Conflicted

Y/n was sitting on the couch, reading the book Tomura had lent her. She was a little past halfway through, but she found herself rereading the same page over and over. Her mind was frequently slipping out of the book, and she'd find herself thinking back to the festival.

Tomura was so charming that night and y/n couldn't wrack her brain about how that was the same Tomura. If it weren't for the fact that she saw it with her own eyes, she wouldn't have believed it. Just thinking about how sweet he was made y/n's heart flutter.

Even after the festival, Tomura has maintained that level of sweetness that he showed at the festival. Once, Tomura had brought her a f/f. Y/n had no idea how he managed to get it. At first, she was worried he killed someone over obtaining a flower for her. Still, she hadn't seen anything about any Tomura related deaths lately.

He seemed to have taken more interest in learning about her. However, y/n was never sure if Tomura genuinely enjoyed learning about her likes and dislikes. Part of y/n believed he was just bored and wanted something to do.

The blue-haired villain was sitting at his computer. Every so often, she would peek up from her book and look over to him. Sometimes she'd just watch him work. Y/n would find herself noticing little things about him that she hadn't seen before.

Y/n recently caught herself studying how he holds things and learning which fingers he typically lifted to combat his quirk. She noticed that he lifted different fingers, depending on which hand he was using. On his right hand, he would usually raise either his middle or his little finger, but on his left hand, he most often lifted his index finger. The only constant exception to that rule was when he played video games. Whenever he holds his controller, he usually lifted his index fingers on both hands.

When she wasn't studying Tomura, she'd try to take a glance over to his computer screen. However, she couldn't quite make out what he was looking at. She leaned forward and squinted her eyes. However, it was no use, y/n couldn't see what he was reading. Giving up, she slumped back into the couch and rested the book on her knees.

A few moments passed, and y/n managed to force herself back into the fantasy world of the book. Y/n read three full chapters before her concentration drifted once again. Her eyes traveled up towards Tomura's computer. Suddenly, she realized the villain wasn't sitting at his desk.

A pair of arms wrapped around her neck. Y/n could feel Tomura's cheek pressed against her temple. Her face reddened as she realized how Tomura has a babyface. His cheek felt so soft against her head. She couldn't help but think how cute it was.

"Can I help you?" Y/n asked after calming down her heart.

Tomura let go of y/n and jumped over the couch's back and landed on a cushion. "I just saw what page you're on," he replied. He leaned in close to continue looking at the book in her hand. "Oh, okay. I know where you're at now."

"Well, you know you could always read with me. Ah- if you want." Y/n held out the book, so it was easier for Tomura to see.

"Ahh, no thanks," Tomura replied; "I can't say I have the patience to reread that one."

Y/n gave him a nod and looked back down at her book. In the corner of her eye, she could see Tomura messing with father. He was mindlessly poking at the disembodied hand's fingers. He let out a sigh and placed it off to the side. Y/n gave him a warm smile. "Someone sounds bored."

"Yeah, a little," he replied; "I ran out of games to play, and The League shouldn't be doing anything for at least a few more days."

Y/n paused and gave it some thought. "Why don't we go out and buy you a new game then?" She thought it would be good to force Tomura outside every once and awhile. Even though he seemed to be okay sitting inside all day, y/n was convinced getting some fresh air was good for him.

Y/n watched Tomura hold a lock of light blue hair between his thumb and index finger as he ran his ring finger along with his hair's tips. "I dunno," he sighed. Y/n asked one more time in a much more playful tone. Tomura's eyes met hers. "I guess." Y/n could hear the reluctance in his voice.

The villain got up and grabbed his coat. Y/n excitedly jumped to her feet and waited for Tomura by the front door. Tomura looked down at y/n with a small smile on his face. Y/n could feel her heart skip a beat.

Tomura reached out and cupped her face in his hands. He made sure to leave all of his fingers off of her. "Your face is awfully red, you know?" he said mockingly. Tomura's comment made y/n's blush grow deeper.

