thirteen: waste it on me

"I wanna be your wave
Treat me like a comma
I'll take you to a new phrase
Yeah, come just eat me and throw me away
If I'm not your taste, babe, waste
Waste it on me."

//

"hey you."

blueberry Taehyung stops at the garden door, snacking on carrots before looking at his friend. he raises his brows at Elianna who sits at the edge of the step, elbows on knees as she waves hello with a morning smile.

"would you like some carrot sticks?" he joins her on the ledge, in the same position as their knees hit each other. they both like mornings.

"go on then." she takes one from the packet, thankful for Taehyung's presence in the early morning.

it's the next day and it's late morning. the two of them are enjoying the fresh air out in the garden. as the birds sing, the only other sound that is heard is the pair of friends munching on orange carrots. they sit in silence until Taehyung says something that's on his mind, hair sticking up from waking up.

"you came back laughing and happy yesterday." he points out, accidentally pointing his carrot at Elianna who gives him a look that says, what? he wiggles his eyebrows, red and black flannel collars sticking up as he waits for his friend's reaction to his observation.

Elianna rolls her eyes and tucks his collar down, "you were up?"

"i wanted a glass of water."

"well that didn't mean anything..." Elianna gulps. Taehyung can sense that she feels uneasy about last night. "we still haven't talked about it." she explains. she doesn't like how they shared such an intimate moment but still haven't talked about their conflicting past.

"ah i see."

"don't tell me to talk to him."

"you know i won't." Taehyung looks at her, cheeks puffed. "i know you'll do what's right."

"what a sweetheart." Elianna smiles at him. she appreciates Taehyung's warm presence, he always makes her feel welcome. he never judges her and listens to her openly.

"want a smoke?" a deep, sleep deprived voice interrupts the carrot sharing moment between the wakeful two. silver haired, sweatpants dressed Yoongi steps out into the garden with bare feet. "hey Tae Tae." he adds, waving his cigarette box at them. he reminisces the times him and Elianna shared smoke breaks. he liked having that personal time with her and now, they don't need cigarettes to bring them closer.

"you stayed the night?"

"Jin allowed me to."

"why did we not know this?" Elianna furrows her brows before standing up. she's surprised Yoongi was allowed to stay due to the tension. it seems he's being forgiven more now that his presence is becoming apparent. "and yeah come on."

so she smokes outside with Yoongi. there's silence. he lights their cigarettes as they take their first intake of nicotine. they exhale at the same time, smoke clouding their sight as they stare out into the garden that has trees needing to be trimmed. 

"why did we think revenge was so important huh?" a question floats in the air between them.

"did we? or did we just do it because we were stupid?"

"teenagers do stupid things."

Yoongi nods. they're both glad they're not teenagers anymore. they feel that as adults now, they've grown in maturity and know what's worthwhile. "they do but we were so invested into changing each other." he says. in some crazy way, there's love in that.

"but it worked didn't it?" Yoongi breathes out.

"it could've worked without the need for revenge." Elianna eyes the ground, crossing one arm over her chest as the other holds her fiery cigarette. she likes conversations like these with Yoongi because it shows how much they've changed. talking about the concept of revenge has taught her a lot about life and who she was. when she looks in the mirror, her view has changed and that's a huge relief.

"let's promise to never do such a thing again because it's tiring as fuck." Elianna scoffs, stomping on her cigarette. she does the same for Yoongi due to his bare, small feet.

"i agree," Yoongi nods, hair shaking. "let's be good people."

"let's smoke another one to that."

so they do and their conversation about revenge ends. although their past was intertwined negatively, their present and futures hold positivity and change. having these conversations between the two hasn't just made them reflect but also brought them closer. Yoongi and Elianna truly are so identical that it scares them both.

Shira comes outside then, acknowledging the two with a blank face. she takes Yoongi's cigarette out of his hand before stepping on it.

the boy laughs, slightly disappointed that his cigarette went to waste.

"i love being hated on, it fuels me."

there was of course, a variety of reactions to Yoongi's presence. Namjoon and Jin couldn't help but greet him as he remembered old times, Hoseok greeted him politely but stayed weary, Jimin and Taehyung couldn't stop singing Seesaw, Jungkook glared with his phone in his hands, Zelda is already good friends with Yoongi so she didn't mind. the truth is, Jungkook and Shira are both stubborn people who care about the people they love. due to Yoongi's past mistakes, they find it hard to see him in the same light the others do.

//

Elianna enters the bedroom in which all the girls are gathered. she's about to inform them of the kiss her and Jungkook had shared last night.

she feels that it's important. when she looks around the room, her heart fills with warmth knowing she has her group of friends to come to. to be able to tell them something so trivial to others but huge for her is special.

"hi Maeve," Elianna notices a new face, bringing her into the room with her arms wrapped loosely around her neck. "welcome." she's glad she came along with Yoongi.

so Elianna sits on the carpet, legs stretched out in front of her as she spots each girl at a different place around the large room. window ledge, the bed, chairs and against the wall. she jumps straight to the point. "me and Jungkook kissed last night." her lips still tingle and she lowers her hand down before she embarrasses herself. "let's not make a big deal out of it." she doesn't want to. it feels too real, too crazy.

