Guilt.

All I am is guilt.

Scar crouches in front of us. He doesn't seem to notice me, sobbing. I can't look away from Cub's body. Bleeding. Pain still crosses his face. 

I blink way. On the other side of the room, there's another body. Another person.

A Watcher.

I refuse to connect the dots. 

It can't have- no- they wouldn't...

But Cub's a vexling.

But he didn't do anything wrong.

But... he's a vexling. He's violent. Dangerous...

BUT HE WAS INNOCENT.

'Scar...' My voice comes out, hoarse. 'I- I thought... I thought... it was lying...'

He freezes. For a moment he just lies there, breathing ragged, pained. 

'I'm...'

'GET OUT!' His fury overwhelms everything. Tears prick my eyes, guilt drowning me.

'Scar- I'm sorry...'

'GET OUT OF MY BASE NOW!' He spins to face me, hands glowing with magic. Tears streak his bloodstained face. For a moment his eyes flash blue. Anger, pain, an emptiness nothing will ever fill...

For a moment I just stare at him as he collapses to the ground again, sobs of pure grief again.

I run.

Tears blur my vision as I take to the air, flying anywhere that isn't there. Isn't with people. I can't get the images out of my head... Cub's body... And Scar's expression. Emotion the Watchers told me Vexlings couldn't have. Grief I was told didn't exist... That they like pain, and chaos and... And...

But it's all wrong.

But it can't be.

But it must be.

BUT THEY CAN'T BE WRONG-

I don't see the building until I crash into a tangle of redstone. A hiding place. Somewhere no one will find me. Somewhere to think and calm down... But every time I close my eyes, the accusation and pain and everything in Scar's expression comes to mind. Why did the Watchers kill Cub? What did he do? Everything I know about Cub and Vexlings in general tells me he could've easily angered the watchers enough to provoke attack.

But I don't know that he did.

But he must've done.

Because the watchers are just. They make the right decisions...

But they destroyed Evo.

But that's just what Jimmy and Martyn think.

'Grian?' I freeze as someone drops down next to me. Etho. 'Why are you... In my item sorter?'

I can't reply. As much as I try to utter a response, a lie, something that'll get him to go, nothing comes out my mouth. I can't get Cub out my mind. The flashes of Vexlings I saw trapped in the watcher lands... I vomit. My hands shake, a I crouched curled up there, trying to get the images of my mind. Etho's at my side in seconds.

'Grian... Oh my goodness... It's ok...' I don't feel comforted. I can't say anything except the cold, harsh truth.

'Cub's dead.'

He hugs me as I start sobbing. I hug back, wings curled around me. The truth that this is my fault sticks in my mind and with it a deep self-loathing. I push Etho away. I don't deserve hugs.

'This is my fault.' I choke out. 'Why are you hugging me?'

'...Grian?' Etho frowns. Tears shine in his eyes.

'This is my fault! Because- I trusted them. And not it. Him. Him and Scar. And they killed him.'

'Scar... Killed...'

'The Watchers!' I snap. 'And he didn't do anything wrong!'

'Do you want me to find X... Or Mumbo...' Etho stands. I grab his hand.

'Stay. Tell me... Tell me what you think. About the Watchers.'

'The Watchers...' Etho's eyes widen, confusion and pain filling them. I catch a reflection of myself in them. Desperate. Mad. Scared. Scared of being alone. Scared of being wrong, but desperate to know if I am. 'The Watchers are... Confusing.'

'Are they good? Please...please... I need to know.'

'They... No. No, Grian, the watchers aren't good.'

The Watchers aren't good.

I let Etho go. He doesn't move.

'Ok.' I murmur. 'Thank you.' Tears fill my eyes. The cold truth I can't deny, even though I've been trying to.

The Watchers aren't good.

I sob, and then I can't stop. Etho crouches down next to me, and hugs me again. I can tell he's putting something in chat over my shoulder.

'I... I've told Mumbo to come. That's all. Privately.'

All I can do is nod, keeping hugging Etho. He doesn't speak. A few minutes later, there's a sound of fireworks, and someone lands next to me. And then immediately after, someone else.

I stiffen. The only person I want to see is Mumbo.

'I... I was already on the way to finding Xisuma... I just... NPG found me and... Told me...' Mumbo explains. A pause. 'I know about Cub.'

I hug Etho even tighter at his name.

'It's- it's all my fault...'

'Grian, it's not your fault.' Mumbo sinks to the ground next to me, joining in the hug.

'We don't blame you.' Agrees X.

'You don't know that... You... you don't know that.'

'Grian, seriously.'

'YOU WEREN'T THERE!' Mumbo falls silent. 'You didn't see... You didn't see me refusing... Refusing to help... Didn't believe... I didn't believe NPG.' The moment rises in my mind again. His insistence. My refusal to help. I saw he was hurt. I knew he was hurt and thought... What? What did I even think?

'Grian.' I flinch as Xisuma puts a hand on my shoulder. 'It's ok.'

'The Watchers are bad.' I mumble back. 'Why didn't I realise...'

'Grian... This isn't your fault. Everyone makes mistakes.'

'They- they're f***ing evil.' I can't stop the train of thought I've been denying for so long. 'They're so f***ing evil... They...' I start crying again. Mumbo and Etho both hug me.

'Does Scar know?'

His face appears in my mind again and I sob even more. His expression... How could I believe Vexlings were evil? How could I believe SCAR was evil?!

'Scar know... he's put a magical barrier all around his base. To stop anyone from trying to talk to him.' Mumbo explains. 'NPG says he tried to fight the Watchers... But it was too late.'

'I'm so stupid...' I mumble. 'If I'd gone back... If I'd been there I could've helped and... And I might've saved him...'

'Grian, it's not your fault.'

'I killed Doc for them!' Another realisation. 'Oh- oh Notch I killed Doc defending their honour after they killed Bdubs and... And...' I break out the hug just in time to vomit again.

'You didn't realise.'

A shout from above, and someone crash-lands.

'Xisuma we caught a Watch- what happened?' Jimmy's voice tone switches to concern. I shrink down further.

'Someone died... What happened with the watcher.'

'Me and Martyn... Martyn sensed a watcher on the server... We managed to catch it... It was hurt...'

'Where?' Anger fills my voice. All I can think is revenge

'And... They're...'

'They're what?' Jimmy takes a deep breath.

'It's Pearl.'