Chapter 34

"Hindi mo ba puwedeng tigilan ang pag-inom mo?"

Nag-angat ng tingin si Alas, mula sa pagkakayuko sa kaniyang laptop. His intense gaze burned me, before he knitted his eyebrows in confusion.

Umayos ako ng upo sa sofa, ramdam ang bahagyang pananakit ng aking likod. I rested my hands on my swelling tummy, now on its seventh month, and stared at my husband.

"Ayoko lang na nakikita ka ni Zeus na umiinom palagi. Baka gayahin ka niya pagkalaki niya."

Alas chuckled. Pinasadahan nito ng mga daliri ang kaniyang buhok at ibinaba ang ballpen na hawak. Lazy days like this are spent inside his study, lalo pa ngayo't dalawang buwan nalang ay manganganak na ako. I frowned at him, knowing that he's not going to take this seriously.

"Baby, if there's something that Zeus would surely take after me, it's my being a magnet to women," then he winked at me.

See!

Sinamaan ko ng tingin si Alas. Kung maaabot ko pa lang itong mga libro sa likod ko ay kanina ko na ibinato sa kaniya. I frowned some more.

"No, seriously. I don't want Zeus to grow up thinking like it's okay to smoke and drink."

Unti-unti nang nawala ang mapaglarong ngiti sa mukha ni Alas nang mapagtantong seryoso nga ako sa sinasabi ko. He cleared his throat and got up from his desk. Nilapitan inya ako at naupo sa tabi ko. Nanatili akong nakasimangot.

"Alright. I will not drink when Zeus is around..." he whispered huskily, leaning towards me. Humaplos ang kaniyang kamay sa aking bilugang tiyan, marahan at banayad. "You're right. You've got a point."

Numipis lang ang labi ko. I'm not sure if he's going to follow me. Baka mamaya eh daanin niya na naman sa pang-aakit niya, gaya ng palagi niyang ginagawa kapag seryosong mga bagay ang pinag-uusapan naming dalawa.

"Lumalaki na si Zeus, Alas. Soon, he'd grow older and start to explore... things. The only things that I want him to hold is his piano and guitar. Ayokong makita ang anak kong nagbubulakbok, lalo pa't lalaki yan,"

Ngumisi si Alas sa akin at hinalik-halikan ang tungki ng ilong ko. He's very careful not to hit my belly with his hips.

"Don't worry. I'll be a good father to our son."

Inirapan ko siya. "All you do is spoil him whenever I leave him with you. Akala mo hindi ko alam? Sinumbong sa akin ni Krista noong isang araw na hinayaan mo siyang uminom ng softdrinks kahit inuubo siya!"

Bahagyang namutla si Alas sa sinabi ko, bago muling ngumisi at umiling-iling. "It's just a sip, baby..."

"Baby-hin mo mukha mo," itinulak ko palayo ang kaniyang mukha at inaatake na naman ako ng iritasyon.

He chuckled and pulled me closer for a hug. Ever since I got pregnant, Alas stopped wearing his usual perfume. Naduduwal kasi ako kapag naaamoy ko iyon. He tried other brands but it also makes my stomach churned in disgust. Kaya sa huli'y tinigilan niya na rin ang pagpapabango. His natural manly scent is enough to attract hordes of women. At mas gusto ko iyon kesa sa artipisyal na pabangong kumakapit sa balat niya.

"Ayokong lumaki si Zeus na basagulero. Good God, baka mabaliw ako kapag nalaman kong ang anak ko ay nagc-cutting class para lang uminom o di kaya'y manigarilyo!" tapos sinamaan ko ng tingin si Alas.

"I don't want my son breaking hearts, too."

Napakamot sa batok si Alas. Then he grinned at me. "What can I say? Mana sa akin si Zeus. He's a natural lady killer, babe." He winked at me.

Suminghap ako. Wala talaga kaming matinong pag-uusap ng Ferrer na ito!

"Bumalik ka na nga sa pagsusulat sa RRL bago pa ako mainis sa iyo..."

"Ang sungit talaga ng buntis ko..." bulong-bulong niya. He pulled away from me and without warning, took his shirt off. Kumunot kaagad ang noo ko sa ginawa ng asawa. Umigting ang maskulado nitong katawan. Gamit ang shirt na hinubad ay ipinunas niya ito sa pawis sa kaniyang leeg at dibdib bago niya inilagay sa sofa at nagtungo sa desk.

