'A place where someone still thinks of you, that's a place you can call home'

If anybody ever wondered what it's like to go insane? And here I am talking about real insane the actual meaning of it.

Seriously mentally ill.

Yep, these four days would have made my trip to mental Asylum, possible.
Which wasn't on my bucket list.

These four days were the most difficult days of my life.
Because in these days,

I.Was.Splitting.

It wasn't like the previous times when you don't know how exactly it happened? what brought it?.
One moment you weren't there and another moment you were back. Back with feeling disoriented and no memory about what you did at that time.

It's scary

But it was bearable, as in that case I knew who I am and I didn't have to check multiple times whether I was imagining or I was just going mad, like seriously.

It happened once in a day to like every fucking hour.

My conversation with the weirdo as follows.

You're welcome, I cleaned rubbish called something like 'rules for my other personality' or whatever, had really made the room untidy ;)

She didn't just throw away the rules I laid down. My 8 pages ground rules took nearly 30 mins.

I reformed them after coming back from Laksh's house and mostly they were how she should be 5m away from him or if possible just forget about him completely out of her mind actually my mind the quarter part she had of it.

Anyway, I searched methods that involved yoga and meditation for forgetting someone. I invested myself so hard on it, for her and she threw it away. Just like that! And she's the nerve to be cheeky about it.

She didn't just stop at it.

She stated facts on MY WALL with MY NEW LIPSTICKS!

Fact#1 this body belongs to me as much as it does to you

Fact #2 I have equal rights to all of its parts, any objections dear? Go read fact #1 again

Fact #3 you might not know it but I'll repeat it for you, finding pity on the smallest portion of the brain that you got.
Laksh likes me EQUALLY if you don't know then go ask him for yourself.
I can and I will like him back. Any objections? Go refer to fact #1

Fact #4 you stay away from MY friends go back to your so-called friends!
Btw, Is anything still left in your life to mess with? is there?

I scrubbed the wall off and have it painted. Ryan did it for me wholeheartedly and gladly.

Alright I made him do it for me

Half of the day belonged to her I got only nights and school time that's really not counted as I barely get any free time during those hours, so much syllabus to cover.

And nights was when I have to sleep so eventually, what I got was nothing. Nada. Zero

I thought it only happens when I provoked her but these days she came upon her own like forcefully barging into my life while I want to shove it in and never want her to come up. I wake up and go to school and I don't remember the part after that... Like, I found myself lying on the bed for tomorrow!?

At least she had the decency to not dress weirdly other than my friends no one seemed to have noticed the change that I wasn't myself it was my other personality.

She could act like me? that thing really impressed and scared me at the same time. Fortunately, my friends and Laksh didn't fall for her trap they know when was me and when was the weirdo talking.

Like right now, I was talking to Ryan and he first observed me carefully then said, "so Avi?"

"Don't ask such obvious questions Ryan it's irritating" I said, holding my forehead, glaring at my unfinished meal on the plate. I didn't even eat properly but I feel my stomach full. This is so weird and mind boggling

"You've your session you should get going to make it on time," Ryan said monotonously, making a move to leave.

I frowned at his behavior, he seemed down for some cause.

"What happened now? And the session is for her not me" the bitch always gets vanished off at every session time making me attend them.

He turned back looking nervous and a bit sullen, "do I scare you, Avi?" He asked out of nowhere.

I dropped my arm looking at him properly, "come here" I called.

He looked unsure for a moment but when I glared he immediately reached where I was sat on the couch.

I leveled my head to his and said with a deadpan look, "Ryan do I look fucking scared of you?"

Ryan stared at me as if seriously pondering upon my question it hurt my ego, shit I was losing my touch. I should up my angry girl meter from now.

Then he sighed grinning, "nope, that's a much relief thank you, can you like abuse me more? It makes me so happy I feel so powered up it's so good for my manhood-

"Shut up and get lost" I said rubbing my temples.

He beamed at me with sheer worship," ah this feels so good" he even closed his eyes blissing the moment.

"Ryan..." I trailed with a warning voice.

He didn't stop there rather pulled me in a bone-crushing hug. I groaned, "what's wrong with you seriously?"

