Raidah's Pov
 
I was cleaning the floor when I saw Sana feeding her son.

She almost looks fed up. I have seen my sister in law feeding her kids,she seems a bit happier. I have seen my brother's wife feeding her sons,she said it was the most beautiful blessing from the Lord.

Something in me craves to be like the last one yet something in me is like the first one.

I ran my hands on my stomach. A baby? What would I do with him? Or her? I do not want a daughter.

My head falls to the memories when Khadeeja said she'd like to have as many daughters as she can;So she could name them after the prophet's daughters. I always wanted only one child and that too a daughter. No more. She cannot live here. The area is not safe for girls to grow up. The man who lives across the street is being executed for a rape. His son is the same.

I have forgotten about that night. Or atleast I pretend to do so, Baraaq as well.

I smile to the kids. I feel ashamed of my ownself. When? When did I made myself so heartless that I cannot even appreciate these little souls. That I have become so selfish not to appreciate the light of elderly.

"Raidah clean the living room,Amma has vomited in the floor" latifa ordered.

I sigh. Light of the elderly.  Their vomit stinks worse than of the children.

I again cleaned the living room. The boys have scattered the mud across the backyard corridor.  I was never this person who use to ignore the work and move on but these days I cheat. Alhamdullilah,my health is not showing any bad signs of the pregnancy.  I almost feel like I'm not pregnant.

I folded the clothes and squeezed them inside the cupboard.  I see Baraaq being early from work these days but we don't talk anymore.

"I need to go and see mum,she's been so worried since she heard about the go-- about the news. Can you drop me home in your way to work" I asked formally.

He just nodded.

I went to his mother.

"can I visit my mum today?" I asked.

She too nodded. I saw Sana rolling her eyes.

I texted Jana from Baraaq's phone about my plan. She texted back immediately that she too would come and ask Khadeeja the same.

I wore my Abaya. Nothing is fitting me these days,I've gained a lot of weight.

I sat in the car. I felt happiness.  So peaceful, so serene.

It's been almost a year since I've been home.

He parked outside and I did not even look back. I'm so glad to be home.

Rumi screamed as I entered "Allah! Raidah you're looking so cute!" 

I laughed,I'm probably looking very ugly.

"oh my lord! Aww you look weird though,so fat!" She exclaimed.

I scrunched my nose.

Mum hugged me and kissed my forehead.

"Alhamdullilah. You look beautiful Raidah" she compliments.

I sat looking around. "where is Khadeeja?"

"she's in the washroom"  Rumi replied.

"and Jana?"

"She's not home yet. I texted her a hour back,she said Ibrahim will drop her. She might be home any moment" Rumi answered.

She is not taking her eyes off me and now Khadeeja has joined her with the same expression.

"what?" I blushed.

"I love you" Khadeeja hugged me.

Wow,this feels special. I'm six months pregnant but this is first time it feels so.

They are treating me like I'm precious,it is making me uncomfortable inside. My tears accumulated with this feeling of overwhelming love.

Janaziah Pov

I want to go.

"can you be quick Ibrahim?" I knocked again on the bathroom.

He comes out with a look of sheer laziness.

We are fighting everyday. Everyone nowadays with a single conversation comes too many arguments.

So I've decided to take a break from him. He agrees with the plan as  we don't talk anymore.

"I'm already late" I grunted.

"ain't going nowhere special" he murmured.

"it is special to me" I mumbled

"yeah pretty special I recall,somewhere you can go and chat about how much you hate your life and your husband"

"Ibrahim I never spoke I'll about you!" I defended myself.

"sell your lies somewhere else" he hissed.

"ibrahim you just do not underwhelming point why we have these arguments!  It is because You do not want to alter your habits!"
I stated.

"No!  It is because you compare your life to your sister's and that is why you hate me!"

" I don't hate you!"

"stop please! I gave you everything I could Jana. You're so ungrateful!"

"I do not need all this! I need you Ibrahim. I need the security that we both accompany each other to Jannah but you're busy smoking these buts of cigarettes"

"my smoking has nothing to do with me ending in hell do not twist your talks!"

