I'm trying everything I can to go on with my life, since returning from Grenada. Even been on a couple of dates, but no one is him. No one makes me feel the excitement that he did. Unfortunately, dating isn't doing anything for me, so I decide to throw myself into my work but the long hours and late nights in the lab have done nothing either. I can't find anything or anyone to dull the ache I feel inside. It's a struggle for me to not call Nicole, to not find out how to reach him. But I refuse.

It's been two months. In fact, it's exactly two months to the day, that I last saw him. He's probably gone on with his life, but I can't seem to do the same. How can one vacation of fun and sex ruin a person, you ask? I'll tell you how, if that vacation of fun and sex is with fucking Solomon Richardson that's how. He has clearly ruined me and I'm starting to hate him for it. I feel like every man I encounter; I automatically size them up and proceed to compare them to him and it's starting to really piss me off. I hate the way I still yearn for him, how I can't even satisfy my needs myself anymore. No number of battery-operated devices can quell my need, like Solomon can. Damn you, Solomon!

Well shit! Now I've lost my focus and I'm accomplishing absolutely nothing. Throwing my papers and laptop into my bag, I decide to head home for the night. It's the weekend anyway and this time I promised myself, I wouldn't work all weekend.

I stop to pick up some Japanese hibachi for my dinner, before heading in to a nice soothing shower and a glass of merlot. I just sit down to eat, when I hear my phone ringing upstairs. Eh, it can go to voicemail. I need silence this weekend. But just as it stops ringing, it rings again. Taking the stairs as quickly as I can, I dive across the bed to grab my phone from the bedside table. It's Nicole.

"Hi Nicole, honey, is everything ok?"

"Victoria, hi! Yes of course...sorry if I alarmed you. Um...I was just calling to make sure you were coming to our wedding celebration on Sunday. You are coming right?"

Shit. I completely forgot about that. "Uh...I'm not sure I'll be able to make it Nicole. I have a lot going on at work...there are so many deadlines that I'm dealing with right now. I seriously don't think I can make that happen. I'm really sorry."

"Oh Victoria, please? You have to come."

And the line is silent.

"Look, Devin will kill me but..." she pauses. "Solomon hasn't been himself since we got back and I uh...well I was hoping maybe you could come to the party and maybe...you know, maybe it would help to pick his spirits up. I'm sure he will be so happy to see you."

Happy to see me?

"Nicole, I'm sorry but if Solomon really wanted to see me, he could've figured out how to get in touch with me, don't you think?"

She sighs. "Yes, you're right but...well, I really hope you change your mind. We would love to see you and I'm sure Solomon would too. Please Victoria, please just think about it."

"I'll think about it Nicole but I'm not sure it's a good idea."

Hanging up, I almost want to throw my phone. I don't want to see him and clearly he's not interested in seeing me.

Burying my face into the mattress, I scream. Damn it. She's going to make me feel bad if I don't come, isn't she?

I have no desire whatsoever, to attend that party. Absolutely none because of course he will be there. It's at their damn clubhouse for fuck's sake. Well shit...now I have to figure out how to handle this.