Shaykh comes in the morning and, as usual, helps me get ready. My stomach is finally protesting about the lack of food its received.
"Wait here. I'll sneak something from the servants' quarters." Shaykh says me after I tell her about my food dilemma.
She returns after a few minutes with a piece of bread and an apple. The bread isn't even toasted and the apple is the smallest apple I've ever seen. But it'll do.
"Thank you." I accept the lackluster meal.
As I'm eating I remember something I meant to ask earlier. "Do you know where the stables are?"
"I'm not very good with directions so I'll escort you there."
She finishes up on my hair and I throw away the apple core and head out of the room.
"This place is a labyrinth with all these hallways. How do you find your way around?"
She gives me her usual shy smile. "It took me a while but I eventually figured it out. Though some places are completely closed off to servants."
"Must be something secretive."
"Must be." We walk in silence again until she adds something else. "You know this castle didn't always use to look this way."
"You mean dark and scary?" I say teasingly.
Shaykh's smile drops and she looks around to see if anyone else is nearby.
"The other servants, the older ones, they claim it was made of ice."
I slow down and give her a puzzled look. "Ice?"
She nods vigorously. "But- but we're not suppose to talk about those times."
It was hard to believe this castle was anything other than what it is now. I could believe it was originally a light, beautiful castle that was cursed and changed into a dark, uninviting castle. But that it was first an ice palace was a little hard to swallow.
"What do you mean by those times?" I ask.
"We cannot talk about that here." She says quickly. We increase speed and I try to keep up with the brisk pace.
We travel in silence the rest of the way to the stables.
The stables are a quiet place behind the looming castle, where there are plenty of stunning fields and thick forest.
I spot Xalale before his notices me. He's tending to a black stallion. The horse is grand and its mane dark and silky.
"What's it's name?" I say it before I can even think through what I'm doing.
Xalale doesn't seem taken by surprise, as if he already knew I was standing there.
"Atlas."
I walk to the stall where Xalale is.
"I've never noticed how massive these creatures were." I didn't mean to say that aloud, but just standing next to it made me feel small.
"Atlas is taller in stature than most, but these beast are very powerful, even the smaller ones."
As he finishes up brushing Atlas' mane, Xalale hands me a saddle and points to brown and white freckled horse.
"You can ride Valda. She's older but still runs faster than most younger ones can."
Cautiously I approach the Appaloosa. She's definitely stunning in her beauty, but the fact of the matter is that I've never been around horses before. Sure I've had my fair share of pony rides at the state fair, but when it came to adult horses I was no longer so relaxed. Even though Valda appears calm and tamed, she could toss me off and I could end up paralyzed or worse.
"Stop! You're letting your fears get the best of you."
But even as I step into the stall with her, my nerves won't settle down. Its one thing seeing these graceful creatures on the screen in Little House on the Prairie, it was a completely different story standing next to one.
"What if she sees a snake or a mouse and gets spooked? I'll lose control and she'll buck me off. Ok, it's decided, I don't want to do this."
But as I'm backing out of the stall I bump into Xalale, who has already saddled Atlas and is pulling him by the reins to the stable's entrance.
He gives me a questioning expression when he notices the saddle still in my hand.
"What's wrong?"
Biting my lip, I wonder if I should try to slide my way out of this. "I-I don't know if I want to do this. I'm kind of tired and- and riding isn't really my thing..."
"Let me help you."
I should've known that 'no' wasn't an acceptable answer when it came to what Xalale wanted to do.
Dropping Atlas' reins, he comes into the stall and tightens the saddle onto Valda. As he's doing so, my stomach becomes tighter and tighter the more I dread about riding a creature so strong and unpredictable.
"There. That should be secure." He grabs Atlas' reins and mounts the horse. "I'll lead."
I don't realize I'm biting my lip until the first taste of metallic blood oozes on the tip of my tongue.
"Wait!" I call out before he leaves the stable. Looking down at my feet, I feel sheepish. "I don't know how to ride a horse."
"No one ever taught you to ride?" I could hear the slight disbelief in his tone, which made me feel even more foolish than I felt originally.
When I don't reply he gets off and walks back over to me.
"Well then, I will be the one to teach you."
Looking up from the hay covered ground, I stare at him for a second frozen in fear. Whether he notices this fear or not, I'm guided to the side of the Appaloosa.
"First you need to mount her. Just stick your right foot in the stirrup and grab the horn to pull your other leg up and over to the other side."
I hesitate for second, but then realize there's no way out of doing this. Taking a quick breath, I stick my foot in, grab the horn, and heave myself up, tossing my other leg to the side.
