Chapter 41: Date

"For future reference, I only like blindfolds in the bedroom," I said.

To the side of me, Ed chuckled. He squeezed my hand as we shuffled slowly down a ramp. Metal clanged with each tentative step I took, the pointy heels of my stilettos unsteady against the grill-like structure beneath me.

"Noted," Ed replied. "We'll recycle this one later."

"Do you mind?" Mark's dry voice came from a metre or so behind.

Heat flooded my cheeks. Hopefully it wasn't noticeable in the dark, or it could at least be blamed on the chilly December air.

"You could have warned me Mark was in earshot," I said under my breath.

"Much more fun to embarrass you. Okay, step coming up."

"How high is the step?" I asked.

"I don't know, a foot?"

"A foot!"

"Maybe not a foot. Just normal step height. Here." His hand left mine, and suddenly his leather-gloved fingers were wrapped around my bare ankle. Lifting my leg from the ground, he guided it onto a raised platform.

Once he'd stood again, I clutched his forearm arm to steady myself and hauled my body up the step.

"Wow." Ed breathed off a gentle laugh. "It's like you've forgotten how to work your limbs."

"Maybe you should wear the blindfold later," I snapped back, knowing Hell would freeze over before Ed gave up any of his control in the bedroom. "See how you like it."

"Uhuh. Okay, I need to get the door. Stay there."

Like I'd have run off while blindfolded.

I waited, tipping my head from side to side in an attempt to identify surrounding noise. Apart from distant hustle and bustle, generic traffic, and faint Christmas music, all of which confirmed what I already knew—we were outside—I couldn't pick up any sounds that would serve as clues to our location.

"Ready?" Ed wrapped a firm arm around my waist and steered me forwards.

Cosy warmth replaced the arctic air, and the brassy clink of my heels dulled into a softer thud as metal gave way to wood. Where were we? Judging by the silence, it wasn't a restaurant—or anywhere public.

"Can I take the blindfold off yet?" I asked.

"Not yet. Just a bit further."

Ed's chest brushed my shoulder as he leaned across me, and a waft of delicious cologne teased my nostrils. Then a click echoed through the room, swiftly followed by a blast of cold air again. The bitter wind ruffled my hair and skidded across my naked calves.

"Hands." Ed grabbed my wrists and planted my palms onto some kind of cylindrical bar.

Freezing metal assaulted my skin and drew a sharp gasp from me, but I looped my fingers around the structure nonetheless, welcoming the first bit of stability since my blind walk began. If I'd have known there'd be so much outdoor travelling on this surprise date, I'd have worn gloves.

"Okay," Ed said, "I'm taking it off now."

With one easy tug at the knot behind my head—another trick I'd seen him perform in the bedroom—the fabric fell away from my eyes.

I blinked as vision returned to me. Familiar landmarks stared back. The Eye stood proudly on the other side of The Thames, lit up in blue and surrounded by trees adorned in festive lights. Its reflection illuminated the river with bright cobalt ripples, and it wasn't until I glanced down at my numb hands wrapped around a railing, water below my feet, that I realised we were on a boat.

Spinning slowly, I let my sight catch up with my other senses. A table with two place settings sat inside a candlelit cabin made entirely of glass. Apart from the captain at the helm of the boat, who paid us no attention whatsoever, we were completely alone. No security. No crowds. Yet still outside in central London.

"I wanted to take you on a real date," Ed said. "In public, where we could be ourselves and not worry about being seen."

Finally my roaming eyes landed on his tall figure. Standing there in his knee-length woollen coat, tailored to perfection around his broad shoulders and lean waist, with his hands clasped in front of him and the tip of his nose tinted pink from the cold, he looked like he'd stepped straight off the cover of a fashion magazine's winter edition.

"So I thought a boat was a fun way to do that," he continued when I didn't say anything. "Nobody can get near us when we're cruising down a river."

I swallowed the tightness suffocating my throat. Could he be any more perfect? Even when I'd reassured him that I was happy integrating into his life, he still tried to maintain some of my previous normality. Still tried to switch his ordinary for mine.

"Ed, I don't know what to say."

"Makes a change."

