Brick waves his microphone as the crowd roars once more.

"Welcome to the next presentation of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars'! Please join me in welcoming the next presenter, Greystripe!"

The cats gathered below erupts in jubilant cheers that shake the hall. The prolonged hurrah turns into an involuntary, collective gasp as the crowd stares at the giant hairball that had lumbered onto stage.

"Yeah, yeah, I get those looks all the time," Greystripe grumbled, struggling to shake out his fur in a feeble attempt to look posh despite his size. "The Clubhouse tuna burger in StarClan is so addictive! YOU CAN'T BLAME ME! YOU SIMPLETONS WOULD LOOK THRICE AS FAT IF YOU WENT TO THE MCATONALD'S THERE HOURLY."

The crowd are physically unable to talk, still stupefied by the monster StarClan sent forth.

"So, uh, my constellation is Canis Major, the fatter version of Canis Minor. Whot, you mouse-brains don't know what Canis Minor is?" Greystripe seemed a little muddled about the whole concept of learning. He pressed a button on the remote.

"Well, that's what it looks like. It doesn't look like a dog at all, right? That's because you're meant to look at it this way."

"There. And did you know that it's meant to represent a bigger dog following the hunter Orion—who is also a constellation—in pursuit of a hare? Another smaller dog also is depicted in the sky as chasing the hare, but that's another constellation I'm sure you'll get to know about later."

The crowd is beginning to adjust to the sight of the morbidly obese cat onstage. Some are calling out words of encouragement.

"Some quick facts:

- The Canis Major is the 43rd biggest constellation in the sky.

- Its neighbouring constellations are Lepus, Columba, Monoceros and Puppis, not in any particular order.

- It belongs to the Orion family of constellations.

- It was first catalogued by Ptolemy in the 2nd century.

- It is simply fantabulous."

Greystripe brings out a Harry Potter box set from nowhere and waves it around, suddenly looking depressed.

"I can't read this because all the flab on my face is covering my eyes, but Firestar spoiled the whole story for me anyway, which is why I'm going to cry when I get to the next part shortly. Despite the fact that cats don't cry and you'll never get to see the tears anyway as they'll get lose among the folds of fur and get absorbed quickly, that is."

His tone transformed from lackadaisical to dejected. "This—sob—constellation—sob—is home to—sob—the brightest star in the sky we know of—SOB—Sirius.

"AWIEUFBSDKJNVWLIAUBKJDVNASDLKFJIQLUWBEF NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SIRIUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...."

A few unnamed cats drag the wailing tom off the stage while Brick joins in on the crowd's bawling.

Written by Saph! 🍩✨ WHY DID YOU DIE SIRIUS ;-;

Edited by Saph! 🍩✨