"Virgil, how do you feel about comics?" Logan asked from the dining room. The logical trait chewed thoughtfully on a piece of toast.

Virgil, who'd woken up only minutes ago and come down stairs for a glass of water before returning to his bed, blinked. And blinked again. "Um... they're cool. Why?" Did he have to be attacked by the act of thinking at this very moment? Why couldn't he just go to sleep? There was the instant Virgil Grumpy Face™.

Logan looked at Virgil and sighed. Well, it seemed he'd made his left brain companion unhappy. "I apologize. Roman and I were having a discussion last night about the merits of a Sanders Sides comic book or strip. As usual, I proceeded to point out the lack of attraction in young people who can consume Sanders Sides content online, which would cause a profit over cost ratio analysis to show that the comic was not producing enough money to pay for its production. However, Roman's 'airtight' argument was 'Art woo hoo yaaay!'" Logan shook his head and sipped his coffee, making it seem like this was the most impetuous conversation he'd ever had.

Virgil stared at him.

And then he went to the sink, filled a glass of water, and left.

Logan watched him go and sighed. Whoops. Maybe he wasn't the best at reading social cues from his fellow sides. He looked down into his coffee cup and found it almost empty, which was a travesty among the mishaps of this morning. He rose from his chair and walked to their coffee machine, nestled safely in the corner of Patton's kitchen. Ah, thank goodness there was still some left.

He finished off the pot and settled back down. Manifesting the day's newspaper, Logan began to absentmindedly read the science section. There was an interesting development in the field of gravitational waves. Perhaps he'd have to research the new technological advances at LIGO later in the day.

That was the moment Roman decide to slide down the banister with extra flair and do a twirl at the end. Oh gosh... He's so extra, sometimes Logan wonders if the extra will make Roman explode. How much extra can one person take?

Roman was doing a prince pose oh no- why couldn't he understand that all the sides in this household merited equal hierarchical value... at this point Logan should stop even thinking about Roman. He's clearly delusional.

"I have arrived!" the princely trait called, strutting into the kitchen like it was a grand throne room. He couldn't care less about what Logan was doing or thinking or why he was existing- Logic is just a pain in Creativity's side, right? They have nothing whatsoever in common, not at all, nada, rein! Logan didn't even like comic books! What an absolute travesty. Roman would wish a curse on his counterpart's soul if they weren't both parts of the same person.

With a callus eye roll, Logan turned the page of the newspaper in his hand and ruffled it a little to keep the thin sheets from wilting. "Salutations, Roman," he remarked dryly. "Did you sleep well?" He was 100% not waiting for the answer. Besides, he was absorbed in this article about black holes (aka don't bother him).

Splendid! Now Roman got to talk about himself. He strode over to the coffee maker, smoothing his carefully un-creased uniform and sash over his chest. "Why of course I did! I am well rested and beautiful." He twirled for Logan. "Don't you see this shine?"

Guess who didn't even look up from his newspaper to examine Roman's "shine"?

With an irate huff, Roman picked up the coffee pot angrily to pour himself a mug. He didn't see Logan's look of alarm behind him, but he did notice that the coffee pot was... rather light...

"Logan..." Roman said with the darkest voice he possessed. "Did you drink the last of the coffee?" Upon turning to wave the coffee pot threateningly at the logical trait, Roman was stunned to see... "Logan?" The trait was gone.

Said trait sat down at his desk in his room. He ruffle the newspaper and began reading again with a nervous sigh. Thank goodness he sank out in time, he could have been toast if not for Roman's over-the-top theatrics.

Roman turned back to the coffee maker and put in a new filter, grumbling under his breath, "Squigity squat, Logan is a snot."

And so began the day of Logan vs. Roman.

~.~

Before 10 am, everyone in the house knew that Logan and Roman were in the process of having one of their arguments concerning Thomas. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence between the thinking based traits, and Virgil and Patton knew to stay out of their way when the two were battling.