"What are you doing?"

He just grinned boyishly at me before grabbing his laptop. Bumalik siya sa sofa at doon naupo.

"I want to work near my wife."

Inikutan ko siya ng mata pero walang sinabi. Itinabi ko lang ang paa ko para may espasyo pa sa malaki niyang katawan na inokupa ang dulo ng sofa. Placing his laptop on his thighs, he gently pulled my sore feet and placed it on his torso. Nagtaas ako ng kilay sa kaniya.

"Stop worrying about our son, Belle. Nakita ko kung paano niya tinatrato si Zoey and I think he would grow up to be such a gentleman. Zeus wouldn't hurt any woman just to feed his need of entertainment. He didn't grow up in that environment, Belle. Our son is smart, and he knows what a man ought to do."

This is when I finally shut my mouth. What he said hit me like a bullet. I stared at my husband in fascination. He grinned briefly at me before turning towards the laptop and furrowing his brows in concentration. My legs hurt a bit, but those few seconds of raw silence and preciousness made my heart thump inside of my chest.

Sumasakit ang likod ko nang magising. I felt something warm on my chest and found Alas' hand resting on it. Natutulog na naman siya sa sahig samantalang ako'y nasa sofa. Nakasarado na ngayon ang laptop sa desk.

He grunted when I slowly removed his hands from my swollen belly and with aching back, got up from where I was lying earlier. Napatingin ako sa asawa na ngayo'y himbing na himbing na ang tulog.

I grabbed the small blanket and wrapped it around him, before I tip-toed out of the door. Nakita kong natutulog si Zeus at si Krista sa sala, habang nakabukas naman ang TV. Dahan-dahan akong naglakad patungo roon at pinatay ang telebisyon.

The ocean waves sounded from the distance, as if calling me. Napatingin ako sa dagat at nakaramdam ng matinding pagnanasa na maligo. I glanced at their sleeping faces again, before putting on my sandals and walking to the shore.

Walang ibang tao sa dalampasigan bukod sa akin. Sa tuwing madaling araw kasi ay nagiging daungan ito ng mga mangingisdang magdamag sa laot. Ang ingay nila ang nagsisilbing alarm clock din namin dahil kumakayod na sila hindi pa man sumisikat ang araw.

I was tempted by the baby blue waters. I'll just take a dip, I thought to myself. Water activities are great for pregnant women. I should give it a try. Mamaya pa naman yun magigising sina Alas at Zeus.

Must be because of the scorching sun, but the water felt warm when I stepped into it. I breathed a sigh of pleasure as I went deeper. Tumigil lang ako nang hanggang sa beywang ko na ang tubig.

My hands unconsciously went to my swollen belly. Two more months and I'm going to give birth to our second child. We've decided not to know the gender until I give birth to Zeus' sibling. The names are being argued by Alas and I. Naglilista na kami ngayon ng mga possibleng pangalan kung maging babae man o lalaki ang anak namin.

It would be great if we have a daughter. Growing up with another girl in the family will teach Zeus how to care for women. Kahit pa madalas naman silang magkasama ni Zoey, iba pa rin ang may nakababata kang kapatid na pinoprotektahan.

Sobrang init ng araw na kailangan ko pang singkitin ang mga mata para maaning ang isang bangka sa di kalayuan. I continued on swimming peacefully, the water felt good around my body. Nakatingin lang ako sa bangkang palayo na nang palayo mula sa aking paningin hanggang sa mawala din ito.

I sighed.

"Isabelle..."

I jumped when I felt someone grabbed my arms and effortlessly spun me around. Alas' scowling face met mine. His eyes are bloodshot. Mukhang kakagising pa lang nito at magulo ang buhok. Heck, he didn't even bother to put a shirt on!

"Bakit hindi mo ako ginising?" he asked with his lips pursed.

I smiled at him. "Sobrang himbing ng tulog mo, kaya hindi na kita ginising. Tsaka, gusto kong maligo ng dagat kaya nagpunta nalang ako dito. Tulog din si Zeus at Krista kanina pagkalabas ko."

His lips curved downward. Bahagyang humahampas ang tubig sa makisig nitong dibdib. His pearl-white skin glistened under the heat of the sun.

"Huwag mo na ulit gagawin iyon," he scolded me. "You're going to give me a heart attack!"

