Thank you upwiththerain for the picture!

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I woke up after I had been moved to another bed in the infirmary. I'd probably be stuck here for a few days to make sure my stomach didn't pour open.

I was very limited with my movements. If I felt any pressure or stretching, I would freeze and go back to how I had been. I saw the three bassinets in the room and I really wanted to look at them. The third baby is what I was very curious about. Was it a boy or girl? Was the baby ok? I didn't remember hearing cries. How was the third overlooked?

Jared came into the room with a smile. He wheeled two bassinets over. "The new mama has some hungry babies."

Jared was handing me a baby bundled in a pink blanket. "This is Baby A." Mikko walked into the room holding a second pink bundled baby. "What did you two choose to name Baby A?"

"Angelina," I said as I took the little girl from his hands.

Jared smiled. "I'm sure you know how to breastfeed, so I'll leave you to it. If you have any problems, give me a shout and I'll come back."

Mikko put the second pink bundle in the bassinet Angelina had come out of.

"Do you want me to leave while you feed them?" Mikko asked as he stood to the side.

I shook my head. "I'm going to need you when I finish with each one. I can’t move around just yet." The gown I had on, tied in the front, which made feeding time much easier. "So the third is a girl then?" I asked as I attempted to get Angelina to latch on.

He nodded and looked over the two babies sleeping. "A very strong little girl."

Angelina latched on, so I looked up at Mikko. "What happened after I passed out?"

"They had to suction gunk out of her lungs and she's a full two pounds lighter than her brother and sister." Mikko placed his hand on the third triplet. "She's on precaution for pneumonia and respiratory infections."

I nodded. That meant she inhaled fluid in her first breath. We were lucky that she had survived. "Jared put her on antibiotics, right?"

Mikko nodded. "He wants to do the birth certificates too. He just officially needs their names. Everything else is already filled out."

It took a long time to feed the three babies. I had problems getting Baby C (who I had no idea what her name was going to be) to latch on to feed. She felt so much smaller than her brother and sister. How could I have not known about her? Was there anything I could've done to help her grow?

These were all questions that would have to wait until I could talk to Jared again. But, in the moment, I was bonding with my newborn babies. There was nothing I wouldn't do for my children.

After feeding all three, I was exhausted.

Waking up in Mikko's bed confused me. I looked over to see the three bassinets. I gently sat up to see the three little babies.

I still had a hard time believing that the third one had been hidden in there.

Jared came in with a smile. "Good evening." He looked over the bassinets. "They're probably starting to get hungry again."

"How did we miss the third?"

"She was low and closer to your spine than normal. The ultrasounds never went that deep because I never suspected a third." He adjusted the pillows behind me so I could sit up. "She is fine. Her birth score is closer to her brother's and sister's now."

He gently took my smallest baby out of the bassinet and handed her to me. "You're on bed rest for a week. I don't want you moving much until your incision line heals."

I nodded and cradled my baby in my arms. "I don't even have a name for her." I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.

"Something that starts with a 'c' I'd assume," Jared said with a smile.

I smiled down at my Baby C. "Probably."

Mikko walked into the room and sat down on the other side of the bed, watching me hold our baby. It was so weird to think our baby.

Jared stayed as I breast fed all three of the babies. He was probably watching to make sure they all reacted normally. As far as I could tell, they were all normal newborns, even if the smallest had an issue latching on to feed, once she did, she fed just like the other two.

He checked my incision line once before leaving to get some sleep. He told me he'd be back in the morning to check up on everything.

Mikko ran his finger over Ben's face as I held him. He must've been told not to touch the top of his head, which was good. I'd kill him if he touched the crown of any of my children's head.

"What are we going to name her?" I asked looking at the smallest sleeping baby between my legs.

He shrugged. "What was your back up girl name?"

"It started with a 'b'."

"So?"

"Her name needs to start with a 'c' to match the theme."

"Of course." Mikko smiled. "She would've been 'Baby C' wouldn't she?"

I nodded. "So we need a girl C name."

"Cindy."

My face scrunched at my dislike. "Something else."

"Carol."

Too old, I thought as I shook my head again.

"Candy."

I scoffed. "She's not going to be a stripper."

