hi :3

"Ela, here," Dominic says, offering the joint up to smoke. Ela takes it gingerly, her hands coming from his bed to the paper, bringing it to her chapped lips. She takes a long, drawn-out drag and holds it for a moment before releasing it out the window. She ashes it into the tray beside her, then passes it on to Castle. She leans back in the bed, bouncing her leg.

"So after I get the money for a flight home, I'm gonna be cuddling up right next to my dogs for at least the new week," Castle continues, "I miss those little fuckers."

"I've always wanted a dog," Dominic replies, "But, we never had one growing up. It was just me and my brother. And the aquarium in our living room."

"You know what I've always wanted? That I never ever got?" Castle prompts.

"What?"

"A bird. Just a little guy to hold on my finger and kiss all over. I like how some of them sing, I wanna teach them how to sing Star Spangled Banner or something like that, you know? Something all patriotic. That would be the cutest little thing," Castle chuckles thinking about it.

"I've always wanted a cat." Ela butts in gently, "I've never had one before but there used to be a few that hung around the high school I went to for a couple of months. They were so sweet."

"Cats are alright," Castle says, "Not my thing, but I can see you liking cats."

Ela smiles as the blunt passes from Castle back to Dominic who takes a large puff and then passes it back to Ela, "Excuse me, Elżbieta, Miles."

He rises to his feet and heads to the bathroom, locking the door and turning on the fan as he always does. Castle pays it no mind as he watches Ela reach the roach.

"How are you doing, Ela? It's been a while." He takes the joint. "You heading back to GROM?"

"Fuck that," Ela says, "I'm planning on going into graphic design or something along those lines. The military just isn't an opportunity for me anymore."

Castle nods, "I get it, I get it. Why graphic design? For the art?"

"Yeah, I was in art school for a little while, figured that I could use something from it. I don't have any other skills besides military work and art so... it's something." Ela watches as the door to the bathroom opens, the toilet flushing again. Dominic with his wide pupils again. Castle doesn't notice.

"Alright, alright. Any clue where you're going to work?" Castle asks, leaning back against the desk.

Ela just shakes her head, lowering her eyes.

"You'll figure it out," Dominic cuts in, "Elżbieta, you've got lots of potential, I know someone's gotta be out there looking for someone just like you."

Ela smiles slightly, a wildfire warming her cheeks, blood gushing to the surface as she becomes flustered. She croaks out a soft but genuine, "Thank you."

Castle's eyes move to the clock on the wall, slightly awkwardly, before he says to them, "Listen, I'm heading out soon so I gotta start getting packed up, but I might swing by tomorrow if you're down. Gonna need something to help me out with my damn back."

"I've got you, Miles," Dominic nods, "Stay safe."

"'Course. You, too, Dom." He leaves through the door and finally, Dominic turns to Ela.

"Graphic design, huh?" He asks, "Where'd you decide that?"

Ela leans back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, "Had a nice talk with Ying this morning and she suggested it. She's going off on her own to see the world after she leaves SDU."

"Interesting choice, sounds fun," Dominic comments.

Ela nods, staring up at the ceiling as the room clouds in smoke and gin for the rest of the night.

Ela spends the next few days between Dominic's room and her own through a weed-filled daze, trying to numb any and all pain that seeps past the back of her mind. She hasn't had any run-ins with Echo but saw Dokkaebi once or twice while wandering the halls.

Despite how nice it's been to channel all of her feelings into drugs, she's been getting worried for her health as she wakes up at 3 am with coughing fits to the point that she struggles for breath. She can hardly run half the length she used to. It's just another thing added on top of the pile that's been bothering her, but through the daze, she's managed to pull together a few colleges for graphic design. On top of the college work she had for art, she's sure she'll be able to find a job.

She isn't sure where she'll be while she works on college, she can't stay in the housing facility as they were given a month maximum on their stay, but despite that, everything feels like maybe it'll start to get better. It's day seven at the housing facility the next time she sees Ying wandering the halls. It's seven in the morning, but Ela's not surprised. She knows Ying's a morning person and always has been, Ela's just an insomniac. They're opposites.

It starts with Ela leaving Dominic's room with her head spinning and her mouth parched dry, full of sand. Ying's coming down the hall as soon as the door shuts and their eyes meet over the dimmed yellows lights, flickering black every once in a while.

"Hey," Ela says, holding her head in one hand and waving to Ying with the other. Ying's eyebrows knot in concern as she replies with a soft, "Hi."

"Where are you coming from?" Ela asks, gazing down the hall, trying to figure out if she knows anyone who lives down there.

