Chapter 10

Nakaharap at seryoso ang tingin ko sa computer. Humalukipkip ako at kumunot ang noo nang hindi masyadong maintindihan ang order ni Sir Patrick mula sa suot kong headset.

I glanced at the sea of crowd. Humigit kumulang limampung libong tao yata ang um-attend sa live show na ito. Albeit not their official concert, the number of their fans is overwhelming. Hindi ko akalaing ganito na pala talaga kasikat ang The Runaways dito sa Pilipinas.

"Belle."

Napaigtad ako nang bigla akong tapikin ni Joseph, ang aming audio technician. Nginitian niya ako at inabutan ng isang malamig na mineral water.

"You're working hard."

Nginitian ko siya at hinubad ang headset na suot saka ko inabot ang tubig. I twisted the cap and took a sip from it.

"Salamat."

He nodded his head and smiled. Nagkamot ito sa batok at lumingon-lingon pa.

"Uh, may gusto sana akong—"

"Isabelle Avanzado?"

Naputol ang pag-uusap naming dalawa nang may isang babaeng lumapit sa akin. In her white collared shirt, the word "Media" is printed in bold letters. May nakasabit din na visitor's ID sa kaniyang leeg at nakasunod ang kaniyang camera man sa loob.

"Hi. I'm Lydia of the MTE magazine. Puwede ba kitang ma-interview? Kahit five minutes lang..."

Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa ni Joseph. I glanced at my wristwatch. Ilang minuto nalang ay pormal nang magsisimula ang live show. I have to man the computer and take commands from Sir Patrick who's in the control room right now.

"Para saan ba 'to?" tanong ko sa kaniya.

She beamed. "I heard you are Jayden's highschool sweetheart and—"

"No. Sorry. Hindi ako magpapa-interview." Tinalikuran ko kaagad siya at sinuot ang headset. Hindi ko pa rin maintindihan ang sinasabi ni Sir Patrick mula sa kabilang linya lalo na ngayon na ginugulo ako ng babaeng ito.

"Kahit sandali lang, Ms. Isabelle. I confirm mo lang ang issue sa inyong dalawa. The fans are dying to know—"

"Isabelle!"

Nagulantang ako sa pagtakbo sa akin palapit ni Sir Patrick, nakasimangot ang mukha.

"I said lights off in 5 minutes! Hindi ka ba nakikinig sa commands ko?"

"U-Uhm..." I stammered at napalingon sa babaeng kinukulit ako. Sir Patrick turned to him and squinted his eyes.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Lydia from MET Magazine, Sir—"

"Get out of here. You're intruding and the show's about to start. She needs to focus."

I breathed a sigh of relief when he came to my defense. Gayunpaman, hindi nabawasan ang determinasyon na nakapaskil sa mukha ni Lydia sa kabila ng maaanghang na salita ni Sir Patrick. Tumango lamang siya nang nakangiti at umalis na sa aking puwesto.

"Ikaw naman! Bakit glitch nang glitch ang preview?" buga niya ng iritasyon sa isang camera man. Agad siyang napatuwid nang tayo at may in-adjust sa kaniyang camera. He looked nervously at Sir Patrick.

"Focus, Belle. Focus!" anito sa akin bago iniwan ang puwesto ko.

Tumango ako at binalikan ng tingin ang computer. The show started after a few minutes. Mabuti nalang at narito si Joseph sa aking tabi. He was quick and concentrated. Mabilis niyang natatama ang pagkakamali ko nang hindi nahahalata ng mga audience.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, the one that you've been waiting for—The Runaways!"

Nagsitalunan ang mga tao sa kanilang upuan. I turned up the background music to hype the people and slowly faded it out when the band sauntered to the stage.

Naka-itim na muscle tee shirt si Jayden. Baka sang guhit ng kaniyang maskuladong mga braso na nangingintab pa dahil sa pawis. Naghiyawan ang mga babae at nagsisitalon na. I tried to focus on Sir Patrick's command from the headset but the noise crowd is making me miserable.

Naupo ako at pinaghandaan na ang susunod na gagawin. Wala pa namang background music dahil magpe-perform sila ng dalawang kanta bago ang isa pang banda.

Si Joseph naman ay tahimik na nag-iinstruct sa lights director. May dalawa pa akong kasama na babae dito sa technical department upang masigurong magiging maayos ang takbo ng programa.

