dedicated to: @sunshinefadesaway

one: mikrokosmos

"perhaps the reason this night looks so beautiful is not because of these stars or lights, but us."

//

Elianna wakes up.

her arms stretch as she opens her eyes before she feels something hard and heavy beside her. "the fuck am i doing here-" she immediately cusses, arms accidentally stretching out to hit the silent man sleeping. "with your ugly ass." she finishes her sentence.

Yoongi who's sleeping beside Elianna awakes too. unlike her, his body huddles as he brings his knees to his chest. his voice is deep, filled with sleep and his brown eyes are still closed. he's already too tired to deal with Elianna's bullshit which is why he lifts his middle finger up at her. "speak for yourself." he replies. "have you looked in the fucking mirror?" he scoffs.

Elianna sits up in the bed, now rubbing her eyes. she's still wearing her clothes from yesterday- one of Taehyung's oversized hoodies and grey sweatpants. she can never sleep properly at other people's houses, despite having so much experience of staying at her friends' houses more than her own, she only gets a couple of hours. yet she gets through.

"why do you have to snore?" she starts to bicker, complaining about Yoongi's loud mouth when he falls into a deep slumber. he's loud even when he sleeps, she thinks. throughout the long night, she awoke several times annoyingly and squeezed Yoongi's (adorable) nose as an attempt for him to stop snoring. it didn't last long.

"get out of my bed." Yoongi kicks his leg at her.

"why are you sleeping next to me?"

"why are you-" Yoongi now opens his eyes and their feelings match each other. the vexation between them is constant. he groans at the time when his eyes land on the clock. "why are you even at mine?" he questions.

"i stayed the night because i couldn't be bothered going home." Elianna explains, legs dangling off the edge of the bed. she's been doing that a lot... she stays at other people's houses too late and doesn't have the energy to go home due to her tiredness.

"lazy bit-"

Elianna gasps. "shut that mouth and wash it out with soap."

then she pulls her messy, black hair into a bun that sits on her head. she picks up her jacket from the floor, ignoring the pile of dirty laundry and random, vibrant post it notes. everything else in the room is clean, from his music desk to the posters on the wall and the plants on the window. she notices how the post it notes have little scribbles of words, concepts and she realises Yoongi gets inspired when he's about to sleep. therefore, he scribbles down ideas whilst he's half awake beside his bed.

"i literally never want to find you this close to me ever again." she states, voice still laced with sleep but her eyes are awake now. the sunlight filtering through the windows is too bright and she can't believe she has to walk home, get changed and be productive. society. "are we clear?" she gazes at the pale boy who's not listening.

the pale boy, also with black hair lets a chuckle leave his lips. his eyes are closed again. "you never say that to any of the other boys." he comments, thinking of their friends. "the fuck did i do?" the amount of cussing that leaves their lips at such an early time is disturbing but normal for the two. even now, they look like bickering siblings. the matching black hair and brown eyes doesn't help the familiar atmosphere. they even got matching nose piercings unintentionally.

of course, when they found out they held another thing in common, it resulted in a war that is not suitable for children.

"do you want me to pull out the countless receipts?"

Yoongi snuggles into his pillow with one hand underneath it. despite wanting to go back to sleep again, he keeps talking to Elianna, "why are you acting like i stink or something?"

"because you do?"

"just fuck off."

"gladly." Elianna grins and takes his filled cigarette pack from the desk top, she shoves it into her jacket pocket. his eyes are closed, he won't even notice, she thinks as she mumbles, "thanks boo." before leaving his bedroom of neatness and blackness.

as she walks down the stairs, leather boots hitting each step with loud intensity, she meets someone at the door. "hi Maeve." she smiles, watching her come inside the house with a bag of groceries for her boyfriend.

Yoongi and Maeve don't live together but are going strong. their main focus is to make each other happy. grow together whilst being together. although, they had a rough past, they're working on things as a team and are taking things slow. "you need to buy some soap for your boyfriend."

Elianna hear's Maeve's confused laughter as she walks out.

//

"Elianna, welcome. thank you for joining us for dinner."

