"I look at you, and I just love you, and it terrifies me. It terrifies me what I would do for you"

I glanced back at Laksh his eyes still focused on his palm, to my imaginary roughly drawn heart. He stared at it with utter fascination and... lovingly.

The genuineness behind his affection made me warn him again not for my sake but his,
"Laksh think properly, things might turn more messy and complicated, you can get rid of me now " I said with a heavy heart," all you have to do is say no-"

"Thought it, have decided since you didn't even know about it" he cut me off closing his hand in a fist then returned his attention to me, his expression held no hesitation rather the usual calmness adorned his face which only increased my admiration for him.

I could feel myself unwinding like really I was giving him a part of myself.

The most vulnerable and the hidden part that I even haven't discovered it yet

"I am very clingy" I warned him trying to scare him off so that he backs out.

"I am used to it by now" he said smoothly. I shot him an unamused look.

"I am very possessive" I added with an eyebrow raised.

"I can get used to it," he told not giving up already.

"I get angry at times for futile reasons"

"At times? " He asked incredulously, mocking me.

I gave him a sheepish look, "okay... I am angry most of the times for no reason"

He shuffled closer to me inclining his head over mine, "I can give you reasons"

My heart literally skipped a beat, "you're flirting with me" I told with narrowed eyes

"And you're liking it" he guessed it right absolutely correct! Give him a medal!

I punched his shoulder with a glare, "serious talk Laksh serious talk like I was telling you about my bad qualities-"

"They're bad qualities?" he frowned like a genuine frown but those glint eyes showed the hidden mirth

"Yes they are bad qualities something that one usually doesn't like in a person," I said facing front on the empty road. Laksh shifted towards me I copied him and laid my head on his shoulder.

"I have two personalities" I reasoned in a low voice.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder pulling me to his chest from behind, "I can love them both" he promised.

I turned my head grasped his shirt tightly as I felt my body shook. The heaviness that was weighing me down for months reached up pouring right out of my eyes. It dropped gradually from my eyes rolling down from the cheeks to his shoulder. I sobbed silently, once seeped out I couldn't hold them in any longer. Laksh held my head gently while I cried my heart out on his shoulder.

I cocked my head to glance at him. Expecting him to smirk or pass a snide remark at my crying and messy self. So that I could whack his head and we can engage ourselves in our usual banter.

Instead, he lend me his shoulder listening to my sobs and hiccup intently. As if conveying me I wasn't unattended and unheard.

His silence is the comfort that no words could ever provide. It had his understanding, it had his patience and it had something that can only be felt without saying it aloud.

Because Love is a feeling

it's indescribable it's incomprehensible, you rack your brain finding logic in something that doesn't even have.

It just happens

And you can only know about it, when you feel it ,just feel it with no conditions, with no expectations and with no measures.

I don't need anything from him right now but hold me when I break down, just have me in his arms so that I don't have to watch my broken pieces all alone.

"Not to sound flattered but why me?
Laksh? What did you find in me? Someone so loud so obnoxious so emotionally and mentally unstable, what had drawn you towards my messy life towards me just a mess of me? " I asked, watched his finger brushing off my hair that was stuck on my cheeks by the tears stain behind my ear. I clasped his hand held it to my chest.

"Why me? Laksh?" I urged him more seriously now.

I wanted to know more, I wanted to hear him say more. He never says anything I wanted to hear his voice even it says just two words, I'll be happy if one was my name.

He gazed down at me with soft expression his eyes flashing the shared pain. The one he could feel it too.

"I have never seen anybody so innocent, so chaotic and so lost" he started.

Best description ever

But innocent?

Me?

"It's not like one day I realized I love you it's a long process it's an endless process every day I seemed to fall for the girl who called herself as my rival quite hilarious, she's as reserved as she's bold, she's as strong as she's broken she's as mean as she's kind"

He turned his eyes down feeling shy suddenly.

"Every day I got to know something new about her when I thought I got her figure out, every day she keeps me on edge to guess what would make her eyes shine either it's when she gets mad at me? or when she laughs at something?.
From wondering and finding the reason for them I landed myself wanting to be the cause of them.

So every day I got drawn towards her, every day I wanted something more, and every day this feeling grew on. From annoying to bothering to liking to loving and it is still growing" he said with a delicate touch of his fingertip on my lower lip. My mouth was parted in astonishment I was still in trance, a trance made by his words. Didn't know Laksh had that much in him. He felt that strongly for me.

"I was hoping for something more like because I have an incredibly sexy body" I blurted, moving my hips to make my point clear.

