Chapter 16

"Ma'am, ito daw po ang vow ninyo. Paki-memorize nalang po..."

Umawang ang bibig ko sa gulat nang may ibigay na papel sa akin ang isa sa mga babaeng nag-aayos sa akin. I stared at the paper, dumbfounded.

The vow is printed in block letters and consisted of only two short paragraphs. Kumunot ang noo ko habang binabasa ito. Did she just say that I have to memorize it?

Mabilis kong nilakumos ang papel at itinapon sa kung saan! Did Alas think all of this is just a fucking play? Why the hell should I memorize a vow on my own wedding? I could write on my own! Fuck him!

Humigit ako ng isang malalim na hininga at hindi sinasadyang masamang tiningnan ang baklang nag-aayos sa akin. Bahagya siyang umatras. I sighed tiredly and stared at myself in front of the mirror.

"Sige na. Tapusin mo na..."

Tumango siya at ipinagpatuloy ang paglalagay ng eyeshadow sa pikit kong mga mata. Biglang uminit ang ulo ko sa ipinadalang vow sa akin ni Alas para i-memorize. Did he really think this is some kind of a joke? Our wedding?

I shifted comfortably on my seat. Sabagay, Belle. He married you because of your son. And now you're marrying him because of protection. Marriage for convenience, huh?

Napailing nalang ako sa sarili. How the hell did I end up in this situation? When I was younger, I've always dreamed of marrying someone I love and who loves me equally. But sometimes, I wonder, if there is any love left in Alas beneath his deleted memories and gargantuan hatred for me?

Matapos akong make-up-an ng bakla ay ipinasuot na sa akin ang wedding gown. It's simple, yet very elegant. The white dress dances in my ankle as I walk, I assume it's because I'd be walking in the sand instead of a real aisle. A series of small cut diamonds run in the gown's neckline that shines every time it is hit by the sun. And its intricate design is really amazing. It made my hips look smaller than it usually is.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is done nicely in a traditional bridal Chignon hairstyle. Nilagyan din ng palamuti ang buhok ko, mumunting perlas at kumikinang na bulaklak sa bandang likuran.

I checked my phone. Nakatanggap ako ng tawag mula kay Stella kagabi matapos kong ibalita sa kaniya na ikakasal na ako at imbitado siya.

"Ang sabi mo, hindi mo siya boyfriend, pero ngayon ay ikakasal ka na sa kaniya?!" naghihisterikal na tanong sa akin ng kaibigan ko.

I chewed my lower lips and adjusted the phone in my ears. "It's a long story, Stella. Basta't dumalo ka, ah?"

She promised to go home as soon as she can. Nahihiya nga ako sa kaibigan ko, eh. Nasa Maynila siya ngayon kasama ang kaniyang Lola. Hindi na niya ito sinama dahil nag-aalala siya sa kalagayan nito kung babiyahe na naman.

"Tara na po, Ma'am..." wika ng driver sa akin. I throw myself one last look in the mirror before I got up. Inalalayan pa ako ng stylist kahit na hindi naman ganon kalaki ang aking gown.

Hindi ko maitago ang pagkamangha ko ng makita ang puting Mustang na naghihintay sa labas. A bouquet of white flower decorated the hood of the vintage car.

This model is very rare. Milyones ang magiging halaga nito, lalo pa't bihira nalang ang ganitong sasakyan. If Alas could buy this stunning vehicle, then my hunch about him getting paid very well is really true. Even if he is not the legatee of the Ferrer's wealth, he can build an empire of his own with the money he has!

Sumakay ako sa likod ng Mustang. Hindi matanggal ang titig ko sa maganda nitong interior. I wish I could drive this, too!

Tumulak na ang sasakyan patungo sa Parola, Lavigan. I couldn't imagine what they did to decorate the place! Bigla akong na-excite sa naiisip.

And the team that Alas hired for the wedding did not failed me when we reached our destination. The three lighthouses are decorated with white and peach flowers tied with a string of matching colors. Iniihip ng hangin mula sa silangan ang mga bulaklak. The resto is also decorated and I guess this is where we're going to have our reception later on.

May isang babaeng umalalay sa akin pababa sa pink beach. The faded pink sand felt warm beneath my wedding shoes. Malayo pa lang ay kita ko na ang kumpol ng taong nakaupo sa harap ng karagatan.

