Khadeeja's PoV

Now finally all our guests including aunts and cousins were standing.

The ambiance was lighting us up.

Janaziah looked so happy,he looked so happy with her,I was getting emotional looking over them. They look beautiful as a couple.

"Why did they exchange rings first? You should have,you're the eldest after all!"

Tahira whispered.

"Because we love her the most,does it matter! And where were you all this time?"

I enquired.

"Keeping an eye at the groom, strictly"

She answered.

What's the matter? Where is aunt ?

I kept looking around and could see her nowhere. Samara,Qahtan's sister came to me,we chatted a bit and she is ever sweet and easy to talk to. Nothing is wrong I calm myself because Samara looks happy. Finally I could notice mum at the side preparing the dinner table for the feast.

"Khadeeja,what about yours and Raidah's ring ceremony? Why is aunt preparing the dinner table?"

Aliyah asked confusedly, I was the same.

Raidah left her seat from Baraaq's family and whispered the same question. I don't know why. I shook my head.

And the families were invited to start the dinner. The dinner was in the back lawn and grass was yet dewy,the breezy surrounding and smell of love as I call it ,was filling me up with grace, I was too jovial to invite negativity, too grateful to be spoilt. I needed no ring; he was there,he came, it was enough.

Raidah caught mum's hand and I could hear between her soft spoken words.

'Mum Khads ring ceremony?'

She asked.

"Qahtan is against such customs and so is Baraaq,we couldn't say no to Ibrahim's family because they already bought the ring,more than the ring it was their excitement for the ceremony we couldn't deny, I am sorry baby you girls won't have the ceremony"

Mum's answer brought a smile to my face,I looked at him. This is why I love you Qahtan;never change...never even for the world,even ever for me...

But Raidah wasn't happy with the news,she ate small,smiled half and stayed almost silent the whole dinner. Baraaq's family are adoring how she looks tonight,she looks magnificent but she looks sad and I know how hard she's trying to keep up. Is it not wrong to get her tied in a knot like this...what's the use to tie her up when she doesn't know how to open this knot?

And then I look at Baraaq and I looked at him for a long time and realized Raidah could learn,Baraaq would teach her how to open this knot,she won't be tied forever he'll always be there.

Aunt kissed my cheek,I looked at her. I hope she is happy and I hope I keep her happy and everybody else especially you, Mr.No 1.

They all left our hearts beating at racer's pace. We went to bed but none of us could sleep,we couldn't talk for the first time after an event we are speechless, we use spend all nights talking about this day and now we are speechless because everything was so perfect, Alhumdullilah! I feel small as I think about the days I spent in ungratefulness, complaining about my life. Only if I could see this was coming. Allah is great!

The next day Mum had to visit Granna. Dad was out and our brother's wife left for their houses. They don't play much in our life,they've been detached almost always. Maybe we should have bought them to our home first but Dad bought a house nearby for both my brothers. Perhaps it was wise because they don't seem very jolly.

I was washing clothes in the bathroom and the others were cleaning everything and setting things up. The mess after a function, let's just not talk about it.

"Can you imagine how'd I decorate the whole room once it's all mine!"

Rumera has started again.

"No I cannot imagine a pigs sty in my house,it's aches my head!"

Janaziah slammed in.

Girls.

The door bell rang.

"Raidah can you see the door"

I yelled from the bathroom.

"I'm sorry I'm at the top shelf" she frowned.

"Janaziah!"

I yelled again.

I heard no one. I washed my hands and loosely wrapped my scarf and opened the door.

Qahtan...

My lashed shot down to the floor.

"Assamualikum"

He said looking at the side.

"Walai kum assalaam"

I stuttered.

I looked behind and realized it was a conspiracy!

How cheap!

"Is Baba home?"

He asked.

My heart stopped and I looked at him,did he refer my Dad as Baba,he use to call him Uncle till yesterday. I realized I'm looking at him ,shoot down again.

He cleared his throat. Oh I should speak.

"No...uh..he's.. Ugh..."

"It's alright,I'll come later"

He turned and walked away.

Oh...

My heart is in my knees.

"Whaa--- he didn't even smile at you, teach romance Khadeeja!"

Janaziah grunted.

"Well that idiot is now smiling at the pole! Look at him. Exactlyyy why I hate him"

Raidah rolled her eyes.

I ran to the window,he is standing there cross smiling and shaking his head. Awwwwwh my heart is melting.

He likes me...he likes me!

"Oh my god he likes me!"

I screamed loudly enough to scare them.

They all laughed at me while I curbed my embarrassment by digging my face into the pillow.

Days went blissfully smooth. We were all happy,Raidah didn't seem to bother her self much with his partners thoughts she rather gave time in prayers and Qu'ran; best therapies, best remedies. Told ya she's clever.

