Reviewer: TheBookishNerd_

Author: craftychicken

Book name:- The devil that lies amongst us

Title and Cover:

I found the title is too lengthy. May be you can omit "that lies". I also didn't find the cover attractive . There are no elements that attract the readers to the book at first glance.

Blurb:

Let me be straightforward. The blurb is bland. There is nothing that compels me to hit the read button. I will suggest you to put a bit of scene where you can describe the death of lord and then a bit of scene from the intense interogation.

Storyline:

The book genre is mysterious. But in prologue itself it seems Kylie's sister is mentioned as murderer and the person mentioned is kaytelein (her twin) If this not the case then its okay! But if it's the case then I guess you need to change it the prologue I mean.

Flow:

You mentioned the date and time. But when you mentioned 8 September and then 7 September, it's confusing. Moreover, you go with present tense. It affects the reading.

Characterisation:

You need a strong characterisation. It's getting confusing who is who.

Diologues/Expression:

Moreover I suggest not to switch much between POV. I suggest to write in third person instead if you are confused to use whose POV you should write.

Reviewer opinion:

There are somethings you need to clear like:-

Why Lord chose Tiffany?

What's exactly the manor about?

Who excatly is Lord and what does he rule?

It seems only females are present in the story?

If there are other servants then why only Tiffany is the owner and the ruler?

I hope all these will be cleared in the upcoming chapters.

Please remember the review is short and I didn't cover all criteria nor I marked them because the number of chapters are very less. The review is only based on the first three chapters.

When you complete the novel or have enough chapters you may apply again for reviewing.

Best of luck for your future endeavour.

Please complete the reviewer's payment if it is not done yet. Ignore the request if it is already done.

Thank you
TheBooktrovert