"Ibrahim you do not pray!"

"Pray! Pray? Do not nag on me! I do not care. When i'll get older like Qahtan I'll pray!" he creaked.

"you cannot be like him ever! He is been praying since he was little,his piety has took years to complete him as he is today! Do not make fun of something you do not understand"  I spoke fiercely.

This is where it turns him into fire. His pride is gigantic.  Now he raises himself from the bed and comes to my face.

"if I lived a life like him you wouldn't have this large house nor cars or money to spend like you do today,you wouldn't be the girl you are today. If I didn't married you; you would be rotting up like Raidah like a mice in the gutter!"

"don't you dare Ibrahim! Don't you dare!" I raised my finger,he caught it down.

"I gave you this life and you still think their's is better. I spit on that lifestyle.  I have not lived like a king nor kept you like a Queen to tell me I am less in any equation than those men"

"when they work end and the land would turn upside down; this pride would not help you nor your wealth on you would be resurrected. You might wealthy Ibrahim to yourself but when I look at you with the sight of my lord's vision there nobody any poor that I've known!"

He flared his nostrils but he didn't move.

" get out then! "
He pushed me.

I was disgusted by his words. I cannot wait. It's been years now. He doesn't understand. 

I wore my hijab and drive at mum's.

Tears were flooding me. I cannot make him see what I see. His pride has had him blinded. He would be doomed if he doesn't mend his ways.!

I entered the house and attended everybody with a wide fake smile.

After dinner when our brother's wives had left and we sisters were left alone to each other's company I turned to Khadeeja "you're the luckiest Khadeeja" I spoke with a little envy leaking from my face.

"you're good as well" she said with discomfort.

"I'm not sure"  I spoke low enough to be left unnoticed.

"Brother Qahtan is amazing. Isn't he?" I asked.

"alhamdullilah"  she replied.

"and Baraaq, Raidah?"
I asked.

"he's amazing. Alhamdullilah"  she replied.

"and how you like Charlie?" Rumi uttered out of nowhere.

"what about him?!" I said inattentive.

But Raidah picked it.

"why do you ask of him? What is the matter Rumi!" Raidah spoke a little higher.

"do you like him?" Rumi asked yet again.

I hit my head.

"what does it have to do with you,if any of us like him!" Khadeeja scolded.

"because I like him" she spoke nervously.

I hit my head again.

"No No No No No" Raidah took herself from the bed to the window. Shaking her head throughout trying to breath out.

"are you okay?" Khadeeja embraced her.

"is she out of her mind?!" Raidah shouted.

"are you out of your mind! Are you -- is this really happening!?"  Khadeeja spoke bewildered.

I couldn't stop hitting my head.

"he is Charlie!" I screamed.

"he is Issa now" she softly corrected.

"no way! You bought his lies. He was behind me. Now he is behind you. He is casanova,he loves to play"
Raidah exposed him.

"he isn't like he was. He has changed. Pleaseeeee talk to mum about him" Rumi pleaded.

I hit my head.

"he..... I do not know what to say" Khadeeja sat expressionless.

"No way,he's marrying you. You don't know how disgusting it is to have a man who has no deen in him" I hastily spoke.

"please" Rumi pleaded again.

Mum came in and the silence fell again.

We sat and mum talked while we ate the ice-cream she bought.

Raidah got some extra attention as mum spoon-fed her.

I pouted. What a bomb Rumi!

"how is your mother-in-law Raidah?  She never speaks to me" Mum questioned.

"She's good,alhamdullilah. She rarely talks to anyone" Raidah spoke enjoying the treat.

"you should take care of yourself"  mum reminded her.

"Ameera is getting married,I hope you girls would come for a stay" Mum stated smiling.

"I'm definitely coming" I declared.

When mum left.

Khadeeja fell on the couch " I can't believe this Rumi!"

"you should meet him. You will probably understand then" she answered.

I shook my head.

Khadeeja nor Raidah or myself took any permission for a stay but none of our husbands called or texted to enquire for us. Weird. I fought with ibrahim but what about them?