A small gray tom stalks onto the stage in total silence. He glares at the crowd and with a ungrateful hiss, lashes his tail towards the screen. Brick hurries on after him, bleeding from on ear and with a nervous look on his face.

"So," Brick began nervously, "Jayfeather...is..here..to..present..." His voice trailed off as the blind tom fixed him with an angry stare.

"Yes," the medicine cat spat. "I was forced into doing this. In no part did I want to do this. But whatever, I suppose I'll have to do it." He glared once more at the audience and clicked a button on his black thingy and a slide appeared on the projector.

The audience laughs, with many 'awwwwwwws' and 'omsc how kyute' echoing through the room. Jayfeather's fur stands on end and he groans.

"Brick, what did you do to my slideshow?" he snapped. He scrolls quickly through the rest of the slideshow, with only these photos making it up.

The audience roars with laughter, and Brick, who had left the stage briefly to get coffee and a Band-Aid, runs back on with an embarrassed expression plastered on his face and snatches away the black thingy from Jayfeather.

"That--that's not mine!" he stammered. "It's Jayfeather's!"

"Sure," the angsty gray tom replied. "I'll believe that when pigs fly."

Brick ran back out and Jayfeather turned to the crowd, ready to present without pictures.

"So literally all this constellation is is a really crappy copy of the Hydra. It's shaped like a triangle and is not associated with any myths, unlike Hydra. It is one of the constellations introduced by Petrus Plancius in the late 16th century. It represents the sea snakes that Dutch explorers would have seen on their journeys to the East Indies. Yeah, that's it, bye."

He stalked off the stage to a round of applause actually pretty good for such a TERRIBLE presentation, and went on to murder many people and live a good long life.

the end

written by leopard w.w