Y/n studied his face, slowly memorizing every little detail that caught her eye. Tomura leaned forward and placed his lips on hers. Y/n was shocked, but she couldn't help but kiss him back. Almost as if instinct, she closed her eyes and felt his lips on hers. Y/n ran her fingers through his hair and slid them down to his neck. Her heart felt like it was going to burst right out of her chest.

Y/n opened her eyes to see the ceiling above her. She sat up and rubbed her eyes before placing a hand on her chest. Her heart was still rattling around inside her chest. She glanced over to Nobuo, who was vacantly staring at her from the foot of her bed.

Y/n has never been so relieved to find out she was dreaming. She sighed and calmed her nerves. It felt so real.

"You cannot be any louder back there," Tomura groaned from the couch. Y/n could see him resting his head on the armrest, his forearm covered his eyes.

Y/n cleared her throat. "W-was I?" she asked. She began feeling flustered yet again. "Did I... did I wake you up?"

"Yes," he replied in a straightforward tone. Y/n nervously apologized for waking Tomura up. "Why were you making all that noise for anyway?" Fearing what Tomura was going to say, y/n hesitated before asking him what kind of noises was she making. "I don't know. Moaning?"

Y/n laid back down and covered herself with the thin blanket. That's it. I'm ready to die. Maybe I can convince Tomura to shake my hand or something, she thought to herself.

Trying to think of a bright side to this awkward situation, she decided she should be thankful that she didn't say anything embarrassing in her sleep. Y/n couldn't even imagine what Tomura would think if his name or any context from her dream had slipped out of her mouth.

Her unease was immediately disrupted by seeing a shadow looming over her. "What's up with you?" Tomura asked.

"N-nothing," y/n replied from under the blanket. Y/n let out a sigh and pulled the blanket off her head. Y/n sat up, her eyes were fixated on her hands. Tomura knelt down on the ground next to her. He asked her what she was dreaming about. Y/n's face turned beet red. "Ah, I think it was more like a nightmare."

"About?" he asked.

Y/n looked over his face. "I-I uh...do I have to?"

Tomura paused and looked at y/n. Y/n could see Tomura scan her face. She noticed his eyes narrowed at her. "No. Not if you don't want to." He stood up and wandered over to the couch. "I'm going back to sleep. Keep it down this time."

Y/n felt a sense of relief. She was glad Tomura didn't press her on it any further. Otherwise, she would have been forced to lie to Tomura about it. There was no way she'd ever tell him or anyone else about her dream.

She reached out for the stuffed f/a sitting in the corner of the mattress and cuddled it in her arms. She recalled her dream in vivid detail. Just thinking about it made her skin crawl. That was a can of worms y/n had no intention of ever opening. Y/n felt terrible for even letting her subconscious go there.

Y/n stood up and slowly wandered to Tomura. He was sound asleep. She held her breath as she carefully made her way to the front door. The click of the door unlocking may as well sounded like an explosion. She turned around and looked over her shoulder to Tomura. Still asleep.

Y/n swung open the door and peered outside. This is the first time she's seen the other side of the front door. Kurogiri has always transported y/n everywhere, and she never had a chance to go outside on her own so far. 

It looked like the hideout was a small duplex. Y/n looked over to the door next to her and wondered if they've had neighbors this whole time. No, if we did, they would have complained by now, she decided. Surely if someone were living next door, they would have been at least a little curious whenever Tomura raised his voice.

Y/n noticed the sound of something sharp dragging on wood. She turned around again to see Nobuo slowly wandering towards her. She crossed her arms to resemble an X and shook her head. The monster, not understanding her nonverbal command, continued to walk towards her.

She glanced outside. There was no way she could let Nobuo out, someone might see him and freak out. Y/n quickly slid out the front door. She could hear Nobuo's claws dragging along the door. She walked down to the porch and sat down at the top steps.

Y/n examined the area, it appeared to be an average town. Nothing particularly stood out to her, other than the fact that the streets were relatively empty. There weren't any people walking on the sidewalk. If it weren't for the occasional car, y/n would have assumed the whole town was abandoned.