Releasing my breath, I open my eyes but immediately regret it.
Correction. It was one thing standing next to a creature this big, it was a whole other story sitting on top of one.
"Ok! I'm done, I want to get off now." Panic was clearly laced in my voice.
"You're fine." Xalale was giving me an amused look.
I have a death grip on the horn.
"Now, when you want her move just nudge her side." He explains. "Hold onto the reins. When you want her to turn left, pull your left hand back a little. If you want her to turn right, do the same with your right hand."
He tights the bridle and hands me the reins. I'm trying not to hyperventilate, but being so high up and without any clue what to do, I'm already losing my cool. I don't even have a helmet.
Xalale mounts Atlas again. "Ready?"
"Is there still a possibility to say no?"
He takes my meager shrug as a 'yes' and rides out of the stables.
"Ok, Valda I'm trusting you not to kill me so lets take this nice and easy..." My voice wavers as I speak and my hands are already slick in sweat.
I give her a weak nudge in the side and when she doesn't move I nudge her a bit harder. But as soon as she begins to move, I start to freak out again. It was better when we stayed in placed.
Xalale is waiting outside the stables for me and he must sense my tension.
"Just relax."
"Easier said then done." My knuckles are ash white from gripping the reins so tight. I loosen my death grip a little and take a deep breath.
We start off into the woods. I'm worried about all the sticks and hidden rocks along the path, but I push those thought from my mind and try to concentrate on the nature around us. After a while I get use to the feeling of riding horseback. When I was little I always wanted to own and learn how to ride a horse. Every successful fairytale character had a trusty four legged companion that would help save the day. But of course my life wasn't a fairytale- still isn't- and as I got older I heard about the horrors of horse riding incidents and lost all interest in owning one or learning to ride one.
We ride in silence for about fifteen minutes until Xalale ask, "Why haven't you ever learned to ride a horse?"
"Hm?" I stop admiring the scenery and move up so we're riding side by side. "We didn't have any horses around. Plus, I don't think my parents know how to ride a horse."
He glances at me before looking at the forest. "Where are you from, Mallory?"
"Uh-oh."
"Somewhere not close by." I say trying to be as vague as possible.
"What's the province?"
"Aaledith." I use the name I remember Elvina saying.
"That's not a province that's a village." He doesn't look at me. "Why are you lying to me?"
"I'm not lying!" I reply defensively. But I already knew he was onto me.
He returns his attention back to me. "Yes you are."
He didn't sound angry, but I knew he wanted the truth. I look away from him and stare straight ahead.
"You don't even know me." I say this as confidently and as boldly as I can, holding my head high. I hear kids back at home using this phrase all the time and it usually works.
"Then tell me who you are."
I let my stubborn facade drop and face him again.
"Huh?"
His voice is its silky calm like usual. "Who are you Mallory?"
I don't know what to say so I just look back to the scenery, hoping he'll drop the matter.
"What do you like? What do you dislike?"
"I don't like people who try to pry into my life." I'm getting defensive and when I'm on guard I get snappy.
"So you get defensive when you get scared?"
"I never said that."
"You don't have to. I can tell by this conversation."
I swallow hard, hoping he can't tell how nervous I am right now.
"You're hiding something from me. Probably hiding a few things."
I break my gaze from the forest to him. His blue eyes intense and amused.
"You don't know anything about me. If I'm hiding something then that's my business not yours. I don't have to tell you anything if I don't want to." My defensive barrier could only hold so much until it broke and I got reckless in my behavior when it did.
"But you've already shown me so much about you. You care about people, nothing usually goes your way, and you are not from this place. Am I missing anything?"
"Yes, you're missing the big picture."
"Oh, and what would that be?"
I'm so frustrated, that I don't even think, I just nudge Valda roughly in the side and speed up so there's some distance between us.
I close my eyes and try to calm down. My mom always told me to count backwards from ten with my eyes closed. I just have to release all the frustration and anger pent up in me.
"Ten...nine...eight...ugh I just want to punch somebody...seven...six...five...OK this is starting to work...four...three...two-"
Something cold brushes against my cheek, interruption my thoughts. Valda begins to whine and stomp her hooves in protest. I open my eyes and turn to look at what brushed against my cheek.
My scream gets caught in my throat as I stare flabbergasted at the stiff, pale body hanging from the tree. All around me is the bodies of men, women, and child who have been hung. Their bodies dangle from the tree which they were hung from. Birds peck at the old bodies, that have been there for God only knows how long. Maggots feast upon the open wounds of flesh and burrow in the vacant eyes of the victims. But my trapped scream escapes the moment my eye catches the body of a different victim.