Of course, it made Patton upset because dinners and family events were more tense than on average, which he never enjoyed. Lucky for him, a certain emo always managed to pay extra attention to him and entertain him while these quarrels were occurring. He always made the excuse that it was simply to keep the trait from melting down and giving him more work by making Thomas anxious.

By the time 3 pm rolled around, Patton had already sought out Virgil, and together, they were making an elaborate train track out of multiple Thomas the Train sets. Meanwhile, Logan decided that it would be a good idea to quarrel with Roman in the kitchen.

"What do you not understand about this situation? I believe I have made it clear: there is not enough money-"

"You don't know that! Just because you're a nerd doesn't mean you're some all knowing being capable of crushing my dreams!"

"Stop fake crying. While I am not omniscient, I utilize statistics to ascertain the probability of high sales-"

"You nerd! Gasp! Why won't you allow me to live the way I desire?!"

"I don't want you to cripple Thomas's self support systems!"

"You beast!"

Patton sighed and dragged a blue train along the track. "I'd say that the mature ones in this house are the ones playing with the train set right now." He didn't like Logan and Roman's fighting, but he wasn't about to get into the middle of it.

Virgil munched on his lip anxiously, pushing a small purple train up the track towards Patton's blue train. He looked up towards the kitchen and rolled his eyes. "They could at least have the decency to... I don't know... maybe yell in the library instead," he said dryly. His train reached Patton's and they repelled each other. If Logan had been watching, Virgil was sure he'd come up with some scientific explanation, but Virgil didn't really care.

Patton was very quiet when he spoke next. "It seems like Roman isn't the only one in Thomas's mind with an ego," he murmured. He turned Virgil's train around and the magnets snapped together, linking the trains.

Virgil raised an eyebrow and tried his best not to look up at Patton in surprise. The fatherly trait rarely ever spoke badly about Logan, or anyone for that matter. Virgil blinked a little and chewed his lip a little more, thinking. Could he command the others in the kitchen to stop? His powers wouldn't last long enough to shut them up forever. Maybe he could take Patton somewhere else? That sounded like a good idea. "C'mon dad, let's go to your room. I wanna watch a movie with you."

His plan did the trick, because Patton squealed in delight. "YoU wAnT tO WaTCh a mOViE wiTH mE?" He pulled Virgil up from the ground and into a hug. "YeS! Let'S gOoooOOoOOOooO!" He grabbed Virgil's hand and ran with him up the stairs to his room, giggling all the way. He had his arms in the air like a plane and he made little zoom noises between giggles.

Virgil breathed hard. Don't blame him for being out of shape. He didn't exactly enjoy running everywhere. The pair finally made it to Patton's room and Virgil breathed, "Okay... let's... just slow down... please...." He was winded.

Patton felt the jolt of happiness burst from his room and he bounced a little on his feet before Virgil spoke up. With a sheepish grin, he blushed and lead Virgil (slowly) over to his bed. "Whoops, sorry Virgil," he whispered. Despite Virgil's out of breath warning, Patton's face shined with a brilliant smile. "What do you want to watch? Oh can we watch Finding Nemo? Can we can we? Please please please please please?" The excitement = real.

Okay, Virgil couldn't deny how cute Patton was when he got excited. How was he going to say no to such a question? He smiled and shoved his hands into his pockets, saying, "Um, yeah, Patton. Sure." Wait for it... wait for it....

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Patton squealed and ran in a tiny circle jumping up and down. "Yayayayayayayay-" he was so happy. Thank goodness for the effects of his room. It may have been crowded with all of the stuff from Thomas's past that he hoarded, and it may never look as organized as Logan's, but by goodness, he loved it here. "Okayokay- I'll set it up and you grab pillows!" Patton rushed to the TV, turned it on, and began to scroll frantically through Netflix.

