Chapter 31: Practice

"You know... It's been a very long time since I was someone's boyfriend. I hope I don't suck at it."

Ed's hesitant statement hovered in the pitch-black air above us. We lay in bed together, my head on his chest, his fingers stroking patterns along my shoulder blades.

My lips curved against his smooth skin. "I hope so, too."

He chuckled, but the genuine fear in his voice pulled me closer to offer reassurance. I looped a leg over his thigh and extended my arm across his toned stomach. Changing position triggered a stretch of pain through various muscles, yet the haze of affection managed to overpower it.

"You won't suck at it," I said. "Besides, it's been a while for me, as well. I can barely remember what it's supposed to be like."

"Was he a good boyfriend?" Ed asked quietly. His palm drifted up to the nape of my neck, fingers threading through my hair. "Mike?"

"I guess. But it ended for a reason. I'm trying really hard not to compare myself to Lacey, so you should do the same and not worry about Mike."

"Hm." Ed's hand slipped to my chin, tilting my face up towards him. He kissed me once, a gentle peck on the lips. "You don't need to worry about Lacey."

An unfamiliar awkwardness followed, spurred by the way he sighed against my mouth in regret.

"But we do need to have a conversation about her at some point. I just need to speak to her first."

I swallowed down the tightness in my throat. "Ed, it's fine. What happened between you and her can stay between you and her. Plus you've got an NDA so that's an even bigger reason not to feel obliged to tell me about it."

"I know," he said slowly, "but I don't want to keep anything from you. And you deserve to know what happened."

What happened. The words sent a chill up my spine. No breakup was easy, but Ed and Lacey remained friends. Surely it wasn't that bad?

"Whatever happened, you've both moved on."

"From the relationship, yes. Certain things stay with you, though." His voice was so quiet and pained that my heart ached in sympathy.

I nuzzled closer to his chest, determined to prove that he wouldn't scare me off, that he could tell me anything. When he drew me into another kiss, I pressed harder against him, half-straddling his thigh as I sucked hard at his lips, desperate to convey how much I cared.

A groan rumbled from his chest, and a broad palm skimmed down my back. Familiar heat bloomed in my stomach, regret tinging my words when I spoke.

"I'm too sore for sex."

He nipped at my bottom lip. "I know."

The tip of his nose brushed mine as he briefly broke away, and I shifted against his leg, moaning when I felt his erection hot and hard against my thigh.

"And my jaw is really sore, but I could probably still—"

"Relax." He grinned against my mouth. "I know you usually hate kissing, but I happen to quite enjoy it."

Our lips fused once more, somehow lazy yet dirty at the same time. When my fingers tightened in his hair, a deep growl vibrated from his throat.

"Don't do that... Else I'll change my mind about going easy on you."

But his threat was empty, and seconds later he'd pulled me closer to his chest, his head resting next to mine, our steady heartbeats lulling each other to sleep.

*

The next day, Gabby called by the hotel, and we met in the restaurant downstairs to catch up over hot chocolate.

"You're so organised," I said, shaking my head at the collection of bags surrounding her feet. "We're only a week into November and you've already started Christmas shopping?"

She spooned a mouthful of marshmallows between her lips, closing her eyes in ecstasy as she chewed.

"Had the day off so thought I'd start," she said after swallowing. "December is always busy at work."

"Have you got time off over your birthday?" I asked.

She wiped her mouth with her napkin and nodded. "Couple of days. I actually needed to talk to you about it. I'm thinking of having a get-together and wondered if you wanted to bring Teddy. You know, now you guys are officially together and all."

Guilt gnawed at my heart. Thanks to my late visit to his room last night, we were indeed officially together, but that hadn't been the case before yesterday. Gabby didn't know that. Lying to the media and strangers by staging dates was one thing; lying to my friends was another entirely.

By a stroke of good timing, I'd dodged a potential crisis of conscience. Hopefully I'd never have to withhold the truth from her again, and bringing Ed to her party would be the perfect way to merge both of my worlds in a safe environment.