It was Sunday,

The clouds were roaring and we had an unexpected guest: Safiyah,a cousin who is married out of country,we don't see her much. But she's a chatty one,the one's no matter how much time have passed you've seen them you can always have the liesure of a good conversation. I wouldn't really say her conversations are of best interest,cause a little gossip and bad mouthing do I notice but I guess when it comes to cousins and relatives you rarely can talk about any other matter.

"She has barely lost five pounds and she tells everyone about her diet routine as magical!"

She said as we all laughed.

"And your sister in-law, how is she?"

Asked Janaziah.

"Oh she's always busy talking to her fiance on the phone, I don't really get into her matter much but she's a whiny witch at times!"

"Oh Safiyah I don't think she is that bad at all!"

I laughed but I didn't wanted to laugh,why are all girls so complaint about their in laws, they are yours...aren't they yours?

She quickly shuffled her topics and she can barely keep on to one,it feels like she has this whole box of talks to finish that she can't afford to lose.

"I was so shocked when I heard Qahtan is getting engaged to Khadeeja"

She said in a low tone.

I was arranging clothes in my closet but her words caught my attention. I went beside her and raised my eyebrows,why?

"Didn't he had a thing for Raidah!?"

She said in her tone almost scared.

My breath lost, why would she say something like that? I've been through that,I don't want to return to that state,it was exhausting and dark....

I turned.

"That is crap! Whole crap! Who said that to you!"

Raidah yelled from the bathroom as she came back with anger on her face.

"I heard,what heard...like everybody says so...I've seen!"

She matched Raidah's tone.

My heart was breaking ,I could feel it...once again.

"That's crap I am telling there is no such thing! And if it was so wouldn't I know!"

Raidah started to fight her.

"Raidah don't put words into my mouth,I'm saying what I've heard! Stop talking like that to me,you're being disrespectful!"

Stop Raidah...

"Safiyah you are the one being disrespectful! This my sister's fiance you are talking about! Linking my name with him and that too in front of her self!"

She wouldn't stop.

"I mean... just saying okay....don't be so offended, it's all in a light talk"

I could see Raidah mouth "shut up" as she walked away and Safiyah now insulted shuffled her topics but no more was it comfortable for anybody.

Why! Why? Again! He had a thing for her, then he should've told Dad!

I cried in the kitchen, why do you do this Qahtan,why are you so hard?

Days passed by with distress and discomfort. My thoughts wouldn't leave. It's more painful than ever... If he really did have a thing for Raidah he shouldn't have engaged me...but he did....then even so have Raidah done the same for Dad,he might have done so for His parents. I understand now what took him so long.

Qahtan earns well,he has a good house and he is quite handsome...Raidah could have everything then and not only a good man.

Should talk to mum to talk his mum about it.

Maybe we were never meant to be.

Raidah and I have been fighting a lot lately. She thinks I'M over reacting , Qahtan could never like her she says....if so Raidah...if so.

The next morning when I came back from the grocery store I went directly to my room even though I saw Rumii gesturing me to come to the kitchen from the window. I'm in no mood for anything.

"Khadeeja..."

Oh my god! What is Qahtan doing here?

I nod. He greeted and I greeted back.

I rushed outside. Why am I in my most ugliest form whenever he comes over! Like it matters now.....

"He's come to see you Khadeeja"

Said mum to my surprise.

"Me?"

"Yes..he got all the permission.. Go see him!"

"No! I can't... I'm not going!"

"Why?"

"I'm shy....and shaking.."

Mum laughed and send her invisible message to Janaziah to accompany me.

She took me inside. My hands were trembling.

Has he come to break off the engagement or ?

"Khadeeja I know Uncle has asked you.."

He started before I could completely even enter inside the room.

"Khadeeja will you marry me?"

He said at once.

My eye popped out,really? Really you idiot!

"I wanted to propose myself"

He said, Jana was overexcited at the side.

I looked at him briefly, his hands are shaking too,he looks nervous... He likes me? Oh yes he does! Just look at him!

"Khadeeja"

He said again.

Qahtan say my name at least hundred more times that this could feel real......a hundred more times..

"Khadeeja answer him"

Jana pressed her fingers on my back.

"Yes I do..."

I said without a voice but he still smiled.

He looks gorgeous when he smiles.

Can I finally have you to call my own?

"Thank you very much"

He said as the look of victorious content brightened his face.

But again my fragile idiotic mind.

What if you say no will he propose to Raidah...

This is crap..no no..

"What if I say no! What will you say then!?"

I blurted out loudly.

"What the --!"

Janaziah looked at me and halted.

He looked at me in horror and then looked away. He sighed and then said.

"I'd say please don't say that..."

I was now beyond the trust that he loved me.

He came to level by bowing down a little and asked again.

"Will you marry me Khadeeja?"

And more confidently than ever I said.

"Yes I do"

He then walked with his head high and proud smile. He now belongs to me and I to him.

