"I am bad with words, I hope you're good in reading eyes"

I dialed his number then having second thought I ended the call giving a miss call. I hate missed calls.

But I can't do this, he knew like the rest of them (my newly made friends) that my life is messed up.

Avi had an ultimate factory of baggage.

A mental condition that's almost declaring me a maniac

A dark past that I wasn't even aware of and no family left to explain it. What an interesting life I have now...

Who's gonna like me?

Who can even dare to love a person who has two personalities, if having her already emotionally broken wasn't enough?

People can't handle one personality and here I was gifted with two.

Aren't I am the chosen one?

I always thought I would never do this but today I was really feeling sorry for myself. For my life, how drastically it changed. Every phase had demanded, ordered me to stay strong for obstacles that won't just stop at. Whenever I made myself ready to have my feet stable and stand up to face the world with enough courage, the courage that I am barely able to found within myself yet still I get ready to breath a new start and not to wallow in grief,then guess what happens?

I am slapped hard by another shit.

Just break me so that I won't get up again.

I glance at the vibrating phone in my hand.

Laksh was calling me

I should probably not answer and avoid him, to make his and my life easier and maybe it would be less complicated if I stepped back and save both of ourselves from further undefinable situations.

I stared when it vibrated once again after the call ended.

I would've to be self-destructive as well as selfish to drag another person into my mess.

My cautious and logical side yelled at me to end whatever I started with Laksh because that route would lead to nothing but more trouble.

But you know what?
I am done avoiding the complicated aspects of my life. Now I should learn to grab and maybe kiss the life out of it.

I answered by accepting his call and held the phone to my ear without saying anything.

He didn't say anything either, I heard his light breathing from the other side of the line indicating his presence. It was strange how I can recognize him by his breathing.

Just the light breezing of it was more than enough to relax as well as spark me.

Slowly, I sat back on the bed still holding the phone against my ear not initiating any conversation.

Eventually, our breathing started syncopating each other. Which was quite sensual... how could anyone get thrilled and affected by one's breathing?

I put a hand to my uncontrollable heartbeats.

"So...?" He drawled clearing his throat, urging me to speak something.

"So?" I repeated, clearing my throat too.

"You good?" He asked as some seconds passed between us and our breathings got slightly more audible.

"Uh-huh.." I hmmed, wrapped an arm around my knees pulling them to my chest.

After another moment of silence that proved unbearable for my system, for me to just hear his breathing and few vague words all together caused the butterflies in my stomach go literally out of their freaking stupid little minds "Can I come over there?" I blurted dropping my knees tilted my head at the ceiling as if I could find my answer there. Which was

Hell yeah!

Or

Come on what ya waiting for!

My mind whispered What if he said no?

I won't take a no for the answer so I shot up making my way out of the room swiftly and almost rushing out. Then I dashed back to my room to check my image in the mirror.
How can I leave without even glancing at the mirror!?

I inspected my outfit, long black hoodie and black jeans. Oh wow didn't I look sexily cute Huh?

I looked at my plain tear smudged face. I ran to the bathroom washing it immediately then checked again. Feeling for something bold today cause my lips looked way too boring, I pulled out a ruby red color matte lipstick and applied it over my lips meticulously. I pressed my lips getting it even. Then stared at me.

Still, something was missing

Maybe some eyeliner won't hurt. I opened my makeup box resting my thigh on the dressing table to avoiding exerting any pressure on my ankle. With the freehand, I held the mobile in place. Because hey! Laksh was still online and he hadn't even answered

"You... can," Laksh said slowly

Yay! I fist-bumped with my image in mirror, celebrating

Smiling I applied the thick winged liner quickly,
"Thank you, Your highness for allowing me," I said.

On the way out. I told Ryan and my aunt how I was alright and fine and they don't need to worry. My Aunt felt relieved when I told her I was ready to take the therapy. And now that she doesn't need to feel guilty or blame herself If my post; the different personality made her feel so. Anyway, the thinking part of my brain was too numbed to make any arguments or logical debates currently.

I skittered heading to the way of Laksh's house and after around 20 mins I reached his house.

Why did he have to live so far away?

I found him sitting outside of his house on a step.

He was waiting for me?

I pushed myself to continue the walk and don't get dreamy standing there. The boy was after my heart no comments!

His head shot up instantly on hearing my footsteps. I stopped right in front of him my eyes gazing down they went entrance the moment they landed to his bright specks. Same as all the times these eye contacts were so hot, the most intimate touch without even touching, this would never get old. I wanted to look away and hide my face in my palms and at the same time, I wanted to stare back the whole day.

"Hey.." I said which came out more like a sigh.

It was evening time the setting sun was emitting the warm orange glow that only enunciated his figure more appealingly.

Like a warrior returning from some battle.