My eyes feasted on the loose bouquet of peach and white spray roses, lisianthus, and peonies. Napakagandang pagmasdan ng mga ito sa dagat! The female guests are wearing either white or blush pink infinity dresses. Hindi gaanong marami ang dumalo sa kasal. It seemed like a private wedding to me. Private, but very expensive.

The thought made my heart pound inside of my chest. Did Alas paid for all of this? The wedding car itself costs millions! At nasisiguro kong hindi rin madali at mahal ding kumuha ng wedding organization team in just a short span of time.

When I got out of the wedding car, the song How Deep Is Your Love by Bee Gees played. Muntik na akong matawa. The song feels nostalgic to me! Nananadya ba ito si Alas? Or is he even the one who chose he song in the first place?

All eyes are on me, now. Bigla tuloy akong kinabahan. It's a bunch of unfamiliar faces but based on how they dressed and behaved, I know that they belong to the social circle of rich and noble people.

Hinanap ng mga mata ko ang kaibigan. Stella grinned at me when our eyes met. I smiled back and started walking down. The soft melody drifted in the breeze. May ilang nagtaas ng kanilang cellphone upang kunan ako ng picture.

I blushed. Hindi pa rin tumitigil sa paghuhurementado ang puso ko! For a while, I forgot that this marriage is but a business to the two of us. Especially when I saw my groom, standing and waiting patiently for me.

He looked good in a three-piece suit. The black tux hugged his well-built body nicely. I spotted a peach wedding boutonniere on the lapel of his tuxedo. His crew cut hair looks so soft under the sun.

But his hard and serious face is expressionless. Hindi niya inalis ang kaniyang titig sa akin habang dahan-dahan akong naglalakad patungo sa kaniya. Pakiramdam ko ay mabubuwal na ako anumang minuto dahil sa sobrang kaba!

When we reached the altar, Alas held me gently, which surprised me. How can a beast like him touch me so tender? Sinilip ko siya ng tingin at nakitang nakatitig na pala siya sa akin. I look so small and fragile next to his towering height and colossal body.

The ceremony started. My young, handsome Zeus played the ring bearer. He looks so cute walking in the aisle that I stopped myself from running to him and hugging him! He's all smile and charmed most of the older ladies who attended the wedding. They found him adorable as much as I did.

When it was time to exchange our vows, halatang memorize lang din ni Alas ang sa kaniya. He didn't mean it. I can see it in his eyes. The words felt blank and empty. Masakit man ay nanatili akong nakangiti habang sinasabi niya ang kaniyang wedding vow. If I got to play the bride role, I might as well play it nicely. After all, I'm a graduate of mass communication. Who says I can't act?

It was my turn. Huminga ako nang malalim at tumitig kay Alas.

"Flavian Alas Ferrer, when our eyes first met, one of us couldn't see the other..." simula ko.

Rumehistro ang gulat sa mukha ni Alas sa sinabi ko. I'm not going to recite the damn vow made for me! I have my own!

"But it didn't stop me from falling in love with you... Five years ago, my young heart fell in love with you and until now, I still am. When you first sung to me, there's no way I could forget your voice. It's still ringing inside of my head, you see..." humigit ako nang isang malalim na hininga dahil nagiging emosyonal na ako ngayon. Alas looks taken aback. Bahagyang naka-awang ang kaniyang bibig. He looks confused... and clueless.

"I understand that some of my decisions have badly hurt you. But this, I promise you, Alas. I love you and will never stop loving you. You and my son are my new world now. I couldn't imagine life without the two of you..."

Some of the guests shed tears by my emotional wedding vow. Si Alas ay nanatiling nakatitig sa akin, hindi makapaniwala sa narinig. Umigting ang kaniyang panga at isang matigas na tango ang isinagot sa akin.

The priest pronounced as husband and wife. Alas kissed me gently, but it was so brief I couldn't almost feel him. Ipinikit ko nang mariin ang mga mata ko at isang mapait na ngiti ang ibinigay sa mga guests namin na nagpalakpakan, tanda ng pagtatapos ng ceremony.

"Congrats!" Sage Monterio nodded his head to me and shook Alas' hands. Nakasunod sa kaniya ang asawang si Mallory, karga ang isang batang lalaki. She gave me a hopeful look. While our husbands are talking, I approached her.

"Can I talk to you?" mahina kong tanong sa kaniya.

She nodded her head and followed me outside. Kumakain na ang guests ngayon sa resto at tapos na rin ang pagbibigay ng mga speech. Alas introduced me to many wealthy men whose name I wouldn't be able to remember when this day ends.

Mallory looks stunning in her pink off-shoulder dress. My son is three years older than her's.