Virgil laughed quietly and flopped over on Patton's bed to reach the pillows. This could actually be... sort of fun. No more Logan and Roman blowing up the house, less work for Virgil, and maybe he'd even get to sleep. Win-win-win situation if you ask him.

Virgil grabbed the pillows and flopped back to the foot of the bed so that he could put the pillows down and see the TV. Just as he did, Patton's phone rang out with a shrill cry, blaring through the room and sending Virgil's fight or flight response into red alert. Virgil tumbled off the bed with a scream and Patton jumped about a mile. Quickly, the moral trait took his phone out of his picket and silenced the alarm.

"Oh shoot, I'm sorry Virgil! Are you okay?" Patton rushed over to him and checked Virgil for injuries. Oh no oh no- he hoped Virgil wasn't too hurt.

Virgil groaned and buried his face into the soft carpet. "Patton... what the fu- heck was that?" He needed a few moments to stop his heart from beating at lightning speed.

Another sheepish grin graced Patton's face and he gave Virgil a Patt-on the Shoulder™. "I um... hahah... I'm sorry about that," he said, looking down at his phone. "I tend to set my reminders with Roman's screaming so I don't miss them." He inspected this particular reminder, which simply said "The slam dunkin' plan". Cringing a little, Patton put the phone back in his pocket, making a mental note to stop setting vague and ominous reminders at 5:00 am.

"Let's just... watch the movie," Virgil grumbled, getting back onto the bed with Patton's help. Well, he was gonna be jumpy for the rest of the day. No naps for him.

Patton climbed onto the bed and put his phone on the pillow, just in case anyone called and needed him. Once the movie started, both of the emotion based traits settled down, ready to enjoy some relaxing time together.

Of course, they both had seen Finding Nemo thousands of times, so neither of them were surprised when Patton picked his phone and started aimlessly scrolling through... something. It wasn't until Patton started giggling and making small, happy sighs that Virgil's curiosity welled up and he leaned over and did a peek at Patton's phone screen. Hold up-

"Patton..." Virgil mumbled, "Are you... looking at pictures of Logan?" There was one of the teacher at the beach, one of him sleeping on the couch- oh lord. One of him lighting the stove on fire.

Oops, Patton has been Caught Red Handed. The dad trait's face warmed and he tried to cover it with his phone in a vain attempt to hide his embarrassment. "What? UM-" It was no use now, Virgil was already smirking and chuckling at Patton's obvious predicament.

"...yes," he admitted, giggling a tiny bit. Virgil laughed freely, nudging his friend's shoulder with mirth in his eyes.

"Oh gosh Dad," Virgil said. "You are so whipped."

With one more look down at his phone, Patton sighed again. "Well... yeah." Pure.

~.~

Logan collapsed in the dining room chair and sighed. At least Roman left a few minutes ago and gave Logan some peace. This back and forth bickering really was getting them nowhere. He would not concede to Roman's argument though. It was illogical.

A few minutes of resting in the chair did nothing to help Logan. He still needed to find some way to convince Roman that his answer was the only answer. There was only one option: Brainstorming.

Logan manifested his computer, a bowl of corn chips, and a glass of water. It was time to analyze data, make charts, and prove Roman wrong once and for all.

~.~

In all honesty, Logan may have been sucked into reading webcomics. It wasn't his fault! They seemed to be well thought out, with lots of detail and effort. If Logan could appreciate anything, it was meticulous, quality work. He sat back in his chair and sighed, staring at the ceiling. Perhaps he'd been wrong after all... he hadn't anticipated how much one could be enthralled by the small drawings. He stood and stretched, checking his watch. 7:00 pm, it seemed time flew by when he was enjoying an activity. Well, it didn't necessarily "fly by". Time cannot fly because it is a concept and not a physical object.

Just as he leaned down to pick up his computer and head back to his room, he heard someone coming down the stairs. If it was Roman again, he'd be in big trouble. Logan wanted to avoid another shouting match if possible. Quickly, the logical trait ducked through the door into the hallway and peaked around the corner to see who it was.

