Ibrahim's Pov

I sneek with soft steps inside the house.  I looked around and Jaan wasn't anywhere. Relief.

I checked my phone for the time 2:45am.

Darn it!

I hope she's asleep.

I opened the door not letting any sound of even the nano decibels escape but there you have it,she's awake!

But she's dizzy as she hums something and then drips again.

I'm lucky for today.

I changed into my nightwear. Ate chips,drank half cup of Pepsi.
Scrolled along my instagram.. Ooh Qahtan... I clicked on his profile, a single photo of himself. I laughed so hard that Jana almost woke up.

I was alarmed but things got dizzy soon.

I laughed again at the photograph.

I thought I should've searched Baraaq but he's too poor for instagram. I mean what exactly would he show off. Ooooh so instagram's for show off. I never thought of that before,the meaning of instagram?!  Soon somebody would write a book on it.

Why does Jaan wants me to be like them?

Even if they would've been the last people to idolise, I'd rather have set myself on fire.

Jaana lacks taste at times. It's because of her stupid sisters.

Pious blah blah.

I love my Jaan but her sisters feed her head with all this dumb nonsense.

She is so innocent,so pure.  I love that she is pious,I love it but I cannot put myself on her marks.

It is my longest relationship, I've never been with one woman for such a long time. I did this with my own will. I settled on my own terms,I am not backing out from my words. If I committed with her,I'll be hers.

I knew this was for life,I do not want to second guess my Jaan but I miss my bachelor days. I miss that attention I got by woman,it's not like it has declined though I cannot enjoy it.

What does Jaan wants?  Jaan wants me to be like these cranky old men like Qahtan who are absolutely boring.

But why Jaan, isn't Ibrahim so much better?

Jana is stupid,her little cute head irritates me at times.
I want her to enjoy life with me but her almost ridiculous demands; i wouldn't go out without my hijab,I won't go out after 10, I wouldn't meet with your male friends. 

Jaan you're not Khadeeja or Raidah,you're Jana,you're Jaana and that is exactly why I married you because you're better in every single thing than them. She shouldn't be like them.

They're old,very rough. And I married Jana because Jaana isn't like them,she's much more beautiful and smarter.
My Jaan is the best.

I look at her dig in the covers searching for me. I held her close.
We are fighting a lot these days. I do not want to fight because that would just make me like my parents,  I do not want to be like them. I shake my head dropping in the sleep.

She wants a kid,we are kids. Why doesn't she understand this lavish house,these maids,this lifestyle, it comes with guidelines. 
The rules are if you wanna stay and live young,then don't age. Aging comes with kids attach in their umbilical cord,something after or before cannot be detached.

I run my fingers in her hair. She compares our life with her sisters. Are they happier?  Well they might be but nobody love like I do. Whatever I do I do with my will and whatever I commit to,I commit with passion. Once my passion wraps someone I would never let go. No matter what problems,we are going to fight em' together like a team,our A Team.

Khadeeja Pov

I wrapped the lunch and set the timer on the microwave and left the kitchen for my room.

"what's in It?" Shaheer asked as placed his lunchbox beside.

"lasagna"  I said.

"I don't like lasagne" he grunted.

Then why don't you get married,I thought.

I took the lunchbox. Reopened it and took out the food. I sighed.

What now?

"are you packing me something?"  he asked almost rudely.

"I don't know"  I said to the air.

He stumped out. I sat in the floor.
How I imagined my married and how is it?
Everybody is dissappointed, nobody likes me. Love? I don't know. I don't feel good enough for him. We don't talk anymore. I hate this.

"Can't even dry clothes in a line" Aunt complained sharply from the balcony.
Immediately I had myself rearrange them.

"Your mother should've taught these things when you were lying around in her house for all these years" she said. It is something she says to me almost often these days,so much that I've lost the effect of these words on me.

I do not talk to them as well.  I only answer what I'm asked.

"Khadeeja can you change your clothes?" Samara asked me when I had just entered in my room.

"why?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes. Something About these gestures hurt me.

"because my friends are coming over"she said and opened my wardrobe.

"But what's wrong.."  I swallowed my words inside and chanted Sabr.

She took out a green dress,I haven't worn it for once yet. Qahtan bought it for me months back. I didn't not have any opportunity to slip it on,also it does not have sleeves.

"It is new one" I said.

"so?" she crossed her face.

"it does not have sleeves" I brought to her attention.