The Runaways hyped the crowd for less than ten minutes, leaving them wanting for more. habang tumatagal ay umiinit na din sa aming puwesto. Tagaktak na ang pawis ko sa likod at tuyong-tuyo na ang lalamunan ko habang nagmamanage sa console at computer at the same time.

When the band was done with their two songs, the fans asked for more. Bumalik silang hinihingal sa backstage pagkatapos ng kanta habang inaabisuhan ng MC ang duo ng bokalista ng banda at ng singer na nanalo sa Idol Philippines.

Sinulyapan ako ni Joseph habang nakatutok ako sa computer. The MC hyped the crowd again and I listened very well to match the bed to her joyous statements. Nang matapos ay ipinakilala na naman niya ang ikalawang banda na magpi-perform.

Doon pa ako pumirme. Inabutan ako ni Joseph ng towel which I gladly took to wipe the sweat off my forehead.

"Damn it!"

Napalingon kaming dalawa nang magmura nang malakas ang manager ng banda. He was pacing back and forth, rubbing his temples with his brows deeply furrowed.

"Nasaan siya?"

May ibinulong ang babaeng intern sa kaniya. The two of them disappeared towards the dressing room. Pagod na sumunod sa kanila ang mga miyembro ng banda.

"Anong nangyari?" isinaboses ni Joseph ang tanong ko sa isipan.

"Inatake ng chronic gastritis si Beatrice. She's inside the dressing room, curling up in pain."

Umangat ang isang kilay ko. Really? At this point of time? How can she perform now with her upper abdominal pain?

Binalingan ko ulit ang console nang papatapos na ang pang-unang kanta ng banda. Mula dito sa aming puwesto ay dinig ko pa rin ang pagtatalo ng mga tao doon, halatang nagpapanic na dahil sa sitwasyon.

"Intern Avanzado?"

Napalingon ako sa assistant ng manager na tumawag sa akin. She looked nervous but concealed it with a friendly smile. "Ipinapatawag ka sa dressing room."

"I'm managing the console." Tipid kong sagot sa kaniya, hoping she'd just go away.

"Ako na dito, Belle." Wika ni Joseph. Gusto ko siyang samaan ng tingin sa sinabi. wala akong magawa kundi hubadin ang headset na suot at ibigay ito sa kaniya.

"Okay." Sumunod ako sa babae papasok sa dressing room. Nasa hamba pa lang kami ng pintuan ay dinig ko na ang daing at iyak ni Beatrice.

"Do you need to go to the hospital?"

Hindi makasagot si Beatrice dahil sa matinding sakit na dinadanas. Lumandas ang mga luha niya sa mata habang namimilipit sa sakit at yakap ang kaniyang tiyan.

"I think we should get her to the hospital, Carlos." Wika ng lalaking naka-staff shirt at binalingan ang kanilang manager.

Ipinikit niya nang mariin ang mga mata at parang napilitan pang tumango.

"I'm sorry..." Beatrice sobbed but no one answered her. I could see the disappointment painted in everyone's faces. Mas lalo pa iyong nagpalakas sa kaniyang iyak.

"The performance will be 10 minutes from now." The intern girl reminded them again. I wondered, for a second, what the hell am I doing here until Jayden turned to me.

"Can you sing with me, Belle?" seryoso niyang tanong sa akin. Nakabihis na siya ng denim jacket at itim na shirt sa loob. The stylist started styling his hair too, despite the tension in the room.

Napaawang ang bibig ko sa narinig. "What?"

"You know how to sing. Naging classmate kita noon at alam kong kaya mong kumanta." Dagdag pa niya.

I blinked at him, not believing my ears. Hello, Jayden! It was inside the classroom with only 50 audiences, not in this stage with over 50,000 fans!

"No." mariin kong tanggi.

"Isa, please..."

Nanigas ako nang tawagin niya ako sa pangalan kong iyon. When we were still dating, Jayden used to call me Isa but since we've split, he stopped calling me with that name too. Ngayon pa lang ulit.

"You really know how to sing?" seryosong tanong ng manager nila sa akin.

"B-But... I'm not the one they are expecting to see on s-stage and—" suminghap ako. "No, no, no. This isn't going to work."

"They know there's going to be a duo and they don't know who'll be my partner yet. Kaya ayos lang kung ikaw ang kumanta kasama ko." panggatong ni Jayden. His hair's done and now the stylist is tapping some light foundation into his face.