Shira's mother welcomes Elianna into their family home. her words are followed by Shira's fathers broken English. she appreciates his effort and welcoming nature. "sit, sit." he smiles and brings her towards the dining room.

as soon as Elianna steps into her close friend's home, she is overcome by warmth and family fondness. this is the family she's known since she was a young child in school. the first time Shira had brought her home, she hid her away from her parents and although, it took them a while to come around, they now see her as a daughter.

religion is full of love, Elianna has always known that.

now she sits at the dining table, hands clasped neatly in her lap as she watches Shira's family members work around her. Shira herself, sits with her as they engage in a conversation. Elianna watches how Shira's traditional looking mother and sisters set the table, their father praying his prayer before they break their fast.

today, Elianna is joining Shira on one of the last days of Ramadan. it's a joyous occasion, Elianna can tell and the outcome of the religious month is one of pleasures.

it is a month of prayer, control and fasting. so, Elianna contributed because she fasted today too. tonight, after fasting for the whole day, she'll break her fast with Shira and her family. she feels a huge honour just sitting and watching the food be prepared.

"it's so cool that you're fasting." Shira's sister mentions, placing a plate in front of Elianna directly.

"why thank you." Elianna grins. "i might try it again."

"what a good friend you have." Shira's mother comments, bringing more plates and cups to the table. before Elianna knows it, the table is filled with fruit, dates, warm food and drinks. she can feel the gratitude.

Shira nods. "yeah she's a cool one."

her mother laughs and Elianna winks.

"i thought you might just need a break from everything." Shira says when the two of them are left alone. Elianna's eyes flicker to her concerned friend, watching her as she tries to find the words. "but thank you for coming."

Elianna nods. "no i'm glad i came. thanks for inviting me." she looks around the table and expresses her excitement at the occasion. she agrees with Shira because lately, all these years even, a lot has been on her mind and when she spends time with her friends, it is better to breathe. "this is a nice way for me to kind of just breathe."

"you should come over for dinner more you know?" Shira starts to fill up everyone's glasses at the table. drinking cold, fresh water after fasting all day is the best. "you're always alone in your apartment and busy with work." she says, eyebrows raising.

"i still see you guys everyday."

"yeah never mind. i sound clingy."

"oh come on Shira, give me a hug." Elianna reaches over but Shira dodges her with a playful smile.

"don't make me swear at you, now let's break our fast ."

the clock makes it's way round and the time to break their fast arrives. Elianna is surprised by how fast the day went. not eating didn't impact her as much as she thought it would, although, her energy levels did drop, it was okay.

"you can always talk to me you know that right?"

Elianna remembers Shira's words when the rest of the family sit at the table. she feels lucky to be welcomed into the family at a private time. she takes a moment to be thankful. thankful for her life, thankful for her senses, thankful for her privilege, thankful for her friend and her family and the food.

as the clock strikes, Elianna, Shira, her parents and two sisters break their fast with dates and water. Elianna respects the family by placing a scarf over her head and listening to the call for prayer. everyone chooses different things to eat first, ranging from cut fruit to fried food. it's an interesting meal of variety.

after doing so, before the main meal, Elianna shuts off her phone and watches the family together. they start to pray their prayer after sunset. it's peaceful. they crouch down, pray on the floor. it's known as Salah, El learns.

"thank you for inviting me to your home." Elianna says later. when Shira's parents look at her respectfully with no sense of judgement, she feels glad that she covered up her tattoos and took out her piercings.

"of course."

time passes and everyone is left feeling full with good food. everyone stays seated around the table, enjoying small snacks and drinks. Shira's mother looks at her oldest daughter with a raise of her brows, "i think this is the perfect time to... don't you dear?"

Elianna watches the scene unfold. Shira shakes her head, wrapping her hijab tighter around her head to ensure it doesn't fall off. since she's at home, she's not wearing it like she usually does, it's looser and more comfortable. "mother no, i wanted to wait-" she starts protesting, eyes glaring.

"no let's do it now." her mother urges, hazel eyes excited. "when else will we have Elianna over again? on this graceful night, we shall tell her."

"tell me what?" Elianna questions. Shira looks distressed and Elianna's friendly, protective instincts immediately jump out. what's going on?