He smirked. "Cassandra."

I nodded. "That's much better." I handed Benjamin to him. He looked panicked when I held the baby out.

"What?"

"He's too small." Mikko looked over his son. "I can't."

"You were holding the girls with no problem." I chuckled. "All those muscles and you can't hold your son?" Mikko shot me a dirty look. "You're not going to break him. I promise."

I placed my son in his father's hesitant arms. I could see Mikko's worry. He didn't want to hold the child too tightly, but he didn't want to drop him either.

I picked up my smallest girl. "Is your name going to be Cassandra?" I cooed, lightly tapping her chin getting the smallest smile out of her. I looked at Mikko. "I think she likes it." He beamed at his child's smile. I wouldn't tell him that her smile probably came from gas; I just let him think she was smiling for him. "Good job Daddy. You named your daughter." And so Cassandra was named.

Then Mikko's front door burst open so loudly I could hear it from his room. I looked over worried at Mikko. But he wasn't worried. He smiled at the baby boy in his arms. "It's just your father, Nikki and probably Mike."

I smiled, now excited. Nikki didn't run into the room like I thought she would. She peeked in first, probably making sure it was clear for the other two to come in with her. When she saw I was dressed, she came in with a huge smile on her face.

"Babies!" she whisper-yelled. Then she looked at the three bassinets. "Three?" She counted the bundles. "THREE!" she yelled.

All three babies started fussing before crying. I gave Nikki a glare.

"Really, you yell right now?"

Nikki smiled sheepishly as she took Angelina out of her bassinet. "I can't believe there are three little babies," she squealed quietly this time. "What a surprise!"

I nodded and looked over at my dad. "Come hold your grandchild, Grandpa."

He side smiled as he walked into the room and took Cassandra out of my arms. "This one's very small."

"I know," I said in a sigh. "We didn't even know she existed until Jared was scooping them out of me."

Nikki's face scrunched as she visualized what I had said, but she didn't take her eyes off the babies. "So what are their names?"

"You have Angelina. She was Baby A. Mikko has Baby B, Benjamin. And Dad has Cassandra, who would've been Baby C."

Nikki threw me a teasing look. "That's really how you named your babies? ABC's?"

I nodded. "It's easy to remember."

"Sounds like Sesame Street in here."

"You shush. They're my babies to name."

Nikki stuck her tongue out at me before smiling. "I love their names. It's cute."

"Uh huh," I said skeptically. "You're just sad none of them are named Nikki huh?"

She smiled guiltily and winked at me. "I'm still holding out for a middle name."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. They eventually settled into their rooms for the night. Nikki and Mike took the guest room while my dad took mine. The night was in no way restful.

Mikko helped by giving me the babies and burping them (very carefully) when they were finished. He still wasn't very comfortable holding little ones who were so small and fragile. Being triplets and a few weeks early left them all smaller than if they were in there alone.

Nikki offered to help out when I was feeding the second baby. Mikko had Cassandra and Angelina was not happy about being last to be fed. Nikki soothed the little screamer long enough that I could hand off Benjamin to his father.

"This is quite the process." Nikki sighed when she gave me Angelina.

I nodded. "And it'll be this busy for years, probably."

Nikki sat at the edge of the bed and watched Cassandra as she slept in the bassinet. "Can I stay for a few weeks to help out?" She looked at Mikko. "This is a lot of work to do alone."

Mikko put Benjamin in his bassinet. "She's not alone."

Nikki sighed. "I'm not uncomfortable handling them. In a few weeks you'll be comfortable taking care of them and until then, Emily can't do all the work."

"I'll talk to Finn about it tomorrow and make it official."

Nikki smiled before giving each baby a kiss and going to bed.

"She needs Finn permission to be here?"

Mikko nodded. "If it's more than a day or two yes."

"Why?"

Mikko took Angelina from me and put her in her bassinet. It was so peaceful when all three of them were sleeping.

"It makes others in the pack more comfortable when everything's approved. Although all the packs are connected, it makes wolves uncomfortable to be around a wolf they don't know. They don't want their territory encroached."

"No one would encroach on Finn's land."

Mikko laid down. "It's happened before. It's just a precaution."