"This is Leon..." she trailed off and looked at me, sadness pooling in her eyes. "I-I named him after your brother..."

Tumango din ako at pinagmasdan ang bata. I do not see my brother at him at all, probably because he's not his son. His love for Mallory brought him death and I know, long before, that he'd rather be the father of this woman's child.

"Isabelle, please..." her voice broke. "I'm so sorry—"

"You don't have to say sorry, Mal." Mahina kong wika. Humigit ako nang isang malalim na hininga. "Wala kang kasalanan sa nangyari, okay?"

Tears welled in her eyes.

"Ako yung may kasalanan. It's so hard when Leon died... I just shut down! I looked for people to blame and then you..." ibinaba ko ang aking tingin, nahihiya sa sarili. "I'm so ashamed of myself for doing this to you. You don't even deserve it!"

Ibinaba ni Mallory ang anak saglit at niyakap ako. I tried to stop the tears but I couldn't hold them back. I love Leon as a brother! He is one of the sweetest guys I've known and love have destroyed him!

"I'm sorry..." she sobbed as well. Nagtataka kaming tiningnan ng kaniyang anak. "I'm sorry..."

I nodded my head and hugged her back. We're both mothers now and I think we should finally settle this issue. We should both act as mature adults.

Nang mahimashimasan ay kumalas ako sa kaniya at ngumiti. My make-up's probably ruined by now.

"Thank you..." Mallory whispered. She picked up her son and then excused herself, still sniffing with tears.

"Belle..."

Napatuwid ako nang tayo nang marinig ko ang baritonong boses ni Alas. He had taken off his coat and is now wearing his undershirt and vest. May hawak siyang kopita sa kamay nang lingunin ko siya. Namumungay din ang kaniyang mga mata. Palagay ko'y nakainom na siya.

"What?" I wiped my tears away.

Nag-angat ng kilay si Alas at bahagyang kumunot ang noo. He scowled at me. "Why are you crying, Belle?"

I shrugged.

"Tss." He hissed, then took a sip from his amber drink. "Stop crying. You're a good actress. At least try to pretend to be happy in our wedding day."

I gritted my teeth at his words. Nang may lumapit sa aming matandang lalaki ay hinawakan ni Alas ang aking beywang habang nakikipag-usap sa matanda. He introduced me again to this man named Alfonso Lao.

"Ah, so you're the woman he's been crazy about, huh?" he chuckled.

Matabang akong ngumiti sa sinabi niya.

"Have you been to my resort, hija? I own the Coco Beach Resort."

Tumango ako. Minsan na kaming nakapag-shoot doon para sa aming MTV project. They dolled me up in a yellow sundress and a hat. Kung hindi lang dahil sa shooting na iyon ay hindi ako makakapasok sa loob ng isang luxury hotel.

"I never thought that Alas would really get married. He's too busy! Tapos mababalitaan ko nalang na sumunod na sa iyo sa Davao at iniwan ang trabaho sa Lavigan..." tumawa ulit siya. He seems kind, though. I couldn't see any hint of judgement on him, even though he's filthy rich. "At first, I was furious about it! But seeing you... I now understand why he's so crazy about you... A beautiful woman like you who captured my engineer's heart!"

Doon na ako pinamulahan ng mukha. Alas tensed next to me. Mukhang hindi na rin siya komportable sa usapan. Tumikhim ako at tumawa bago ako nagpaalam sa kanilang dalawa nang magsimula na naman silang mag-usap tungkol sa trabaho.

Gusto ko munang mapag-isa ngunit nang makita akong baklang stylist ay niyaya niya ako sa loob upang magretouch sa aking make-up. I really ruined it, fine!

"Kanina pa kayo mukhang malungkot, Ma'am, ah..." puna ng bakla sa akin habang nilinis ang mukha ko. "Ang ganda-ganda niyo tapos ang lungkot niyo."

I smiled tightly at him. Hinayaan ko na siyang ayusin ulit ang makeup ko hanggang sa matapos kami. I went out again and tried to socialize with the guests. Nagpaalam na din sina Mallory at Sage sa amin na mauuna nang umuwi.

Alas invited the entire team who worked on the resort. Ang resulta, nag-iinuman at nagkakatuwaan na silang lahat sa resto nang matapos na ang kainan at programa.

"Saan niyo ba balak mag-honeymoon, Engineer?" pabirong tanong sa kaniya ng isa mga mga construction worker nila.

