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Ashwatthama strolled through the forest, his bare feet hitting the mud with each heavy step, feeling the sting of sharp rocks and twigs underfoot. But he didn't care—no, he couldn't care. His mind was far too consumed by the confusing storm of thoughts swirling inside him. It was all a blur, his senses focused solely on the battle inside his chest.

"Maybe I should tell him..." he muttered under his breath, the words barely escaping his lips. His grip on his bow tightened as his fingers grew cold, the weight of the weapon suddenly becoming unbearable. His fingers ran along the bowstring, feeling its tautness, and he couldn't help but feel that same tension echoing in his heart.

"He deserves to know," he whispered again, the words laced with a deep sorrow, his voice carrying the heaviness of a secret that had been buried for far too long.

Then he paused, his steps flattering as he looked at the vast sky above. His eyes searched for something, maybe a miracle or maybe the familiar arrow that belonged to the boy who was tearing him.

Shaking his head to clear the thoughts, he started to walk once again. "No, he will think I am crazy. Or maybe I am." He sighed again, running his free hand through his silky hair. "That dream...no nightmare...was the crazy one."

"Why me?" He whined, reaching the training spot to see Radheya already practicing. He stopped, his eyes taking in the sight of his friend. The other's gaze was sharp like his arrows, the subtle muscles in his arm highlighted as he drew back the thin string.

He tore his gaze away from the boy and rolled his eyes. 'Come on, Ashwatthama. You got to practice. To beat Arjuna, to prove yourself to your father and to show Radheya that you are also capable of becoming one of the greatest archers.'

With the thoughts replaying in his mind like a broken radio loop, he took his own stance. He started to practice too, far from Radheya who didn't even bat an eye. Silence filled the air around them, pierced only by the arrow hitting the tree and the whispers of leaves above.

Hours passed, the sun touched the water of the Ganga river in the distance. The sunrays turned warmer, making Radheya's kundals shine for a brief moment. The smell of fresh flowers filled the nose of the son of Drona and he shot the last arrow. It was time to go home.

Just as Ashwatthama turned, his eyes met the amber ones that seemed to hold a depth of accusation and confusion. No. No. He wasn't ready. He needed to get away. But it was too late.

"Ashwatthama," Radheya's voice broke through the tension, like a flow of water traveling through narrow cracks, and Ashwatthama's breath hitched. It was softer than he expected, gentler than he imagined, but it held an edge—an edge that cut through his defenses.

The silence between them stretched, heavy like a suffocating fog. Ashwatthama's mind raced. He hadn't been prepared for this moment, not when the world around him felt so out of his control. His pulse quickened, and he could feel his heart thudding louder than ever. Radheya hadn't talked to him, or maybe it was Ashwatthama who avoided him. But why now?

"Tell me please," The son of Radha continued, taking a step forward as Ashwatthama stepped back in reflex, "What are you hiding?"

Kripanandhan's eyes widened as his gaze flitted to the ground, then to the distant trees, his mind scrambling for an escape, a way to retreat from this suffocating moment. But in the end, his chocolate eyes met Radheya's, the amber eyes that usually held understanding, playfulness and warmth were now filled with accusation, confusion and a hint of anger.

He hadn't prepared for this, he hadn't even dreamt of it. His friend's eyes were like a thousand arrows piercing through him in a way that made him quiet and hurt. He didn't want this but he was the reason. Stupid.

"Ashwatthama," Adhirathnandhan called out again, taking another step closer for Ashwatthama to step back. It was as if the physical distance was to show how distant they had become. "Tell me," He repeated, his voice softer, a plea for understanding.

The younger boy's breath caught in his throat, his fingers twitching as he saw the softness in Radheya's gaze. It was normal in their friendship but from the past week, he had seen this softness only when Radheya was with Vrushali.

He took another step back, his back hitting the bark of a rough tree. He could smell the wet mood, feel the stickiness on the tree and the undeniable cracks in it that seemed to be a mirror of his heart.

Radheya's hands clenched into fists as he saw his usually determined and sometimes overconfident friend, retreating like this. What was even going on? What could be the reason that made the other react in such a severe way?

He didn't say a word, trying to find another way out of this situation. It was the first time he had left so suffocated in the open, like someone was grabbing his throat tightly. He opened his mouth, his lips parting like he wanted to say something but he just snapped them shut again. He can't.

The silence was thicker than ever, like a heavy cloud falling over them, surrounding them in a dense fog that made you feel like you had no way out. Then, as if on cue, the sound of anklet bells came from a distance. Vrushali. Radheya sighed, his gaze still on the other as he spoke, "If this is your decision, then I will go. To someone who actually appreciates me and doesn't ignore me. Someone who can share even a piece of what is causing the rift. Someone who doesn't treat my trust and friendship as a toy to toss around when bored."

That was it. Those were the words he needed, his heart needed to finally let a crack part through his wall. "Radheya, stop." He said, rooted in his spot as he watched the older boy's steps flattering before he turned to face him.