"Post Avi is so frightened of me that even I feel insecure and doubt whether I've done something wrong to her ever," he told in a small voice.

I sighed, patting his back reassuringly. "Ryan, you did nothing wrong, you get that? Get in your head she has a problem" that's me actually. It made me feel so bad because of me he had to also suffer."not you, you're just so... nice boy" I pulled back looking at his face the baby face the little kid I used to play around I saw him still there just with a little grown and more refined features with hesitancy and self-doubt crossing over them, due to faint but visible scar.

I touched it cautiously. He flinched. I withdrew my hand back immediately. "It still hurts?" I asked him.

He shook his head looking so fragile. "Only its presence hurt"

My expression softened, I never asked whether he was alright he went through the same accident like me. "Ryan.. are you fine?"

He nodded slowly snapping out with a grin, the forced one, "I am always fine" he said smiling.

"No, you're not" I denied observing him searching for what was irking him?

"Be careful Avi I might think you actually love me back Laksh won't be happy then, at least wait till you break up with him?" he said wiggling his eyebrows.

I made a face though a smile crept over it on hearing his name. Laksh.

Ryan saw me pecking on Laksh's lips the other day when he dropped me at my home. Surprisingly, Ryan only nodded and said he was heartbroken yet extremely happy by that. Later on, I barged into his room demanding what that nonsense meant.

He told he's heartbroken because I am trying to not consider my love for him. I threw a pillow in his face for that...

Extremely happy because Laksh is a worthy opponent and anyone who deserves to be with me after 'him' was Laksh . So he was glad and made me sworn on a blood oath that I would help him find my doppelganger for him.

I know, he's delusional, stupid, and still an innocent kid. That wants me to just protect him from all the world and be there for him like a big sister.

"Ryan you know I never say this" my face burned with embarrassment feeling very awkward, "but I" I looked at him batting my eyelashes to cover up my awkwardness

He glared at me, "don't play with my feelings"

"Don't worry, really not interested"

"Such a bad liar"

"Shut up like I was saying. There's this good side in me-

"You mean the third personality?"

I shot him a blank look

"Okay continue," he said snickering

"So the good side in me says that she's-

"You're legit talking in a third-person point of view!"

"Will you shut it?"

"Okay continue I swear I will be silent as a stone which is like Laksh so I will be as silent as Laksh"

I glared at him, "not funny" I said

"Really? then why do I see a small smile?" he pointed at my face with that ridiculous grin.

My lips wobbled,"fuck it" I said slapping a hand over my face matching his ridiculous grin.

I laughed kicking his shin forgetting my ankle which still hurt. I winced looking back at him, "Ryan I am here you know for you, you can share with me anything" I said quickly.

"Anything?" He asked still grinning. But I saw his eyes flashed hesitancy.
I nodded firmly assuring him

He drew in a breath, "then I want to discuss a certain anatomical part of my body-

"Gekdkfkdkek!" I screamed shooting up on my feet to leave.

His laughter resonated from behind.

~•~•~

🔁Post Avi POV( I am mentioning it to avoid any confusions 😥)

I extended my arm out glancing at my wristwatch. 4:30 pm!!

Tuitions time!!

I rolled on my bed almost falling but caught my cat's tail and then I was saved by a cat.

"Shiru my love.." I hugged the life out of my snowball grumpy cat it returned my warm hug by clawing my sweater and shrieking like a banshee.

"How affectionate you are?" I smiled, dodging when he literally had clawed my face.

Feeling sympathetic for his misery I freed him he wiggled out of my hold instantly running away for his life.

I jolted up feeling amused," we gonna shift again hope you have said good-byes to your all-female cat friends I don't want any unfinished business. Settled it up like a good boy Shiru with an understanding and closure that's how breakups are! Isn't it Old Avi or whatever" I got up walking to my desk of course seeing a note waiting for me

I know you'll be surfacing when I had tuitions with Laksh that's why we changed the time and you don't know it :)

I narrowed my eyes then balled the note tossed it out the window angrily

A smile popped up on my face when an idea lightened in my mind.

I called Riya.

When the bell rang, I counted and prepared myself to act like the old Avi.

Riya answered, "hello? Avi?"

