(Hey guys, quick A/n; i really need ideas for imagines, i prefer doing them, comment below any suggestions you have)

'Come on, just a little deeper.' You whisper to yourself as you drag the small silver blade across your skin, watching as the soft pale skin parts slowly, small dots of blood slowly peeking through before growing and dripping down your wrist. 

The words those people said were burned in your brain, very bad look, ever mean comment on your pictures, they all resurfaced now, attacking you like soldiers in a war, breaking down your walls as the tears came harder and faster.

After every cut the blade in your hand seemed to get heavier as the weight of your actions finally sunk in.

It was times like this that you were thankful that Alice took frequent hunting trips, the smell of blood would have overwhelmed her and made this just so much harder on you; and heaven knows it was already unbearable.

A loud sob rang through the air as you held your hand under the faucet, small whimpers escaping your throat as the water washed the blood down the drain and cleaned your wounds, making the once angry, bloody mess seem clean, and neat.

This had been a habit for (y/n) for some time now, she was addicted to it. Addicted to the way the blade felt in her hands, the way her skin would part and the way her crimson blood would peak through. But most of all she was addicted to the way she would feel. She was addicted to that split second of peace that spread through her body before the pain set in. For some reason that feeling took everything else away; the words, the pain, the heaviness in her heart. It all floated away for that small moment, and that made everything okay and right with the world. 

This was something no one could understand, why she would mutilate herself for something that didn't last,something that was so small surely it couldn't make an impact on your feelings but it did! Every line, every cut made a small chunk of the pain she carried in her heart disappear. To them it wasn't enough, it wasn't worth the pain and the scars. 

What they didn't understand was how much it hurt, how much it hurt to be called ugly and fat and worthless. How that pain piles up and builds into something truly unbearable. How something so little can be all a person can bear. It's something no one can understand unless they experience it.

"(Y/n)? I'm back~ I missed you.~" Alice's angelic voice woke (y/n) out of her trance, her heart speeding from a normal steady beat to one that seemed like thunder in her ears as she began to panic. 

'No, she cant see this! No!'  (y/n) cried as she shoved everything from the counter into that cabinet under the sink you never look in except to store the extra toilet paper in. 

"Baby? you okay in there?" Alice chirped, her soprano voice floating into your ears, calming you if only for a second. Her question lingering in the air before her next words all but stopped your heart. "I smell blood, are you okay?!"  

You gasped, binding your arms tight to mask the smell "I-i'm okay, just o-on my period you know? it came early." you lied quickly, your shaking voice becoming steadier with every syllable as you lied. 

Alice nodded, Knowing you were off but not being able to pin point how exactly. And this is how it went, you cutting when she left and lying about it when she was there. 

Until you cut too deep and, your lies became known.

(A/N): Okay so, as you should know i have a history of depression and self harm and the last thing i want is for people to be triggered by this. I am here for each and every one of you and i love you all so much. If you EVER need to talk, even if just to vent message me, i might not message back right away but i will as soon as i can, and i promise to listen and help anyway i can.