AMADI

I started by first mending our friendship. The day I decided to be in attendance for his birthday is one step I am glad I took. At the end of the event, she gave me the permission to visit him subsequently. I can never forget how she said it.

"Amadi. You're permitted." She says.

"To?" I ask, while she just stood, body leaned on the wall with her arms folded over her chest. She watched me like a hawk watches its prey.

"To be part of his life." She says. Before I could say anything, she walked out.

That day, I did not want to create a scene in front of the kids. So when I was prepared to go back home, I told Kaima to wait for me before I went to Shalewa to properly thank her.

I would fight for custody and might win it, but what's the point? Besides, I hate court cases as they are mostly messy.

Not being able to physically see my child on the day he was born all through his one year birthday really had a toll on me. It was like she disappeared from anything connecting us on purpose. She even left the centre where I could run into her accidentally. It was like she blanked. Well, asides on social media.  She was very active there.

Which is why after that day she finally changed her mind, I started mending our friendship. It's what I'm still doing till now as it has just been two weeks since his birthday. I don't know what or how it happened but I'm grateful for her change of heart. I am glad I followed my guts to attend that birthday.

The first time I caught a glimpse of him was in that Molfix advert they both were on. I have had that ad stored on my phone ever since because it was the closest I got to seeing him. Honestly, I didn't even know he was the one until I saw the mother's face. How? Kaima pointed it out, because on what grounds would I normally watch a diaper ad? To say I was shocked would be an understatement. Even Emeka testified to the fact that the baby in the ad looks like me, further cementing my thoughts.

"Hi. May I come in?" I ask her. She's always with a straight face. I decided to do something different today.

"Yeah." She answers.

"Here. I got this for you." I present a flower to her. I have been hiding it at my back since I got here.

"A beautiful flower for a beautiful woman." Oops. I already let that slip. For the first time in the two weeks O have visited, I see her give a genuine smile.

"Thank you." Her smile is still unwavering as she ushers me into her house. Guess what I did. Well, it's simple. I got a bouquet of her favourite flower from her own flower shop. Even as she places it into a vase of water, she's still smiling.

"He's upstairs with Nadira." She points out.

"She still works with you after all these years?" I ask.

"Nahh. She doesn't. She's done with school and works now. She's currently on leave so she came to stay here for a while. She loves coming here at her free time."

"Ohh...Can I see him in his room?" It's the first time I'm asking this. He's normally brought downstairs to meet me.

"Alright." She says, leading the way to the room. It's well decorated in amazing designs and a mild blue color as the main theme.

"Dada!" He says, smiling. I am in shock.

"Oh, Jason. You couldn't even make your first word Mama? Come on!" Really? I guess it might be my lucky day, then. He chuckles and as if understanding what she said, utters another word.

"Mama!" This time, she squeals, playing with his cheeks.

"That's my baby!" She teases, leading to fits of chuckles erupting from Jason.

"Why didn't you bring Kaima? It's weekend." She asks me.

"Kaima is at my mom's."

"That sweet woman. How is she?" She asks, beaming.

"She's uhmm. She's fine." I scratch the back of my head. Mom is gradually warming up to me now.

"Alright. Please say hello to her for me. You can have your father-son moment. Nads and I will excuse you both." Father-son moment. I love the way that sounds. She walks out with Nadira in tow. I think that girl adores Shalewa so much. I guess that's the only explanation to why, even as she has a job, she still enjoys paying her a visit.

Now, onto Jason.

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SHALEWA

I don't know why I kept blabbing about why Nadira is here. Urghh! It must be the flowers making me all soft on him. I even allowed him into Jason's room!

Since we left the room, Nadira has been wearing a mischievous smile on her face. I need to find put why.

"Nads, this one that you have been smiling, how far." I ask her with raised brows when we step into the kitchen.

"Aunty, nothing o." She shakes her head, still smiling.

"This one is not nothing again. Talk joor." I roll my eyes at her, speaking fast.

"Aunty, please don't be offended but I think you still like him." Nadira has always been a shipper so I am not surprised to hear this from her.

"And why do you say so?" I ask her, chuckling.

"Aunty, you look radiant. You even applied extra caution to how you look today." She points out her assumptions. I clap my hands together in astonishment. Wonders shall never end.

"You are not serious o. So that one now means I like him. Gerrarahere, joor. What should we even cook?" I brush it off, changing the topic.

After cooking, I go upstairs to call Amadi but I am met with an almost teary view. Amadi sits on the floor, holding Jason's hand as both of them sleep in their respective positions.

I bring out my phone to get a picture of this. Dabbing the wetness beneath my eyes, I turn, smile back and head for my room. The moment my butt lands on the bed, my back follows. There and then, my thoughts dances through all the what ifs. All the possibilities of how our lives could have been. My left hand rests on my forehead as I stare at my white ceiling, as if hoping that the answers were inscribed there. I don't know when sleep consumes me for the next time I feel conscious is Nadira waking me up to ask if I am no longer eating.

"I am. How far Amadi?" I ask her.

"He and Jason are still sleeping." She answers.

"Okay, I'll join you soon. Just dish for me and you." I say to her. I grab my phone to unlock it and it's still on the picture of them. I quickly make it my lock screen saver and smile.

This picture just made me realize so many things. The first is the fact that my son needs his father in his life. Another fact is that Jason is already getting used to Amadi's presence. Thirdly, permitting him to come for visits signifies that it's going to be a continuous thing that I selfishly cannot break.

This also made me rethink my action. Did I make a mistake by depriving them of knowing each other prior to his birthday? In my defence, I was hurt. Terribly hurt. I wanted to get back at him. I wanted him to feel my pain.

I let out a breath, amidst my confused state. I stand up to pee before flushing the toilet, wash my hand then go back downstairs to eat.

•••••

"So, you allowed him around Jason?" Deji asks.

"Yes." I respond.

"Why?"

"Because he's his father." I answer simply.

"But wasn't he the father when you still kept him away for a year?" He asks. I shut my eyes and let out an internal frustrated sigh.

"I asked a question, Shalewa." Deji repeats. Thank God we are having a voice call and not a video call.

"Yeah. I get you, brother. Jason needs his dad in his life, no matter how much I try denying it. He needs him and I don't want him hating me later for breaking whatever there could have been between them." I respond.

"Yeah but at some point he would understand why you had to take that step."

"Might be late." I shrug my shoulder.

"Yeah. Maybe." I nod at what he says but remembering he can't see me, I repeat his 'Yeah'.

"I don't like this but well, I trust you on this one, Shalewa." Deji says. I hear the twin girls making noise in the background.

"They are at your work place?" I ask him, laughing.

"Yes. They asked to come here after school and you know I can't say no to them." Yeah, they have him wrapped around their cute little fingers.

"You're finished with those girls, egbon." I playfully tease him.

"Yes o. They are my light."

"Send me his house address, just in case."

"In case what?" I ask, knowing where this is leading to.

"In case he messes up. I'll arrange for him to get a lesson of his life." This man. I just knew it.

"I am not sending you anything."

"Shally, send it to me nau." As if! No be only send.

"No..no...Bye, bro." I throw him air kisses and chuckle, before ending the call.