I have a death grip on the steering wheel, and I can't stop my body from shaking. Why am I reacting like this? I got what I asked him for, didn't I? A fun time, 'with no inhibitions'? Stupid me, why did I think I could keep my emotions out of it?

Ugh...so so stupid! 

Going straight inside to the kitchen, I pour myself a large glass of wine and head upstairs for bed. Just as I step into my closet, my cell phone rings. Ignoring it, I continue changing my clothes, but it starts to ring non-stop.

I creep up to my bedside table slowly, like I'm scared of it, and just stare at the phone because my gut is telling me that I already know who it is. I dive under the covers, like I'm on some special ops mission, hoping the phone will self-destruct or something. Peeking out, I sigh in relief. Since it's not ringing, I feel like it's safe to come out and reach for my glass and damn, if it doesn't ring again. Reaching for it, I now have 6 missed calls from a number I don't recognize...but I already know.

It's him.

Shit shit shit!

Should I answer it? No, I shouldn't.

I've said all I need to say.

But...maybe...

Oh man, it rings again.

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes as my finger hovers over the ignore button. Ugh...shit!

"Hello?"

"Victoria?" A smooth voice coats my ear, like whiskey and honey.

My heart is palpitating in my chest, like I just finished running 10 miles on the treadmill.

The voice that comes from me, is a little soft, a little breathy and a lot nervous. "Solomon?"

He releases a big sigh and my heart melts. "Victoria, please talk to me. I need to talk to you," he pauses before adding, "Please."

"Ok Solomon...ok." I'm not sure he even heard me...for some reason my voice is non-existent.

"Ok? Um...ok...great but look Victoria, don't be upset with Nicole, ok?" He takes a deep breath and then goes on, "I kind of forced her to give me your info, which may or may not include your address." 

He pauses, waiting for a reaction, but I don't say anything, so he plows on. "I would really like to talk face to face...is that ok? Can I come over?"

Oh shit...what? Face to--- 

Well, great, now my heart stops completely, and I think I need to be resuscitated, STAT.

"Victoria?"

"Yes, I'm here. Um...you want to come over? Like...now??"

"Yeah, if that's ok?" He's nervous, hell, glad it's not just me.

I don't know what to say, so I don't' say anything.

"Victoria?"

Say something Victoria.

"Um...oh...um...ok Solomon, yes you can."

Noooo, what did you go and say that for?

Solomon's voice seems to be laced with relief. "Great. Fantastic...um...thank you Tori. I'll see you soon."

Flipping the covers back, I toss my phone on the bed. Oh my God...what the hell was I thinking? 'Ok Solomon...you can come over'? Seriously? Hmm...maybe when he rings the bell, I'll act like I fell back to sleep. That's it. I'll ignore the bell and then he'll call, and I'll ignore that too. Yeah, that's it...act like I didn't hear a thing.

Oh Victoria, grow up. You told the man he could come over so don't go running scared now. I look down at myself. Ugh! I never should've agreed to this but since I did, I guess I shouldn't open the door with my nipples pointing at him. Rolling my eyes to myself, I walk into the closet.

Yanking a dresser drawer open, I dig for some decent leggings without holes and a cropped tee and throw those on. Oh right...a bra too. I reach for a comb to run through my hair and glance at myself in the mirror. My mind is all over the place, trying to come up with all of the reasons he wants to see me. Why didn't he try to contact me when he got back? Does he want to continue where we left off? He was all hugged up with someone else so what could he possibly want from me?

My hands are shaking and my nerves...oh my God! Dammit Tori, get it together. Letting out an exasperated scream, I attempt to convince myself that it's going to be alright and do some deep cleansing breaths.

Slowly, I make my way downstairs and toss back the last of my wine.

I think I need a little more in my glass before I have a panic attack.