Inaya ako ng ibang mga guests na makipag-inuman sa kanila. I declined them all. I'm not a teetotaler, but I don't want to get drunk on my wedding night. Mahirap na...

"Hmm. I don't think we'll have a honeymoon, though. Hindi pa natin natatapos ang resort." Sagot ni Alas. Wala siyang problema sa pakikipaghalubilo sa kanila. In fact, he really treats them as friends, not just some redneck workers. Even as a man, Alas is really something...

"Naku, ayos lang po sa amin kung maiwan kami ng isang linggo, Engineer! Para naman masundan na yang si Zeus!"

Uminit ang pisngi ko sa hiyawan at tukso ng mga workers kay Alas. Bago pa man niya ako makita ay umalis na ako. Itatanong ko sana kung saan ang room na kaniyang kinuha o kung puwede na ba akong makauwi sa apartment ngayon dahil pagod na ako at gusto nang matulog.

"Room po? Yung pinakamalaking villa po ang kinuha ni Sir para sa inyong dalawa..." sagot ng kaniyang assistant na si Krista. "Halika po, samahan ko kayo..."

I scanned the surroundings. Thankfully, I didn't see Cara in this wedding. Mababaliw na ata ako kung pati siya ay invited din!

"Where's Zeus?" tanong ko sa kaniya habang naglalakad kami.

"Kasama po si Sir Zero, Ma'am. Sa kaniya na daw po muna ang pamangkin niya ngayong gabi."

I scowled at the thought. May kinuhang susi si Krista mula sa kaniyang bulsa at binuksan ang malaking villa. She turned on the lights and handed the keys to me.

"Pakisabi nalang sa boss mo na nauna na ako dito..." wika ko sa kaniya.

She nodded her head and walked away. Pumasok ako at isinarado ang pintuan. There's a huge matrimonial bed in front of me. Inilapag ko ang susi sa tukador at binuksan ang bintana.

The cold sea air entered the room. I heaved a sigh of relief and then peeled off my dress. Kinuha ko ang roba na nakasampay at isinuot iyon, bago ako nagpunta sa bathroom.

I took a hot shower. Naririnig ko pa rin ang halakhakan ng mga tao sa labas. Seriously, it's half past ten! Napailing nalang ako. I dried myself using a towel and wrapped it around my head when I stepped out of the bathroom.

Sakto namang pagbukas ko ng pinto ay ang pagbukas din ng front door. Napatalon ako sa gulat at nakita si Alas. Medyo mapula na ang mga pisngi at tainga nito ngayong nakainom. Nagkatitigan kaming dalawa.

Bumaba ang tingin niya mula sa mukha ko hanggang sa roba na suot. I stared at him, not moving from my position right now.

"Kukunin ko lang ang wallet ko..." anito sa baritonong boses. I nodded my head. Nakatayo pa rin ako sa may pintuan.

Alas sauntered towards the desk. The first three buttons of his white undershirt is now open, revealing a blanket of thin hair on his chest. Binuksan niya ang drawer at kinuha ang kaniyang wallet. Even with the simple gesture, the muscles on his arms flexed, impressing me effortlessly.

Wala siyang imik na lumabas ulit ng villa. When I heard the door click, I sighed I relief once again. Nilapitan ko ang kama at nakita ang isang peach sheer lacy nightgown doon. Namula ang buong mukha ko habang pinagmamasdan ito. It's too revealing!

Sinuyod ko ang buong kwarto dahil baka may extra shirts and shorts pa doon pero wala akong nakita. I groaned.

Pati din ba ito, hinanda mo, Alas?

Leaving me no choice, I wore the stupid nightgown. Its plunging neckline reveals my chest and it stops mid-thigh! Thanks to its sheer fabric, I'm almost naked wearing this one. Gusto ko ulit isuot ang roba ngunit basa na iyon dahil galing ako sa pagligo kanina.

Napailing na lamang ako. I went to bed and wrapped the thin white sheets around me. I could hear the waves crashing below the cliff through my open window.

Babalik na ba siya dito? What would we talk about once he gets inside? It's going to be so awkward! Kailangan ko nang matulog... o kung hindi naman, magkukunwari nalang akong tulog para maiwasang magkausap kaming dalawa!

Muntik na akong mapamura. Why the hell am I thinking over these petty things! Lintik na kasal kasi! Kahit pagod na ako ay hindi ako sinang-ayunan ng utak ko na magpahinga.

My mother attended the wedding, but I could still see the battle of emotions in her face. She congratulated the two of us quietly and then retreated to our apartment even though Alas offered to get her another room here in the resort.