I literally was a blob fish how with a smile plastered that couldn't get rid of,like my face has been painted by a clown,I knew I looked funny but I couldn't help looking so.

He stayed in the living room waiting for Dad and when he'd be by himself he'd smile and anybody passed by he'd sit faceless.

I laughed at how good he is at his tricks and how crazy I was to ever think I could give him up...Naah...mine.

He talked to my brothers and then when finally dad came,we peeked front the flower curtains.

"Baba I actually had something really important I wanted to talk about but I couldn't find a proper time"

He became all serious.

What could it be?

Dad nodded.

"I know Baba that you want to gift your daughter with things that I have no intention to intervene in but I was just thinking about informing you that there is no such need to do so,she is my responsibility now,her needs would be my duty..Alhumdullilah I'm doing well and In shaa Allah I'll be the middleman when Allah provides for what she asks for. I do not want to make this wedding an expensive party but something dear and personal,the less expenses and gifts the more Allah will endow us with blessing... I don't want to interfere in any dreams that you have for her,she is yours but never do feel the pressure as I am there"

Could I love this man more? I think I can....I think I will,his words brought tears in my eyes and streaming flow on my face did nothing but thanked Allah for such a blessing can in a form of the best companion I could ask for...I ran to my room and I cried after offering two rakats salaah. Thankful for him,thankful to Allah.

I went back to hear them again and he us still talking and I love to hear him talk,there's something so calm and soothing about his voice something so soft and shaky about his words.

"Yeah I've seen that too, if you need help Baba do call me"

He said as he sat beside him with his hands in his.

"Yes...if you told me that earlier I wouldn't have bought Khadeeja anything at all!"

My brother joked.

They all slightly laughed.

"Baba I was going to tell you on the day of the engagement but Baraaq was present there and so was Ibrahim. Baba I know Ibrahim and his family are Alhumdullilah wealthy and strong but I know Baraaq he might be yet struggling but he is proud and hardworking. I feared if my words would bring their ego to do the same could harm Baraaq's being. I know for sure if he knows I've said such,he'd say so. He only haven't spoken because he would not have been able to find a place or proper way of saying...."

Qahtan explained.

"You did right son,there should be no pressure"

Dad said proudly.

"We are are glad Qahtan you introduced his proposal to us,we didn't even have him in mind until you told us about him"

My brother said these words and bid him a goodbye.

He left,I looked at Raidah.

Oh Allah now she might be mad that Qahtan trapped him.

Later that night she was brushing her hair when I finally had a word.

"Are you mad Qahtan introduced Baraaq to Dad?"

"No..why would I be mad,Qahtan wouldn't do anything to hurt me on purpose after all he has no consent of my likes"

She said easily not giving a line in face,

She's not mad. Great.

True indeed.

Another month just passed like that no news,no update.

Then once a relative came in flying saying that Baraaq's family cannot marry him in two months they need time.

They didn't told us so.

"So only Raidah won't be married with us?"

Janaziah asked.

"They haven't informed us"

I answered dryly.

"Who's there?"

Raidah asked Rumii who just came in after unlocking the door.

"Charlie's parents the converts"

She said.

"Why they here?"Raidah muttered.

"They have asked for your hand in marriage for Charlie"

Rumii said laughing.

"What!! Doesn't he know you are engaged now!"

I exclaimed.

Raidah's PoV

"He called me last night I didn't pick up,he's been texting with different numbers,I had to block them all"

I said in a tired voice.

I am tired.

Charlie was an acquaintance from university, his mum was a Muslim convert and often use to tease and bully other Muslimahs for ruining his life cause his mum 'changed'.

He converted himself last year and since then he's chasing me to marry him. I don't like him. I am not being arrogant over this, I just don't want to.

I can say about myself that I am a Romantic to be the least when comes to love at first sight crap,ain't real.

"Haven't they heard I'm engaged!"

I grunted.

Mum entered and sighed.

"They say they heard Baraaq has called off this engagement because he doesn't want to marry this year"

So things have moved here. Everybody has been hearing this but we haven't got a word. I'm not waiting for him,I've had enough. I'm too old already,I want to be married.

"So did he think we would marry Raidah to him! Wierdo!"

Rumii shook her head with a frown.

"Well what's wrong with him?"

Mum asked now angry.

"He is weird mum,he stalks her and was a bully and he's a hateful convert "

"Muslim! He is a muslim,he is no more what he was! And Allah might have forgiven him,Allah knows they might be more greater in his eyes than we are! Watch your words Rumera, I would be ashamed to have little minds in my house"

Mum bolted out of the room.

I sighed,why is everything going so wrong.

But this is it I am not waiting,no matter what.

If dad asks me to wait,I would deny. After all the proposal I've had these years he only could choose Baraaq?

I hope he wouldn't find something similar again.