I giggled. High-blood na naman siya sa akin. Some days, I'd breathe fire on him for not being able to give me the right pair of socks and some days, he'd lash out on my throat for being such a stubborn wife.

What a combo.

"Dapat ginising mo ako kanina..." bulong-bulong pa niya, hindi nakakamove-on. Ang kamay nito'y gumapang sa aking beywang at hinila ako palapit sa kaniya.

"I love you, Ferrer..." malambing kong wika.

He was taken aback by my words. I smiled softly and rested my head on his chest. I felt his grip on my waist tightened, before he pulled me closer as waves came crashing on us.

"I love you, Mrs. Ferrer..." he hoarsely whispered as he kissed the top of my head.

Nanginig ang mga labi ko. I have yet to tell him of what my father did to his sister and father. The reason why he went blind for a year. But up until now, I am still trying to build the courage in my chest to tell him the truth.

Huminga ako nang malalim, nanatiling nakayakap kay Alas habang ang alon ay hinahaplos ang katawan naming dalawa.

My mind drifted somewhere else as we walked back to our house, hand in hand and soaking wet. I tugged on his jeans hanging lazily on his hips. Sumilip ang kulay itim nitong boxers sa ginawa ko. My cheeks reddened as I looked away. Siya namang paglingon ni Alas sa akin na seryoso ang mukha.

"I want to ask you something..." I bit my lower lips.

"Yeah...?"

Ngumuso ako na parang bata at binagalan ang paglalakad, sumasakit ulit ang likod. I finally met his gaze and then cleared my throat.

"About Jayden. The Runaways have disbanded."

"I've heard."

"And...?"

"And?" he rose an eyebrow at me.

"I mean... wala kang balak na bumalik? Sa pagbabanda?" tanong ko sa kaniya.

He chuckled and pulled me closer. Even though he's soaking wet, I could feel the warmth radiating from his body.

"Why would I?" tanong niya sa akin.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I supposed your first love was music so..."

"First love ko si Isla." He teased me.

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin at bahagyang tinulak palayo. Alas chuckled and pulled me closer again. Even though I protested, with his strength, it didn't take much effort to cage me in his arms.

"Sungit." He whispered on my ears before pulling away, grinning slightly. "Kahit sino pa ang first love ko, Belle, ikaw naman ang pinakasalan ko. Nakaka-dalawa na tayo, oh, nagseselos ka pa rin?"

Inirapan ko siya sa inis.

He chuckled again before his hands traveled to the small of my back. Malapit na naming marating ang bahay.

"I quit the band when I went blind because of frustration. I thought back then that I have lost half of my life when I tore myself away from my music. I forced myself to like engineering just so I could take the band off my mind. Yeah, there are times when I really want to go back and just create music again..."

Sinilip ko siya ng tingin at tumikhim. "So... why didn't you do something when Jayden stole your band?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Long time ago, it matters a lot to me. But now...? I really don't think so. I am contented watching Zeus play the piano, as if passing the legacy to my son. And I realized that I don't need millions of audience watching me perform if the only song I know belongs to the woman who had smitten me." he smirked at me.

Nagtaas ako ng kilay sa sinabi niya. Binobola na naman ako nito.

"Mummy! Dada!"

Naabutan naming dalawa si Zeus na nakikipaglaro na naman sa lumalaki niyang tuta sa bakuran. Nang makitang basa kaming dalawa ay kaagad itong sumimangot.

"You went to the beach and did not even bother to tell me?" basag ang boses nitong tanong.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at nataranta. The rascal next to me just laughed at his son. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.

"Sorry, baby..." masuyo kong wika sa kaniya habang lumalapit. "You were sleeping earlier when we went out. Didn't want to disturb my little prince from his beauty sleep."

Nakanguso pa rin ang bata nang niyaya ko na siyang magmeryenda sa loob. Pinauna ko si Zeus sa kusina habang kaming dalawa naman ni Alas ay nagbihis.

Weeks went by quickly. I told Dr. Madrigal that I am due to give birth this month and she understand that I couldn't make it to the university to continue my thesis. She gave me enough consideration na minsan ay nakakahiya na rin. Pati sa trabaho ay on leave din ako. Ma'am Patricia knew what happened to me and said that I should take my time, recover after I give birth to our second child.