Stepping closer, he curled his fingers around the railing on either side of me, leather squeaking against metal.

"Or are you about to tell me you get seasick?"

That finally triggered a laugh from me. A white cloud of warm air spilled from my mouth and dissolved between us.

"Nope. You're safe."

"That's a relief."

Still smiling, I twisted in his arms to take in the view again. The boat had started to move, inching away from the pier.

"I never thought we'd be able to do something like this," I said.

His icy lips grazed my cheek. "I can't tell you we'll have a normal relationship, because we won't. I don't want you to feel like you're missing out on those normal things, though. Dates in public. Surprises. Christmas outings."

Despite the frosty air, fuzzy warmth bubbled through me. Tears swelled in my throat and stung my eyes, until the twinkling fairy lights across the river blended into a blurred stretch of white, red, and green. I blinked away the sting, and a lone tear trickled down my face, catching the wind and almost immediately drying.

"You crying?" Ed murmured against my ear.

"Happy tears."

I turned to face him again and wound my arms around his waist. The soft wool of his coat caressed my fingertips as I gazed up at him. Blues eyes, brimming with affection, clung to mine, just like they had a thousand times before, only tonight nothing complicated diluted their impact on me. No deceit, or games, or hurt. No banter, or fear, or barriers. Just us. Guards down, hearts open.

To think, if I hadn't ignored my pride and gone to his charity concert, if I hadn't taken a chance on the PR job or risked rejection by admitting I wanted to date for real, we might not be stood here now. So much had happened during the ten months we'd known each other, but it had ultimately led to this. Never had I felt happier, nor more excited, about what the future held.

"Tell me what you're thinking." Ed caught another teardrop on the pad of his thumb and stroked it away.

"I'm thinking about how much I love you."

Surprise flickered across his face, brief enough to be instantly softened into a smile, but still noticeable.

"I love you, too."

Another wave of warmth rushed through me. He'd promised to say it back, but until the words left his mouth, I hadn't realised how much it would mean to me.

"Your poker face failed you there." I couldn't help but grin. "First time for everything."

His index finger pressed into my lips, the leather silencing me. "You've got no idea how long I've been waiting to say it, and yet you still caught me off-guard."

He slid his hand beneath my hair to cradle the back of my neck, eyes not leaving mine the whole time.

"Charity concert," I said.

"What about it?"

"That's how long I've been waiting."

"Oh." The corner of his mouth tugged up. "Berlin. I win."

Laughing, I tried to pinch his side but barely penetrated the thick wool. "Is it a competition now?"

"Isn't everything a competition with us?"

And to prove his point, he smothered my comeback with a kiss.

*

The small boat didn't have a kitchen, so Ed had arranged for food to be delivered to us. Twenty minutes into our river cruise, we temporarily docked. Mark was waiting on the bank and passed over foil-covered plates of chicken chasseur and duck à l'Orange. The same dishes we'd eaten during our first ever meal together. From the same restaurant.

Unlike then, however, the atmosphere over dinner was more relaxed. Still flirty, yet with a comfortable familiarity between us. Flowing conversation, but on a deeper level. He even wore the same suit, except now I knew what every inch of his body looked like beneath the enticing layers of expensive fabric.

We were the same people, eating the same food, but with so much more between us.

Including those three terrifying words.

"Did you mean it when you said Berlin?" I asked.

On the opposite side of the small table, Ed's eyes briefly darted up to meet mine. "Yes. Months of denial followed, but still."

I watched him drag a triple cooked chip through the chasseur sauce without elaborating. Curiosity clawed at me.

"Why Berlin?" I asked. "That was a filthy night together. There wasn't anything remotely romantic about it."

One dark brow arched. "Speak for yourself."

I wasn't letting him fool me that easily.

"Maybe we have different ideas of romance," I said. "I didn't find it particularly romantic when you told me how much you wanted to fuck my tight arsehole."

I waited for him to flinch in surprise. He didn't. Instead, he rubbed his thumb over the corner of his mouth and met my gaze with a light chuckle.

"What can I say?" His eyes twinkled. "I fell in love with your arse."

Shaking my head, I bit back my smile. If he wanted to be flippant about it, two could play that game.

