You made me feel something I can't put into words

"How the fuck this happened??" I asked glaring at him, could only make out his head on the pillow whilst the rest of the body was under the blanket.

"I told you already, I will not repeat myself" Laksh turned muffling his sneeze in the tissue. He balled it and threw it in the nearest bin.

Which was overflowing.

Or almost overflowing.

My jaw ticked at it.

The room was reeking of sicknesses.

He fucking got ill the very next day when I asked him to tutor me.

He dared to fall ill on be!

Whatever happens, hell or heaven, he would always choose the path of assholer-y and make my life more miserable.

It's not an everyday thing, when a rival asked their opponent to help them. It's not so fucking common. It's derogatory, it's so insulting and this is how he treated my submission?

He threw it back in my face by fucking getting ill !

I had to skip school again today.. just because of him! I was so ready to study! To take that shit real seriously this time.

But no this asshole had to spill water over my plans by deciding to get sick today.

I couldn't stop myself from marching to his home... I didn't know his address so I called.. you note this. 'I' fucking Called him.

Rivals do not call their opponent.

Either it's him calling me or nothing.

It's never otherwise it shouldn't be ever otherwise.

On top of it, he didn't tell me the address he said he didn't like visits during illness.

Like hell, he won't!

I got the address from Kavya.

And I was here

"Argh.. just get up- get up so that I could kick you and you fall back I want to fucking see you fall then get hurt or simply die" I yelled shooting daggers at him.

He covered his ears, "your voice is so annoying. " He complained, coughing.

"Why did you decide to roam around when it was raining heavily!" I questioned like I lost count of how many times it was.

Yesterday night it was raining nonstop and with being cold weather, a person who had lost his mind would decide to walk on roads without an umbrella.

"I wasn't roaming around-" he sneezed, fumbling for a tissue box which now ran out of tissues and that made me more furious. I hurled another box at him from across the room.

Apparently, It was rude to go to a sick person's house empty-handed said, by Kavya. She advised me to carry a sick person's gift. Don't even ask me what is that... but it's kinda a box that had Kleenex, sanitizer, and all that things that one should never call them as gifts.

His room was big and so empty. There were two racks of books and no photos. It did have furniture... actually it was well furnished with the required stuff but it just felt so not personal. And the most annoying thing was light?? no natural light in the room. How people were fine with having their rooms without any window, a balcony or anything that connects it with the outside world. I feel so suffocated when I don't find any glimpse of nature. It feels so artificial and compact.

When I barged in his room I had flicked off all the lights being the first most thing, earning a groan in protest from him which subsided to no words indicating he was really unwell.

His parents weren't at home and it was just him and his older brother with headphones on. Who opened the door and left to his business without any greet and introduction, I was left by myself to find his room and with thoughts of robbing his house.

Because someone had to teach that boy(older brother) a term called responsibility. In fact, I closed the door feeling a bit responsible thinking of a creepy man lurking right outside their house. Waiting for careless people residing in to leave the door open and making his entrance pretty godddamn easy.

Heck, I could be a criminal if I didn't announce I was here to meet his brother.

Which he didn't give a damn about.

"What were you doing out anyway? enjoying the rain oh how does it feel to get wet and sick? That's what you're looking for?" I said folding my arms, shoving in my hands before they reach for something else to throw at him.

"Don't shout you're only increasing my headache... I went out to get a book!" He told closing his eyes droopily all this argument was making him tired.

Wasn't helping his condition much.

"What book?" I asked narrowing my eyes at him. There were so many books already here, what was he thinking to build a personal library?

He pointed at the table. I picked it, the cause of all this ruckus.

'A complete guide for using prompts to teach individuals'

Oh

I glared at him now more witheringly.

"If you're trying to make me feel guilty or mushy over your foolishness and then you failed a big-time" I clutched the book tightly minutes away from tearing its pages or treasuring it to my secret safe." If you thought I would be nice to you because of this act then you're so wrong. I am a bitch nothing gets past me easily, especially this kinda nonsense" I told dropping the book 'carefully'

"I didn't see any point for this big explanation, I simply meant my brother needed this book so I went to get it" he drawled.