This is the first semblance of privacy she's gotten since Tomura dragged her to his hideout. This was what y/n needed. It took her mind off everything. The League, Tomura, and all the death she's seen so far. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she could breathe and think. Y/n breathed in the cold mid-day air and watched a collection of brown and yellow leaves get swept up by a small gust of wind.

She just realized that she has been locked away in the hideout for much longer than she thought. When Tomura left her with Dabi, it was late Spring. This was definitely a brisk Autumn day. "That means..." her voice trailed off while she thought about it and did the math. "It had to have been at least four months now."

Y/n felt both grateful to still be alive and anxious about all the lost days she'll never get back. Her mind began to daydream, she theorized what she would be doing right now had she never met Tomura. A small smile crossed her lips when she came to the conclusion that she'd probably be doing the same thing, sitting on a porch daydreaming. The only difference is that she'd be holding a cup of tea or hot chocolate in her hands.

Y/n began to reminisce. "Right about this time of day, Aya would be trying to get to work on time. She's always running late." Y/n thought about Aya a lot and often wondered if Aya thought about her anywhere near as much.

The leaves were scattering about reminded y/n of all the neighborhood kids. She missed their Summer break. Every Summer, right after work, she would see them running around by her house. The neighborhood kids weren't around often while school was in session, so seeing them during Summer was like looking at snapshots of them growing up.

She leaned forward and rested her forearms on her legs. She tried thinking up other possible scenarios for the y/n in another timeline. Her hometown was a sleepy little town where nothing particularly remarkable ever happens, so there wasn't really much to guess. She was sure things would be exactly how she left it. Everyone would just be a few months older.

Tomura's eyes shot open as he glanced over to the Nomu lightly scratching at the door. The blue-haired villain rolled over. "Hey, get your Nomu," he called out. No response. Tomura grumbled to himself and sat up, wondering what he did to deserve the silent treatment this time around. He looked over to the mattress. "Hey, I said, get your Nomu."

A chill ran down Tomura's spine as soon as he realized she wasn't on the mattress. It felt like his heart stopped. He pulled out his phone and navigated through it.

When he was designing the locket, Kurogiri suggested adding a tracking device that he could follow from his phone. Tomura felt relieved he decided to take Kurogiri's suggestion. As he waited for his cell to pick up her signal, Tomura could feel his blood boiling.

Just outside the front door? He questioned. Tomura wondered if y/n left the locket by the front door and ran for it. The blue-haired villain walked up to the door and took a deep breath. He needed to calm his temper. He could feel his neck beginning to burn, Tomura fought every urge to start clawing at his throat. The villain reminded himself that y/n isn't allowed to see him mad. 

Y/n heard the door open. She held her breath when she realized Tomura had most likely woken up. Y/n sat motionless at the front porch and waited for Tomura to explode at her.

Tomura crouched down next to her. "So, what are we looking at?"

"Oh, nothing. Just needed some fresh air." Y/n couldn't tell if Tomura was mad or not. She decided she might as well try to smooth things over before he starts yelling. "I-I probably should have said something before going. I'm s-sorry."

Tomura paused and sat down completely. "Your probationary punishment has been done for a while. It doesn't matter."

Y/n didn't believe Tomura. She was promised she could leave the hideout and go back home when probation was over. "So... if I wanted to go home, I can?"

"If you truly want to." Y/n thought his tone sounded odd. She couldn't place what exactly was so off about it, though.

"I do." Y/n went silent for a while, staring at the clouds up above. The expression on her face changed from content to sadness. "I can't, though, can I?"

His eyes narrowed as he looked at the somber expression on her face. "What do you mean?"

"I'd be questioned about IronStrike if I go back home. If they question me, I'll tell everyone what happened. They'll know he died because of me. Considering the circumstances, I don't think I'll get into any trouble with the law, but it might still happen. The story will probably be exaggerated by the media. In the end, people will probably act like I was the one who killed him." Tomura could hear the worry in y/n's voice as she talked. "I don't want to live like that. I don't have anywhere to go. I've lost everything."

"Don't you ever listen?" Tomura snapped. Y/n kept her eyes on the clouds and asked what he meant by that. "I told you when you first joined that The League will be your new family. Quit throwing yourself a pity party, you have a place to stay, and you haven't lost everything."