My mind was getting fanciful I shook myself mentally and putting breaks to my thoughts from describing how Laksh was no less than a real fantasy. (*Sighs*)

He got up gradually all along his eyes never left mine they shifted and traveled down to my lips then back to me.
"Hey" he greeted back in a husky whisper. Inwardly, I nodded approvingly and patted myself for having some effects on him too. And also for highlighting my lips to capture his attention there. Wasn't I clever one?

"Guess who?" I asked, my eyes glancing at his lips he moistened them with his propositionally artsy tongue. I splayed my hands on his chest well hello there sparks, I dragged them up to his shoulders.

"The one and only Avi Shukla" he answered with a small smile yanking my hands down and capturing them behind my back in their warm lock. Then pulled me up by the other hand for a swoon-worthy and much-anticipated kiss. I fought, wiggling my hands out from his hold and grabbed his face roughly responding with the matching vigor. At once our lips melted in unbreakable and delectable sync. I tiptoed to get the proper angle and more access, he understood he read my intentions, instantly his head dipped down and his strong hand clasped my neck giving me the much better angle.

Running short of air bloody damn fucking air we drew back. God this is best this is the best thing, I feel so warmed up no heater could ever provide me with this heat and warmness in my body.

My hands held his cheeks, I opened my eyes and already found his eyes open and glued to my face. Any signs if I needed whether he liked me was proven already by that fond expression that screamed HANDS DOWN NOTHING MATTERS! I was the best sight for him! The only one that could amaze him, that could have his attention. The only one that matters and was made for him.

Such kinda raw emotions scared me with fear of never reaching him but when I felt my throat heavy with a lump and eyes misty with some never felt emotion, I knew I haven't fallen far from him, either.

I gave a quick peck. Then stepped back laughing when I noticed my lipstick was smeared across his mouth. I rubbed it off with the sleeve of my hoodie, then took his hand and settled back on the step yanking him.

"Now it is clear enough you're head over heels for me," I said smugly catching my breath and getting used to this unfamiliar feeling.

I interlaced our fingers

"Unfortunately" he agreed squeezing my hand.

"Say it to me" I almost requested, my head turned to him at once.

Looking through my lashes I know, I looked ridiculous with my lipstick gone now but I can't help myself from grinning proudly seeing the remnants of it right there on his lips. Cute plus sexy, I bit my lip shifting towards him, my right side pressed against his left side.

Nothing feels better than this

God, he made me act such a girly! I can't help myself from gravitating towards or just stop staring at him with hearts in my eyes.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked cockily having an eyebrow -raised and eyes roaming over my face with adoration? It's hard to read that poker face. He's a closed book that I wanted to tear open not to read it but to add mine.

"That you love me duh," I said with an obviously tone and a roll of my eyes, on the inside I was holding my heart out to him.

"What about you?" He put the ball right back in my court smoothly.

That clever bastard

That clever gorgeous bastard

Ugh

"I- I- um I love you ..physically" I almost confessed, my hand reached rubbing the left lipstick off from the corner of his lips with my thumb.

"Really?" He caught my wrist and my efforts of deflecting. He eyed me with the intent and studying and analyzing me kinda look.

My favorite one the one that leave me gasping for breaths

"Okay... I love you too physically".. he told playing along then kissed my nose quickly, awkwardly, and shyly. Looks like I wasn't the only one who couldn't hold themselves from reaching for the other one and snogging each other faces off.

I grabbed the back of his neck when he was about to lean back.

Gathering myself I said,
"Are you sure? I have more baggage than a baggage claim at the airport do you still want to love me? you know... physically.." I withdrew my eyes away, feeling less confident for the first time in my life. Not brave enough to face what he had to say. I felt cold all over and a weird churning in my stomach made me sick from fear. The fear of losing something that I didn't even have. But I wanted to change that. I wanted to have it, keep it and never leave it away from me.

He lifted my chin by his finger making me look at him I pulled my eyes back to him reluctantly

"I have been told I am strong enough to carry bags. There's some extra strength in me to hold you as well as your baggage" he said without missing a beat.

When I didn't say anything too dumbstruck by his honest reply.

I noticed his resolve wavered and his face fell, "was it too cheesy?" He asked nervously. "I am not good at this ...in talking feelings stuff.." he admitted rubbing his neck embarrassedly.

I blinked then chuckling fisted his sweatshirt and hid my face in the crook of his neck breathing in, feeling too shy but not enough to drop a sweet kiss there, his arms tightened around me. I said, "for someone who isn't good at this, you already have me right in the palm of your hand" I turned his hand front, pointed in the middle of his palm.

Slowly, I moved my finger on it drawing a heart shape right in the middle of it.

He observed tilting his head as if he could actually see it

"Here it's yours now" I said shifting back and also looking at it properly, gripping his wrist nervously.

Chapter 35 is visible now 😓