Taking a deep breath, he started, "Don't leave...I didn't mean to hurt you or push you away. I am just so confused, it is all a tangled mess." His voice cracked and his shoulder tensed up but he pushed the words out, "I just don't understand and if I don't, how can I explain it to you?" The words were there, but his throat felt tight, as though the very air was a reminder of the silent chaos inside him. He wasn't sure if it was fear of rejection, or guilt for holding back... maybe it was all of it at once. He had no answers, just an overwhelming need to make this right.

Radheya's face finally broke out into a small smile, his eyes filling with the warmth that seemed to be a part of his very being. He took in the other's shaken body, the words making his own heart twist. "Confused? Ashwatthama, just tell me. I don't care about understanding, I just need to know. Please, don't push me away again."

The air between them felt thick, charged with the words unsaid. The wind had died down, leaving only the soft rustling of leaves and the distant sound of anklet bells. Ashwatthama couldn't escape the weight of Radheya's eyes on him, nor the soft warmth of his voice that pulled him in like a lifeline. He kept quiet, ready to speak but his doubts were like a parasite, refusing to let go.

"Please, Ashwatthama. Don't break our friendship just because of some dream." He took a step closer, his hand reaching out to grab the younger's arm as he tilted his head slightly, "Just speak. I will try to keep up."

Ashwatthama swallowed hard, his breath shaky. His fingers curled around the tree bark as if he could find some strength there. But when he spoke, his voice barely broke through the silence. "There was a sage... an old one, wearing white clothes," he whispered, his eyes unfocused, staring at the ground. It felt almost as if the memory was something he could never fully grasp—too foreign, too overwhelming.

"He was sleeping with his head on a boy's lap who was fanning him with a cloth." He paused this time, looking at Radheya's reaction. He probably thought that he was out of his mind or something. But the thing he saw made his heart flutter in a way that seemed too dangerous, terrifying.

He saw a nod of understanding, eyes that held a warmth and a promise to listen to his lunatic words. The grip on his arm had loosened but he could still feel the same grounding comfort. "Who was the boy?" Radheya's question echoed in his mind, louder than the thoughts. This was the point. The one that could either provide him with a smile or anger.

"It was you," The words left his mouth before he could rethink or take it in a slower way. His lips trembled as he ignored the flicker of anger in Vasusen's eyes, "Y..You were cursed by the sage. I don't remember what it was but the...the sage said that you were a Ksh...Kshatriya!" He hated the way the words mixed with each other and how it came out like a weak stutter. Disappointing.

Yet the thing that shook Ashwatthama was the blaze of anger in the older boy's eyes. Oh god, he did it. He broke their friendship! He should have just kept quiet. No, he shouldn't have come here in the first place. Idiot, can't even do one thing right. His nails dug into his palms, leaving white crescent moons. Despite all this, he kept a stoic expression, his gaze fixed on Radheya.

"Ashwatthama, you are saying it again! I am not a kshatriya." His words were hiding his own vulnerability as he glared at the boy who was quick to respond, "I know, Radheya. But that's what the sage said. I apologize but I am just telling you what I saw."

The son of Adhirath took a sharp exhale, inhaling slowly before straightening up. His mother's advice echoed in his head and he knew that if he wanted to save this friendship, he would have to tread slowly. "Okay, I understand. I am sorry for my outburst but..." He paused, leaving the words unspoken, "I will meet you tomorrow. The sun has set and stars have come. I should go back or Ma won't spare me."

Ashwatthama nodded stiffly, not trusting his voice or his words to save him from this claustrophobic situation. A sigh of relief escaped his trembling lips as Radheya finally stepped back, the hand on his arm leaving a trail of coldness that matched the one in his bones. "Tomorrow then."

Radha's son took another step back, his expression unreadable. The words were so quiet, barely recognizable from his friend who had always been the loud one out of them. He didn't want to argue more so he just turned around, preparing to leave.

The younger's heart felt heavy as if it was being crushed under the weight of the whole universe. His hand left the tree and he stepped away from it, taking a deep shaky breath. The smell of leaves and fruits did little to ease his nerves.

His gaze followed the other boy who had walked quite some distance now. The the sound of anklets bells and a nectar like laughter filled his ears. Vrushali. He didn't even need to look, he could feel Radheya's bright smile and her soft one. What was this weird feeling in his stomach? Like a snake was clenching his insides so hard, so painfully. 

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· • —– ٠Words - 1980٠ —– • ·

Namaste (Hello) readers! Hoping you all are well and still invested in this story. But before we get into the discussion, I have a few questions!

1. How is the new title and cover? (Cover credits to )

2. How is the blurb? I have spent a while fixing, rewriting and editing. This is probably the first time I added dialogues. And the last words are the tagline on the cover (sadly not visible).

3. Most importantly, how was the chapter and the angst?! This is my first time writing it so yeah, bear with me.

That out of the way, I would like to give two shout-outs!~ First, , thank you for the wonderful comments and the shared passion for BL. Second, , I really loved your comments and the discussions!