"Mummy, when would I be able to see my sibling?" tanong ni Zeus sa akin, isang hapon habang tamad siyang kumakain ng popcorn. He'd been to the beach all day and if I didn't call him, the boy would've probably live in the waters. Buong araw ding nakabantay si Krista sa kaniya.

"Soon, baby..." wika ko sa kaniya.

"How soon?" inilipat niya ang tingin sa bowl patungo sa akin. Umaandar ang TV but he is not paying attention to the Disney film playing on screen. "I want to play basketball with him already. I can never beat Dada." Sumimangot ito nang konti bago nagpatuloy. "Maybe I could beat my sibling because I'm a little bigger than him?"

I chuckled. "We're not even sure if he's going to be a 'he'. And Zeus, infants can't play basketball."

"Then how long should I wait?" he groaned.

"Until the end of this month—shit." My eyes widened in horror when I felt a stabbing pain on my stomach. Napahawak ako sa tiyan ko at napapikit nang mas lalo itong sumakit.

"What's wrong, mummy?"

I panted heavily. Pinilit kong kalmahin ang sarili pero hindi ko magawa dahil sa sobrang sakit na parang hinihiwa ang tiyan ko.

"Can... Can you call Dada for me, Zeus? H-He's in the study..." halos mautal-utal ko nang wika sa bata.

"Why? Is the baby coming out?" he tilted his head and watched me curiously.

"Yes... yes... I think he is... baby please... call Dada..."

"Okay," prente nitong sagot saka mabagal na tumayo. He ran to the study to call his father.

I let out a series of curses when pain hit my stomach wave after wave. The doctor said that my due date is the end of the month, and it's only the second week! Bakit sumasakit na nang ganito ang tiyan ko?

"Isabelle?" narinig ko ang boses ni Alas kalaunan. Para na akong hihimatayin sa sakit kung kaya't ipinikit ko ang mga mata. "What's wrong?"

"Our baby..." I panted heavily. Tears escaped from my eyes when I couldn't fight the pain any longer. Hindi ko na halos maigalaw ang kalahati ng katawan ko at nanginginig ang mga kamay ko. Pinagpapawisan na din ako ng malamig.

"Holy fuck." I heard him curse. "Krista!" dumagundong ang boses niya sa loob ng bahay.

"Sir?"

"Kunin mo ang susi ng kotse sa study tapos paandarin mo na iyon!" utos niya dito. Mabilis akong nilapitan ni Alas. His face went white when he saw me curling up in so much pain. "I-I'll carry Belle to the car..."

"Opo, Sir..." ani Krista at nagmamadaling pumasok sa study.

Alas licked his lower lips before he carried me. Hindi pa man siya nakakatayo karga ako ay naramdaman ko na ang pagputok ng panubigan. Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Alas.

"Shit." I heard him curse again.

Kumapit ako sa dibdib niya at ibinaon ang mukha doon sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman. The pain intensified every moment that I am fighting to stay conscious. I got confused all of a sudden. Hindi naman ganito kalala ang nararamdaman ko nang iluwal ko si Zeus. And I gave birth to him on time. Hindi tulad nang ganito na napaaga ng halos dalawang linggo.

"Zeus, follow Dada and get in the car..." nilingon niya ang anak na ngayo'y natatakot na ang mukha. Zeus nodded hesitantly and went outside. Nang makarating na kami sa kotse ay bukas na ang mga pintuan nito.

Alas gently placed me on the backseat. Tinabihan ako ni Zeus samantalang si Alas naman sa driver's seat.

"Susunod lang po ako sa inyo, Sir. Ilo-lock ko lang po ang bahay..." ani Krista.

"Okay, thanks, Krista." Halata ang nerbyos sa pumiyok na boses ni Alas. He glanced at me. I could feel his fear and worry. "We're gonna go..."

Nang umandar ang sasakyan ay medyo nahimashimasan ako. I thought the pain is going to go away but it surprised me with a higher degree of pain I thought I would pass out any moment.

"Mummy..." hinawakan ni Zeus ang kamay ko. Pumikit ako nang mariin. I want to grab and squeeze something but I don't want to hurt my son. Tumulo nalang ang mga luha ko sa sobrang sakit.

"Hang in there, Belle. Malapit na tayo..." ani Alas sa akin.

The 15-minute ride seems to dragged on like forever. Mabilis na lumabas si Alas sa sasakyan nang marating na namin ang hospital. He did not even bother to park properly.