"you're telling us you kissed-" Zelda starts, legs dangling off the bed as her eyes widen in surprise. the blue intensity of them makes Elianna look away. she can clearly see her joy. everyone's joy whilst she panicks.

"you kissed who?" Maeve gasps, adjusting the cap on her head.

"JUNGKOOK." Talulah shouts, eyes wide in excitement.

"say it louder why don't you?" Elianna groans, attempting to slap her hand over her loud mouth. sometimes they're so similar but right now they're entirely different. she lunges for Talulah who's on a spinning chair.

"SHALL I?" she shouts again.

"Talulah god..." Elianna sighs, spinning her round and round in a craze. "how does Tae deal with you?" in all honesty, she likes her loudness and childishness. sometimes, she gets like that too and it's a great feeling.

"i can't believe you kissed." Shira can't stop the smile spreading onto her lips. she runs her hands through her hair, placing her hijab neatly away. her as well as everyone else has been waiting for this moment. it means so much, everything. the couple everyone wants back. "wait, i need to go to the toilet." she stands up, going into the bathroom as part of the bedroom.

"it's been years and you kissed the love of your life again!" Zelda gleams. she places her laptop down to the ground, liking how Elisa leans her head on her shoulder. she offers a reassuring smile to Elianna, knowing she must be feeling conflict and uneasiness.

"when you say it like that..." Elianna leans back on the palm of her hands. she flicks her tongue across her lips and feels the rapid beat of her heart. the way Jungkook kissed her last night left her daze. she's sure she wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep after it. "it makes me swoon." he makes me swoon. his dangerous lips, his starry eyes...

why did he leave me?

"does this mean anything, like are you getting back together?" Maeve questions, eyes twinkling in what seems like hope. the hope in the room is suffocating as Elianna immediately stiffens. getting back together?

"obviously not."

"can someone get me a pad please?"

Shira calls from the bathroom, interrupting the conversation. Elisa gets off the bed, stopping Zelda from playing with her hair before retrieving a pad. she opens the door carefully before giving it to Shira who thanks her.

"so how do you feel about it?" Zelda asks, noticing Elianna's looks. she can tell she needs a moment to focus on her feelings and thoughts before jumping to any decisions or conclusions. Zelda brings the focus back to her as she leans forward, hands clasped loosely.

"uneasy but i'm not bothered." Elianna huffs. she forces herself to think more than usual. last night meant something to her and Jungkook. "it makes me want to talk to him though."

"finally." Talulah throws her fists in the air in happiness.

//

now it's Jungkook's turn to inform the boys on what happened last night. "something happened last night." he says to Hoseok who pushes the boys into the bedroom.

"staff meeting everyone!"

"our Kookie has something important to tell us." Jimin grins when he enters the room, swinging his arms around Jungkook's neck. the boys enter the room one by one as Jungkook's anxiety increases.

"tell Yoongi to piss off." the younger mumbles when he sees Yoongi walk past the open door.

"oh come on Kook," Yoongi raises his brows, pretending to be offended. "i'm not invited to this meeting?"

"you sure you don't want him to come?" Hoseok asks, holding the door open with his hand. he looks between Jungkook and Yoongi awkwardly.

"yeah we're not on speaking terms."

and the door shuts on Yoongi's smirk.

Jungkook stands in front of the boys in the bedroom. eager, curious and brown eyes stare back at him. he fiddles with his fingers as he starts to speak, "i kissed Elianna. it was a rash decision and it just happened."

"OH MY GOD."

"YOU KISSED ELIANNA!"

//

Elianna furrows her brows at the loud noise.

"girls, did you hear that?"

//

"i can literally hear you outside." Yoongi says from outside of the door. Jungkook can sense his frown.

"let him inside." the troubled male mumbles as Yoongi walks in through the opened door. Jungkook doesn't look at him as he continues to speak to his friends about his feelings, "yeah but it doesn't seem like it meant anything." he admits.

"how can a kiss not mean anything?" Namjoon objects, running his hands through his hair as he leans against the side of the bed, bottom on floor. "it means everything."

"did she kiss you back?" Taehyung asks, big eyes gazing.

"yes."

some of them squeal.

"control yourself." Jungkook bites his lip, hiding his blush.

"you don't seem excited though." Yoongi points out, standing at a distance from the boy who allowed him inside. even now, as he looks at his friend, he feels a sense of protection and euphoria. he's missed him, missed everyone and just to be in a room whilst they discuss something personal is emotional.

"i'm a little happy." Jungkook trails off, voice growing quiet. "there's hope inside of me." he acknowledges the mixed emotions swirling inside of him. he doesn't want to get the hopes too high, it'll crash down eventually.

"i missed her and it just made me realise something..." Jungkook stares at the carpet. "i'm going to get her back. whatever it takes." his determined attitude is evident.