My head snapped to him.

He was fucking smiling

"I will light you up! So shut up your mouth" I warned him.

"Why are you always so angry?.." He asked then started, coughing.

I walked over to him, "because of people like you who forget umbrella when it's clear raining outside? This should be an act of crime. It should be illegal to walk out in rain without an umbrella." I looked at him found, he was laughing in the mid of coughing.

"you finding me amusing Laksh?" I said handing him a tissue.

He took it sobering up and then answered, 'I always found you amusing"

Well, what should I do with this honesty??

Anything aside from blushing like a fool, I scolded myself

"Anyway, when I will get alright tomorrow and we can start the study. For someone who didn't like to be tutored by their rival you looked quite excited about it?"

"I am not excited.." I denied weakly.

I am just looking for an escape.

Don't get me wrong. I am grateful for these people to come forth to help me. I am working on to know them and be their friends like I was before.

But it's not a one day work.

I had to come to terms with the fact and no matter how sad it was, but the truth was That, I was alone, I was by myself.

Step by step I will move forward. I can't expect everything to get alright or feel okay suddenly like it happened out of nowhere.

And if studying can be a time being escape then I should use it.

Right?

It was only studying and nothing else so I don't think I was doing something wrong

He looked at me, his cheeks and nose were red due to fever and his dark brown hair was messy. He shouldn't appear more than okayish in this disheveled state.

It wasn't fair.

"We will meet tomorrow," he said taking his eyes off me. He mumbled and laid back dismissing me by covering his face with the blanket.

I don't like a sluggish rival!

I should go.. who cares if he's ill and practically alone . His real brother didn't even bother about his health why should I care?

"Did you take the medicine?" I asked to get over it. If he did then I am going.. bye-bye.

Paracetamol or anything could make him okay. That's fine. He's 18 years old, older enough to manage himself.

When he didn't reply.

"Did you take the medicine!" I yelled.

He didn't respond. I was a bit worried. Like a human worried for human kinda way. The law of humanity you know?

"Hey" I poked the supposed should be the head of his, covered in the blanket.

When he didn't convey anyway about the medicine because that's all I WANTED TO KNOW FOR GOD'S SAKE!!

I pulled the blanket off and found him sleeping, unconscious, fainted, or dead!!??

I touched his cheek and it was hot. The guy was burning like meat on a griller.

What the fuck??

Why meat??

That should be the least of my concern now.

I checked the forehead once again to be sure.

Shit, he really had a high fever!

I checked once again, if he was breathing, alive, and kicking? My finger near his nostrils. Feeling warmed fast breaths. I sighed in relief. Then jerked up freaking out What to do what to do now??.

I tried to wake him up, "Laksh, Laksh, fucking Laksh wake up!"

He mumbled incoherently something in sleep that my hand was itching to take out my mobile and record it . And later on, listen to it and crack the words.

I pulled myself back to serious matters in my hands. I need to bring his body's temperature down. Or wake him up and ask did he take the medicine?

He must haven't, considering the condition...

I looked around the room for anything to be used as a compressor. Nothing just books!! ugh, what use are they of now?

Okay calm down everything's alright just fucking deal with it like a patient adult

What the fuck is 'patience' now?

I don't have a patient bone in my body. I breathed in and then coughed what the hell was I getting sick too??

I can't afford to get sick

Oh no no no

I am panicking

I want to kick Laksh for landing me in this state. For falling unconscious on me! but I can't kick a sick person and also not when that person wasn't in his senses

That was so low of me

I turned to him again. His forehead was covered with perspiration. The condition appeared to be serious I can't waste time on my unnecessary thoughts.

I took out my coat hang it on a hanger stand and then tied my hair up. So let's get to work now.

*

I managed to find something from his closet to be used as a compressor. From the bathroom, I brought the tub and set all the arrangements on the adjacent table.