Umiling ulit ako at umatras. "No. This is crazy. I can't do this—"

"Do it, Belle."

Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko nang marinig ang boses ni Sir Patrick mula sa likod. Nanlalaki ang mga mata kong napatingin sa kaniya.

"This is a live show. We can't fuck this up. If this is the only solution, then I'll hand you my intern."

"Sir—"

"You know the song already. It's Way Back Into Love by Hugh Grant and Haly Benett." Ani Jayden.

Nanlulumo akong napatingin sa kaniya.

"Seven minutes more." the girl reminded, making everyone groan inside the room. I surrendered my hands into the air and shut my eyes.

"Fine, fine. I'll do it." I gritted my teeth.

Mabilis akong nilapitan ng dalawang naghihintay na mga stylists at binihisan kaagad. It's a peach infinity dress with a long slit. Mabilis nilang inayos ang buhok ko habang binabasa ko naman ang lyrics.

The other stylist started doing my make-up too. Gumalaw na ang lahat sa loob ng dressing room. Dinig pa rin namin ang pagkanta ng ikalawang banda at ang nalalapit nilang pagtatapos.

When they were done with my make-up, they made me wear a pair of heels too. Their manager nodded approvingly at my appearance and briefed the two of us.

Jayden tried to hold my hand but I simply swatted it away. Nang i-anunsiyo ng MC ang performance naming dalawa ay sumabog na ang kaba sa dibdib ko. It was great seeing the number of fans when you're behind the console or the computer but now that I'm in front of the camera, I feel like vomiting too.

Relax at chill lang si Jayden na naglakad. When he placed his hands on my waist, wala na akong magawang pagprotesta. I pasted a small smile on my face as the crowd cheered.

The entire stage dimmed and the spotlight were now focused on the two of us. I licked my lower lips and tried to maintain my composure as the pianist started playing. Umani ito ng hiyawan sa mga fans, lalo na nang ipuwesto ni Jayden ang kaniyang mic.

The lights blinded me for a moment before I could regain myself. I mumbled the first part of the lyrics before I was able to sing properly. Lumapit si Jayden sa akin, may maliit na ngiti sa kaniyang mga labi. He pulled my waist and dragged me closer to him, earning cheers and screams from his fans.

"I've been living with a shadow overhead... I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed, I've been lonely for so long... Trapped in the past I just can't seem to move on."

Hindi ko matagpo ang mga mata ni Jayden habang sinasabayan siya sa pagkanta sa chorus.

"All I wanna do is find a way back into love... I can't make it through without a way back into love..."

Malakas na ang tibok ng puso ko sa sobrang kama. Alam kong ramdam ni Jayden ang panlalamig ng mga kamay ko. He squeezed it as if to ensure that I'm going to be okay.

"And if I open my heart again... I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end..."

Nagulat ako nang bigla siyang lumapit sa akin. He leaned closer and the fans went wild. Jayden rested his lips on my ears as I sung and swayed slightly. Hindi na magkamayaw ang kaniyang mga fans.

I closed my eyes, finally calming down. I know this is such a bad decision and I'm going to be in a big trouble later on.

"And if you help me to start again, you know that I'll be there for you in the end..."

The thing about media is, they can't control the minds of the people. But they can control what people should think. And by sensationalizing minor issues and spreading it like a wildfire in public, the news of Jayden allegedly reuniting and singing with his 'highschool sweetheart' filled the headlines of the newspaper for a straight week.

Jayden Von Cruz, "I'm glad I found her again."

February 6, 2015—The Runaway performed and their lead vocalist, Jayden Cruz, together with his highschool sweetheart, a non-showbiz girl performed a duo. After weeks of denying, Jayden admitted that this probinsiyana girl is the main reason that he came back to Davao.

I cursed to myself as I read article after article, with our pictures pasted all over the place! Pati ang mga litrato namin noong highschool pa lang kami ay naungkat na.

"Ikaw ba talaga ang highschool sweetheart ni Jayden?"

"Puwede mo ba itong i-confirm?"

"May balitang may anak daw kayong dalawa ni Jayden? Totoo ba ito?"

Nagulat ako sa pagdagsa ng media na nag-aabang na pala sa akin sa paglabas ko ng establishment. Pati si Ms. Patricia ay nagulat din sa nakita at kaagad na pinuntahan ang security department.

