Jana's PoV

"Ibrahim would you drop me at mum's on your way to work?"
I asked as I sprayed the setting spray over my face to keep my makeup in place.

"Mum's? Why do you always have to visit there so often?"
He twitched.

He hates me visiting my family because he doesn't understand why I do it. According to his lifestyle and his relations between his family, there's no way he could ever get it anyways.

"Khadeeja and especially Raidah is coming over,it's been months since I've seen them"
I answered.

He just nodded and took my hand and rushed me to the car.
I kept looking from him to the window not knowing what I really wanted to do,or think.

By lunchtime me and Rumi talked about life,celebs and clothes. I was anxiously waiting for khads and Raidah...

Soon Khadeeja entered and we all ran for a close hug.

"Ah! So nice to see you!!"
I exclaimed.

"You live so nearby to visit after months "
Rumi sighed sadly.

This what I could never understand,Khadeeja herself would be retaining herself over being the perfect daughter in law. What else can be detaining her from seeing mum on a weekly basis?

"I just don't get much time"
Khadeeja sighed.

"You don't have enough Time for mum?"
I stated looking away.

She didn't answer.

For an hour we were engrossed talking about Khadeeja's love life and all her funny incidents and accidents of the kitchen life and also complaining of how late Raidah is. Khadeeja seems happy! I'm happy for her.

Raidah came in by 4,which was extremely disappointing but she is here finally!
She sat and ate and I love when she talks and smiles because I remember Rumi telling me that Raidah's actions after her marriage were worrying her,she looks fine now. After all it's been half a year!

Tahira and Safiya,our cousins also joined us later evening with our brothers,their wives and our little nieces including the new edition!

After dinner I texted Ibrahim my desire to stay home this night and spend it with my sisters to which after a little hesitancy he permitted.

We were overjoyed. Rumi looked the happiest. I could see Raidah running her hand on her head in pure bliss, I could take Rumi home If I  could.

"So is any of you expecting a good news?"
Asked my brother's wife.

I always almost hated her.
My face changed.

Everybody looked at Khadeeja.

"No...nothing such..."
She awkwardly replied.

I feel so offended,I don't know why?

Then they looked at Raidah and my heart raced.

"Baraaq says he would love to be a Dad.I don't know though,I mean I thought we could wait till things would be a little better in the house ...but...he says ... It's.... We are welcoming any blessing Allah bestows on us,InshaAllah"

I gulped as they looked at me.

"Yes after all having a kid is a blessing,in the greatest form! You should never shy away from it!"
My brother's wife stated.
I confirm on hating her.

But they still have their faces towards me expecting  something.

"We are waiting for Allah to bless us"
I lied.

We are not waiting, I am waiting.
Ibrahim says we are too young to have a kid,we're not! We're adults! Adults! Adults who are married!

I have tried talking to him but he insists that it rages him and I should not test his patience when he is adamant over his decision. So I listen. He in a way forces me to use contraceptives or he safeguards himself. He isn't looking forward for a family. He loves me dearly but he refuses to love the dream I have of seeing him as a father soon.
Ibrahim is cool and funny but he is also outrageous and stubborn. I haven't encountered his anger much but I've seen rage in his eyes,it's a scary feeling. I don't want to cross any line he has drawn but I want a child....and here,in this living room I'm not the only one who's craving motherhood.

Khadeeja's PoV

We want to be parents,I want to be a mother. Everybody wants to know if I'm expecting a child or not everywhere I go. I am old according to this society, old enough to have borne a child and Qahtan, he faces the same struggles everywhere. I feel bad for myself but worst for him. I feel like I am the impotent person,the guilt bearer of his life, he is though very comforting. But I can never be as patient as he is. I don't understand why do I have to wait, be tested over my Sabr to gain the things I want.

The whole evening like all those evenings went embarrassed.

"It's only have been six months khads,please tell me it is something very ridiculous that is worrying you and not the pregnant thingy!"
Raidah said rolling her eyes once we had some privacy.

"But shouldn't I be a mother yet?"
I asked confused.

"THERE'S PLENTY TIME!"
yelled Jana.

Are they comforting me or it is indeed a truth.
A release the crease on my forehead.

"How's ibraheeem jaaan?"
I teased Jana.

"Fabulous, how's brother Qahtan?"

"Not any less"
I replied.

"But I wish I had few more people to talk about than him"
Jana confessed.

"Trust me sweetie you have the best of life here"
Raidah interjected in between.

"Alhumdullilah"
She replied with dissatisfaction on her face.

"What is it Jana?"
I inquired.

"I'm JUST BORED!!"
she screeched.

We all laughed at her poor state.

I know Raidah has a lot to say that she chooses not to speak about and instead she talks about random other things. Half a year as it is,Raidah has the same Abaya,the same clothes and the same smile on her face. This puts me in doubt's of her happiness. Is she happy? Or she just a good actor?