"Who else?" I said bitchily. I hope so, it was bitchily.

There was a pause then Riya replied, "post-Avi"

My heart fell how can she knew that? How can all of my friends seem to be on her side? It really hurt.

"There's only one Avi okay please stop with this nonsense" nevertheless I tried again.

"You know Avi I am your best friend first and not to mention, the difference between the two of you is your voices. You guys have totally different voices and accents. So don't blame me if I know it's you my crazy one Avi"

Oh okay well then I have to put more effort into my acting.

"You're so irritating yuck" I made a fake gagging noise because yeah well I tried again.

"You can tell me when you give up"

"Okay fine! Do you know when's my tuitions time I seemed to have forgotten it"

"I don't know..." She said slowly.

She knows it SHE KNOWS IT

SHE
KNOWS
IT

"You're lying" I sniffed, "I see you don't consider me your friend now I mean nothing  to you.."

"Emotional blackmail arghh.."

"Please please tell me"

"I can't. You know that you both are my friends and -

I hung up.

Looked back at the bags which I have packed like yesterday and like the day before yesterday and like these past four days. They were again unpacked and clothes placed in the cupboard.
Laksh had been stalling me from running away but today, I don't care I'll leave. They don't care about me no one does. They want her. But that's not me. I wiped my face.

"Come on Shiru we leaving this country today" I pulled Shiru while he was trying to escape away through the window . "You won't bail on me like the rest of them," I told him strictly before throwing him into a basket. I closed the lid over his protesting mouth.

Might be yelling some cat code language calling for his gang or something.

Anyway, He will get used to it. Last time when I stole him from the Eastside of the town he wailed the same way. But see now how he was so happy with me!
Isn't it?

I mean a little salty and isn't ready to let go of his past but he was still happy and we will be more that's it!
The cat and the human pairing are the best pairings in the world. We could conquer this freaking selfish world.

I need to get out silently for that I want Ryan out of the house so he won't spoil my plan or worse call Laksh who loves her more. Yikes, why did the betrayal feel like a bullet to my heart? I shrugged off trust me to get so dramatic.

I texted Ryan

Avi
Meet me at the swimming pool

When I texted I realized I should have thought a little before texting.

Ryan😵
Swimming pool? Really in Winters what are you up to?

Avi
I am buying Doritos

Maybe should have thought for two hours before texting

Ryan 😵
They are now selling them at swimming pools?

Avi
I meant at the shop you know the shop near it?

I begged God to construct a shop near the swimming pool please please show me miracles happen

Ryan 😵
Oh that shop

Avi
Yes!

Thank you thank you, God!

Ryan 😵
The one that sells lingerie?

Maybe I should have been more specific with my prayers

Avi
Yes yeah...they keep Doritos also for... if customers get bored of doing lingerie shopping

Ryan 😵
How thoughtful of them 😚

Avi
So are you coming I have kinda lost my way!

Ryan😵
How did you even get there I never saw you leaving out?

What is he a freaking Sherlock Holmes!

Avi
I went when you're in the washroom

Ryan😵
Oh yeah! Hey I am still in the washroom.. wait for me I am coming!

I waited for 5 minutes

Avi
You coming?

Ryan😵
Of course, I always wanted to see a lingerie store that sells Doritos!

Avi
Cool! Come fast

I immediately turned off the phone and picked up the basket and my school backpack with clothes and most importantly my hard-earned money in my piggy bank there. I left my house and made my way to the station.

I don't know where I was going but first I'll leave the vicinity of this town that's why I get to the bus station.

People shot me weird looks maybe they never saw a girl traveling alone with a big basket in her arms and neon pink color overstuffed backpack and me cutely dressed in a baby pink dungaree dress with two buns tied with cute ribbons. I know I looked the cutest

I sat on the very bus I didn't know where it was going. But, somewhere far away from the place where no one wants me. Somewhere far away and foreign even original Avi can't get out of it.

I gazed at the window my teary reflection watching me back. Laksh said he liked me equally he lied.
I covered my face with my arm wiping my face on the sleeve. Goodbye, Laksh goodbye everyone, I said as the bus moved ahead on my new journey.

~•~•~