"i'm-"

"Shira will be getting married soon. she's engaged!"

Elianna stares at Shira's mother before staring at her beloved daughter. her mother's words of it being wonderful news wafts away and it's static in Elianna's ears. she's what, engaged?

Elianna takes in Shira's reaction. it's dull. her expression is blank as her hands clutch together in a tight grasp. she notices the shining ring on a finger that is obviously new. she hides it away quickly, removing her hands from the table before meeting El's gaze.

Elianna is bewildered but she fakes a smile nevertheless. she's gotten pretty good at it after all. "engaged?" she repeats, looking back and forth between Shira and her mother. she needs some sort of reassurance from her friend.

"it's an arranged marriage." Shira explains. it seems like she has a lot to say and Elianna would love to hear it but the family is there. Shira's parents are merry, it's obvious. Elianna is slightly annoyed but more confused.

"i wanted to tell you El-"

Elianna already knows that Shira was planning on telling her and the rest of their friends but her parents are clearly too excited to contain themselves. it's a big announcement since marriage is a monumental change.

past Elianna would've been mad, she would've questioned in front of everyone why Shira had not told her but she's changed. so instead, she stands up and pulls Shira in for a gentle hug.

Shira wraps her arms around Elianna hesitantly. she notices her friend hug her around her neck, nearing her face towards her ear. "are you happy?" Elianna whispers directly in her ear. the secretive manner is needed as she worries.

"yeah." Shira breathes out.

"promise me."

"i promise you El."

then a gentleman walks in through the door with a briefcase, several bags and a bright bouquet of flowers. "hi my new family. i brought gifts." he announces and takes off his shoes.

at the mention of gifts, Shira's sisters run towards Shira's fiance.

Elianna takes a moment to analyse the boy who will be marrying her best friend. her eyes narrow as she stays close by Shira's side. he's tall, medium sized with a typical boyish haircut. his voice is smooth, clean cut and he's polite in manner and in language.

he doesn't say anything when his eyes land on observing Elianna. he continues to greet his new family and hands over the bouquet of dying flowers.

"is that him?" Elianna questions.

"his name is Hussain."

then Hussain smiles a brief smile, barely looking at Elianna before taking Shira's arm and leading her out of the dining room. the single Elianna is sceptical which is why she stands outside of the kitchen and eavesdrops.

"how are you? did you have a good day?"

Elianna doesn't know if she likes Hussain. her first impression of him isn't the best since he didn't make the effort to even say hello to her. his shiny briefcase and exaggerated, artificial happiness kind of ticked her off too. but now, behind the scenes, he's caring in terms of wanting to know how Shira's day went. El doesn't even know the guy and now he's marrying her best friend?

no way mate.

"so who's this then?" Elianna listens carefully as Hussain asks about her. interesting. "i want to get to know your friends, remember?" he leans against the counter and stands at a good distance from Shira.

"ah yeah." Shira mentions. "that's Elianna. she's my best friend."

Elianna throws her fist bump in the air. being called best friend by your best friend is the best feeling. her sudden joy doesn't last long...

"you have a lot of white friendships i've noticed, other than Elianna i mean..."

Hussain quickly continues, hands waving as he strokes his beard. it's not long, it's a small stubble. "there's nothing wrong with it but it's just..." he thinks, keeping his eyes on Shira who's quiet, choosing not to engage. "do your parents not mind? this is Elianna now, but who else is there? how many of them? don't you want Muslim friends?"

Elianna may have changed but she's still the same bitch with traits that make her who she is.

the dark haired female turns the corner and walks straight into the cramped kitchen. Elianna stretches out her hand, fake joy on display, "it's a pleasure to meet you." she makes sure to grin as wide as she can. "you're Hussain right? i'm Elianna and i'm here to make sure you're perfect for Shira here."

as they shake hands, Elianna's sleeve rolls down to reveal her huge tattoo and Hussain takes a double glance in shock.

//

i've missed my bitch elianna

although it's been years and they're older, everyone's still as cool and young as ever. they're all young, wild and free and that's why i love the friendships in this book bye

i'll be updating on sundays!!!!! enjoy!!!!!