"Dokkaebi's but... we got in a fight." Ying admits, she seems tired, Ela feels her concern for the operator.

"You wanna talk about it?" Ela suggests, "I'm just going back to my room, I've got room. It's not a burden, I promise."

Ying takes a moment, seeming conflicted, "I don't want to be a burden-"

"You're not, I mean it. Let's go." Ela smiles gently, gesturing toward the elevators toward the end of the hall, "I think I have a coffee machine somewhere in there."

Ying chuckles for a couple of seconds before she finally caves, "Alright, but I'll only stay for an hour max."

"If that's what makes you happy," Ela replies, skepticism thick in her tone, "I don't have any plans today."

"Who does?" Replies Ying with a slight chuckle as they approach the elevators.

"So what's up?"

"With what?" Ying presses the button for the elevator and watches the doors close as they begin to ascend toward Ela's floor.

"With Dokkaebi, what happened? Why are you guys fighting? She seems nice enough."

"Oh," Ying looks away from Ela, "She won't stop hanging out with Echo even though he's a total jackass who has done some messed up stuff to me in the past. She knows he's like that and she still won't just leave him. I don't get it. We used to be really good friends but no matter what, she won't just realize how shit of a person he is."

Ela's eyebrows raise at the mention of Echo, she's been pushing him out of her mind since the day he came over. She's felt so shit about it that she just decided the best thing to do is just smoke it away. She knows damn well she isn't ready to talk about it yet, though. No matter if Ying's had it happen to her before.

"What did he do?" Ela asks, slightly anxious if it's too personal of a question. The face Ying makes at the floor is one of forceful confidentiality. She doesn't want to share, she doesn't want to spill her guts out. Ela isn't sure if it's because Ying's talking to her or if the time just isn't right, but either way, she replies.

"It... It's not too bad, just some old relationship stuff that we ran into problems with. He wronged me in a way that I don't feel like I can forgive him for and Dokkaebi thinks it's stupid that I don't want her to be friends with him because of it." Ying steps out of the elevator, Ela following soon after.

"I'm sorry about that, I feel like you're in the right. You don't hang out with people who have wronged your friends. You have to pick a side, there is no centrism when it comes to the shitty things people do." Ela licks her lips, wondering if this is good advice to be giving or if it's just her morals shining through her words. They reach her door and Ela immediately starts searching for her keycard.

"I appreciate that," Ying smiles slightly, but it fades when Ela's hands start retracing steps, "You lose your keycard?"

"I think I left it inside," Ela replies, "Inside my room..."

Ying's eyebrows raise, concern immediately taking over, "Can you get a new one?"

"I wish I knew." Ela sighs, trying to open the door but to no avail, "If you want to go back to your room you can, I'm sorry."

"I'll come with you," Ying replies with a shrug, "If you can't get a new one, I can offer up my bed until you need to leave."

"I would never be a burden for that long," Ela says as they return to the elevators and set the button for the first floor.

"You wouldn't be a burden. If I'm not a burden, then you aren't either." Ying smiles warmly, "Besides, it would be nice to not have to sleep alone every night, and it's right by your room so it would be hard to lose."

"Fair," Ela shrugs, "I'm sure they have a spare card, though, this has to happen all the time."

"I've almost left mine a few times, I'm sure they do." Ying reasons.

Ela nods as they leave the elevator and make their way down the hall to the receptionist's desk. Lion passes by them, eyes lowered and Castle is seen walking into his room on the walk. The moment Ela crosses through the doors, though, her heart drops and her eyes glaze over to Zofia standing by the desk talking with the receptionist.

Ying and Ela exchange a glance before Ying says to Ela, "Is she staying here, too?"

"No." Ela replies as her eyes meet Zofia's, "She's supposed to be home."

"Ela, Ying," Zofia nods in acknowledgment before her eyes move back to Ela, "We need to talk."

"No, we don't. I've made up my mind." Ela looks to the receptionist, trying her best to just ignore her sister, "Do you have copies of keys?"

The receptionist nods, "How many do you need?"

"Just one," Ela replies. She turns back to Zofia when the receptionist, Diane, leaves through the staff-only area.

"You need to come home, do you realize how hard you worked to get into GROM? You haven't even asked them for permission, you're going to end up going AWOL." Zofia tries.

"I'll send in my formal request later today, I was typing it up yesterday, I know what I'm doing, Zof." Ela says in a monotone voice, completely void of emotion, empathy, or sympathy, "And I'm not returning home. Especially not after what Mom said to me."

"What did she say?" Zofia asks, "I promise I'll talk to her."