Mostly safe, anyway.

"I assume Becca will be there," I said.

Gabby bit her lip. "Yeah. And, um, Mike. But only if Teddy's coming! If Teddy can't come, I'll just say girls only."

I nodded and offered her a smile of gratitude. "I'll ask. There are always a lot of rules, and I'm not sure how many apply to private parties."

Stirring the remaining cream into her hot chocolate, Gabby lifted her eyes to meet mine. "Sure. I can send you a guestlist if you need it." Bless her. "But it'll be small. Just me, you, Char, Becca, Mike, Holly, and Mac."

"Mac?" I froze with my mug partway towards my lips.

Gabby wrinkled her brow. "Yeah. That's okay, right? You guys made up?"

She didn't know the details around why we'd fallen out in the first place thanks to all the legal restrictions involved. Just another secret I'd had to keep from her...

"Yeah," I said. "We're good. Just don't know how Ed would feel about it. Two men who I've... You know."

I hoped that would wash with her while I spoke to Helen about the implications of Ed and Mac at a private party together.

"Teddy Stone jealous?" Gabby's lips lifted into an amused smirk. "I'd love to see it."

I laughed and shook my head. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

Although, the more I thought about it, the more I started to doubt it. Just last night Ed had alluded to a chink of insecurity in his confident armour. Jealousy aside, I knew he had personal issues with Mac, too, and understandably so.

Still, he was an expert at hiding his true feelings. As long as I didn't drag him to the party against his wishes, it'd probably be fine.

"How's Holly these days?" I asked Gabby.

Holly had been on Gabby's course at uni. We'd met many times on nights out, and while she was a nice enough girl, she'd earned herself a reputation for unpredictability—great when you wanted a fun experience at 2am, but not so great when you were dating an A-list celebrity.

"Holly will be fine," Gabby said, reading between the lines. "She's mellowed a lot and works at the BBC now, so she's used to seeing famous faces. But I'll test the waters with her, and if she seems a bit too—"

"Gabby, it's fine." I interrupted her with a nonchalant wave of my hand. "It's your birthday. You invite whoever you want. I'll speak to Helen and Ed, and they can decide whether they're comfortable or not. It's not your responsibility."

She bit her lip, eyes darting between her mug and me. "I know, Soph. But you're my best friend. I want your boyfriend to be involved in our lives."

"I appreciate that. His life isn't normal, though. These are just the hoops we have to jump through to pretend it is."

*

I bobbed my head in time to the catchy tune as I read over the list of appearances that Zola had forwarded across. I missed Zola, and I missed my job. At least I still had some say in whether I wanted to accompany Ed to these events as part of our stunt, although we were planning to come clean to Helen and Mark during our morning briefing.

Once they learned that our relationship had progressed from staged to real, I suspected my career might come to a permanent end. After all, that had been the reason we'd walked away from a romance when I first started here.

The music in my left ear suddenly stopped as the headphone was plucked out. With an unimpressed frown, I spun my chair round and swung my eyes up to Ed, who'd snuck through the conference room door behind me unnoticed.

"I was enjoying that."

"Better not be Derulo again." He tugged the other earphone free and dropped it onto my lap.

I twisted my lips into an angelic smile. "Not this time. I've directed my obsessions elsewhere. Don't worry."

His blue eyes drank in my mischievous expression. When he reached over me to swipe my phone from the table, I didn't stop him.

Surprise briefly flitted across his face before he shook his head with an amused smile.

"You saw me coming."

"Nope. Say any lyric and I'll tell you the next one. Or..." I said, hooking my fingers through his belt loops to tug him closer, "...Even better, sing me a lyric."

He peered down at me, his mouth screwed into distrust while his eyes danced with amusement—like he couldn't decide whether I was teasing or not.

"You honestly like that song?" He cocked an eyebrow at me.

I stood and looped my arms over his shoulders. His hands slid over my hips, drawing me into the warmth of his body as I nestled my fingers into the soft strands of his dark hair. It felt so liberating to touch him without worrying about mixed signals, complicated emotions, or dubious motives.