"Now that I think about it, maybe it's Teddy Stone I fell in love with at that concert. Isn't that a common side effect of seeing you perform?"

"Nah. It's the music. You don't listen to it, so you can't use that as your excuse."

"Right..." My smile broke through. "Okay. So being serious, why Berlin?"

"No, you're right. It wasn't romantic." He set down his cutlery and leaned back in his chair, flicking open the top button of his shirt. "I think that's what made me realise I loved you, though. You were sleeping next to me, and I was looking at you, thinking about the friendship. The chemistry. How I'd felt comfortable enough with you to let the night play out like that. We'd only known each other a matter of weeks and yet I knew we had something special. I wanted you in my life permanently."

My heart thumped at double speed, food in front of me momentarily forgotten. For so long we'd fought this—sometimes for good reason, other times for nothing but pride. If we could go back to the start, we'd probably both do things differently. No deceit. More trust. Better communication. Despite that, the long journey here made the destination feel twice as sweet. One thing was for sure: I'd never take the relationship for granted.

"It feels good saying it out loud, though," Ed said. "Especially for the first time. Bigger rush than being on stage."

Apparently he didn't remember saying it previously, then. I'd not brought it up during the conversation with Lacey because it wasn't appropriate, and mentioning it afterwards would only have put the heat back onto me and my inability to express my feelings.

"What?" Ed's brow furrowed. "You're not going to tell me I've said it in my sleep or something, are you?"

"No. Not in your sleep."

His frown deepened. "Sex?"

"You said it when you were telling me about Lacey's pregnancy."

Silence stretched between us as he stared at me. Although his eyes remained fixed on mine, I could almost see him mentally replaying that conversation in his head, searching for the place he'd let it slip. Realisation seemed to dawn on him as he scraped a hand over his jaw.

"Crap. I'm sorry. That was a really bad time to say it."

"During an argument with Mac was a really bad time for me to say it, too," I offered with a small smile. "Don't worry. The second time was perfect."

He returned my smile and picked up his fork again. "So, charity concert?"

I nodded. "I think it was a combination of seeing you in the flesh for the first time in six weeks, while also knowing I was watching you put on a performance. It was a version of you. A public-facing version that felt frustrating to witness when I knew layers of you that nobody else in that arena did. I suppose it made me realise what we'd shared and what I'd lost. How much you meant to me and how scared I was that I'd never feel it again."

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. "You know... I never thought I'd be able to replicate the high I experience when I'm on stage. The rush. The adrenaline. But when I'm with you, I feel like nothing can bring me down. And it's better than being on stage—because it's permanent."

*

After dinner, we returned to the outside deck where we huddled together for warmth. Snippets of Christmas tunes faded in and out as we passed restaurants and bars, laughter carried from the banks to the boat, and landmarks glowed with festive lighting. It was so beautiful. The perfect evening.

"You know how else we've come full circle?" Ed asked me.

"Mm?"

"Becca." Humid air breezed over my forehead with his tired sigh.

I tightened my arm around his waist and nestled closer into his side. "Maybe it's better this way. You're still supporting the charity, and you can nurture a genuine passion. Think of how many people you'll help. What a role model you'll be."

"I know," he conceded. "I'm looking forward to that part. Raising awareness. Removing the stigma. Far more hands-on than a donation, and more meaningful, too. I just wish it wasn't with Becca."

"You've proved you can put your differences aside for a common cause. It'll be fine."

"Hm. Sometimes I wish I'd never met her. She's caused far too much stress in my life."

"But then you wouldn't have met me, either." I nudged my hip against his and tilted my head up to look at him.

His face split into a grin. "True. And where would I be without you?"

"Probably exactly where you are now. Destroying the charts. Featuring in fantasies. Splashed across magazines, posters, social media..."

"But I wouldn't be as happy."

And neither would I. 

***

Thank you for reading :) xx

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You can probably tell we're near the end now. Thank you again for all the support throughout the book. It means a lot to me when readers are willing to wait for new chapters each week. I honestly love this pair so much and had a lot of fun writing them -- it's probably the fastest story I've ever written. And at 120K words, one of the longest too! 

I'll try to upload the last chapter before the new year :)