Alex:

"Как ты мог оставить меня? Как Алекс?" (Kak ty mog ostavit' menya? Kak Aleks?). My heart burned. It was for your best. It was for your safety. His head answered, but he couldn't talk.
I was taking Emilia to the library. I had to talk to her in private. Her face was still buried in my chest. Seeing her cry like that ripped my heart out of my chest. And I was the reason. I was the reason she cried that hard.
"It's okay, Mila. I'm here. I'm right here." The way her nickname rolled over my tongue felt nostalgic. Flashbacks of the fifteen-year-old girl who tried to make me laugh sincerely appeared in front of my eyes. She danced and sang, and she was just behaving stupidly, and I loved it. Soon she calmed down and took her arms off me. She stood up and walked the room up and down. I already missed her warm hug. Fuck, it's been six years, and I almost forgot how much I loved this girl.
"You left me, Alex. How could you leave me like that?" She pronounced my name the Russian way. It was how my mom called me. Alex, the a like in Art, not like in Apple, how it was pronounced in the US or the way my father pronounced it. If I was thinking about it, Emilia was resembling my mother in a way I never thought was possible.
„It was for your own good, Mila."
„What good did it do me? I lost you. I lost the one person I hoped to never lose. You weren't even at my wedding." The possibility of Emilia not knowing that I was at her wedding and being hurt by it on her special day, is actually hurting physically, and I need her to know that I was there and that I wouldn't have missed it.
„You don't really believe that I wasn't there, so you?"
„Raul said you would be, but I didn't see you." She sounded like a child who was disappointed by her big brother, which was basically the case with the exception of her not being a little child anymore and me not being her brother. In front of my eyes flashed Emilia in her white wedding dress, looking for someone the whole time. No, she didn't look for me. I saw her at the ceremony. She was happy. She didn't look for anyone. She was focused on Raul.
"Of course I was there, Mila. I wouldn't have missed it for the world." Her eyes got watery again.
"But I didn't see you. I was looking for you, but I didn't see you." A little sob escaped her, and I was automatically on my way to sooth her. "No! Don't touch me." I took a step back. She never rejected a soothing hug, and getting rejected by her hurt. It hurt as if I were burned alive. "I hate you, Alex Volkov!" She screamed. It wasn't like I was hearing those words out of her mouth, but for the first time, it felt like she meant them and it broke my heart. "I hate you." She repeated, softer, quieter and it shattered my heart. "I hate you." She sobbed. My heart wasn't there anymore. She turned it into confetti, but it was my fault. Mine alone. I hurt her. I broke her heart. All I wanted to do was protect her. No, she couldn't mean them. Yes, I had hurt her, but she didn't hate me. She couldn't.
"You don't mean that." All that was left of my voice was a whisper. Her eyes were shooting back at me. Her expression was hard, but when she saw my watery eyes, she got softer. I never cried, and I won't start now.
"Why did you leave me? Not only did you leave me, but you left without saying goodbye."
"Do you want to know why I couldn't say goodbye? Because you would have begged me to stay, and I would have given in. I am the source of your being in danger." And that was the truth.
"No, Alex. I got myself into that mess, you just got me out of there, and now they are after you. So it's my fault that there are people who try to kill you." No, no, and absolutely not. Emilia was not even allowed to think that. Yes, she was young and naive enough to just trust a guy she had a crush on, but I didn't have to do what I did after that.
"Don't you dare think that, Mila." Her gaze met the floor. I walked up to her and took her face in my hands. "Look at me, if something bad ever happens to me, it will never be your fault. It would be mine and mine alone. Even if that asshole kills me. It is not your fault. It is mine, do you understand? It is mine because I killed his son. You didn't kill him. I did."
"But I was dating him. He got me in that mess, and they did things, and you had to get me out of that mess. You killed him because of me."
"Stop that now. Stop talking nonsense. It is my fault. Mine. Mine. Mine." With every Mine my face got closer to hers until I took her into my arms and she started to cry again. I caressed her hair. "It's okay, Milaya, it's okay. Never worry about me. Always worry about yourself, and now you have a son you have to worry about. Just forget me."
"No, don't you dare ask me for that nonsense, please. You are the most important person to me. You've been there since I was fifteen. Then you left five years later. It's been six years. Please, Alex, that was enough time, please."
"No, sweetheart, I have to protect you, and I can only do that if I leave you." Emilia stiffened. She stood up and walked out of the room. I got up quickly. No, no, no. She can't leave. Not like that at least. I was running after her. She was already at the door when she turned around.
"No, Alex, or I'm staying in your life. No leaving anymore,or I'm gone for good. No halfsies. No being there and then leaving suddenly. Or you are there,or you are not. You have three seconds to decide, or else I'm gone." Astonishment overcomes me. I won't let her go. I would never again. Not now, not ever. Leaving her again? I couldn't do it. I left her once, and part of my heart was left with her, and if I'm hundred percent honest, also with Raul. I didn't want her to leave me again. I grabbed her wrist when she turned back to the door and took her back into my arms.
"Don't leave again. Promise you won't leave." She muttered.
"I promise." I promise to never leave you again. I promise to never hurt you again. I promise to not get killed by this asshole so you won't feel guilty.