Surprise, it was not Roman, but rather Patton, dressed in jean overalls and a soft blue t-shirt. Logan's heart raced as his eyes swept over the cat onesie tied around Patton's shoulders and the pink-ish purple of his hair. That humming... Patton's humming was extremely soothing... so much so that Logn couldn't pull his eyes away.

Suddenly, Logan's head whipped back around the corner and he lay against the wall, breathing heavily. Oh goodness... His heartbeat... his breathing... This wasn't a Patton-related illness. It was...

"A crush," Logan muttered, covering his mouth as if that would stop the butterflies from escaping his heart. It didn't. All of a sudden, little blue bugs with beautiful symmetrical wings manifested from Logan's glowing cerulian power and flew forth from his chest, scattering through the hallway. One flittered out to the kitchen and landed on the polished marble kitchen top. Logan watched as Patton reached his hand out and let the small butterfly climb on. The moral trait looked so happy, and also slightly confused. How could such a perfect, beautiful, innocent creature exist? Logan wasn't talking about the butterfly

Just as the small organism flew into the air and vanished with tiny blue sparkles, Patton looked right at Logan's hiding space, calling, "Logan? Logan is that you?"

Panic overtook the logical trait's form. His hands shook as he pushed himself back from around the corner and squeezed his eyes shut. No way. This is totally illogical. This can't be happening. No no no no-

By the time Patton dared to venture in the doorway to check on the source of the glowing butterfly, Logan had already disappeared to his room.

~.~

Virgil flopped down onto Roman's bed and groaned loudly. Over by his closet, Roman mock rolled his eyes.

"I thought I was the dramatic one in this household, Virgil. Why are you trying to steal my job?" Roman asked curiously.

Roman was sorting through... ballroom gowns? Virgil raised an eyebrow and peaked around the creative trait to get a look in the closet. "How do you fit all of your clothes into your closet?!" Virgil exclaimed incredulously.

Of course, Since Virgil owned about one shirt, one pair of pants, and a hoodie, Roman didn't expect him to understand the very relevant need for endless clothing items. What if Roman had to look cute one day and sexy the next? What if he needed the perfect ballroom gown for when his significant other finally appeared, riding a cloud from heaven? "Since you asked so politely, I have an infinite closet. The power of imagination is great," Roman replied, taking out a red ballroom gown and spinning while holding it against his chest. "Isn't this so beautiful? It is tragic that you don't understand how devastatingly beautiful I am!" The prince feigned a swoon and Virgil couldn't resist a major eye roll.

"I think you overestimate your 'prettiness' Princy. I don't want to compliment you because my instincts tell me that your head would explode." Virgil smirked and laughed lightly at the horrified expression worn by his counterpart.

Roman responded by throwing the red ballroom gown over Virgil with offended prince noises. "Gah, get this off me!" Virgil cried, flailing until the gown finally fell off of him and pooled on Roman's bed. "I will leave this room Princy! I will leave and no one will admire you and your shiny dresses!"

Well, that threat was enough to make Roman reconsider throwing the next ball gown at Virgil. He needed attention to survive, especially after all the arguing he and Logan were doing. "Fine, fine! Just don't leave. I won't throw anything at you, Negative Points for Style."

Ah, once again, Virgil got what he wanted. Satisfied, he threw the dress back at Roman and settled down again. He took out his phone and started scrolling absentmindedly through tumblr. There was some new angsty She-Ra art, which Virgil definitely reblogged, because hell yes, everyone deserved angst.

A random thought crossed Virgil's mind when a very well drawn klance fanart flickered past him. "Hey Princy, you think Logan will ever realize how head-over-heals he is for Patton?"

Roman weedled a particularly sparkly purple dress out of his closet and held it by the hanger, inspecting it carefully for missing sequins. "Well..." that didn't actually take a lot of thought. "No. He's a bit too uptight for that." It was too bad, really, because Roman shipped it.