And, now was to change his clothes

At least his shirt, as it was soaked in sweat and that wasn't a good thing. I am being too confident over myself to think I could do that alone. Lift someone who weighs more than me?!!?

Haha who was I?

Should probably call his brother?

But I was a bit hesitant to leave him alone and come and found something worse happened to him. Like he was trying to get a glass of water and then fall over it. Or banged his head to a glass table, breaking it and the glass pieces broke out or suddenly the fan fell over him or earthquake came or worse, out of nowhere whole building sets on fire...

'Yikes I am overthinking'...a novel by me

I told myself what I am doing right now is something I would have done for any human being.

Any sick human being.

"Okay, Laksh" I spoke, to calm my nerves as I touched his shirt hesitantly.

"I would have done for anyone like any animal if it wore shirts yeah okay... Let's open your shirt first and then"I stopped myself before I started describing what I was doing. Which was so weird and... just weird to all levels!!

God my cheeks are on fire.

Eeekkk

I opened the buttons of his shirt carefully focusing on them.. not anywhere else.
not anywhere else at all!

Holy shit he has abs!!

His stomach I touched it looked pretty...

I stopped myself

...focus focus!!! Fucking focus!! what's wrong with you?? I hissed at my hand, " behave yourself, be like a good hand!" I scolded them.

Sanity left the chat

When I had made it to down at the hem of his blue shirt.

"Who wore shirts during Winters???
Too cool to wear sweaters huh??
Now go get ill Ha!" I whispered under my breath.

I slowly looked at him expecting a smirk laughing at me rather found a tired unresponsive face with lightly breathing.

It fastened my speed and concern

Now how to take it off.

I sighed.

This is awkward

This is so awkward

I should call his brother, I thought for the second time now

But I glanced back at him

Fuck.. he looked pale.

I removed my boots then got up on the bed sat alongside his body. I leaned over and tapped his cheek nudging him to be awake and be a bit cooperative for Lord's sake!!

"Laksh, sit up please" I called, shaking him gently.

He opened his eyes slowly it was half closed so I bent down to get in the range of his vision, "sit up" I requested.

He blinked and then closed his eyes again

"Laksh fucking open your eyes!" I slapped his cheek not tightly but enough to have him awake for a few seconds.

"I said get up! don't make me repeat you sloth" I pulled his arm placing it on my shoulder, "Get up!" He lifted lazily uttering gibberish and as I was trying to have him support against the headboard, he fell front on me.

Ahhhh!!

My arms shoot in front placing on the headboard for support to hold ourselves in place. Oh well, he was completely resting on me. With his head in my neck lolling down which I placed it in place. His breathing was tickling my back hair and my heart thumped loudly by the so ahem position.

I literally could smell him.

Faint cologne and him

I shut my eyes

If I fell ill too ..then he's dead!! He will get fine first and the very second I'll kill him.

Okay let's just get the shirt out then shove him under the blanket and slap the compressor on his forehead and holler for his brother to get his shit together and fucking take care of his younger bro!!

Slowly not letting his weight pull me down I balanced myself and brought my hand on his shirt dragging it down with my hands from his back. I bit my lip I won't fucking think of how so wrong it appeared! It was a human to human care.

Fuck it! I won't do this to any human.

This is the last human on earth I am doing this.

I lift his arm to take out the sleeve while keeping his head on my shoulder before it fell. What the hell! why was he so heavy??

When I had taken the second sleeve out from the arm wearily, it was a Hercules task. Trust me. With his breathing right under my ear and his big head is gonna numb my left shoulder, I swear.

I pulled the shirt out mentally cheering for my hard work and the very moment the door opened.

"Laksh-sh-" My head snapped to the voice.

His fucking brother made his fucking grand entry at not so perfect timing.

His eyes widened he literally froze looking at the scene in front.

I get you dude..totally in every way

My face burned like a furnace, "I can explain- " I lost my balance falling backward on the bed with of course Laksh's semiconscious body following me. His face landed on my chest, "or cannot" I said looking up at the fan, exhaling. Kill me already!?