"Brother bought this months back,why can't you attach some sleeves to it. For god sake Khadeeja what do you do all afternoon!" she raised her voice.

My heart sank.

"you know how to sew,right? Then what is the matter. Attach the sleeves and get going. Besides,this is the only sober dress you have. Rest of the garbage that you bought with yourself doesn't suite you at all" she hissed.

When? And I wonder this all day,when? When did I let myself fall so low. My esteem so low. My worth so low down in the ground that a girl so young talks to me in such a tone and I cannot retaliate.

I did sew that sleeves in the dress throughout crying.

I wore it. I hated it.

I looked in the mirror, there is nothing more so worthless than I am. A carcass with no pride.

In the evening,
I noticed mum seemed to carefree to expect guests while Samara seemed to anxious. She was cleaning the living room over and over. Usually she tells mum when she has friends over but today,it looked different.

Within a hour there weren't her friends but some people over.

I greeted them. They sat with mum. I didn't recognise them,nor could mum.

Mum asked me to leave and arrange snacks.
I wondered where Samara was,she came out dressed more prettier than usual. I could notice the hint of blush on her cheeks and my eyes widened.

She stood outside the kitchen peeking. Mum came to her and asked "oh Good Lord you're dressed! They're here to see you"

"Oh Khadeeja asked me to dress-up"  she lied to her face.

"good" mum nodded at me.

They were nice. They adored Samara,I felt happy for her. They left before dinner.

"Mum who were they?" I asked.

"I know them" Mum replied and left the room.

My smile dissappeared.

Samara too left. I arranged the dinner.
That night Qahtan came late into the room. Comfort has left us. I looked at him. Talk to him Khadeeja.  But we don't talk anymore.  I greeted him. He did not smile.

Are we so lost?

"some people were here to see Samara. They've asked for her hand in marriage to their Son"  I informed him.

"Mum informed me about it,I've given my answer. I do not like them"
He said sternly.

"oh,they seemed nice"I spoke softly.

"Don't you understand! I said no!" He said with his anger flaring on me.

My heart raced. "I did not bring them home Qahtan" I said with water filled in my eyes and my mind screaming with all this injustice tangling my soul.

"but you sent Samara to dress up and show up to them. You did not tell Mum they were visiting, did you not think for once to deliberate with mum about these strangers!"  he came to me,his voice hitting higher.

"I did not know they were coming!"  I said with the same pace of voice.

"Exactly so,that is why you're so dressed up" he spoke pushing his hair behind.

"why don't you ask your sister about this?" I said piercing my eyes at him.

He slightly shook his head but when it hit his head he came more fiercely than ever "What the hell do you mean Khadeeja!?"

"the exact hell she is making my life!"I screamed

It happened too fast. I could not control my words. Now I didn't care what he thought. He seemed too in vile anger to be trusted. He could not trust me but he blames me for something I haven't done without even thinking. 

"God forbid if this is a lie Khadeeja,I hope you know what you're talking about"he spat as he left.

Tears ran freely. I threw the scarf from my head on the floor.  Love? Love is crap! I hate him!

I heard the soft commotion turn into a wild fight!

I ran out.

"For Allah's sake brother! She just wants to tear us apart!" Samara screeched pointing at me

"did I not tell you that whilst Dad is away you will not do anything to harm the honor of the family!" Qahtan angrily stated.

"But I did not do anything!"  she cried.

"then who sent them here!" Qahtan questioned.

"I did not!" samara persistence silenced him.

Mum cried. The fight had blown the silence off.

"I trust my daughter, Qahtan" she said to him.

"what's wrong?" Shaheer asked as he entered in the scenario.

Mum explained him the event but before she could complete it,he said " I sent them home! But I told them to visit next week after I had talked with Brother. Wallah I did not know brother did not like them! "

I stepped back.

The hollowing voices of stripping shame covered me.

"did you listen? Did you listen!?" Samara roared at me.

"I bought this girl thinking that my own sister's daughter would live us as our own but she is a jealous witch!"
Mum murmured.

"I do not understand why does she want me to be insulted!"  Samara was walking towards me in anger when Qahtan held her hand.

" Samara....Samara... I am sorry" he said.

My heart broke into a million pieces.

"But this girl-" mum couldn't finish. Qahtan sat beside her. 

"mum I'm sorry. I apologize.  I apologize on behalf of her. Please don't.  I'm sorry" he pleaded.

I have never seen Qahtan so vulnerable and ashamed.

I ran inside my room. What have I done! What have I done!!