Now that was obvious, but hearing it out loud still made Virgil irritated for some reason. Standing, the anxious man took to pacing around Roman's room, doing his best to avoid his reflection in the floor-to-ceiling mirrors. "It's so annoying!" he cried, waving his arms to prove his point. "Patton's always pining after him and I have to see him be upset when Logan doesn't even realize that Dad's flirting with him! We should do something to get them together."

Roman folded his arms against his chest and smirked, turning to Virgil and leaning against the closet with a cheeky look in his eyes. "You're right..."

There was an indignant, "ROMAN!" from the anxious trait.

Playing innocent, Roman raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Virgil scowled, giving Roman his best death glare, which was very much undercut by the sparkly purple floor-length dress he now wore.

Oh God, Virgil was never going to live this down.

"I hate you."

~.~

Logan curled up in his room against the corner. His knees were pulled up to his chest and he cradled his computer, staring at the floor. A crush. A crush. On Patton. He had a crush on Patton.

The logical trait was absolutely floored. And maybe a little (a lot) scared out of his mind. This... didn't happen to him. Not to the trait that was known throughout the entire mindscape and fander community as the Side without emotions. Even Logan himself didn't believe this could ever happen to him. As far as he knew, from his research into the concept of crushes, love, and Roman—this was a very big emotion, and Logan didn't do those... he was broken wasn't he?

Logan's unabashed fear struck right at his heart, but also in the heart of another. The logical trait drew on Virgil's anxious powers as his thoughts quickly spiraled into existential territory. This alerted the other left brain trait of Logan's plight.

Virgil stared at Roman angrily. At first, he'd only been annoyed about the dress, but the moment he realized that he was sensing anxiety from Logan and not himself, his glare became even more pronounced.

"Roman, get this off me right now! Logan's in trouble."

Roman was only playing until he heard those words. His smirk vanished and he snapped Virgil's regular clothes back immediately. "Where is he?" Well surprise surprise, it seemed Roman could be serious when it was required of him.

Virgil rolled his eyes and zipped up his hoodie. "It doesn't work like that-" He covered his mouth, eyes widening. Oh crap, his Tempest Tongue. This wasn't just bad, it was really bad.

Roman seemed to have the same realization, because he grabbed Virgil's arm and dragged him to Logan's room. That seemed to be the obvious place to look first. It turned out to be the right place too, because when Roman opened the door, he instantly spotted Logan curled up in the corner of the room, staring at the floor like it was a million miles away. His eyes were glazed over, but filled with panic and confusion.

"Lo-" Virgil cursed his low, echoey voice. It seemed to snap Logan out of his trance though, because he looked up at Virgil and Roman in surprise. "Logan what's going on?" He moved past Roman into the room and knelt next to his distraught counterpart.

Roman walked into the room stiffly, waiting to adjust to the uncomfortable and stifling atmosphere of Logan's room. He decided to sit on Logan's bed and let Virgil solve this problem.

Logan looked over at Virgil and chewed on his lip a little. "Virgil, I believe I have a romantic attraction to Patton." But that couldn't be right. Logan didn't get romantic attraction. He shook his head and bit his lip more. "No! That's not true! But I cannot deny a fact. But it isn't a fact, it's a feeling! Can feelings be facts? Can I even have such feelings?" He held his head in his hands, shaking it frantically, trying to so hard to make sense of everything that was happening to him, but still being unable to, seeing as this wasn't part of his "programming".

Virgil could tell exactly what this was. He'd never pegged Logan for the existential crisis type but... well, here they were. He sat down on the wall next to Logan and sighed. Now what? He supposed he could comfort him. Might be worth the try at least. Virgil put his arm awkwardly around Logan's shoulders and pulled him into his side. "Hey Lo... it's okay to feel. It doesn't make you a failure. You can still do your work. You can still function."