Scattered all around the hanging bodies are those who have been impaled. Stakes in the ground serve as the skewers to the victims who are naked and impaled. The stake enters their anus and exits through their mouths. I remember learning about Vlad the impaler and seeing drawings of his victims, but it was completely different standing in front of the real thing. My eyes can't take in what they're seeing until they land on a horrific sight.
The little girl who was the cell next to me, the one I was looking for, is stripped naked and has been impaled on sharp stake. She's so thin and pale, so badly beaten that I barely recognized her at first. Her hair- what little she had- is shaved off and covered with a dingy clothe. Slowly her eyes travel to where I am and she gives me a blank stare that sends a shiver through my body.
"She's still alive! How long has she been here? How can she still be alive."
I suddenly remember what that guard with the missing teeth said to me.
"Do you know why these prisoners scream?" I finally knew why. If this was the fate of those prisoners, then I would be screaming endlessly as well.
"Mallory."
I jump in surprise and break my gaze.
"Wha-what happened t-to these people?" I barely get through my question without my voice breaking.
Xalale joins me in the forest of death. He doesn't seem as repulsed as I am, in fact he appears rather prideful.
"They were traitors to the throne and caused a threat to me."
"Traitors?" All the breath as left my lungs. I can't seem to look away from the graphic scene even though it's burning a hole in my mind.
"I have specifically designed the stakes to impale the body without rupturing any major blood vessels, making the experience last longer than a few hours. Some have lasted for two days."
I don't know what disgusted me more. The tortured bodies or the heartless way he said this. It was so cold, so malicious, like he was proud of himself for this "accomplishment". It sicken me.
"How can a defenseless little girl prose a threat to you?" My voice was tight. Horror was turning into anger.
"There are many ways they can prose a threat. I have little patience for those who get in my way."
"So you kill them! You kill innocent children and men and women just because you feel like it!" I was enraged by this point, absolutely livid. "You don't have a soul. People's lives don't matter to you, all you care about is causing pain."
Before he can say anything else, I kick Valda in the side and she bolts from the forest.
The wind whips through my hair as she dodges the trees. We soon break out of the forest and are running through an open field. I'm still fuming as we dash through the meadow, but I start to realize that I'm going faster than I'm comfortable with. Valda is a swift horse and she runs with grace and speed- too much speed. Suddenly fear is the only emotion I'm feeling.
"I don't know how to stop her! How do I stop!?"
I try giving the reins a pull, but to no prevail. I try nudging her again, but she doesn't slow down, in fact she speeds up. Panic returns to me as I realize I no longer have control of the horse.
To make matters worst, I feel myself slipping off the saddle. My grip is as slick as butter.
"I don't want to jump. I can't jump, it'll cause too much damage. This was a stupid mistake."
The wind whistles in my ear as I lean against the horse to cause less wind resistance. The wind is so loud that I almost don't hear the sound of approaching hooves.
My death grip on the reins returns and I'm violently counting down from ten with no relief from my panic.
Atlas starts from behind, but gradually increases speed until he's neck and neck with Valda. Reaching across to seize my reins, which I reluctantly release, Xalale grabs them and pulls them back until Valda begins to lose steam and slows down. We finally slow down to a complete stop.
The moment we stop, I slide my foot out of the stirrup and lift myself off the horse. My other foot snags, resulting in me falling off. All my anger flies back to me when I look at Xalale. I just want to get away from him.
"Mallory. Are you alright?" He of course dismounted Atlas with no problem.
"You didn't tell me how to stop her!" My voice has reached the volume it rarely ever gets, the volume I used on the Richards children, except with more hostility.
He's giving me a concerned look, which only makes me more infuriated. "My apologies, it slipped my mind. But are you alright?"
"No. I'm not alright! I'm fucking pissed! You enrage me! Killing innocent people because you want to. Torturing them for crimes they didn't do. You're a psycho!"
I'm already storming away, going back in the direction I think is right, when he reaches for my hand.
With all the anger, stress of trying to get home, the fear I felt when I lost control, and the hostility that was manifesting itself in me, it probably wouldn't have mattered who was around me, I still would've snapped.
I let my fist fly faster than I could comprehend what I was doing. Xalale staggers back and I point my finger at him.
"If you fucking touch me again, I will slit your damn throat. Don't touch me."
I turn sharply on my heels and begin making my way back to the castle. I have not a clue where I'm going, but I knew I wasn't going to stay there for a second longer. My fist are clenched at my side and I can feel the heat radiating off of me. All the way back I'm counting down from ten. But it's hard to do when I'm so mad that I forget what comes after the number nine.