Naputol lamang ang pag-iisip ko nang marinig ko ang mga mabibigat na yapak mula sa labas. Bigla akong nataranta kaya naman ipinikit ko kaagad ang mga mata ko!

The door opened quietly. I could feel and hear someone moving. I know it's Alas. His expensive perfume betrayed him. I could feel his presence hovering over me. Nanginig ako nang bahagya sa ilalim ng kumot.

I heard him sigh and then his footsteps headed towards the door. I heard a click, the door opening and closing, and then the silence followed. Nang idilit ko ang mga mata ko'y patay na ang ilaw.

My heart sank. Wala pa ba siyang balak matulog? Until when would he keep on drinking with his workers outside? Gabi na, ah?

Gustuhin ko mang lumabas para makita kung ano ang ginagawa niya ay hindi na ako nag-abala pa. I forced myself to sleep. But the more I force it, the more my brain is keeping me away.

In the end, I spent two hours staring at the dark ceiling above me. I grunted.

Tumayo ako at lumapit sa bintana. I could see the dark sea from here. The wind blew gently on my face. Natuyo nalang ang buhok ko't lahat-lahat, hindi pa rin siya pumapasok dito!

May narinig akong tilian mula sa maingay na resto bar. Mas lalo itong pumukaw sa aking kuryosidad. Pero hindi naman siguro ako puwedeng lumabas na ganito lang ang suot, di ba?

Bumalik ako sa kama at ipinikit ang mga mata. A few minutes passed and the door opened for the third time. Alas' moves are slow and silent, as if he's afraid he's going to wake me.

Maliban sa kaniyang panglalaking amoy ay nanunuot din sa ilong ko ang alak. Talaga ngang nakainom siya.

Nilagpasan ng anino ni Alas ang kama at nagtungo ito sa bathroom. Mayamaya pa ay narinig ko na ang lagaslas ng tubig.

I sighed silently. A few minutes after, he emerged out of the bathroom, smeling of aftershave and man's shampoo. I took a peek of him and saw that he has nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist!

Kaunting kibot lang ay malalaglag na ang towel. My cheeks burned. The tiny towel is hanging on his hips for dear life! Even with the dark, I could see the outline of his muscular body from here. And the carved V-line that disappears beneath the towel.

Lumapit si Alas sa bintana at itinukod ang dalawa niyang kamay sa window sill, tahimik na pinagmamasdan ang dagat. Gusto kong bumangon at sigawan siya na baka may makakita sa kaniya diyan pero hindi ko magawa. I remained silent, watching him silently, until he turned to my direction.

Mabilis kong ipinikit ulit ang mga mata. Nagkunwari pa akong nagpalit ng posisyon. I grunted a bit. I could feel the weight of his stare at me. Then I heard his steps nearing the bed. Doon na ako nagsimulang kabahan!

Pumunta siya sa kabilang side ng kama. When I moved earlier, the white blanket slipped from my body, revealing my chest. Hindi ko naman iyon maitaas ngayong nakatingin na si Alas sa akin.

His footsteps stopped right in front of me. Pinipigilan ko na ngayon ang paghinga ko. Mas lalo pang lumakas ang amoy ng kaniyang shampoo at aftershave cream.

"Damn it," I heard him curse fluently. Ang kaniyang kamay ay dumapo a braso ko at mabilis din niyang kinuha. He grabbed the blanket and covered my body. Muntik na akong mawalan ng malay sa kaniyang ginawa! The strong AC is not helping either! Mas lalo lang akong nanginginig.

He did not move for a few minutes. I pretended, as best as I can, to be in a deep slumber. Alas let out a series of profanities several times. Naramdaman ko ang kaniyang isang kamay sa aking tagiliran. He's hovering right over me!

Then, in a gentle manner, his lips met my forehead. My heart melted at the softness of his lips and the way he lingered. He stroked my hair and pressed his nose on it. I shivered. Hinalikan niya pa ang noo ko nang isang beses bago niya inilayo ang sarili.

Alas circled the bed and in just a few seconds, I felt his weight on the other side. My cheeks burned, knowing that he has nothing but a white towel wrapped on his waist!

Muntik na akong mapamura nang malakas nang maramdaman ko siya sa aking likod. His muscled arms wrapped my waist possessively and pulled me closer to him. Inamoy niya ulit ang buhok ko bago ibinaon ang kaniyang mukha sa aking leeg at natulog.