"It's just Finn keeping tabs on all of his wolves."

Mikko smiled. "Yeah, it's Finn keeping everyone under his thumb. There's no room for rebellion under his rule."

I slowly laid down next to him. "That would make Finn quite the tyrant then."

Mikko smirked. "Maybe one day you'll see what Finn is willing to do to keep his power."

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "And what does that mean?"

Mikko pulled me close to him. "Maybe later. You have other things to focus on besides Finn's secrets."

I started to give in to sleep. I needed to get it while I could. I wanted to know what it was that Mikko was referring to, but I probably wouldn't find out unless I became a werewolf and witnessed whatever it was Mikko was hinting at.

My week of bed rest offered no rest. I was constantly feeding or burping or changing diapers. Nikki stuck around to help out, but with three newborns, it was still constant. Mikko and Nikki took breaks and helped every other night. Any break I got lasted five minutes before it was interrupted by cries.  

I hardly even slept. If I heard a baby squeak, I'd be wide awake.

Mikko ducked out to get some sleep once a day. Finn and his daughter came by once a day to visit the triplets, usually when Mikko ducked out. Philip came too; he wouldn't hold the babies though. I saw that a lot when newborns were around non-fathers.

I was cleared to be off bed rest when Jared cleared me nine days after surgery. My incision line was healed with no signs of infection. I just had to be careful not to lift anything heavy or do anything to rupture the line at all.

My workload with the babies went way up after that. Mikko didn't have to move the babies around by himself anymore.

It definitely took a while to get used to having babies in the house. I didn't even use their nursery yet. I used Mikko's room to keep the three babies in. My room wasn't big enough for the three bassinets.

Nikki was very helpful for the three weeks that she was around. We didn't have time to do any chatting because we were constantly busy with one of the babies. When they napped, so did we.

On her last day with me, the babies took a long nap, so I had time to talk to my friend before she had to leave.

She was folding clothes and putting them in her bag. She smiled and looked over at me. "I thought you'd be napping."

I shook my head. "No. I wanted to spend some time with you, even if that leaves me really tired later."

Nikki smiled and patted her bed. "So sit and start chatting lady. It feels like we've hardly spoken the whole time I've been here."

I carefully sat on her bed. It might have been a few weeks since surgery, but it was all still very tender. "I found out that you were right about your theory right before I went into labor."

"My theory?" She thought out loud. "You mean the one about Finn planning Mikko distracting you from Eddy and Margaret."

I nodded. "That exact one."

Her jaw dropped slightly. "How did you figure that out?"

"I heard Mikko and Finn having a disagreement about something and it came up." Nikki's brows rose in surprise. "That's not even the juicy part. Mikko used to be married, but his wife was murdered."

She dropped the shirt she had in her hand and pushed her suitcase onto the floor. "He was married before?"

I smiled at the shock on her face. "Finn told me. Apparently it was a long time ago."

"So why is he a total dick?" From her voice, I knew that she was still completely surprised.

"Finn said it's because he's afraid to lose someone he loves again."

Nikki rolled her eyes. "What's there to be afraid of when he locks you up with the babies all the time?"

I shrugged, unsure of the answer to that. There might have been a few reasons. Mikko could be pushing me away just because of his fear. His horrible behavior before could have come from that fear. The damage the relationship between Mikko and I had was all because of something that had absolutely nothing to do with me.

"I don't know Nikki. This is all on Mikko. He's not going to change how he thinks. He might never want to have a wife or girlfriend again. He might always be too afraid."

She shook her head. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. He's just being stubborn. He could've gotten over this a long time ago."

I nodded. "But he hasn't."

Nikki sighed. "Maybe you should confront him about it. You know about her now. Tell him you're done paying for his fear. Either he gives the relationship a shot or you're free to go find love with someone else and he's not allowed to interfere."

A high pitch scream stopped our conversation. Nikki sighed. "I guess I should finish packing then."

I sighed sadly and got off the bed. "I suppose so."

Nikki was finished packing her clothes a half an hour later. We couldn't talk about it anymore because Mikko came back.

Saying goodbye to Nikki felt like the worst thing in the world. She had been loads of help with the babies. I couldn't imagine that I would have gotten through those weeks without her help.