"There is no more talking to her, especially not now. I don't want to repeat it, I don't want you to talk to her, I just. I don't want to get dragged back into this. I don't want to return home. I don't want to interact with you or Mom and I certainly don't want to be pulled back down into trying too hard for a man who didn't even give me a second thought." Ela states, retrieving the spare keycard from Diane. Ying looks incredibly uncomfortable with the exchange and is starting to back away.

"You know damn well Dad gave a shit about you. Don't play that card with me, Ela. He loved you, he cared for you, he gave you everything. You're lucky he didn't push you to the breaking point every single day. You're lucky he didn't break your fucking will." Zofia argues, starting to raise her tone of voice.

"Yes, he fucking did. You had it so great, Zofia. You did. He gave you everything. You just think you're so hurt because you thought it was bad. Imagine me, Zofia. Imagine me being the unfavorited, runt sister."

"You know you're not that," Zofia reasons.

"Oh, do I?" Ela cries out, "Do I now? Do I know that I'm not the unfavorited sister? Do I know that you didn't outdo me every single fucking time I tried to make something of myself!?"

"Miss, please calm down," The receptionist butts in, "Or I'll have to call in security."

Ela takes a deep breath, sighing before she turns away from Zofia and heading to the stairs. She is not going back to the elevator, she doesn't want to wait around for Zofia to just start shit up with her again.

Ying follows Ela closely, sheepish and quiet, unsure of what to do or if she should intervene at all. Ela's glad she at least hasn't left, she knows she needs to explain something and if Zofia shows up at her door, Ying can easily just send her away for her.

"Ela, come back!" Zofia barks down the hall, but Ela's opening the door for the stairs to quickly and jogging up the steps to avoid her. There's silence as she and Ying climb the stairs, just the tapping of their shoes on concrete up six flights of stairs and then the door opening at the top. Ela's stamina has vanished as she pants for breath at the top of the stairs, but tries to keep it quiet for self-respect.

"So..." Ying trails off awkwardly as they approach Ela's room. She seems uncomfortable and like she doesn't want to be around to see Ela's reaction, but Ela figures if she wants to leave, she can fucking leave.

As Ela enters her room and sets her keycard next to the original, she takes a few deep breaths and finally says to Ying after a long pause, "I'm sorry. She and Mom have been on my ass trying to get me to go back to GROM but I already told them, it's been too much for me. I work myself too hard because I just want to prove myself to my dad, but the thing is, he's dead. There isn't shit for me to do that will ever earn his love or make me the favorite sister or anything. I already fucked that up."

Ela avoids Ying's eyes as the door shuts with a click behind her. She takes a breath, her pupils scattering over the room to land on the window that she then opens, letting the cool Autumn air into her room.

"Why is she here? Now? Physically?" Ying asks.

"I don't know. Mom probably sent her to try to 'reconnect with her daughter.' She did it the last time I left them. She'll do it again. Over and over until she feels satisfied with the lesson I've learned that you don't leave the family. Even if said family screws you over." Ela sighs, sinking into the bed.

"I'm sorry things are like that," Ying says gently, taking a seat beside Ela, "I hope things get better for you, you don't deserve to be given that position in a family that says you can't leave."

Ela smiles slightly, her eyes shifting from the ceiling to Ying, "Thank you for that. Genuinely."

Ying nods, smiling warmly back, "Do you want to vent to me? Because my ears are always open."

"I'm... okay." Ela sighs, "Honestly if you want to go back to your place, I wouldn't blame you. I'm probably gonna take a nap or head back to Dominic's soon. I just... I hate dealing with this."

"Talk to me," Ying says gently, like a mother to a child. Ela hates it, she hates telling people her shit, she hates feeling like a burden like that. She hates that Ying's doing that to her and she knows it's a double standard, she let Dominic off with that shit the very first time they met. She hates that she knows it's wrong of her to be like that, but she just can't stand it now. She can't stand doing this to someone like Ying.

Ela's caught up in the overflowing emotions, pouring out of her heart and resonating through her body. She takes a solid minute to answer Ying's request, to even consider saying anything to her.

"It's okay. I'll be okay. Please leave." Ela turns over, avoiding Ying's eyes, unsure of what to say to her. She just wants to hear Dominic murmur "Elżbieta" in her ear again, looking for the sharp chill that always runs down her spine. She isn't sure what their relationship is, but she knows damn well it runs deeper than just "friends."

"Uh... okay." Ying says, a mix of confusion, concern, and maybe a slight bit of irritation in her voice. The door shuts no more than ten seconds later with a harsh click and Ela's left alone again with the voices in her head whispering that she deserves death over and over again. On repeat, until she drifts into sleep.