The idea of starting a family was always going to be daunting.

There was a lot to consider, and especially more so in yours and Jasper's situation.

It was obviously made more difficult by the fact that Jasper would have to turn you whenever you went into labour.

Jasper had agreed to start trying for a baby, after the conversation the both of you had had with Carlisle.

You knew that he was struggling with the idea of turning you because he didn't want you to have the life that he and his adoptive siblings had.

The rest of the family had also had a difficult time when Bella was pregnant and not all of them were too sure about going through all of it again if you were to get pregnant, but of course they were being supportive.

It hadn't been easy for you and Jasper, you'd been trying now for over six months and nothing had come of it.

The fact that you weren't yet pregnant was disheartening.

Jasper walked in on you sat on the bathroom floor, hugging your knees causing him to panic.

He sat down next to you immediately as he pulled you into his side.

"Darlin' what's wrong? Why are you in here like this?"

You burrowed further into his side but held out a pregnancy test to him.

"You took another one?"

He sighed as he looked at the result, realising that it was a negative result yet again.

He pressed a kiss to the side of your head before he moved you to sit in his lap.

You finally made eye contact with him and he wiped your tear stained cheeks. "Why hasn't it worked yet?"

His heart practically broke at the shattered tone of your voice. "I don't know Darlin'," he whispered against your hair. "And I'm so sorry about it."

You shook your head. "You don't need to apologise Jas."

He placed a hand on your cheek in the gentlest way possible. "I'm supposed to be able to give you a baby and I can't even do that."

"I just get so excited every single month because I think it's finally happened for us."

He nodded in acknowledgement of what you were saying, and you knew how much it was hurting him too.

It was a difficult thing to even explain to anyone because not everyone knew how it could feel.

"We'll be okay Darlin'," he tried to reassure you as he pressed another kiss to the top of your head. "It'll happen for us."

You sighed, trying to smile at him but ultimately failing. "It just hurts to see Bella and Edward with Renesmee, and she's so beautiful and I want that you know?"

The upset was evident on Jasper's face and it was taking just as much of an impact on him as it was on you.

"You never realise how much disappointment you can feel until it happens over and over again."

Jasper sighed, hugging you close to his chest. "We'll be okay Darlin'," he whispered against your hair. "We'll have our family."

~*~

Written by Hannah.

Tumblr Request.