Y/n rested her head on her hands. She didn't know how to feel. Y/n didn't want to warm up to Tomura, but she was starting to feel like it was happening regardless. Suddenly, y/n felt like she was losing her own free will.

Tomura raised an eyebrow. "You've been acting weird all day."

Y/n could feel her limbs stiffen. "What do you mean?" she asked, frozen in place.

"You had a nightmare earlier today. Since you've been out here, you haven't even looked at me. You're usually good at looking at people in the face when you talk to them." Shigaraki cocked his head to the side. Y/n had to admit that he might be socially awkward, but he was certainly good at picking up on little details no one should notice. "Was I in your nightmare or something?"

Y/n froze. She didn't want to talk to Tomura about this. Without thinking about it, she bit her lip and smiled at him. "N–"

Tomura cut her off. "Don't you dare lie to me. I saw your tell."

Y/n's face went emotionless for a moment. "I'm no–"

Once again, Tomura stopped her from that thought. "There you go. You're doing it again." Y/n furrowed her brows, that time she was sure she held a straight face. "If you're going to lie to me, at least try to make it seem genuine."

"I..." her voice trailed off, y/n was at a loss for words. This was a new experience. She's never been called out for lying before.

Tomura sat up straight. "So that nightmare was about me, huh?" he paused; "that's fine. I deserve it. I've caused you so much hurt, I think an occasional nightmare featuring me is fair."

Y/n stared at him. Time and time again, she expected Tomura to lose his temper. Each and every time, he's proven to be more level headed than she has given him credit for.

That part of Tomura, his patience, reminded y/n of herself. It was a part of Tomura that no one seemed to think exists even though it's always been there. The same could be said about y/n's honestly. She very rarely lied. However, once anyone learns the nature of her quirk, her honesty doesn't exist in their eyes.

Y/n hated that she and Tomura had yet another thing in common. She didn't want to identify with Tomura. She felt more and more like an awful person every time she found another trait she and Tomura shared.

"If you don't want to tell me about it, just tell me. You don't have to lie about something that stupid." Tomura scolded lightly.

Y/n frowned. For whatever reason, she genuinely felt terrible. "Sorry," she said quietly; "I-I don't want to talk about it."

Tomura crossed his arms. "If you change your mind, then let me know." Tomura stood up and stretched. "I'm going inside. This is enough fresh air for me. If you're going to wander around, don't go too far." Before y/n could say anything, Tomura walked inside and closed the door behind him.

Tomura laid down on the couch, resting his head on the armrest, and stared at his phone. He observed the little f/c dot on his phone blink in its place. Tomura watched the small dot like a hawk, waiting to see if she'd move. He knew exactly where the nearest police station and hero agency was. Tomura decided he and Kurogiri would act if she wandered too close to either of those locations.

After several hours, he saw the dot beginning to move. Much to his surprise, the dot was moving closer to the center of his phone's screen. She was coming back inside.

Tomura quickly closed the little custom made app on his cell and put the phone away. His handheld was tucked away between the couch cushions. Tomura reached in and pulled out his game, turning it on before y/n came inside.

He heard y/n quietly close the door. "Welcome back," he greeted.

"Ah- thank you," y/n replied shyly. Y/n passed by Tomura and sat down on the mattress. "Nobuo, come," he heard her call out.

Tomura watched her allow the Nomu to lay down on the ground and rest its head on her lap. He could see the look of confusion on her face as she tried to find a decent place to pat the monster. Y/n seemed to settle just shy of the Nomu's exposed brain.

The villain wondered what kind of nightmare she had. He considered it could have been one where he kills her, that would make a lot of sense, but he hadn't threatened to kill y/n in months. His eyes were glued to the girl and Nomu while his mind explored other possibilities.

He remembered that y/n still owed him a favor from the festival. Tomura shook the thought from his head. He wouldn't use that favor for something as stupid as having her tell him about a nightmare.

Tomura had other things to think about for now. He had told y/n that her probation was officially over. He had to start including y/n into The League lest she decides to leave his hideout.

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