Logan leaned into Virgil, blinking owlishly. Roman eyed him curiously and a realization dawned on him. Everyone in the fandom―and even most of the sides themselves―believed that Patton was the most innocent side of all. It was one of the staples of his narrative. However... Looking at Logan now, Roman was stunned by how young and vulnerable the logical trait looked. How could anyone have missed this bit of Logan?

Well, now that Roman thought about it, the answer was obvious. How could anyone who hadn't experienced happiness in years know what it was like? Logan must have been so scared to feel anything that he wouldn't let himself feel happiness. If that wasn't one of the saddest things Roman had ever realized, he couldn't call himself intelligent, could he?

Roman slid off the bed and knelt in front of Logan and Virgil. Holding out his hand, Roman closed his eyes and summoned a small stuffed animal with purple threading and x-ed out eyes.

Virgil recognized Scruffles immediately. Smiling, he took it from the creative trait and held it in front of Logan. "Here. This is um... my stuffed animal. Scruffles. Hold him." Hopefully the softness would help Logan.

The logical trait took the small toy in one hand, admiring the smooth texture of the knitting work. It was... soothing. He started to calm, rubbing gently at the toy. "I do not know what to do or how to act. I used to know what to do and say at any given time. How can I look at him and not have anything to say?" Who even was Logan without his words? They made him who he was.

That was where it fell into place for Roman. He was the other thinking based trait in this room. When it came to Logan's words or Roman's creations, they both cherished them. To have something in the way of the words or the creating... was the same as being blind. Roman put a hand on Logan's shoulder. "You have a new tool. Now you can use words and feelings. Imagine..." Roman swept his hand across the room like he was showing Logan the world. "Imagine telling Patton how glorious he looks in the light of morning, riding in on a cloud with a thousand rainbows behind him as he leans down to sweep you off your feet and carry you away..." He trailed off with a sheepish grin and the biggest blush of mortification on his face. "Pardon me... my imagination ran wild for a second."

Logan watched and slowly, the panic subsided from his eyes. A tiny little smile grew on his face. A few seconds of silence passed before he looked out to his room like Roman had and said very romantically, "I want to put my mouth on his mouth."

Roman and Virgil groaned in unison, and Virgil had to fight hard to keep his snicker down. Well, it looked like Roman's mini rant had some positive effect on Logan. The anxious left brain emo already knew how much his anxiety had gone down, and everyone seemed very relieved. Even Virgil's Tempest Tongue was gone.

"Yes, you do that, Logan. Just... not when I'm around." PDA? Gross. Virgil would yeet right out of the room at a moment's notice.

The romantic trait, on the other hand, almost shook Logan by the shoulders. Love required elegance and finesse! Not mouth to mouth! "I will teach you how to kiss right! And I'll dress you properly and we can have a party! I'll invite Remy too!" He was already in Party Planning Mode™ and nothing could stop him.

Logan smiled a little bit. He may have a strange family, but it was his strange family, and he felt very proud of it.

There was a timid knock on the door an all heads swiveled in the direction of the sound. "Logan? It's just Patton, here to tell you that dinner's ready!" he said, opening the door to peak head in. "...oH! It's a love fest in here! That's so perfect and sweet and lovely and wonderful and-" whoops, he got carried away there. He shook his head and smiled brilliantly. "Anywho, dinner is ready! Come get it while it's hot."

The other three traits in the room stood up and nodded. "We will arrive shortly," Logan confirmed. Once Patton left the room, he rubbed his face a little bit. "This is going to be quite difficult, isn't it?"

Well... "Yes," Roman said. From Virgil's glare at him, the prince figured that that didn't help Logan's anxiety. With a shrug, Roman put his hand on Logan's shoulder and nodded reassuringly. "It will be worth it, I promise you."

Together, they made their way down to find an absolutely wonderful aroma wafting from the kitchen. What a wonderful dinner.

What a wonderful life.