The past few months have been a massive rollercoaster, but Nicole has been my rock. After discovering that Ethan wasn't mine, I initially went into a bit of a depression. I didn't want to do anything or go anywhere. Everyone was worried, hell so was I for a time, but Nicole was ever present. She made me get up every day, she made me get dressed to go to work, she and Prez forced me out of the house to handle club business but that was it. All I did was work and go home but my girl stayed by my side, talking me through. There were a few times that I could tell she was a little worried too, but we got through it. Together. All of my tears, all of my yelling at her, when I knew it had nothing to do with her, she was there. Never once did she break and, God, I love her for it. Sometimes, being in the same room with her is enough to keep me balanced. We pretty much live together now...it just kind of worked out that way. I still have my condo, but Jack and I are at her place most of the time. Jack loves her yard and me...well, I just love her.

We flew out to see Ethan a month after getting the DNA results. The stress of seeing Mr. and Mrs. Rodriguez for the first time was smoothed over, having Nicole by my side. Lauren stayed away, which worked best for everyone and honestly, I'm happy to not have to deal with her at all anymore. Anything concerning Ethan, will be communicated with Mr. and Mrs. R. and they are in full agreement that I will remain present in Ethan's world. Unfortunately, Lauren refuses to pursue the other guy, which is really fucked up, but I know her parents will get her together to make it happen. Ethan deserves to at least know, and so does his father. Hopefully, the guy won't be an ass and will be a good father figure. I won't stand in the way, but Ethan will always have me. We have continued with our video calls, I read stories to him some nights and sometimes I just listen to his 2-year-old rant about what massive thing happened at pre-school. I will continue to provide financial support for anything he needs.

Christmas is approaching, and we plan to spend two weeks before Christmas with Ethan. Even though Nicole told me she would be alright with Christmas Day in California, I don't want to pull her from her family. The plan is to fly back right before Christmas Eve so we can spend time with our families, and then I'm surprising Nicole with a trip up to the mountains in Vermont, for New Year's Eve, just the two of us.