Mikko had slowly gotten used to being around the babies. It was obvious that in all his years, he had never handled a baby. At least Nikki was there to help with the slack.

My life became a blur of caring for three babies. I was constantly doing something. I had no time for myself anymore and I wasn't used to that. I would've paid thousands to have three hours where I wasn't taking care of one of the babies.

It made me miss Nikki. It made me miss my dad. It made me miss my life pre-baby. I just didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted sleep!

Mikko opened the door to my room with a gentle knock. "Can't you hear them crying?"

I huffed unhappily. "You feed them if they're bothering you. There's milk in the fridge." I didn't even turn to see him.

Mikko sighed and walked into the room, shutting out the noise from the cries I constantly heard.

"What's wrong?" He sat down on the edge of my bed, getting a view of my backside.

"I'm just tired."

"It's normal to be tired."Mikko put his hand on my hip. "Having triplets is a lot of work." He reasoned, understandingly for once.

"I'm tired of doing all of this." I admitted, feeling incredibly guilty that I didn't want to take care of my nearly a month old children. "I'm already a bad mom."

Mikko chuckled. "You're not a bad mom. You're exhausted; maybe even have a little postpartum depression. It'll get better." I just sighed. "I'll call Jared and have him stop by. I'll get help with the kids. You just rest for now."

Once Mikko was out of the room I started crying. I felt guilty. I felt like a bad mom. Most of all, those thoughts didn't take away the fact that I didn't want to take care of my own babies anymore. It was all just too much work that I didn't ask for.

I heard the cries stop maybe ten minutes later. Then I fell asleep.

I heard talking when I woke up. I got out of bed and put a robe on. Maybe if I checked on the babies, I would have the urge to care for them again. I went into the nursery and stared at my three children. They were all in the same crib, sleeping contentedly.

I stood over them, but didn't touch the crib. I had gone through so much because of these three babies. The pregnancy hasn't been that great. I had been uprooted and separated from my family and friends. I had lost someone I thought I loved. I didn't gain anything but a headache by conceiving these babies… who I couldn't take my eyes off of.

What was so amazing about these things?

What made these things worthy of unconditional love, but not me? They came from me. I made them.

"Emily?" Mikko's gentle whisper came from the doorway. I continued to stare at the babies.

"I'm just looking."

I felt, rather than heard, Mikko come closer to me. "Jared's here if you want to talk to him."

I sighed and closed my eyes tightly to keep from crying. "He's just going to tell me what I already know," I whispered back to him. I didn't want to wake these cry machines up.

"And what's that?" Mikko wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"That I'm unstable." I shrugged him off of me. He never comforted me before, why the hell should he start now? "That postpartum depression is something that happens to everyone. That I'll get better as long as I load up on drugs."

I left Mikko in the nursery and went back to my room. I wanted to slam the door, but that would've woken the cry machines. No one wanted to wake those up.

I sat in my bed and stared at the blankets. I looked up when the door opened. Jared came in and shut the door behind himself. "I hear that you're having some problems today."

"Just today?" I let out a small laugh. "It's not just today. I just can't handle it all today."

Jared stood at the foot of my bed. "You can talk about whatever is bothering you with me."

"Whatever I say will just be used against me." I snapped grumpily. "I'd rather not."

"I won't tell anyone anything we talk about." He sounded truthful, but he was still a wolf, bound to tell the alpha and his son what they wanted to know. "I have all the rights a human doctor has with his patients. As long as you're not a danger to yourself or to others, no one has to know what we talk about."

"To others?" I narrowed my eyes on him. "I wouldn't hurt my children," I said angrily. "I've gone through too much to give birth to those kids. Hurting them would be a waste of my time."

Jared gave me a small smile. "Why don't you tell me what's really bothering you?"

I huffed and leaned back against the headboard. "Mikko."

Jared sat down on the foot of my bed. "What about Mikko?"

"Now that I gave birth, he's done a 180. He's helpful and supportive. He's gotten up every night when they're crying."

"That's usually a good thing. Most men don't have enough energy to help out like Mikko has."