The press surrounded me. The flashes from their cameras are blinding me. Hindi ako makaimik dahil sunod-sunod ang kanilang mga tanong sa akin.

"Belle!"

I stood straighter when I heard Alas' angry voice. Hindi ko siya makita dahil sa dami ng taong nakapaligid sa akin. I felt really harassed when someone grabbed my arm by force and made me turn towards their camera.

"Get the fuck out of my way!"

I heard a series of protests, along with the profanities that escaped from his mouth when he sliced through the crowd. May bahid ng galit ang kaniyang pulang mukha. He's in a foul mood, based on his pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows.

Hinila niya ako at sininghalan ang iba pang gusto akong makausap. It was too difficult. Dalawa lang kami at marami sila. Alas removed his jacket and draped it across my head. Mahigpit niya akong hinawakan at naglakad paalis.

"Ms. Avanzado! Confirmation lang po! Is it true that you and Jayden are secretly married?"

"Please confirm! You have a son with Jayden Cruz?"

Nanginig ang mga labi ko at isiniksik ang sarili kay Alas. Mahigpit ang hawak niya sa akin hanggang sa makapasok kami sa kaniyang sasakyan. He immediately shut the door and circled his car.

May mga press pang hinarangan ang aming dinadaanan. Alas angrily honked twice before they vacated the area. Mura na naman ang lumabas sa kaniyang bibig nang magsimula na naman nilang katukin ang bintana ng sasakyan.

I bowed my head. Mabibigat ang hininga at nanginginig na din ang mga kamay. Galit na iniatras ni Alas ang sasakyan at mabilis na nagpatakbo.

"Alas..." I squeaked. "The media is lying... Don't listen to anything that they say. Please?"

Umigting ang kaniyang panga. I flinched and shut my mouth. Mahigpit ang kaniyang pagkakahawak sa steering wheel. The veins in his arms popped out angrily. Punong-puno ng galit ang kaniyang mga mata na para bang may gusto siyang patayin anumang oras.

It's either me or Jayden.

I chuckled mockingly inside of my head. It's your fault, Belle. You could've fucked up the show but you didn't. Huminga ako nang malalim at sinulyapan si Alas.

I don't want Alas to be angry with me. I'd hurt him enough these past few years and he didn't deserve anymore pain that my hands could offer. Sooner or later, the media will dig his name too, seeing that he'd protected me from them earlier.

Nang makarating kami sa bahay ay wala pa ring imik si Alas. I cleared my throat and licked my lower lips.

"S-Salamat..." I mumbled. Hindi siya sumagot. His tensed shoulders told me that I should get out of here before he breathes fire at me again. "Salamat din sa kanina..."

My chest ached when he didn't even glance at my direction. Tahimik kong kinalas ang aking seatbelt at bigong lumabas ng sasakyan. Hindi pa man ako nakakapasok sa apartment ay pinaharurot na ni Alas ang sasakyan paalis.

I closed my eyes, welcoming the throbbing pain in my chest. He's really mad, alright. God knows what the media had fed the public with regards to the issue of me, being Jayden's highschool sweetheart and all that crap.

"Jayden, you need to make another statement again!" gusto ko nang sabunutan ang sarili ko. "Namisinterpret nila ang sinabi mo!"

"I said I was glad I found you again, but I never said you are my highschool sweetheart, Belle. The media just made it all up." He said, eyeing me before taking a sip from his cup of tea.

"The media is after me! This is crazy. You should return the favor, Jayden. It's not easy standing before fifty-fucking-thousand people to sing just to save you from your humiliation!" I exploded.

"Fine, fine." He surrendered his hands in the air. "I'll release another statement, okay? Take it easy, Belle."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. Paanong kakalma ako kung pati si Zeus ay nadadamay na? Should I be glad that they still haven't tracked my apartment and scared the shit out of my son? I will never let the media involve my little boy here! If I have to show some teeth to the media just so they would leave my son alone, so will I.

Padabog akong lumabas ng studio at kinuha ang mga gamit ko. Ms. Patricia's warning had shooed the media away. Wala na sila paglabas ko ng establishment.

So is Alas' Ford.