"Yes. I've told you before this is the only song of yours I like."

"I assumed you were taking the mick."

I grinned. "Fair enough, but no. I honestly like it. It reminds me of uni, actually. Some of my best nights out were in clubs that played cheesy music."

He rolled his eyes, but his hands remained glued to my hips. "It was one of the first songs I wrote. It's hardly a piece of lyrical genius."

"Bit arrogant to assume all your other songs are."

Mischief sparkled in his blue irises. "You'll pay for that remark later."

"Hm, may still be too sore."

After three days, I'd fully recovered, but he didn't know that, and I enjoyed watching his mind grapple with other ways to assert control that didn't involve fucking me into submission.

One hand trailed up my side, skimming over the dip in my waist, knuckles brushing my shoulder before his fingers grazed my jaw.

"Your mouth seems to be working just fine. I can put you on your knees and make do with that."

Before I could say anything in response, he ducked his head and captured my lips in his.

Despite the banter, the kiss was soft and tender, and every instinct to rile him up drained from my body. We were equal like this, and I'd forgotten how that felt. The power play, sparring and dominance were all fun, but there was something just as consuming about not needing that, about being able to enjoy each other's affection without there being a greater purpose to it.

"Nice to see you're getting some practice in."

We broke apart, Ed's hands remaining firm on my hips for a few moments longer before dropping down to his sides.

The dry remark had come from Helen. Her shrewd eyes ping-ponged between the two of us while she shrugged off her cobalt jacket and hung it over the adjacent seat.

"Morning," I said as casually as I could, turning back to my chair and sinking into it.

Ed's fingertips floated across the nape of my neck before he sat down beside me. His hand found my knee beneath the table.

"I was thinking Soph could get her access to the service lift reinstated," Ed said to Helen.

She folded her arms. "Her access to your suite, you mean?"

Like we'd ever be able to hide anything from her.

"Sure," Ed said as Mark strolled in and closed the door behind him. "You monitor our every movement anyway, so what difference does it make?"

I kicked his ankle beneath the table. Sass wouldn't get us very far.

"Plus," he said, "I'd really like my girlfriend to be able to visit my room every once in a while."

Helen and Mark exchanged a loaded look. They probably already knew our relationship had evolved and were just giving us the illusion of privacy by not outright saying it.

"There's a lot of practice going on, is there?" Mark asked.

"I already made that joke," Helen told him.

"There's no practice." Ed's voice was steady as he glanced across at me. I nodded my consent. "This isn't just a charade for us anymore."

Both of them stared at us for several seconds, their expressions blank. And then Helen held out a hand, palm upwards, to Mark.

"Cough up."

My mouth dropped open in indignation. "You put bets on us?"

"Don't look so horrified, Sophia," Helen said as Mark pulled out his wallet. "It's blindingly obvious that you've been dancing around this for weeks. Mark didn't think either of you would have the balls to take the step."

I swung my focus onto him, arching an unimpressed brow. "Seriously? After the conversation we had in your car?"

"What conversation?" Ed asked.

"Especially after that conversation," Mark said. "But don't worry—that has stayed between us."

"What conversation?" Ed repeated, his voice higher.

I reached across to squeeze his thigh. "Tell you later." I looked back to Helen. "So, I've been reviewing Zola's—"

"Hang on." She held up a hand. "We're not finished with this conversation yet."

"We're not?" I frowned. "What's left to discuss? We were pretending to date and now we're doing it for real."

"Yes, and when you were pretending, we could have a certain level of control and preparation," she said, threading her fingers together on the table. "This may come as a surprise to you, Sophia, but I am not willing to control and script your whole relationship."

"You're right. That does come as a surprise to me."

"We just need an understanding. A certain level of transparency while ensuring minimal disruption to your privacy."

"Okay..." I said slowly, while Ed remained silent next to me. "What kind of understanding?"