I nodded. "As far as being a father and helping me out when I was post-op, it was great. But it's all a show. It's all to keep me from flipping out and taking his kids away from him."

Jared's brows creased in confusion. "You think Mikko's pretending to be a good father for his kids and a support system for you?"

"I know he's faking being supportive. He admitted it himself before the triplets were even born!" I looked down at the blanket. "He's selfish and doesn't care about my happiness. He just wants to keep me from finding anyone who would become a stepfather."

"Maybe Mikko changed his mind. He could be really trying to be what you need him to be."

I shook my head. "I need him to leave me alone. I don't want his help now that they’re born, when I needed it the whole time I was pregnant." I felt tears starting. "At least if he started faking it before it wouldn't have been so bad. I wouldn't have known." I wiped the tears away before they could fall and took a deep breath to collect myself. "He's just waiting for me to put my guard down or get comfortable so he can slap me back down by bringing some attractive whore over to flaunt in my face."

"Not trusting Mikko doesn't make you a bad mom, Emily. You're just overwhelmed. You need to make time for yourself when you're raising these kids." Jared handed me a small packet of tissues. He must have known I'd end up a crying mess.

"Being a parent is hard. You should ask Finn, Madeline, maybe Philip when he's comfortable to baby sit once in a while. Maybe once a week for an hour or two. You can take a bath, go to the spa, go shopping if you want. Maybe Mikko can take you out. You both deserve a break every once in a while."

"Am I depressed?"

Jared shook his head. "No more than anyone else in the world. You just need a break. You hang out in here until you're ready. I'll help Mikko with the babies."

He put a breast pump on the bedside table. "I'd recommend feeding the babies yourself to help with your mood, but use this when you're feeling full."

Guilt ate at me as he walked out the door. "One at a time." I conceded. "Then no more."

Jared smiled. "Of course. Enjoy your day off."

I slouched down into my covers and laid down. Maybe some sleep would make me feel better. Talking to Jared really helped. Maybe if I could talk to him regularly, I could cope with everything.

Slowly it all got easier. I talked to Nikki once a day. I talked to Jared when I felt overwhelmed. I tried not to think anything into Mikko helping me out with the babies.

Everything would work out in the end. I had to believe that. When my kids were old enough to feed and bathe themselves, my life would get infinitely easier.

The babies were three months old when everything fell back into place. They were my pride and joy again. Mikko was packing to leave for a job. I didn't want the details. He had given me the week's notice I had asked for. I even marked it on the calendar to make sure that I didn't forget. I was still a bit forgetful about long term things.

I leaned on the door frame as I watched him getting his things together. The babies were finally napping.

Usually I would be too, but I needed to clear things up with Mikko.

He looked at me. "What's wrong?" He shoved some clothes in the duffle bag.

"I just wanted to talk before you left."

His shoulders slumped momentarily before he resumed packing. "What's wrong now?"

I pushed myself out of the doorway and slowly made my way towards him. "I heard a rumor that our chance meeting at the club wasn't so much chance as it was planned."

He stopped putting things in his bag. "And from whom did you hear that?"

I had a moment of hesitation, but I couldn't stop because I really needed to know. "From you, the day I went into labor."

He sighed with a nod. There was really no hiding from it if I had heard it from him. "You're right." He admitted. "Meeting you at the club was planned."

"Did you try to get me pregnant? Or was that not part of your master plan to keep me away from Eddy?" I did my best to keep my temper in check. I couldn't explode of him because I was mad.

"That was an accident. The plan was to take your mind off of Eddy's mating until it became a strong bond."

"So you just wanted to yank me around too," I said in a sigh while I sat on his bed. "All anyone wants to do is use me."

Mikko sat down next to me. "I'm sorry you're the one who got hurt in all of this." He patted my leg. "It'll get better. Everything has settled and the babies are doing great."

"You mean as good as it's going to get," I muttered.

Mikko nodded. "I know you want a traditional family, but that's not how it's going to be."

"Only because you don't want to try."

He got off the bed and went back to putting things in his bag. "And you refuse to accept it."

"It's fine that you don't want a family like I do, but you keep men away from me. You make me undesirable."

He smirked. "You should just be focused on the kids."