When asked,she always has the same content 'Alhumdullilah' but like my stories,hers too sound a bit fake.

I texted Qahtan a good night.

"So is everything like everything it was six months back?"
Rumi is ever curious about the 'married life'.

"It's even better"
I smiled.

"Really?"
Jana questioned.

"Yes....yours?"
I asked.

"It's lovely,I'm happy to be his but I feel like love had some changes"
Jana spoke to the air.

Raidah lightly shook her head to jana to discontinue her talk because it was saddening our little baby sugar.

Quickly we had the ice cream talk turn the tables and we started discussing of how pathetic was Anya's dress on her reception.

Tahira , Aaliyah and Safiya  joined again. They are staying with us too. A slumber party more like come let us gossip.
I honestly wanted them to leave, it's seldom we have all of us together. And they speak tauntingly.

Soon as expected the gossip session took a road.

And then I didn't even remember how one over the other things piled up.

"You still live in that dirt house Raidah?"
Aaliyah enquired.

"Dirt house? It's not that bad alright..."
Raidah answered with her face in crease.

"You still live in the same room? Wasn't it tiny...?"
Aaliyah continued,we all felt uncomfortable.

"Yes...but it's really cozy so I don't really mind..."
Raidah answered yet again but now with a smile.

"You shouldn't have a child soon,you don't have any space to keep him"
She kept bashing.

But before any of us could react Tahira stated "oh you can give the baby to Jana,she has plenty of space in her house!"

She is....Rude!

"If I would keep my child in a space as small as my womb, I'm sure when he comes out he would find that little even space of my tiny room very comforting"
Raidah calmly replied.

SUCH A STATEMENT.

I'm proud of her. All our face how turned into a little evil smile of victory.

But then again the drama started tahira felt offended of her reply and she had a face till she left the next day.

"She is such a bitter lady!"
Screamed Jana shutting the door when she left.

"You tackled her well Raidah!"
Rumi patted her shoulder.

"I don't understand why my big house and my husband has to be in everybody's mouth. I feel offended to be a subject of such talks"
Jana complained.

"Relax,she's bitter"
Rumi reminded.

We hugged each other and I left after noon.

Raidah was staying till dinner but I had plans to leave early.

"Keep visiting mum Khads, after all you're the one who's close by"
Raidah whispered.

Mum hugged me. I know how many times Aunt rejects her the permit to send me home. We both know. We keep silent over the subject and I left asking her not to call Aunt over and over to which I could see Jana and Rumi,both their faces fall and an angst which I could understand was a misunderstanding that it was Me who didn't wanted to be home often.

My brother drove me home,
I arrived a little earlier  than I was expected.

Mum was in the bathroom. Qahtan was in her room, No one else could be seen, he didn't see me coming.I'll surprise him. I freshened up and smiled. Should I wear something a little better for tonight. I feel funny how a night apart makes a difference, I feel relaxed and fresh.

I walked into the kitchen and a mess of dirty dishes have piled up. Oh no.
Admist those crackling noises of the wrappers on the floor I over heard my name.

"Oh Qahtan you don't know her or maybe we can't understand but she's so drifted apart from us."

"But khadeeja..."

"I don't know son,doesn't she tell you anything? She doesn't talk to Samara or me. She doesn't even attend the guests. It worries me a lot. She just keeps nagging to her mother on phone to call her home. Is it household work? I have told her to only work how much ever she pleases ... Doesn't she tell you anything?"

"No....no..."

"Then maybe we are the one's.... Maybe she...am I bad mother in law? I feel like I'm the one who is complaining to you All the time and she has no problems whatsoever....so what do I do...?"

"Mum, I don't know....I mean..."

My heart broke into a million pieces. This is what I've received of my day in and day out here. I understand everything now! I understand why Qahtan keeps acting strange at times and asks if I have any problem here! Because he wants to know why am I being problem to his family if I don't have any problem myself! But I do have issues! I do!

I cried my heart out in the kitchen.

When later mum came in,she was surprised to see me.

"When did you Return?"
She asked rudely.

"A little earlier than 1"

I answered.

I sat in my room and I can see the look on Qahtan's face he has those times and today too,he asked "so everything is well? The work isn't much?"

Should I tell him? I am exhausted, I hate being so unfit for you! I hate being myself, I hate how your mother makes me feel,she is far worse than a stranger to me at times when she laughs at my inadequacy of never being able to be dressed and putting a feast on time,for both I can't do it! I am tired. I hate being her subject of talks when the guests  are here. When I sit and talk to them I'm asked to leave and cook when I'm cooking I'm not mixing! I don't understand what she wants!

"Everything is fine Qahtan,why do you ask?"
I replied rubbing my eyes behind the cover of the cupboard hiding. 

"Nothing,I was just worried about you"

You never Were Qahtan,I have mistaken you. You're never worried about me.