"Oh Yes, that's the main point," he said nodding his head in amusement, his hand fidgeting awkwardly on my chest which I realized that I still had it pressed against my chest. I dropped it immediately horrified... in a very good way.

I coughed, shifting back against his chest.

"So it's because of me? Just me? " I prodded more because I love whatever he said about me I don't want him to stop. He spoke like he was unraveling some interesting theory, a mystery that he only knew about I was enthralled more than I used to get when he tutored me.
His voice made every word feel so believable and they reached straight to my heart.

"if it's not you then who? Who else would have got my attention? who else would've dared to get near a class loner? Who else would've hit me with a tap? Who else would have barged into my house and take off my shirt?-

"Hey! That was only because of sickness purpose!" I shouted, my cheeks on fire.

"Only sickness purpose?" He asked doubtfully

"Only sickness purpose!" I half lied.

"Okay"

"Yeah.."

"You know... " I said inclining more towards him if it was still possible because I was almost sitting on his lap, "if I ever act bitch to you, you repeat those words to me or when I feel down can you say them to me?" I requested.

"Repeatedly" he agreed kissing on the crown of my head.

"Just a teensy change there, that innocent word you know replaced it with sexy, I am not innocent," I told with a pretend shy smile.

He stared at me blankly, "you're innocent, your eyes say"

Oh well, let's prove him wrong! I settled myself probably on his lap then face him with my arms looped around his neck, he stiffened, "I am not innocent Laksh don't get fooled by these eyes" I looked straight into his.

"You can do or say anything I still believe you're innocent about.." he suck in a breath when I brushed my nails on the sensitive back skin of his neck.

"About?" I prompted by whispering in his ear then kissed below it, his skin burned under my touch.

"Umm... I was saying how are you doing with the post-Avi issue?" He asked out of the blue and spoiled my mood for big time.

I pulled back with a glare," you won't go near her" I clarified.

He raised his eyebrow finding it funny.

"I mean it Laksh," I told sternly. "It's my issue I'll deal with it alone don't make her feel so included she might never leave"

"But she's part of yourself" he told arguing with me?

"She's not. I don't want that part Laksh just stay away from her"

"No"

"What do you mean by No?" I asked looking properly at him what the hell was he up to?

"I mean I know her as much as I know you and the thing is you both are the same"

"That's the difference Laksh we aren't the same she's like an invasion to my body and Invasion of anything isn't good and it's my body Laksh! it's my life!" I yelled and he remained unfazed not even slightly moved by my outburst, how can he take it so lightly?

"You don't know Laksh what it's like to not remember to not know what happened with you? A whole six months what did I do? Every time I am back to my senses I am bombarded by bad news? Do you know how badly my mind is messed up? how am I functioning right now!? How am I even smiling here with you..." My voice cracked Laksh dropped his head on my shoulder kissing there and hugged me from behind. I tilted back over his head, blinking hard at the sky. "it's a mere  miracle. You won't believe it Laksh it's like whenever I feel so torn apart...I feel so down lost of any hope I am magically provided with an invisible comfort and unbelievable braveness that urges me to get up and maybe it's my parents sending blessings or maybe it's God showing mercy by providing strength. Or maybe because of my good deeds and humble nature"

Laksh chuckled at 'humble nature' kissing my cheek as if he couldn't stop himself from.

"Or it's because of you! I don't know what it is who it is but I feel okay I am like come on life bitch come at me you won't see me defeated you won't see me lying miserably, I might die trying but I won't die defeated but... do you know how exhausting it is at times to be strong? It's draining me out yet I am still here breathing, living, kicking, kissing and hoping" I babbled.

"You're way too strong I love that about you, I really love that about you," he said with a respect that means a lot to me because getting a compliment from Laksh was another level of accomplishment.

My body was fuzzed with warmness and love.
I turned and embraced him reciprocating the sentiment. I cupped his cheeks gazing at him similar to the way I admire an extraordinary dazzling star, "I love you Laksh" I said bumping my nose to his playfully. He placed his hands above mine staring down at me intently like I was the hardest maths problem and he would love every part of solving it, "likewise" he said cheekily.

I gave him not so amused look

He pulled my head underneath his chin mumbling something incoherently.
I poked his chest,"don't hide your shy face that's my favorite one after intent one and there's also glint eyes one, then there's tight-lipped smile and wait how can I forgot your signature bored look!?...oh wow I have mentally made a list of your facial expressions!-

"Love you too," he said shutting my mouth with his lips.

Well, I should talk a lot more often then.