••

Laksh's brother glowered at me which he didn't have any right to, with folded arms he said, "you looked pretty harmless I didn't know you do this kinda thing"

I bit the inside of my cheek so embarrassed to even speak anything, "You were at the wrong time, like I said I was trying to help him"

"By taking off his shirt??"

"Of course! It was drenched with sweat and did you check his body temperature he was burning with fever" we I mean actually him, Laksh's brother placed my!!! prepared compressor on Laksh's forehead and gave him medicine too, my!!! medicine that I brought in my sick person's gift.

Bloody hypocrite

"You could have told me you know, I wasn't living in a different country," He said sarcastically.

"Oh yeah, you weren't? then why weren't you already there helping him?" I retorted back folding my arms.

He looked guilty. Take that, asshole's brother also an asshole.

He appeared not much older just maybe by two or three years, I reckon

He messed his hair giving out a resigned sigh, "look, just go"

What!!

"Are you fucking alright? I won't leave him until I know he's in the okay state not to be dependent on anyone let alone a negligence brother like you" I said, what I felt without any hesitation.

"You don't know anything. Get Out!" he ordered sternly.

I tilted my head staring at him unfazed by his disrespectful manner, "no"

He looked taken aback by my audacity.

"Seriously.." he chuckled in disbelief.

I walked to Laksh's door peeping in to know if he was awake.

I remembered the third step was to make porridge for the sick person.

"Do you know how to make porridge? "I asked his brother whose name I still didn't ask or I don't care to, because this was the first and the last meeting of ours.

We were stood right outside of Laksh's room.

He gave me a confused look as if why would I ask this suddenly.

"Your brother ate something? Hasn't he?" I said rolling my eyes.

"Go make Khichdi for him after I know he's properly fed and well-rested I'll leave," I said. I don't know why it irked and worried me leaving Laksh to his careless brother. But I knew both of them didn't know how to take care of a sick person.

Boys

So careless when it comes to health.

"Our maid made something I don't know what it is..." he said moving to the Kitchen way I guess. I followed him.

The kitchen was nice. I liked the big Kitchen I always had loved cooking so it was better when a kitchen was long and well equipped. Me and my mom used to work together.
I cleared my throat feeling a heavy lump in it.

"See this is " he showed a big bowl with Paneer sabji "I can give him.. so now you go"

I shot him a disbelief look, "he's sick he can't eat it!"

"Something happened to his teeth also?" He asked pretty seriously.

"Bro you know how to make a proper like for a sick person that kinda Khichadi?" I asked already knew the answer so I got in and get to the task of making it.

"You're his girlfriend?" He asked observing me carefully, suspicious I will run away with a coffee maker machine or something.

I looked up putting the lid to the cooker after putting the ingredients in it.

"I am his Rival" I answered promptly.

"What's your name?" He asked after moments.

"Avi," I said facing him. Hearing my name brought a smirk to his face and his eyes light up as if remembering something.

I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously.

"What's it?" I asked.

He shook his head raising his hands showing as no harm, he stepped back, "well Avi I will leave it to you then. You better take care of my brother"

I frowned watching his retreating figure. What's with him now?
First, he wanted me out and now he was leaving his Kitchen to me?

He was an odd person nothing else could explain this behavior

I shook my head turning to my work.

I put the bowl on the table after preparing, sat on the bed looking at him.

He was asleep

I checked the temperature with the back of my hand. It was better now than before. Fever still there but not that high. I took out the thermometer from his mouth. Reading the temperature confirming my guess.

Okay, I am leaving the porridge he can warm it up and stuff himself when he woke up. That's it, nursing over for today!

As I was getting up I felt my hand being grabbed. I looked down was he awake?

I glanced at him he was sound asleep must have done in sleep. I slowly unfree it. And then stared at him. God, he was handsome. He looked like a calm prince. His facial structures were chiseled yet the overall picture was so innocent that I cannot help myself from not leaning in and kissing on his forehead.

Fuck

what did I do??

I shot up, immediately grabbed my things, and sprinted off.

He might have opened his eyes when I had pulled back, shit...

,
••