairs.”

King Jaques gaped. “You abandoned the battle field?”

“I believe they can perfectly manage, King Jaques.” I stood firmly.

King Jaques raised his brow, seeing our intertwined hands. “I believe that you knew very well,” he looked at me deeper, “that someone needs to be there to represent the royal house, future King.”

“I went there and found Prince Jean on the front lines. Don’t you have any concern about The Prince?”

He looked at Jean and back to me. He chuckled. “He has a brain to use it properly.” He narrowed his eyes. “I’m sure there is a reason why he did that.”

“You’re the King, aren’t you?”

“You’re good.” He walked, heading outside. “And, you have to choose who to speak like that to. I am not your King, yes. But I am the father of your,” he smirked, “future bride.” He gazed Jean from head to toe then left.

We sighed.

“Your father is something.”

“I know. And in our family, I’m the only one who can talk to him like that.”

“Why didn’t you talked just now?” I went to my table and sat.

Jean followed me and sat on the chair beside me. “It is fun listening to you two.”

“Yeah, entertaining right?”

“Of course. And I feel like he sensed that you don’t like him.”

“I really don’t.” I scanned my table and found the minutes of the meeting a while ago.

“At least, don’t trigger him.”

“You worry too much. I am the future King, didn’t you hear your father?” I searched for a quill in the drawer. “I am out of his dominion.”

“You don’t know him like I do.”

“Obviously.” I scanned the papers on my desk.

“Do your job.”

“Lyra is there. Let my take a break.”

“Help me then.”

“I don’t feel like it. I’ll just sleep here.” He laid his head on the table.

“You can’t. If someone catches you, I’ll be to blamed as well.”

Jean murmured. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”

“Stop it.”

💮 🏰 💮

Just as the sun was about to set, I found myself with Jean in my chambers. We were covered with blankets, without any clothing on our bodies. His arm rested on my chest, his chin on my shoulders. His other hand playing with my curls.

“I will talk to father and announce our love for each other tomorrow.”

“Really?”

“Uhm, do you want to come with me?”

“Nope.”

Someone knocked, our eyes widened.

“Just a moment.” We rushed to the dressing room and put on our dinner clothes. I pushed Jean further inside.

I raced to the door and opened it.

Lyra waved with a smile. “Hi!”

I grinned. “What is it?”

“May I invite you to talk now, if you're not busy? I have something important to tell you.”

I gazed at Jean. He nodded.

She saw Jean. “Oh, bro––, Prince Jean.”

Jean smiled.

“Okay, wait for me outside. Give me a minute or two?”

She grinned. “See you.”

I closed the door. “I'll tell her.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” I kissed Jean and went out.

💮 🏰 💮

We walked into a long arcaded hallway.

“It is good that you get to talk to Jean already.”

I nodded. How will I explain the situation to her?

“He did not told you anything, right?” she asked.

I just agreed to that. I nodded.

She brushed her hands to her arms. “I saw this coming though. It is difficult to convince him talk even to me about his problems.”

I just nodded again.

“You’re just silent.”

“I have to tell you something else,” I suggested.

“Can we talk about it later?”

“All right.” I looked at the town’s roofs and chimneys, almost all emitted smoke into the air.

“This is stressing me out.” She sighed.

I just have to listen.

“You’re a good listener, do you know that?”

“I am?” I smiled.

“You know you are. It is difficult to be royals.” We stopped by the edge of the railing of a balcony, the town of St. William still lit and alive. “We have to be somehow near the expectations of us, all the time. If not, most of the time.”

I bent, my elbows resting on the railings. “I agree. That’s how you know that you’re a good princess: having difficulty with everything.”

“You seem to have it all figured out.”

“Of course not. It is very difficult for me as well.” I smiled.

“You seem to be at ease at everything, even if what’s happening is very stressful.”

“Maybe, you did not saw me break down into pieces. Soon, you will.” I mean it so much.

“I hate coming up to expectations of our father. I know I’m not that kind of person. Yet, I always find myself going for what the King expects us to be.” She looked at her hands on the railings.

“I admire my brother. Do you know that he goes against my father’s will, since childhood? His ideals are so strong that if he feels he do not want something, he can say it straight to father. That’s why I am worried about his acts just lately. I knew he wants adventure but not to that level that he’ll risk his life just to prove something.”

“Did your father knew what he did? What could he be proving?”

“I did asked father to not let Jean go on with his madness. Father told me to let him do what he wants.” She breathed heavily. “For me, that’s like saying to father that he cares about what the Kingdom is fighting for.”

That sparked something in my head. Jean was proving that he love his duty,  and he will do everything in his power to protect his kingdom, and our kingdoms. I judged him.

My insides wanted to throw up for being unfair to Jean. My tears welled up but I held them in.

I faced her, my hands I put on her shoulders to make a point.

“You’re brave for being here. You add hope to our cause. You’re doing well.” I smiled.

She looked at me, her eyes examining me. She pulled up to me and kissed me on the lips.

What is she doing? Right, we were engaged, but it was wrong and beyond what we should have together.

Still shocked, I pulled out from her and faced the wall.

“I just said what I observed,” I informed her.

Everything became awkward.

💮 🏰 💮

Going back to my chambers, I thought of what I just realized: Jean was proving, to me, that he also wants to protect the kingdoms.

I stopped from walking and looked to the small window which opens to the farms, the sea reflected the crescent moon so serene. Different from my chaotic mind that thought of everything I could do to make it up to Jean, who was ready to sacrifice his life to prove to me that he loves his duty. That he loves me.

What could I ever do to make up to that?

I entered our chambers. Jean was gone. Where could he be?

Someone knocked. Alexios came in.

“Why are you here?”

“Jean asked me to switch rooms again.”

“Did he mentioned why?”

“He did not said anything. He looked serious so I opted not to bother him anymore.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

I thought of going to him. If he didn't need space from me, he wouldn’t go there. I wondered what’s wrong with him, but I let him be alone.

💮 🏰 💮

At breakfast next morning, Jean avoided me.