I dig my phone out of my pocket and sent Alas a message. By this time, alam kong naghihintay na siya sa akin. Pero bakit wala siya? Is he still mad at me? He should know that these issues are beyond my control! Isa lang akong hamak na intern. Paano ko naman maaayos ito nang ako lang mag-isa?

Ha! Funny though. A non-showbiz girl getting hooked with a famous rockstar vocalist. Sure would spice up the headline of many tabloids and entertainment websites.

Belle:

Are you gonna fetch me, today?

My phone chimed in less than ten seconds. Nanlulumo akong napatingin sa kaniyang maikling sagot.

Alas:

I can't. Busy.

I nibbled my lower lips. So, he's still mad huh? I should explain this properly to him. The news is all over the place and God knows what's going on inside his mind right now.

I rode the bus and dropped by the beach. As I walked my way to his house, I spotted another construction of a beachfront property from a distance.

Bukas ang gate ng kaniyang bahay. The puppy is sleeping peacefully by the swing when I walked in. There's a mug resting on the round table by the balcony so I assume he's home.

"Alas?" I knocked softly at his door. Walang sumagot. I sighed and lowered my gaze. What would I say once I'm in front of him? Nakakabobo ang presensiya ni Alas. Repeated apologies won't work on him, either. I need him to understand what happened and how I never wanted it to happen in the first place.

"Alas? I'm coming in..." I welcomed myself inside his house. It's eerily quiet. The door to his bedroom is shut.

I winced when I saw piles of newspaper scattered atop the coffee table. My picture with Jayden dominated the headlines. I picked up a random newspaper and read the headline.

Jayden Von Cruz Already Married to a Non-Showbiz Girl for Years!

Nanghihina ko itong ibinaba at suminghap. The media had really crossed the line and fabricated a fairytale between the two of us. How the hell am I supposed to stop all of this? Ni bawal nga akong magsalita sa harap ng camera dahil sa mahigpit na bilin sa akin ni Ms. Patricia. And Jayden... God forbid! Sana naman ay ayusin na niya ang gulong ito. I hope he'd finally talk and clarify the issue. Mas lalong nakikilala ang banda nila dahil sa isyung ito pero hindi naman siguro niya gugustuhing mas lalo silang sumikat kung may naapakan na silang ibang tao, diba?

Your right ends when you violate the right of other people. I reminded it clearly inside of my head when our professor once told us as we've discussed the mass media guidelines.

Iginala ko ang paningin ko sa paligid. Where is he?

The doorknob to his bedroom twisted. Napatuwid ako ng tayo, naghihintay sa kaniyang paglabas.

But it wasn't him who emerged out of his bedroom.

I stared at the woman who's wearing nothing but Alas' white button-down shirt. Itinatali niya ang magulong buhok. Despite the plain appearance, her milky white skin and shaved legs told me that she's not just an ordinary woman.

Tinitigan ko ang kaniyang mukha. Gulat din siyang nakatingin sa akin. As I stared at her face longer, the more she became familiar to me.

Sumikip ang dibdib ko nang sa wakas ay maalala ko na kung sino siya! Nagsimula nang manginig ang mga labi ko habang patuloy siyang pinagmamasdan.

Her red-painted lips curled in a sneer. I guess she'd gotten over the shock of my appearance here and recognized who I am as well.

"What are you doing here?" I tried to hide my growing anger but my voice betrayed me.

"Oh. I should be the one asking the question. What are you doing here?"

It's not just her appearance. Even her voice changed. Her eyes held danger and venom, just by staring at you.

"Where's Alas?" I asked instead, telling myself that I should calm down to know what the hell is going on in here.

"Why are you looking for honey—"

"Honey?" I interrupted her. Mabilis na ang aking paghinga at namumuo ang mga luha ko sa mata. I couldn't even feel myself breathing. I'm just numb. Numb by the overwhelming pain.

She placed her manicured hand on her trimmed waist and raised an eyebrow at me. "Yeah. I'm Alas' girlfriend, Belle. Just so you know."

Masama na ang titig ko sa kaniya. She's a bitch back then, and I guess people have never changed. Nothing had changed in her. Except that she'd used the wealth of her family to improve her appearance. And it did a pretty good job. Trimmed waist, great complexion, soft hair, and angelic face.

I smiled bitterly at her.

"I guess I should go, then." Itinago ko sa likod ang mga kamay ko upang pigilan ang panginginig ng mga kamay ko. "Nice meeting you again, though... Cara."