"Woohoo!" The crowd cheers once more as a familiar ginger tom pads onto the stage, adjusting his sapphire top hat. A kittypet collar with sprinkles of different colour is pictured on it. A gift from Sprinkles, perhaps?

"Hello, everyone!" Brick mewed confidently as he bared a toothy grin. "This time we would like to welcome—" the host spun around and hissed to somecat backstage,"Who is it?"

'"Juniperfall!"' was the hushed reply.

The tom nods and turns to face the audience again, once more adjusting his top hat, which had kept slipping down. "I'd like to welcome Juniperfall onto the stage!!"

Nothing.

Brick's gaze swept across the crowd of cats, who were equally as anticipative.

"...And I'd like to welcome... Juniperfall!"

Still nothing. The spectators murmur uneasily. Finally a pale brown she-cat from the crowd mews soothingly, as if talking to another cat," Now, now, Juniperfall, that's you. Yes, it's your turn. Yes, you need to go onto the stage and present your constellation now. Yes, like that. No—you see that big strip of bark on the ground, where you dropped it just then? Well, that's your script, which you will need for your presentation."

After a couple more prompts and words of encouragement from kind-hearted audience members, a frail-looking tortoiseshell elder hobbles onto the stage, her glassy eyes darting from cat to cat. She dropped her script several times and had to stoop and pick it up. Brick pranced off the stage, but not before giving the remote to Juniperfall.

"G'day, y'all," the tortoiseshell elder mewed hoarsely. "I am here to tell y'all all about my story. So, when I was a kit, I longed to be a big, strong warrior and that was what my mother—"

Brick prances back onto the stage and gently begins to guide the confused elder, pointing slowly at the projector, then the remote, then at her script. Juniperfall makes an 'o' shape with her mouth and nods. The crowd waits patiently as Juniperfall begins to speak again.

"So, I guess I'm supposed to be presenting my constellation, which I understand is Aquila, the eagle.

"Now, most of ya won't be familiar with this particular animal. These are very dangerous animals, but the Tribe of Rushing Water still manages to kill them and use them for prey. However, there have been many cases where an eagle has swooped down and seized a cat. The cat will futilely struggle and his or her Clanmates will help, but once the eagle gets—"

Brick, who was standing off the side, tapped his claws loudly against the hollow stage. Juniperfall straightened slowly, nodding apologetically at the ginger host.

"Oh, sorry, I got off the track. So, as I was saying, er, Aquila is an eagle." Juniperfall pushed down a large button on the remote. A golden throne rose from the hole that had opened in the stage. Juniperfall didn't seem surprised as she padded over and sat on it. As she did so, a few of her bones clicked audibly. From there, she pushed the next button, seeming interested.

A wooden box rose out of a second hole that had opened on the surface of the stage. Perhaps the stage floor wasn't so hollow after all. The box was moving, and the crowd, plus Brick and Juniperfall, watched as the box let out an angry cry. "LET ME OUT, YOU UNEDUCATED NINCOMPOOPS."

Juniperfall calmly, using her superb-magical elder powers, cut open the box with her claw in a clean slice. Firestar clambered out of the box and stood in front of the crowd, which was bursting with questions.

"Why were you in there?"

"How long have you been in there?"

"May I have your autograph?"

"Can we not waste on you and get on with the presentation? It was getting interesting."

The StarClan resident ignored the last question and answered the first three. "I understand your needs to satisfy your curiosity. I was in there because... reasons. And, I was in there for only 2983538917025987 sunrises. And, sure! Whoever that was, meet me after this performance in the dressing room."

When asked to elaborate for the first one, he complied exasperatedly. "Sandstorm stuffed me in there."

"Why?" the whole crowd asked.

"Well... I sorta duct-taped her to her nest and when she got out she got kinda annoyed and—"

"Aren't you two mates? The FirexSand ship is one of the most popular couples!"

"We broke up two hundred moons ago. She dumped me because she realised how much of a Mary Sue I was in the books."

The crowd grieves for the Fourth Wall as Juniperfall suddenly attacks Firestar, claiming that she was a fan of Sandstorm and that he ought to stay in there until she lets him out.

"Let's get back on track, shall we?" Juniperfall suggested. She peered closely at the rows upon rows of buttons on the remote and finally chose the right one; a small black one (the same colour as the remote) right at the bottom left corner.

A picture of Aquila blazed across the screen:

"So, youngsters, the Aquila was associated with many things, the two most common being the eagle that held Zeus' thunderbolts. Now, Zeus was the son of Cronus, the supreme God and the god of the sky, meaning he controls the weather, so don't you foolish kittens go and say rude things to him; he'll make the weather gloomy and rainy for you for the rest of yer days. He sits in his throne at Olympus all day discussing 'godly' matters with his peers while watching over his naughty lil' daughter, Thalia Grace. At least, that's what they say in the books. And his brothers are Poseidon and Hades. Oh, and Poseidon is also the father of Percy—"

Brick tapped his claws against the not-so-hollow stage floor. Juniperfall seemed startled and regained her composure again, chuckling.

"Got off track again, heh? Well, do not fear, for I have been reminded now. I just really love Percy Jackson. So, er, where was I at... oh, right. The other thing the Aquila had been closely associated with was the eagle that kidnapped Ganymede and took him to Olympus. Ganymede was a reeaalll looker. So hawt that Zeus decided to make him his cup-bearer. Now, the cup is a—"

An obnoxiously loud timer goes off, signalling the end of the tortoiseshell's presentation. Brick escorts the elder (who was whining about not getting to finish her presentation) off the stage and gets ready for the next presentation.

This huge and mostly uneducational chapter was written by Saph 🍩✨, who can slay the Fourth Wall in almost every chapter she writes.