"Just as much as you, but you're still ducking out at night to go get your screw on."

His brow rose at me, but he kept packing. "You're keeping tabs on me now?"

I shrugged as I brought my legs under me and sat on my ankles. "It seemed fair to return the favor."

"Are you afraid I'll give the kids a stepmom?" he said with a smile.

"No. I know that you're afraid to have a girlfriend because you can't get over your dead wife," I blurted out and instantly regretted it.

His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed on me. I looked down at Mikko's bedding and started picking at it. Obviously he still wasn't over it. His reaction told me he wasn't over her. A dead woman was ruining my children's chance at having their parents together.

"I don't know how you found out about her, but you don't know half of it." His tone left no room for disagreement. "You should go pack up what you'll need for the kids. I'm dropping you off at Finn's once you're done packing."

I didn't move. I needed to stand my ground if we were ever going to raise these kids together. "I think you need to talk to someone about whatever happened. Finn wasn't very forthcoming with the details."

Mikko shoved more things into the bag. "Of course he'd be the one to tell you. He can't keep his nose out of everyone's business."

"Sounds like it runs in the family," I commented as I looked up at him. "You don't have to tell me anything. I know that. But you can't stop me from moving on and trying to get some semblance of normalcy in the lives of my children."

He scoffed. "They'll grow up just fine."

"I grew up in a house full of love and affection until my mother died. I want my kids to witness love and caring. I don't want my kids thinking they were just a mistake and that their parents would have never been together if it weren't for one night's mistake."

Mikko zipped up the bag roughly. "Well that's the only reason they were born. They are the result of one night's mistake. There's no point trying to hide it."

"When they're older. You're going to be gone when my toddlers will ask me why their daddy's always gone. They're going to ask me why daddy and mommy don't love each other." I paused as I ran the scenario in my mind. "Am I supposed to lie to them?"

"Yes," he said simply. "Just like they'll think Santa is real, or the boogeyman is under their bed or in the closet."

"I'm not going to lie and tell them that we're in love when it's the farthest thing from the truth."

Mikko ran his hand over his face. "We have time to talk about this when they're older."

I shook my head. "No. We won't. You're going to be gone. Children observe a lot more than you'd think."

"Then we'll have to fake it."

I shook my head. "Or I can find them a stepdad."

Mikko's eye narrowed on me. "My kids won't call anyone else their father."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "My finding any kind of love is all put on hold because you don't want the kids to have a stepdad?"

"I'm not going to be a dead beat. I'm going to be there for my children."

"So I just need to accept my fate?" He nodded. "I get to have a lonely existence until my kids are old enough to take care of themselves."

"You won't be alone." I almost believed the sincerity. "You have two packs to lean on."

"You know what I mean Mikko!" I glared at him. "I want a partner I can lean on, who will love me back!"

"I can give you everything you need, except the love you're looking for." His tone told me he was trying to let me down gently. It didn't matter.

I got off the bed. "I guess that clears up any confusion I had. Our meeting was a planned event. The kids are accidents. You can go out and sleep with people, I can't. You and I will never be anything more than co-parents. And last, but certainly not least, you're not ever going to get over your dead wife so your children will have to pay."

I could see in his eyes that I had gone one step too far by mentioning his dead wife. "They're not paying for anything! You're just being bitter because I'm refusing to love you."

I bit my tongue to stop from saying something I'd just regret. "My bad. That's what I meant to say: I'm just bitter." I walked out of the room. "I'm glad we had this little chat."

I went to the nursery with a duffle bag of my own and packed up some clothes and diapers I'd use while at Finn's. Once I had a bag packed for me, we loaded the babies into the car as they slept.

I didn't have anything else to say to Mikko. Maybe during his next trip away I'd be able to find a boyfriend behind his back. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to be loved.

Mikko unloaded each of the babies at Finn's and kissed them all goodbye, telling them that he loved them before he left. I got the cold 'bye' I had expected.

I'd have to go with the flow for the next couple of years. My life would be dedicated to my kids and my kids alone. It would probably take years to rid my body of all the extra weight it had been carrying around since giving birth anyway. 

A/N::

So there it is. The last chapter. The epilogue will be up on Monday. I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.