"Step aside, Zeus..." anito sa bata.

Kumapit ako sa shirt niya at huminga nang malalim. May lumapit na nurse sa amin nang makita kaming dalawa.

"My wife is going to give birth..." aniya sa natatarantang boses.

Tumango ang nurse at nagtawag pa ng ibang medical staff para tulungan kami. Hinawakan ko nang mahigpit ang kamay ni Alas at halos mabuwal nang humiwa ulit ang matinding sakit sa tiyan ko.

He swallowed and helped me up. Dumating din ang stretcher at isinakay na ako doon. He stared at me with fear and worry pooling in his eyes.

"Is she gonna be okay?" hindi maiwasan niyang tanong sa nurse.

Ngumiti nang banayad ang nag-assist sa amin at tumango sa kaniya. "Your wife is going to be okay, Sir." Tapos ay tinapunan ng tingin si Zeus. "Second child?"

"Yes."

Halos mawalan na ako ng ulirat sa maya't-mayang pagsakit ng tiyan at pati na rin ng pagkababae ko. I sobbed silently, trying to fight the physical pain but I couldn't. Hindi ko na halos mamalayan ang pagpasok sa akin sa delivery room.

Pumasok ang doctor at sinuri ako. May ibinulong ito sa kaniyang kasamang nurse at nagsitanguan silang dalawa.

"Si Z-Zeus..." pinisil ko ang braso ni Alas.

"Shit." Mas lalo itong namutla at kaagad na lumabas pero sinalubong siya ng bata na may kasamang nurse.

"Anak niyo po, Sir?"

"Yes. Fuck, I've completely forgot—"

"Ipapabantay ko nalang po sa isa pang nurse sa labas..." narinig kong wika niya.

Tumango si Alas at sa problemadong mukha ay bumalik sa tabi ko. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya habang naghahanda na ang lahat sa panganganak ko.

"I'm so fucking nervous..." he admitted in a whisper.

Despite the pain, I snorted a laugh.

"And don't fucking laugh at me! Wala ako nung iniluwal mo si Zeus. This is my first time..." he trailed off and raked his fingers through his damp hair.

"Just be by my side..." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, preparing myself.

"Of course." He kissed the top of my head before I felt a little light-headed.

While it is true that motherhood does not define a woman, it is far by the best experience any woman could have. The nine months of carrying a child, feeling him or her grow inside of you, and the extreme pain of giving birth to the baby. When there is pain, pleasure comes after. That's the way of the world.

"Congrats, mommy, it's a healthy baby boy..." anunsiyo sa akin ng doktor.

I wanted to smile but I couldn't. Sa sobrang pagod ay tuluyan na akong nawalan ng malay. The last thing I heard was the voice of my son crying for the first time.

"Alas..."

His name rolled out of my mouth automatically when I opened my eyes for what seemed like forever. Pagod na pagod pa rin ang katawan ko. I sucked in a deep breath before the image of my two sons and husband came into view.

Karga-karga ni Alas ang bagong silang na sanggol. Despite his roughness, I could feel his tender touch to our second-born child as he snuggled to his chest. His glassy eyes turned to me.

Ngiti ang ibinigay ko sa kaniya habang inilalapit niya sa akin ang kapatid ni Zeus. Umayos ako ng higa at kinarga ang anak nang ibigay na ito ni Alas sa akin.

"What should we name him?" he asked in almost a whisper. Hinalikan niya ang pinagpapawisan kong noo.

"Levi." I said immediately. "Leviticus." My eyes twinkled.

The sound of his raspy voice chuckled. "Alright. Levicitus it is."

Levi opened his mouth and moved his hands. Uminit ang sulok ng mga mata ko habang pinagmamasdan siya. His pink skin looked so fragile.

"Mummy... can I play basketball with him, now?" tanong ni Zeus matapos ang ilang sandali.

Natawa ako. Alas turned to him and smirked. "Ayaw mo na akong kalaro, Zeus?"

Ngumuso lang ang bata at hindi siya pinansin. It made me crack up.

"You'll have to wait for few more years, baby..." I told him.

I turned to Alas when he suddenly buried his face on the crook of my neck. Niyakap niya ako at si Levi.

"Thank you for giving me two wonderful sons..." he whispered. "I love you... I love you..." anito sa basag na boses bago ko naramdaman ang pagtulo ng luha nitong bumabasa sa aking leeg.