She didn't hesitate. "Security is non-negotiable when you're out together, regardless of whether that's a private date or a public one."

"Done," I said. "Next?"

"Really?" She raised a sceptical eyebrow at me. "Changed your tune, haven't you?"

"You've got Mark to thank for that." I tipped my chin towards him. "He helped me see it from a different perspective."

Ed's palm tensed against my knee. When I glanced sideways at him, the stiffness had travelled up his arm, wrapped around his shoulders, and locked his jaw. He pinned Mark with a cold stare.

"Please tell me that does not mean what I think it means." Iciness laced every word, lowering the temperature in the room.

Although he'd directed the question at Mark, I still opened my mouth to respond, unsure what had riled him but keen to diffuse it, nonetheless.

"Sorry." Mark's apology, gruff yet sincere, beat me to it. "I made a call. We'll talk about it later."

While his touch didn't leave my leg, Ed's fingers curled into a tight fist, before quickly relaxing and splaying against my thigh. I set my own hand on top of his, interlocked our fingers, and squeezed.

"Next," Helen said, her eyes bouncing between the two men, "is your own public image, Sophia. We expect a certain standard of behaviour from you."

"So don't lead him astray?" I said it as a joke to lighten the tense atmosphere, but she seemed to take me seriously.

"Yes, but not just that. Your own reputation reflects directly onto Ed. You need to behave like someone is constantly watching you, waiting for you to slip up."

"Understood," I said.

Ed's foot had started to bounce under the table, and I smoothed my thumb over the back of his hand in an attempt to soothe his restlessness.

"And finally, he gets a lot of attention," Helen said with a pointed raise of her brows.

I smiled. "Well, I know that."

"You do, but I'm not sure you realise just how much. This is a conversation for you both to have in private, but it comes back to my previous point: you have to remember you're always being watched. Even if someone is bold enough to proposition him right in front of you, you can't react to it."

Ed cleared his throat and pulled his hand free from mine to scrape through his hair.

"Can we move on, please? I don't want to scare her off when I've only just got her back."

Got her back.

There'd been plenty of reasons why it had taken us so long to get here, but Helen had just outlined three of them. Three fears that had held me back from jumping into a relationship with him sooner: lack of privacy, extreme publicity, female attention.

I'd dipped my toe into the first two through our fake dating stunt, and that had prepared me to take the plunge long-term. As for the last one, though... I trusted him. Even after everything, I trusted him implicitly. But that didn't mean I'd be totally fine with girls throwing themselves at him. I already knew the temptation would be there; I didn't need to see it with my own eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere, Ed," I said quietly. "Admitting how I felt was one of the scariest things I've done. If I had an inkling of a doubt left in me, I wouldn't have gone through with it."

Ideally I wouldn't be having this personal conversation in front of Helen and Mark, but hopefully my candidness allowed Ed to realise how serious I was.

He flicked a wrist in Mark's direction. "He had no right to tell you about previous security threats. I wanted that to come from me."

"He didn't give me any details." I lowered my voice. "He was just trying to make me understand the need for security, so I wouldn't repeat what I did after the awards ceremony."

His foot stopped bouncing, some of the tension easing. He breathed out a small sigh of resignation. "Right."

That had seemed to appease him. Maybe Mark was forgiven if he'd gone against Ed's wishes in order to protect me.

"We'll do some boxing at the gym later," Mark said to him. "I'll let you land a few punches as retribution."

Ed's eyes narrowed. "You won't need to let me. I've got enough motivation to knock you out all by myself."

Or maybe he wasn't forgiven. 

***

Thank you for reading :) xx

***

Fighting talk from Ed, but let's be honest: he's delusional. There's no way he can take down Mark. Speaking of Mark, some of you will be happy to hear he has a bigger role in book 3. It's been fun exploring his friendship with Ed, his developing relationship with Soph, and the dynamic between the three of them (don't worry -- no love triangle).

In the meantime though, we get a peek into Ed's phone next chapter when he gives Soph access to his social media DMs. What do you think she's going to find?